Daily Archives: July 14, 2020

crooked

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Philip Strevor was his own boss for a while but that changed when he entered the Red Room and met Casey One Hole, the bastard. From then on, he worked for him; boss no more. Instead he was a grunt man, bullying underlings and upward mobile wannabes. Like Whatammys except transparent. Sammy Whatammy, aka Miss Raincoat, waited in the waiting room to be seen next by Philip. Then it was Yoko Ona (upward mobile wannabe) and then Zapppa (underling). The place was still heavily bugged.

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“Never mind the sign,” he made the obligatory apology to start. “I’m not the boss any more. *He* is. He calls the shots, sometimes golf shots, sometimes other kinds of shots, if you know what I mean.” He stared at Miss Raincoat/Sammy Whatammy, expecting an answer. “Do you *know*… what I *mean*?” he repeated more sinisterly, as was appropriate at this juncture. He’d seen it happen. He didn’t want to see someone face that kind of music again. Pizza!

“I testified just like [delete name] wanted me to. I said all the words I was suppose to say.” She repeated some of the words here: “Underwater. Sinky. Blub blub blub. Just like [delete name] told me.”

“Why can’t you say [delete name]?”

Delete what?

The name of our (actual) boss. [Delete name]. Dang! Now I’m doing it too. Must be [delete word].”

“[Delete name][delete word] is obviously [delete word][delete name]. Reversed.”

“*That* bloodied vampire? That imbecile? Impossible.”

“I believe [delete word].”

“*He’s* Casey One Hole? Played by ever method actor Tom Casey? Dang!”

(to be continued?)

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blub blub blub (sinking)

Sammy Whatammy went home after work and just sat here usually. She never saw sister Tammy. Nammy and Pammy never called — it’s like they didn’t exist. Only Crayola and herself, waiting for this mysterious boss to show up.

“How long was it last week? 3 weeks?”

“Welllllll,” replied Crayola, stretching out words with her large red mouth like she’s wont to do. “Tiiiimme does work difffereeentllly upp therrrrre.”

Looking down at her still normalized shoes, the only bit that remained, she remembered why she never saw Tammy: Witchery.

“Yooouurr cryiinnng. Wouldd youu like anotther sheeetttt?”

—–

Two weeks and 36 bar shifts later, the boss shows up, golf club in hand. This was his club, and Sammy and Crayola were his slaves servants.

“Hey!” he harshly cried through the underwater window. “Wake up in there and open the door!”

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