Daily Archives: February 21, 2024

Green Squirt One (it’s not easy)

He sat up front so he could see better with his littler head. The Mann and Bullfrog sat a row back, glad of the excuse for privacy. Now they could talk freely — or whisper freely — while Aqua Dude was absorbed in the story. The Mann of course knew the contents of the film inside and out, having studied the hated Dynamic Duo for years looking for weaknesses and such. Bullfrog was just glad to get away from his controlling lover/partner and chat with someone else without sparking jealousy. Albert (or Alberta) retreated back into his maintenance position and, as stated, was forgotten by all. Tea serves well as a reminder to forget.

“I thought you were dead,” The Mann began in his whisper of a tone.

“No. That was the doctor. We exchanged places, good for me bad for him.”

The Mann absorbed this. “What about your family? Red Squirt 7 wasn’t it?”

“Dead as well. Dead through gunns.”

More absorbing. “What about wo-mann?”

Bullfrog looked over. Aqua Dude was hanging onto every word Wayne Bruce in front of him spouted about Asylum, a company he started on the western seacoast in 1972. He watched him open a file.

“If you mean why am I still with Aqua Dude, I decided to give up the fairer sex long ago. Tried it in my teen years. Didn’t work.”

“What about the whole frog thing?”

This made Bullfrog think about Frog Rock they passed on the way to Wayne’s villa here. “I guess it was something that just had to be.” He’d thrown away marriage to Miss Parr to become Green. He returned home to the Motherland.


“Missed you Sonny.”

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He’s also known as Alberta.

“Sorry about not answering the door in a timely manner, gentlemen. My Girl Friday is out today visiting various doctors. Forgot to get a physical when she was hired last week for one thing. And her back was giving her problems.”

“Hmph,” centrally sitting Aqua Dude dismissed the casual talk. “Soo… about the end of superheroes, especially the super one known as Superduper Guy, my arch-nemesis.”

The Mann wondered why a superhero would have another superhero as such instead of a declared villian like the Joker or the Penguin (for instance), but didn’t speak this aloud. Instead: “We have good reason to think that Batty Man and his wonder boy Superduper Guy will not be returning from inside the polar circle, Antarctica in their case. The Penguin set up something there called a Back Room in modern culture. Many many rooms and corridors leading nowhere. And malignant entities found within.”

“Popsicles?” said Aqua Dude to this, puzzling The Mann. “Popsicle people I mean?”

“I’m… not sure.”

Aqua Dude turned to partner/lover Bullfrog. “You remember don’t you Bully? The popsicle people, the one with sticks for legs and ice for heads?”

Bullfrog recalled something along those lines and said so.

“Amazon (Room), yes. The heads kept them cool in the jungle and the legs allowed them to step over the snakes and spiders more easily and safely.”

All became silent. The Mann realized they were waiting for him. “Yes, we have the various Bat Cave instruments downstairs that tell us they’re still in Antarctica, still in that Back Room hypothetically. Else that or dead.”

“Either way: good.” Aqua Dude again, in a voice not of a child but a grown-up, despite the size.

“The Manor is most likely mine to claim then, you see. I entered Wayne’s villa and became a Waynesvillian, with all the others, my Girl Friday, my wife Parasol, Albert the butler, acting as proxies.” Where *was* Albert, The Mann suddenly thought, as if waking from a dream. Was he in the Bat Cave? Did he also go to Antarctica with his boss and sidekick? Must – find – Albert.

“Yes, sire?”

“Jeez! Uh hmm. You scared the bejeebers out of me, er, Albert.” Mindreader! The Mann thought. *Now* he recalls. Minderaser as well! Did a number on him when he came to the door for the first time. The superheroes’ last card to play.

Then they all drank tea and The Mann forgot who Albert was again. As soon as he left his sight.

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