Category Archives: Neat Town

shockers (L is for Red)

He told me to look for Green…

—–

“Alright, let’s give up the gig. *Master*.”

—–

He said to give peace a chance and that Horsa is the place. Go see Lena Horned. “She’s the complete package,” he reiterates with others.


after the gig

—–

I was back in Bellisaria. Red’s daughter, or at least the (old?) neighbors.

I decide to head west into Cowabunga. Misdirection? We’ll see.

I spotted something to the west after I entered the northeast corner of the sim. Just plain colors. I went there next…

What was it?

I see. A *witch*.

“Welcome.”

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“The Neat Town moss people never received that big squid or octopus and so the red and white lighthouse remained on the green, no one else able to move it, not even jointly,” Kick-ass Boos recites from the top bunker again, joint still in hand, although almost small enough to require pliers. “Dwarfed, they were,” he finished.

Well that’s a nice story, thought Axis-Windmill from the lower bunk bed opposite him. But it doesn’t explain my dream where I lost my hands!

—–

Claude looked over at Paul, realizing if he bent his will there might be no leaving this place, ever. The 20000 lb. lighthouse could not be budged; time to call in reinforcements.

“Sorry I’m late.”

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controlled

“Awfully nice for you to come over and cook me dinner again, Alysha.”

Alysha, she thinks. *That’s* how he sees me now? “Sure, honey,” she says. “Anything for my number 1 man.” Number 10 at best she calculates to herself. She’s just that deep into it. Horns of Hatton, pheh. Manga, huh. She sprinkles spice on the meatloaf and asks him what he’s up to today, hoping the heck she wouldn’t be involved. But she does feel sorry about the hands. The Abyss will have its price, she thinks. And the Abyss is very close here. Very close indeed. About as close as that big whale circling around this treehouse.

“Business down South,” he answers from his rocking hammock. “Have to take Pricky.”

Thanks Gods, she ponders. “Oh? Big haul, then?”

“More marine life, yeah. Squid, I think. Or octopus — can’t recall right now. Anyway have to go to Cass City to pick it up; haul it up North somewhere. Meat Town I think it’s called. I’ll have to look it up on my map.”

*Neat* Town, Alysha thinks from the sink, pondering whether to add poison to the recipe to stop the whole thing. She knows why she’s here now. But not to kill him, she realizes. Instead: kiss; use her magical powers.

By the time they’d finished, Alysha had had a chance to alter the map. The whale ended up going the wrong way and never reached its intended destination. Roth wasn’t fired, but he never saw his precious, red headed Alysha again. Blonde Wanda filled the void, but Wanda couldn’t cook worth shite and had to be disposed of herself. Fed to the sharks, some say, although she actually just went back to Bombtown and eventually married a man with 3 eyes. Then came Sally. Or was it Shelley? No: Sally.

“Do you want some meatloaf on your spice tonight?” she called from the kitchen, preparing for the worse.

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wanted: large, many armed marine creature able to lift 20000 lbs.

Martha Fish Stew Boos finally installed an invisible fence on the other side of the road to keep her shopping carts from disappearing. Now they couldn’t take them through the hidden portal in the small hillock to do whatever they do with metal objects like that. Maybe build primitive spaceships for all she knows, trying to rocket off to whatever God hell awful planet they originate from. Truth was, they were trying to make another one of those giant shoes. They had enough metal. All they needed now was a large quantity of moss and an even larger octopus (or squid) and off they go. They’d get the moss after molting season. Shouldn’t be long. Martha went to all the trouble for nothing.


“Just leave it,” Claude commanded from within.

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each having their fun

—–

He was getting valuable information out of this Cornfeld fellow, Natha Neil I believe. Green Acres he comes from (he claims). Farm living. Delight — for him. I tried to keep him on track about the city. “Neat Town?” he replied. “Never a city. More a *Hooterville*, in that…” I stopped him. The guy would have been right at home in Horns and with the old religious man. Dig a little beneath the surface and it’s always Hooterville for these lot — Fraud had it right in many ways. “But Red started it,” I furthered. “Unloaded her shacks out of a giant, mossy green shoe with the help of an octopus.” “Squid,” he replied, but didn’t elaborate. So he knew about that event too (!). “So it is true,” I said to him. He looked away with this, more toward the center of town. “You’ll find more information in the diner, *her* diner.” I took my leave. “Ask for Green!” he shouted as I left the grounds.

