Category Archives: Novels

open for business

To her amazing relief, Lying Widow got out of that hole. Well, Colonel Flagstaff, aka Frozen Meat Waffle’s lead singer Kob Curtain — overriding the powers of Axis — let her out. He needed her help in gathering more human victims from The Waste and sending them his way. For the lyrics of their 2nd, more successful album “Human Flesh Zone” (hit single “Smells like Steve”, etc.) were based on reality. During the recording sessions at a haunted hotel, Kob and the other members of the band developed a taste for homo sapien. Fine young cannibals they were.

——

“Oh, is it me?” Murmuring offscreen. “Sorry.”

—–

“Let’s see, I’ll take that one over here and… that one over there for today. Good work Lying Widow. Now just throw them in the hole and I’ll have Ingor (drummer) pick them up later.

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Filed under **VIRTUAL SL, 0012, 0304, Rose Heaven-, The Waste+

here’s the deal

“These fries smell a little off, Patrick.”

“Whadda you expect for free food, Zoidboro,” spoke the human across him more wisely than usual. He turns in his seat and peers at the stage. “When’s the band start here?”

“Oh, they’ll kick us hobos out long before the music begins, Pat. These are top dollar seats here!”

“Oh.” He then looks to his left. “So the Doc and his lady friends are just the first to arrive, huh.”

“Of course. Frozen Meat Waffles. A very popular band in Eotia Village, perhaps the most popular. We bought that ‘Human Flesh Zone’ CD back when we first arrived. Remember? Now I wish I had that money for some food, clothes, anything.”

“We can sell it.”

Zoidboro waves off Patrick’s again wise suggestion. “Ahh, I actually listened to it a couple of times while you were out on your walks. Knew you wouldn’t be interested. But it’s used goods now.”

“Still…”

“Nah. 5 (dollars) at best for a half dozen times played CD.”

“That’s a fresh Big Mike.” He glances down at the stale hamburger in front of him. “And a sloshie and some proper fries. This is the place to do it.”

Zoidboro wonders along with us, the readers, how Patrick suddenly became so wise. Then he realized: pregnancy. Coming to term. He was basically thinking for two now. And the baby must be smarter than he. Interesting. *I’m* smarter than he. More proof? He must induce that dream of Nevermore again. Or was it Nevermind?

The first band member to arrive sasheys through the front door.

By golly it’s Colonel Flagstaff. In a new disguise. Well, the same disguise we last saw him using over on the Omega continent, but in a quite different setting. And peddling a quite different commodity this time.

He approaches the pair in the booth; speaks in his cool, grunge voice.

“Used CD? Sell? I’ll buy it from you for a dream.”

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Filed under **VIRTUAL SL, 0012, 0303, End of Time+

expansion

In Jethro’s dream, the peak of Bauerbridge had rejoined the rest of the Mountain Lake summits to celebrate the return of Timmy, reunited with his war torn family at last.

In a related story, Trojan-Durexian War vet Sam Bee lounges at a Fruity Island public beach, wondering if this is finally the year he’ll be able to return to the land of the living.

Friend Duncan says they’ve found a door — not yet opened, though. Sam knows voodoo; he can remedy that.

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Filed under **VIRTUAL SL, 0012, 0302, Fruity Islands, Mountain Lake

isolated

They had finished their meals and were eating dessert by sunset. Hardly a word had been passed between the husband and wife all the time. Finally, after several spoonfuls of gelatin instant pudding: “Who’s in the cave with Mabel and Tessa, Herbert?” No immediate answer from her husband, so April Mae ventured some guesses. “Could it be… Jethro? Bauer?”

Monsieur Gold set his spoon down rather noisily on the table with this. No, not *Jethro*… *Bauer,* he thought, but also admitted to himself that he was blocked in that direction.

“I didn’t mean…”

“I know what you meant.”

They ate in silence for a spell again. Then: “I’m going to the cemetery tomorrow,” spoke April Mae. “I haven’t been in almost 3 weeks.”

“Suit yourself,” came the quick followup. “Make sure you fill the narrow boat-plane with gas before bringing it back.” He dare not request the other thing in his mind; that she *please* *please* be careful with it this time and don’t run into that God cursed dune again, which just happens to be jutting up in the middle of God awful nowhere for some reason. Away from the rest of the Omega continent peaks.

—–

“I think I’ll take the gardener with me this time.”

“Why don’t you do that.”

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Filed under **VIRTUAL SL, 0012, 0301, Mountain Lake, Purden/Snowlands

continuation

“Rest assured, Petunia,” spoke Hidi the Witch by her side. “You are not a possession like Sammie; you are *you*. This is a cat’s tale in the end, after all. Not a dog’s.”

“Butt…”

“No ‘butt’s’,” retorted the witch. “Just watch… and learn.”

