Category Archives: 01

Black

A new crop of potential recruits has shown up on what they call Umbrella Beach on the western edge of Nautilus’ Crisp Sea, chatting after the delicious, shrimp dominated buffet. Decision time coming up. Whether to step into the shade of the protecting umbrella or go back out into the glare of the harsh, unrelenting sun, all exposed and for everyone around to gawk at in their increasing redness. Red ironically protects against red, they said during the meal, standing up one by one, these past recruits, to give their testimonies of success and life fulfillment through the initiative, the collective. Already, one here was basically under the umbrella, decision made, shackles (of outside life) removed and legs to be retreated back in the shade with the rest, perhaps even before I write this sentence. The purple clad one in the background middle was also about to cave, being a bigger shrimp lover than Lois in white. Sitting down Darla was just ready to go home and be done with it, another one forced here by a prevert relative trying to seduce her to the dark side. “Okay, okay,” she said to her mother Tulipia in a call between meal and beach. “You win. We’ll move to Ohio.” Joy in the Conner household tonight. Uncle Albert would *not* be tagging along, thanks to a restraining order issued by Pinky, Darla’s father, just yesterday.

Speaking of which…

“Medium build, medium height, wearing a black bathing suit. Any idea?”

“Sir you just described about half the girls that walk on this beach.”

“Oh. Thought of something else. She wears a Venus Cage necklace. Very distinctive. I don’t think (smile?) you’d be able to miss it.”

“Just a moment; hold on. I promise not to do anything stupid.” Beach cottage owner and secret “receiver” Claude briefly goes inside and retrieves a box, opens it for the stranger. “You mean like *these*?”

It was full of such. Claude gives them away to every girl lured in by the bosses. He doesn’t tell Albert they’re trackers as well. They know where you are.

“Whatever that picture you’re referring to, every one of those girls up there has sent back the same to their family.” He also doesn’t tell Albert they track even through photos. Powerful amulets indeed.

“Interesting information,” says Albert, the uncle of not one but several girls involved down through the years. He comes from a pretty big family. “Just for that, I’ve decided not to shoot you.”

Relieved look?

“Just kidding! POW POW… POW.”

No wounds. Albert wasn’t kidding. Just a water gun… this time.

“You *fell* for it [delete name],” he said while walking away, already plotting Plan B.

—–

Dripping Claude runs inside, calls the boss who would care the most and explains the hold up. “We have another situation,” he says, knowing the boss would understand. “Heading your way.”

“We’ll take care of it,” the boss says to him in a deep, level voice made for a crinimal. “We’ll send him to the Abyss. With the others.”

“Good deal.” [Delete name], *pheh*.

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Filed under **VIRTUAL SL, 0035, 0105, Crisp Sea, Nautilus, Wild West

different

It was fun testing out boats before settling on the KittyKat one we eventually bought. Like this golden beauty found under an airport in Agrippa — on the Nautiulus continent ta boot. We’re kind of loyalists in that way: Mainland first, then Nautilus even in front of that. We want to stay close to Real Life through the Iowan hypercube, more Roberts’ thing but I get it. She’s explained it to me in layman’s terms.

But this one, whatever the other advantages, didn’t have a functional bathroom. What are you suppose to do, go off the side of the deck? You just dock a little more often, the seller tried to persuade. You’ll get use to it, she added. I don’t think so.

So afterwards we chose to look exclusively at the Bandit series, the ones with the cute little ducks on the shower curtains. All have a functional shower, a functional bathroom. And the KittyKat was well within our price range, being less expensive, for example, than the gold one pictured above, which was more near the top. Whatever disadvantages we have in bedroom animation we’ll make it up with imagination. And, anyway, you have to dock less for bedroom stuff than bathroom stuff. Everyone has to do their no. 1’s and no. 2’s with regularity, several times a day at least, right?

Truthfully, the first time I used their standard Flushmaster 2000 I was sold. Aim free peeing!

And I guess we were joking when we had Roberts tell her she hadn’t seen a man thing since she was 14. We’ll figure it out.

My name is *Franklin* and I approve this message.

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Filed under **VIRTUAL SL, 0035, 0104, Nautilus, NORTH, Upper Austra

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Darn stove. Won’t heat up again. Oh well, they can eat at the cottage now. Hope it’s well stocked.

“Hurry up and brush your teeth, dearest.”

“Arr arr arr Arr arr arr Arr.”

“Have you taken your shower?”

“Arr arr ar — *spit*.  Not yet. Arr arr arr.”

