Category Archives: 0002



Cleveland Rocks had forever been the most holy place in the Dawg Pound for Mabel and Little, ever since they were little kids. It harbored the grave of The Host with The Most (alternately: Host Charming), who also heavily haunted the craggy knoll and its receiving bridge. The twins had withheld taking Baker Bloch to the sacred rocks until now because they knew it was all leading up to this finality.

As explained later by Mabel, a ghost of The Host had manifested to Baker as he passed over the bones of Those Who Do Not Rock while walking the bridge, quickly fading. “If he did not approve of your presence here,” Mabel says, “you would be tossed from the bridge by a gale of wind into the ravine below, your skeleton collected and then hung with the others, a *most* unfortunate end.” But the twins had faith in Baker. They knew he would not perish — destiny.


And yet another manifestation, seeming to say, “Congratulations. You rock!”


Baker also passed by this fading representation and through the torii gate to join Little on the rocks.


He did not get up to receive Baker, but simply greeted him by name and motioned to the pillow next to his own in the gazebo.


Little stared at Baker and then at his own, sneakered feet. “We’ve even named the white butterflies here,” he started. “Big and Old, after our other titles. For you see, my full name is Little Big (as Mabel’s is Old Mabel). I’m about to grow up, Baker Bloch. Oh I didn’t want to. I’ve fought the urge to fight. But it is time. You are here. You must take Mabel as your own. It does not matter whether you are married or not — Mabel would obviously prefer the former — but you must take her. Away from here.”

“I don’t understand,” said Baker Bloch. “What’s happening to you?”

Little held his stare steady now. “I am going to war.”


As Baker was absorbing this proclamation, a small, silent ship descended from the sky and landed on Cleveland Rocks to their side. Little took a long time to even look in its direction, instead searing thoughts into Baker Bloch’s mind with all the intensity a fledgling soldier could muster. Thoughts of he and Mabel chasing the white butterflies on the rocks and almost falling off not once but several times. Pictures of the compound at different times of the day that he’ll never lose. Visions of happiness for Mabel as she takes on a new life. And then the awful battles to come; obviously he might never make it back here, might never see and hold his beloved twin sister ever again. “Childhood crosses manhood here,” he finally managed, and stood up to enter the ship through a proffered ramp. Mabel called loud from the temple. “NO!! DON’T GO!! LITTLE!!!”


“We had to set childish things aside,” explained Mabel two days later, as they left through the iris door of the Dawg Pound, never to return. “The factions are fighting in several solar systems at once. It’s Whites verses Greens everywhere. Just yesterday, a new battle broke out at Muff-Bermingham. It was only a matter of time before the war caught up with us, found us in our cradled haven. Little had to grow up and become Big, I had to grow up and become Old. Although we are 119 of your years, that is still young for Martians of our species. We had to move onward.” She put her hands to her helmet and cried once again.

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Furtherer Study?

Wheeler decided to take Hucka Doobie with her to review more Boos collages, since she had sent Karoz Blogger, along with Baker Blinker, out to the distant Muff-Bermingham to search for what she called The One, additionally suggesting that they could double up on the task and use it as a type of second honeymoon. Although Wheeler fully expected them to return (thanks to a protective amulet given to Karoz before their departure) she was quite surprised when they also toted back the requested object. Wheeler was actually uncertain of its location — could have been found in a number of spots scattered across several solar systems. I’ll elucidate more of Karoz’s and Blinks’ journey soon. Let’s get to those collages.

Wheeler couldn’t remember where she stopped in her review of the Boos works, so she just chose Boos 23 (“Goodland Goodwater 03”) to begin, since there was a heavy Mars vibe going on with that as well.