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Filed under **VIRTUAL SL, 0012, 0218, Rose Heaven-

Cherry on top

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cherry_Island_(Loch_Ness)

Cherry Island (Scottish Gaelic: Eilean Muireach, meaning Murdoch’s Island) is the only island in Loch Ness, Highland, Scotland, and is an example of a crannog.[1] The island is about 150 yards (140 m) from the shore near the southern end of the loch. The island was originally 160 feet (49 m) by 168 feet (51 m) across, but is now smaller as the level of the loch was raised when it became part of the Caledonian Canal.[1] The increase in the level of the loch caused a smaller natural island nearby, Eilean Nan Con[2] (also known in its Anglicised form of “Dog Island”), to be totally submerged.

A castle stood on the island during the 15th century; this was constructed of stone and oak wood and was probably used as a fortified refuge. It has been suggested that Eilean Muireach may have been a hunting lodge, with Eilean Nan Con the home for the hunting dogs.[1]

“*Now* is the time, Sidechick.”

“Okay.”

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Filed under **VIRTUAL SL, 0012, 0217, Middletown, Rose Heaven-

“Read: Murdock”

“Ahh Mr. Murdochh. I havve finally found youu! Show me yourr inner circle, please. I’ve havve come such a verry loong way.” Ruby Fantasie was careful to pronounce another command line the right way. “Read: Orchard City.” The lid lifted.

“Touchéé! *Yourr* Avenuue has beeen topped by a Cherrry, huhh. Aaa (she points), Eee (she points again), Ccc (yet again). Cherrry Avenue inn toto. Not Murdochh anny loonger.”

She looks further. “Butt whatt is thiis Fff Ggg Hhh Iii near the miiddle? Do I neeed to loook furrther?” She clicks.

“Ii doo! I am insiide the insiide now. Lett’s talk. But I mustt adjuust my lang-uagge to the localls.”

—–

So Ruby Fantasie made a fine day of it chatting with aliens Ingleboort and Flaarph and their human counterparts George and Harriet. She learned much about the history of Cherry Avenue, Lime Street and sandwiched-between Linden (or Lynden) Creek, which is probably the same thing as Our Second Lyfe. That’s where they came from — emerged from. That’s the bit still shrouded in mystery, as they say. Mistery.

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Filed under **VIRTUAL SL, 0012, 0216, Middletown

Apricot?

This is where I will make my home for a while, thought Duncan Avocado. No, he reconsidered. Not a home — a *base*.

Actually — this and perhaps one other spot. Another island.

Now let’s see where we are on the map.

To that other location…

—–

More the other spot, he thinks after arriving. But this place is crucial too.

Start of a gorge. *His* gorgeous gorge. This was where he was reborn, after all. In Paradise.

—–

But then (he reconsidered again)… I like many of the Fruity Islands, some nearby here…

… some not so much.

I will make *all* of them a kind of base. Fruity Islands as a whole.

I still like it here.


Another fruity location, and probably directly related.

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Filed under **VIRTUAL SL, 0012, 0215, Fruity Islands

Storisende

John Cage had come to feel
That art in our time
Was far less important
Than our daily lives

~ “Tiger the Lion” by The Tragically Hip

“So here we are. At the appropriately named Ebonshire. This is as far as you’ve ever gone Monsieur Gold. You are almost ready to transition. See over there?” Parasol indicates across the water to her left. “End of the tale. Tiger. Are you ready?”

But then Monsieur Gold was gone, in a flash. From the other direction, several deer look on, thinking her crazy for talking to herself.

—–

Just later, Parasol goes to confer with the Monster of the Sea about the next step.

—–

“Thank you my friend.”

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Filed under **VIRTUAL SL, 0012, 0214, Canada/Picturetown, Rose Heaven-

Fantasie

She continued to puff on her Havana while talking.

“Wee found another dooor out, Duncan, Baker Bloch and Ii. Stiill shut… but sooon.” She puffed again. “You are stiill happy here in the Fruit Loopy Islands, noo?” She stares but no answer. “I seee that you arre. You just continue what you’rre doing and doon’t mind mee. Play as iif I’m not heere, hehe.” She stared some more, then looked behind her through the palms, though the location in her mind was far, out of sight even with the longest draw distance. “Biig Island, eh? Stiill much to exploore. Snaaakes (pause) Manateees (pause) Liooons. (pause) I’ve even heard there are tiigers on the neighborring island with thee temples. Tiigers, Duncan. Tales of thee..”

“And mee in the ceentre. I was *theere.*”

“I plan to goo to Rosehaaven and shaake things uup a bit.” Puff. “Thaat’s my deestiny.” Emit smoke.

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Filed under **VIRTUAL SL, 0012, 0213, Canada/Picturetown, Fruity Islands, Google Street View