“Well hurry. Landfall should be in any (*hard clunk*) minute.”

She looks around to see if anything has fallen off the walls or appliances in the kitchen. Collision with the island obviously. They’re here, automatic pilot accomplishing its mission.

“Looks like we’re here.”

“No joke. I spit all over my jacket this time. My nice green Columbia.”

“Yeah, why are you wearing that thing indoors anyway? Must be 70 in here.”

“Thin blood obviously.”

“*Green* blood you mean,” replied Roberts to this. “Like everything else about you. Except your cash oddly,” she wondered aloud.

“Yeah, gotta draw the line somewhere. I thought I’d make it the obvious.”

“Well no one else I know has got red money.”

“Coins,” Mabel (Mabel!) replied to this. “I almost always pay in coins, gold and silver, true moolah.”

“You put you on the scale at any random moment in the day and your 25 over, ha. Just go all the way. A girl of Purest Green.”

“You know I can’t do that.” She’d finished cleaning the white off her jacket. “Time for a shower still?” she called over hopefully.

“Only if I can join you, tee hee.” F-ck the stove.

—-

20 minutes later they were staring over at their new home for a week. Martha had left a big pot of beans cooking on the beach. Good ol’ Martha.

“It’s small,” complained Mabel — we’ll still call her Mabel. For the moment.

“It’s cheap,” shot back Roberts.

“And that *thing* at the door.”

“Yeah, ha. I guess you’ve never seen one of those — don’t know what it represents.”

She took the joke in stride. “Oh I’ve dated men.”

“We started dating when we were 14. *When*?”

“Before you, sister. Jim. Yeah, that’s his name.”

“Another made up lover. A man this time. Ridiculous. You’re about as straight as the coins filling your pockets.”

“I paid *cash* for him. The straight stuff. The *green* stuff. Why do you think I’m so loathed to carry it now?”

“Jim, huh.” Roberts was starting to be convinced.

“Yeah. Right before we started dating. I ran from men to women as fast as I could after that encounter. And wasted my money as well.”

“How much?”

“Cash?”

“Yeah. I just want to know. How much would you have paid for *me*?”

“Fifty.”

“Fifty. (pause) That’s all? A male hooker in upscale Wampumtown? What, did you go all the way down to the docks –”

Mabel turned and glared at Roberts with this. Enough was enough, line drawn (again). Docks it is.

(to be continued)

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Filed under **VIRTUAL SL, 0035, 0103, Nautilus, NORTH

00350102

I decided to wed these 2 signs on opposite sides of a court house. Can you tell what they’re about?
filed under: Krazy Kooky Kentucky

WALK TER WEDDING Johnny Cash and ons Johnny Cash not the first cowere married here to cross the staB, one week after in Franklin, Kent stage in Ontario, married fellow couple came to Wright here on in Kentucky they Both couples rdicense and marry until separatedy, whereas their years later. Jcnnessee required Kitty Wells weng period. The Country Mu national news.

CASH CARTHE LINE Country music ic June Carter were and June Carter untry music stars on March 1, 1968te line to marry Cash proposed onucky. Kitty Wells Canada. The musician Johnnie Franklin because October 30, 1937. could purchase a emained married on the same da; by death many home state of Teohnny Cash and a longer waitire inducted into wedding becamesic Hall of Fame.

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Filed under **VIRTUAL SL, 0035, 0102, Kentucky, Tennessee

Roberts to start again…

I think I’ve found what I needed to this morning. An unregistered Nautilus (continent) gallery. Hypercubes.

My opposite Franklin doesn’t quite fit in here yet. Too large. We’re working on it.

(to be continued)

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Filed under **VIRTUAL SL, 0035, 0101, Nautilus, NORTH

center and periphery

Okay what’re we looking at here?

—–

Impossible. She’s *green*(!).

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Filed under **VIRTUAL SL, 0034, 0117, Wendy-Ontario-

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He knew if he stayed low like this he would not be seen. The little trees in this park on the northern edge of Ontario were just too thick for proper viewing above knee level. And that was the point of John and Jem being here: out of sight. John gave Jem the “medicine” that would produce the duck and give her the needed results. Probably only 1 day left; cutting it close. As it had to be. Too risky otherwise. “The duck will lead the way,” he says while handing over the zip lock bag with the blue powder (blue? powder?).

In quiet mode, Newt took a couple snapshots with his built in camera then watched John exit west and Jem south, out of the trees and into the world of man again. Martha’s board spelled it out in no uncertain terms last night. SAVE THE GIRL.

