Category Archives: 07

southward

Elvis Kannelvis’ small, pine dominated Linden forest, shaped like an arrow, points directly to the center of X-City: the famed crossroads of Maebaleia/Satoris and the symbolic heart of the continent as a whole. As the heart goes so does the land, but right now we’re dealing more with a spade (upside down/oppositely colored heart) situation. A Menace has taken over. Where will Elvis go now? Will he simply remain in this wood forever and ever, finding out more and more information about The Line through nightly dreams?

He’s seen Randolph the Bastard Pirate and Wendy Wheeler Wilson rendezvous almost daily at the Kingpost pirate bar. He knows what goes on there; that was the beginning, what set it all in motion. The Line begins. Then we have Aunt Ginger on the complete opposite side of the 28 sim long phenomenon with the Intrepide tinies, herself being miniature as well most likely. Tealy and Tillie are on their way over there as I type, attempting to figure out the where/who/why of the vast explosion they saw the smoke billowing up from the other day from their home on the shores of Rubisea (also on The Line). Red being Devil Dave is in the mix too but I’m not sure how.

And then there’s Tessa.


“Steady as she goes, Fisher/Philip Strevor/Devil Dave!”

END OF “SUNKLANDS 2021-2020 WINTER”!

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The pageantry of Elvis Kannelvis’ hole jump brought out a number of the local dare-demon wannabe’s, like Ricky Pageant and his even more dare-devilly and showboating skating partner, er, Millgate (partially hidden by street lamp here).

Ricky is the step-brother of Annaliza Pageant who we’ve met in photo-novel 14 as the Intake Manager of Sinkology U. just down the street. No relationship to the pageantry of the current event that we know of.

All sorts of tourists showed up, only mildly disappointed when Elvis Kannelvis pulled a no show and Blue Berry Girl had to fill in for him. “Elvis who?” many said, unaware of his moderate fame up until this point in his dare-demon career. “Lizard what?” they might add on, not hearing of his main claim to moderate fame: the Lizard Gulch Jump of ’86 which resulted in only 2 spectator deaths, despite the prognostications. If only there would have been more, Elvis Kannelvis often lamented in secret.

Some people were confused about the nature of his newest dare-demon event. Was he going to *jump* the hole, as in jump over it, or jump *into* it. And, if so, what was the point of it all? What did he expect to accomplish in either case? The width of the hole didn’t seem that impressive, but there were all those jagged little peaks around it that could prove a hazard and got some mouths salivating for blood. But what about the depth — where did the hole lead? Was it bottomless? some speculated. Was there a hot breakfast and a golden staircase waiting for Elvis when he reached the bottom? Crazy stuff like that, fueled by the excessive sugar intake no doubt. Hank’s Urban Ice Cream Parlor was running a 2 fer 1 scoop deal throughout the whole of it. He knew it would pay off for him big time in the end, whatever the results of the event.

—–

“There’s *my* little dare-demon. Smile you demon!”

“Oh stop it Ray.” (*blush*)

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liquids

The day of the Great Jump had come and gone, and Elvis Kannelvis hadn’t participated. Instead he stayed in the small Linden Wood, learning more about The Line with each passing night. No one knew where he was — the woods had a way of hiding people like that as well. The hole was not made to be jumped into; it was a mere pointer to the Guy who owned it, who then pointed him back to The Line. Blue Berry Girl took his place in the event. Blue Berry Girl never had a chance, her round, juice filled body pierced by the jagged sides of the hole less than halfway down, with a pool of blue-violet at the bottom marking her failed effort. Not Linden water, because that would be a little further down still and the hole didn’t penetrate that far. Unlike the former Ulyanovsk Oblast hole strangely (yet again!) equidistant from the central crossroads of X-City as this Gangkhar Hole. This was false water, false liquid. Not Linden. Not Guy. Guy had pointed elsewhere.

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wedding 03

Weddings at St. Mary’s traditionally took place after the Munday sermon so Preacher Stephan had to sacrifice a Renaldo O’Donnell clown first to appease the Gods. Tradition as well.

“Oops, that was a real squirter Pitch, ha.” The Darklys excused themselves to go home and wash clothes.

