Lānaʻi (/ləˈnaɪ, lɑːˈnɑːi/; Hawaiian: [laːˈnɐʔi, naː-]) is the sixth-largest of the Hawaiian Islands and the smallest publicly accessible inhabited island in the chain. It is colloquially known as Pineapple Island because of its past as an island-wide pineapple plantation….
In 1921, Charles Gay planted the first pineapple on Lānaʻi. The population had again decreased to 150, most of whom were the descendants of the traditional families of the island. A year later, James Dole, the president of Hawaiian Pineapple Company (later renamed Dole Food Company), bought the island and developed a large portion of it into the world’s largest pineapple plantation….
In 1985, Lānaʻi passed into the control of David H. Murdock, as a result of his purchase of Castle & Cooke, then owner of Dole….
In June 2012, Larry Ellison, then CEO of Oracle Corporation, purchased Castle & Cooke’s 98 percent share of the island for $300 million. The state owns the remaining 2 percent.
“I have gone too far down
Murdock Cherry. Collagewold influence lessening. The green A Team from Pineapple has murdered — even lasered down with their red beam — the blue Bees. Shivering commences again. Porch sitting Homer and Lady La La talk about knife fights and poisoning. The saucy eyed saucer spits out aberrant things.”
“I must return back to The Islands.”
“It’s perfect Patrick. We can raise our child here on retro Pineapple Island. We don’t need Eotia Village any longer. It’s just me and you, babe. I got you and all that.”
“What about the Oracle?” spoke Patrick, wiser than ever. The baby was coming!
“Oh, that thing. Discard it. Let it go. Tigers can be found anywhere. In the jungle. In the snow. Even in the desert or wasteland. We have our baby to think about now.”
“Something’s not right, Zoidboro. There shouldn’t be a lake here. And the trees should be taller.”
“Nothing to worry about. Everything will adjust. Dog Island, the new one, is right over there.” Zoidboro indicates behind them, through the feed store and across the bay. “This is the new Murdock’s Island. Pineapple. The highway ends here.”
“I think the trees *are* getting taller now.”
“And the water is beginning to evaporate. See? Everything will be fine.”
“Amazing, Patrick my man. Man *wo*man. All I had to do was volunteer to preach at the local Broken Clock Church twice a week and we get wined and dined all we desire. Room and board too.”
“No – more – cave!” expressed Patrick, who hated to shiver. Doc said his baby was due any day. “Another glass of rosé?”
“Don’t mind if I do, sir. Don’t mind if I do.”
“I don’t understand, Magnus Ellen. The observing truck is gone here at Crow Island. How do we keep up with the progression of Zoidboro and boy gal Patrick?”
“Something must have changed,” opined the wise Buddhist to his understudy. “Strands (of time) must have been altered.”
Sidechick Corea paced nervously on the wooden swing bridge. “What… now, then?”
“Back to Rosehaven. Back to the cave. There *must* be a portal, for we’ve seen Zoidboro also preaching in Rosehaven Serenity.”
“How many places *is* he preaching, sire?”
“Maybe he can’t stop saying, ‘Don’t mind if I do, sir. Don’t mind if I do.'”