“Hucka Doobie,” she said. “You are quite the expert in interpreting Baker B. collages. What do you make of this? You didn’t have a chance to review this work last fall, nor any of the other Boos efforts. Do you feel slighted by this? Do you feel the need for revenge on Baker B.? We can technically make him not your user if you feel so inclined. I have that power. You are being fulfilled, Hucka Doobie,” she continued in her chattier manner this morning; I believe she might have had a bit too much coffee. “Like Karoz, like everyone involved with The Table, including me. Baker Bloch will be returning soon with The Two and then we’ll have everything we need to complete the triangle and assimilate into, well, God to be frank with you Hucka Doobie. Do you think much about God these days, Hucka? He’s right up there, in the clouds. Not that far up. If he let down his long grey beard like Rapunzel, you could almost grab onto it and climb up to join him. Not quite, but close. A small gap. A gap that can be managed easily enough. With the triangle. Ever listen to Messiaen, Hucka Doobie?” she continued even more. “MessiaenSphere? Messiaen Trek? You’ll have to learn all of those when you sit at The Table. The Table should be set in Heaven by that point. You’ll see. This is only the beginning. I am The Bill and I will soon be one with God. We all will. That’s how it works. We’re taking a shortcut to the End Point. You’ll see soon enough.”

“Are you finished?” Hucka Doobie was then able to wedge in. “Can I have my say about this collage — *finally*?” But Wheeler was quite nervously worked up by this point. “No, not today. I’m now not in the mood. Return to your home. That’s an order.”

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Dog Ship

While Baker Bloch has landed his dog ship for a bathroom break, it seems like a good time to take a closer look.


First off, you can notice what appears to be a small tail next to the big or normal tail of the dog, protruding from its body as well. This was sometimes called in the business the Dog Wagger, a sign of prestige actually. How well you crafted this second tail is a measure of how much you knew what you were doing. Now let’s go inside and see what this is all about.


Baker Bloch’s dog ship is, in fact, an old traveling wrestlers’ show, the canine shape being a novelty attraction. Customers paid to view the match (which, as you can tell, frequently turned bloody) from two “sitting trees” positioned on opposite sides of the small, fenced-in ring. The Dog Wagger is actually the protusion of the longest limb of the rear tree through the ship’s hull.


The wrestlers, often the scum of the virtual universe understandably, stayed in this cramped space below the rink, only accessible through a door in the opposite leg of the dog from the main entrance.


The ship’s cockpit could be reached through this small bridge beside the ring, passing atop the wrestlers’ bunk beds.


The ship’s pilots sat here in two egg shaped chairs. Well, I say pilots, but one was usually a lower grade simulant, linked to the flesh and blood pilot through a mind-body meld. Even in the beginning of the novelty act, one of the wrestlers themselves would often double as this pilot. In later days, this was always the case, and even the simulant might be dumped in favor of the 2nd wrestler. This usually made for one bumpy ride. The business rapidly deteriorated. Dog ships can only be found at salvage sales these days, which is where Wheeler probably picked it up for Baker Bloch to journey through the Martian landscape.



Using a bit of photo-trickery, Baker demonstrates how spectators would gather around the ring. Obviously some seats were worth more money than others.

Rear tree.

Front tree.

And that’s the story of the dog ship! I hope you enjoyed it. On with the current show…

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Life on Mars 03

15 minutes later, Baker Bloch was back in the cave station, seeing things in the animation patterns that he’d passed over before. “MessiaenSphere,” he cursed while looking at the information.


“Keep me informed of what you find,” Wheeler called from the eating booth in the 1 room station. She continued staring out into the cave.


“I knew you couldn’t be my mother,” Baker Bloch said back.

“Well, yeah, sorry about that. Just a joke. The Table couldn’t be set up properly yet since Spongeberg called in sick — perhaps he feined illness — but I had some time to kill and thought I’d follow you into Mars to see what dirty tricks you were up to. Speaking of rust and dirt and such, Karoz should be arriving soon. Then you can take your leave, Baker Bloch. Your services will no longer be needed. Just tell me what you find for now. Take some snapshots of the screens if you wish. I already know what’s on them. It’s God, Baker Bloch. God. [delete 2 minutes of exchanges]


“These space chips are pretty good, Baker,” Wheeler said with her mouth full. “Maybe — umm — maybe you should take a break from staring at that computer screen. You may get assimilated like you know who. You know, the black dude with the red violin. Sure you don’t want any?” She shakes the bag in Baker’s direction, but no response. “MessiaenSphere, eh? Who could have known?”


Karoz never found Jacksboro. His weekly beatings became bi-weekly for remainder of the month.

Baker is roused by a hummingbird.

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Life on Mars 02

“Tell me about Phil Heartthrob, then,” asked the son Baker.