Afterwards church officials found the sacrificial altar was too heavy to move, so they made do with a cheap wedding booth found buried in a pile of junk at the back of the annex. Toothpick and Elberta then said their “I do’s” to Preacher Ziegler, since Preacher Stephan, a Northerner, refused to acknowledge the Deep South tradition of marrying siblings as kosher.

At the reception, Marty sang one of his beautiful love ditties to Saffie sitting with Toothpick, Elberta and best man Zapppa, hoping to get a better rental unit out of it.

Time to cut the cake. Big Wanda becomes annoyed about the orange butterflies that keep flying off her head in the excitement and leaves the task solely to Toothpick.

As feared, Her Majesty the local bigfoot/yeti came up from the new hole behind St. Mary’s to pay her respects to the newlyweds but was surprisingly controlled by the Corona-V pirates and ended up not eating anyone.

Lastly: group picture. Everyone had a laugh about all the innuendos.

And that’s it! Log another Collagesity or Sunklands photo-novel in the books.

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wedding 02

Barefoot Toothpick had a dream that night. The overalls were removed again. He was walking across a field of delicious green grass that should be a paved, car filled street toward a building that would answer it all. Instead it was full of playing kids and supervising parents who were also having fun, shrugging away the burden of responsibility for the time being. Fun. Toothpick should be having that too. But he had other things to do he knew were both right and wrong at the same time. It was as if truth were suspended in mid-air before him off a bridging pole.

The location? Picton, but it wasn’t called that any longer, not after this festival or whatever it is. The name was now Pict on Pict, short for Picture on Picture, a new blog category. Heck, let’s just call it Picturetown, or maybe Frametown if we draw out a bit more. But we can’t right this moment because of the setting, blackness or the abyss all around. Picturetown it is.

Elberta meets him near the threshold. Certain Death is both at the front window and nearer the door, another 2n1 situation since time is overlapping here again (Munday = Sunday + Monday). She knew she’d have to lose the body to go inside. They hold hands.

Not what they were expecting.

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wedding 01

There he is, the poor bastard. Taking his troubles out by fishing at the canal and drinking that Bud beer he likes. But it’s my job as site manager of Moe’s to clean him up and get him ready for marriage. I don’t know why but it was in the job description: get Toothpick ready to marry his sister on Wednesday’s Thursday Friday’s Saturday Tuesday. Munday, in other words, the 6th and final day of the week. Marrying day. At St. Mary’s. Should have been the Temple (of TILE) but it is what it is. Carrcassonnee wasn’t ready; the boss couldn’t get Carr started, har. And so we are only left with 6 instead of 7, but still a Happy Day indeed, or it is suppose to be. By eliminating the 7th, we make sure the brother-sister thing is okay with the higher authorities, meaning God and his choirs of angels and demons alike.

—–

“Where’s Mr. Z?” he asked later at Moe’s where I helped him put on his suspenders one strap at a time.

“Traveling,” I answered. “Out on the continents gathering more masks.”

“Oh. Then I guess maw won’t be showing up either.”

“No. I’m your best man now.” 2nd strap done. Now to commence with the snaggly tooth combing and Neptune demo hair brushing.

“I expect a post card will do from them.”

“On with the show,” I say as I lead him to the sink behind the bar counter. “You still have your sister and that’s the important thing.”

“Really?” he declared. “After the wedding — will I really have a twin sister left either?”

I couldn’t answer that. It was up to the love birds and the alchemical gods to decide that. The marriage is what it is. He removes his toothpick and applies comb to teeth as I brush his hair with paste.

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“Raging Crow/John Bob Denver”

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Mercury X. Rising’s still down there, heh. Waiting for Wheeler. He’s certainly in love with his car.

Man About Time — MAT — turns. “And what about you my friend. My best friend. Are you ready to really turn over this time?”

—–

MAT phoned up Toothpick. “The wedding will have to be called off. I can’t get Wheeler, I mean, Carrcassonnee to start.” Toothpick begins to sob profusely. MAT reconsiders. “There *is* one other option. We have the beginning of a new town suburb, one that might seal the deal and make 90 into 100. Are you ready to take that chance, make the leap across a small but not insignificant gap?” Toothpick stopped crying, wiped his eyes, blew his nose. “Sure,” he was finally able to speak. “But what?”

