Category Archives: Missouri

“There’s the main part of Bigfoot, at the head of the swamp and the water inlet. Then there’s a secondary part across the swamp’s inlet. I originally saw that as the place of the main toy happening, Hucka D. But now I think it will be around the spool table.

“All the washers, bolts and nuts on it come from the football stadium stands. Then the smooth white rocks [on the spool table] were found on the track surrounding the football field. I think I just need to take more pictures of Bigfoot. Hold on…

“Then there’s the head of the iron golf club, to match the iron club already present in Bigfoot when I discovered it about a month and a half ago. 2 irons. Abundance of iron. Middle Game (ironing).

“I think all those sports balls are important, Hucka D.

“What else do I have so far? An old fire extinguisher, with basin and nozzle separated. 2 long pieces of fence wire, which I took to the, let’s see, the Green Road and stretched them out. Perhaps I could put washers on them, and nuts. Then I have several other chairs that are just the metal base. Then an old stadium bleacher bench. What I’ll get tomorrow: all that stuff at the baseball field I had to leave on Saturday. More of those tall metal thingies from the stadium.

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Bigfoot originally named Irontown or Ironton or just Iron (or Irons?) because of the, ahem, iron. Taum and Mina Sauk were the first settlers, arriving in 1994. Taum was always complaining that Mina was constantly running her mouth, where artsy ideas cascaded out of her Brian Head brain.

Truth was, Mina might have been in love with Brian Head; always thought Taum too tall for his breeches (but Taum was Brian Head?). The second family to move into the area was named Johnson, who were shut-ins.

The Taum Sauks (conscious) and the Johnsons (unconscious) divided Iron (or Irons) evenly down the middle, as Jesuschrist “Red Line” Superstar’s black family arrived in town. The town was renamed Middle Game after an adjustment period. In 1998 Middle Game became Bigfoot following the completion of an extensive survey of Bigfeet Swamp, and to cover up, well, the middle. The Center.

The Taum Sauks and the Johnsons agreed to purge The Center out of the town’s  Holey (Play)book, making it at least partially unholey and leaving only wood shots and putting greens. They did this to withhold information from the masses about a black man currently attending Middle Game High School we’ve already mentioned, who later became Bigfoot’s first sheriff. But the masses were also The Johnsons?

The mysterious Head of Brian or Brian Head is nearby, where a playwright (Julius Cesar) wrote plays exclusively for Kirk Douglas, who also lived in the area as crazed method actor/painter Vincente “Red Line” Manilla, who must have been the same as JCSS, or perhaps took his identity. Little Liza Manilla might have been a childhood friend, whom he shared vanilla ice cream with at times on the condition that they didn’t talk about Judy. Boss Queue Brick could have been lurking as well, kicking around small white stones with round dented heel.

Kirk Douglas talks about going to high school with Jesus.

A square little fellow.

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