“What’s there to tell? Your *father* couldn’t do the deed so I had to hire a surrogate. Winter in Alps. Remember?”

“I remember. Can I call you… mom?”

“No, keep referring to me as Old Grey. As you can tell by my appearance it’s a name that applies more now. Before I was only 43 to your 8. Yet still you remembered me as ancient. How do I look now? Like a *mummy*, hehe?”

“No,” Baker lied. “You look fine. You look young,” he added, but immediately knew he’d taken it too far.

“Just like your father. Never saying what you really feel. I was never who you thought I was.”

She changed.

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Life on Mars 01

Baker Bloch and his dog traveled many miles into the Martian landscape before coming upon this more interesting raised terrace with several structures. It’s the first real proof Baker found for Life on Mars.



Unfortunately the only residents of this plateau were dancing automatons. No contact made — quite yet.


Baker pressed on. 15K to the north north west he found the Jacksboro base, which turned out to be more lucrative.


A cave attracted his attention. He’s found in his experiences that holes often contain answers to puzzles, riddles, and cyphers. This would include holes on their sides.



It looked like a dry run at first. Baker scanned the computer screen in the cave station but found only Second Life animation (again).


He then explored the main Jacksboro station next to the cave, composed of 6 connected pods and a central greenhouse. Baker Bloch knew one thing: this was really and actually Mars he was on now. As well as all of Collagesity.


But this might not have been the most astounding thing he determined today. Someone appeared at the pod door.


“Jesus Christ, Old Grey! How the heck did *you* get here? I haven’t seen you since I was 8, I suppose.”


“Yes, I’m Old Grey. said the woman Baker Bloch thought of as his wet nurse. But I’m also someone else. Don’t you know me boy?”


Baker thought hard and deep before making a guess. He now additionally remembered summers in Paris, skiing in the Alps, and dinner at Andre’s.


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Table Test 01




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“You’ve done well Baker Bloch. The little hat was a winner. Now I’m really starting to feel like The Bill; starting to really get into the role. This absorption may be important. And there’s the dollar bill to consider. I suppose that’s where Bill got his name…”

“… come to think of it,” Baker Bloch finished.


“I want to try something out,” Wheeler then said. “E un zios miwas.”

“Vadājedummz: pi.”

“Look behind you Baker Bloch. Someone old and grey is speaking Perch. That’s my name for it: Perch. We just spoke Perch.”

“Not Wurme?” Baker Bloch looked confused.

“Not Toikey either. Perch,” Wheeler reinforced. “Another visitor has arrived,” she then announced. “Brainard Bastard Baby Boy. B4. Go and see before he leaves for the hills again. Go now. We are done.”

Not what Baker Bloch was expecting.

He goes inside.


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The Appearance of Chester the Librarian




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Further Study

Wheeler rang me up. “We should go look at more [Boos] collages, Baker Bloch,” she said. “To keep the old grey matter exercised.” I was thinking more “exorcised”, but whatever. Here we go!



“This is where I lived,” Wheeler said, staring at Boos 11. “I worked I lived. I lived to work. Spool table — that was a key. I am the spool table. Round and round and round. And in the middle: The Bill. Pay The Bill Baker Bloch. The Bill is the center. Did I tell you about Lemon Bar John — sorry, Hucka Doobie? For some reason I get those two confused.”

“Well, they’re both short,” I attempted to rationalize. “And sort of both yellow.”

“He is the latest to join the Big Boy Table. Graduated from the Children’s Table, you see.”

“I see.”

“He represents, how would you put it, all things Oz and all things Floyd. No need to bring back the 2 Rogers if we let Hucka Doobie fill in. He is, in summary and in culmination, SID’s 1st Oz, the last true non-carrcass.”


“It’s a good role for him,” I admitted. “And that completes The Table?”

“There’s one seat left.”


Boos 12, and Wheeler getting further into a role.

What’s black and white and red all over (Boos 13)? Obvious.

Boos 14.

“Wasn’t there a “Book of 3″ in the library somewhere, Baker Bloch? Be a doll and go check it out for me. Bring it to The Table. But don’t sit down with it. Just put it on The Table. And then leave. Be a doll, please. Do it.”


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