“St. Mary’s. Just behind the Bigfoot Bar, or what use to be that bar. Moe’s I think it is called now. In fact, I own it. I own the church. I own the land bridging the church with the bar with the gallery with the apartment. I own it all. Your wedding to Elberta would help seal the deal. In fact, I think I’ll invite a good friend of mine who happens to be a grey seal. Can you find it? Just behind the Bigfoot Bar. Quickly, before he turns into a snow covered Yeti and we’re all in danger. Can you handle it?”

—–

Toothpick rings up Elberta. “We must get to 245,” he spoke without emotion, trying to complete…

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end

She was waiting to get her red tie and watching DeBoy up front ask question after question to Miss Graham the teacher. Soon she would be as inept as him but it wouldn’t last long. She had some cheat notes. The 5 looking on were eager to have a new host. Their stares through a window to her soul made Hucka Doobie nervous and scratch her arm until it almost bled on top of the bleeding heart tattoo that came with the body she’s had, oh, since Tammy Whatammy pushed her into that collage and sent her reeling reeling reeling (back?) to Gaston and that jail cell with *him*. The Most Ancient One: Casey One Hole. Another scratch here.

Miss Graham was readjusting the vast series of equations on her blackboard to include the new variable: the snapping red tie, which we know now is the same as a picture taking camera. Hucka Doobie had been exposed, with the prints now developing in a Red Room not far from here. On Level D I believe. She had no other choice, then. The red tie must go along with the red dress. Wish someone would have told me that before, she thinks while the chalk dust flies again up front, a finalizing equation.

What of Baker Bloch? Who will take care of him now, act as his sounding board when needed, give him sage advice when necessary (a lot!)? The people here helping with the transition say his other part, Baker Blinker, flew in from Chilbo yesterday but only to say goodbye, really. She, as Magika Bean, is starting her wrestling tour with Flip Bean — Wheeler — day after tomorrow’s Tuesday. Another jett plane flying not to war technically but certainly to battles. Battles do not necessarily add up to war all the time. Magika and Flip are friendly adversaries if you know what I mean, another 1/2 and 1/2, but she wasn’t suppose to use that expression for a while. That’s what the intervention group told her and she’s following through, kind of. 1/2 and… jeez. She rolls her eyes here while glancing up front again. Oh, something is happening making the situation slightly more interesting now. Miss Graham is pulling DeBoy by the tie toward her! She’s… planting a kiss on not his head but… his lips! She’s dragging him sideways now with the tie past the board with all the equations, and then behind it. She’s…

Hucka Doobie can’t look any more. But she’ll get his tie this way. Until she decides to relinquish it herself in the same manner.

—–

She looks at the 5 after it’s finished. She scratches again.

Miss Graham approaches down the aisle; soon they’ll be a part of her. Here comes the tie. The head passes through the knotted hole. Miss Graham straightens and tightens it around her neck. She feels them enter, one by one by one until all 5 are there to say, “hi!”.

END OF “SUNKLANDS 2020 LATER”.

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beef

But Hucka Doobie actually had other plans.

She hesitated at first but then jumped right in. Thanks to the encouragement of new friend Leforest Bresford, co-owner of the Oz consignment store along with Verbena Litwalton. But Leforest had just seen Verbena off as she flew back to war in her EF2000 EuroFighter Typhoon Display Model jett airplane. She said she didn’t know when she’d return and that she hated to go but battle called. “The Greys need me,” she ended and zoomed off into the deep blue sky on that yesterday’s tomorrow’s cool September morning’s afternoon.

“Yes, boys. I know I’m a dazzler, ha ha.” Hucka Doobie calls over to Leforest, pouring green tea in the distance for no one. She was probably bat shit crazy in grief. “Where to forth next, new bestie!” She’d put toddler-ish Baker Bloch on the back burner for now. She was going to strike out on her own. The boys kept snapping, like wild red ties.

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