—–

Out back:

“Henry, I told you not to drive this thing when you’re drunk. It’s been in the woods for 50 years (!). You’ll explode (again).”

Too late.

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red diner

“It was fun playing Kickass Boos again,” he said mildly, per usual. “I enjoyed yelling. I’m not… a yeller.”

“I’m glad you enjoyed it,” the Controller said back. She had more plans for Kickass. And his brother — also named Kickass, Bogota in his case.

Now where was I?

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camping

The first night staying in Neat Town I shared a cabin with a guy named BOOS, oddly enough. I was checking the blog for new posts about Cass City (no go) when he began to speak about the main topic at hand.

“Have you seen one?”

I was still busy with the search. “Cass City + Windmill”. Nope, hadn’t been there in a couple of nights, not since meeting — who was it? — Percy Pierce (of course!) at that place next to the railroad that runs between Cass City and Scratchy — almost runs. Strange that those 2 cats control all of Our Second Lyfe. Or so Percy says. Overlords, eh? Not the Lindens. I looked over. I could only see the top of his blue body from my position, not even a head. “I’m sorry… what did you say?”

“I *said*, have you *seen* one? The samsquanch.”

“They wha-? Oh.” I think back to the big bigfoot statue at the entrance to the campground I decided to stay at to begin my exploration of the town and its environs. “You mean sasquatch. Yes: bigfoot.” I tried a search on the tag Percy, then started with Guy/Guyd. Aha (!) Benjamin Guy *is* Guyd — with an extra letter. Figures.

“Bigfoot yes, whadd I say? I have.”

Axis-Windmill set the laptop aside, figuring he’d have to follow through with the conversation or else get no more work done tonight. “15 minutes,” he requested as politely as possible. “Then I must get back to my business. I have an important blog to run now.”

BOOS would not be deterred from his subject. “They came down in a, get this, *shoe* on the western edge of town, a *giant* one. They started unloading red houses, started dotting the landscape with ’em. The shoe flew away. The bigfoot started moving the houses into position. A town was born. A *neat* town.”

Axis-Windmill’s forehead furrowed, trying to wrap his brain around what the heck BOOS was talking about. Neat Town created by bigfoot or, er, bigfeet? “How many?” he decided to reply.

“How many what?”

“How many bigfeet did it take to create the town? Or were involved?”

“I don’t know. *Ten*? What does it matter? We’re talking about *bigfoot*. He’s *real*.”

“I’m sure there are women bigfeet as well.” Axis-Windmill wasn’t going to let go of his new appelation. Bigfoot plural: bigfeet. He’ll look up if anyone else calls them that after he’s finished talking with BOOS. He checks his watch: 8 minutes now.

“Awwww,” BOOS waves over at me. “You don’t believe.” He rolls over and pretends the conversation is over, baiting me. So I decided to take it.

“I believe. No, truly, I believe. Tell me (quick search for “Rebl” now in the pause)… more.” I’ll half listen for the remaining, let’s see, 6 minutes now. Won’t be long.

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’tis the season of Boos

Ohhh. *This* corn.

And some candy ta boot.

Axis-Windmill thinks he’s going to like this new place.

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In the mirror, Percy Pierce stared at the device on her chest that made her controlled. At least it’s not in her *head*, she ruminated, trying to cheer herself up. And, after all, it’s what makes her a top notch director, able to think in many directions at once, see many possibilities. The problem, then, becomes *choice*. And that’s where Axis-Windmill Man comes into play; why he was manufactured in the first place. She needed someone imaginary to do battle with. Manual, pheh. There *is* no manual.

—–

“What are you looking for little boy?”

“Toys.”

She spreads her arms wide. “Alll around.”

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