(to be… continued)

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Filed under **VIRTUAL SL, 0034, 0116, Wendy-Ontario-

new to Wendy

If denizens of Wendy can pass through a void sim and visit Ontario directly to the west, then we can assume that the same from Jolie directly east can pass through the 2 intervening void sims to reach Wendy — not much more of a reach, if you see what I’m saying. And so this would be proof. Jolie herself, which translated from French, means “Pretty One”. Another plant being.

We’ll see how that develops. Had to insert here. Destiny.

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Filed under **VIRTUAL SL, 0034, 0115, Wendy-Ontario-

00340114

He was up at 5 AM practicing skateboarding behind the dealership for the big meet with the truck salespeople uptown next week. Actually he was skateboarding mainly on *top* of the dealership, the roof having been designed as such by the owner, anticipating the coming of the duck according to prophecy. At least that’s how John remembered the story. He was certainly getting ideas for a proper plot now. The Wizard had indicated in no uncertain terms that the duck should be the star of the show, and that all dialog should revolve around it. THE DUCK SHOULD SHINE, it spelled out at 3 o’clock, a mere two hours before this. John needed more shut-eye. Maybe he could get away with some later in the morning instead of playing jigsaw games. Duck probably wouldn’t mind. As long as it didn’t distract potential customers from buying cars. Maybe put on some shades to hide the closed eyes, and be careful not to snore — too much.

At 10:00 he admitted he was going to sleep to his new duck friend, and that if he started to fall over just nudge him.

“Up last night, eh? Whatcha doing? Woman?” he asked in his very normal voice for a duck-man.

“No.” How to phrase? John was talking to a Wizard through a wegee board wouldn’t hack it. He had to hide the fact that he was getting his plot from a disembodied spirit and not directly from him. “Okay, yeah,” he decided to say.

“Great! Great, what’s her name?” John thought of Ruth down at the plaza, which he visited every day while she sold her coffee. At least until the duck came along and he had more responsibilities. So he went with Ruth.

“Ruth, huh? I know her. I know her well. I know her mother well, and her grandma and her uncles and aunts. Why I bet there’s not a relative alive she has that I’m not on speaking terms with, and you can probably pull all the ones that have died in the last 20 years or so into that. Uncle Taum — known him for years, worked for his step-dad polishing bats for the Varnishtown Vampires — how they got their name. And Aunt Mini sewed all our uniforms and clorinated the water for our drinks. Cousin Lester? Use to be on my paper route and would tip me if I managed to throw the paper directly through the open front door — he always had it open just for my visit. I almost always got tipped, heh heh. And her maw? Why we use to date! In fact, hmmm. No, couldn’t be, couldn’t be.” He studied Ruth’s figure in his mind. “Not enough duck.”

“Ruth?” John decided to deflect. “Did I say Ruth? I meant Mabel, you know over at the *ice cream* stand — got the wrong stand at the plaza.”

“Welll, then we’d *definitely* be in-laws if you two tied the knot. Check out the yellow in her complexion the next time you’re there. Congratulations!”

John gave up the lies; decided to tell his now constant duck companion the truth.

“Listen Herbert.”

“Paul, actually,” he corrected. “Paul Duck,” but he said the whole name unassuredly, like he was starting to wake from a dream, like it was turning into a question instead of being the answer.

“Paul, then. You know why you’re here… around me all the time?”

“Yeah, sure sure. I’m your character come to life. You just write down what I say and then your plot is, um, realized. Won’t take too long, bud.” He leans over and pats John on his large, tanned back. “5 years, 10 years. I won’t be in your way. I’m pulling my weight — selling cars and all. “Let’s say 5. Yeah, 5 it is.” He holds out his duck hand for John to shake for the deal. John doesn’t. He knew it wasn’t going to work as soon as he spotted the anthropomorphic being in that grocery cart outside Winnies.

Then suddenly he was gone, the effects of the designer drugs wearing off. John quickly called up Martha to make another appointment tonight for more clarification. *He* was the used car salesman. He only wished he could sleep on the job, pheh (although he still partially did).

He better get to work and sell some cars today lest his boss suspects.

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Filed under **VIRTUAL SL, 0034, 0114, Wendy-Ontario-

00340113

Turns out the duck had as many varied talents as his new master, including the ability to wheel and deal at a rapid pace. He quickly garnered the job of chief salesperson at the local car dealership. John, attached to him by the ankle and neck and some other places, had to tag along. He mainly played jigsaw puzzles on his phone while the other worked. A few hours each night, he was free to roam the streets of town and explore while the other slept. This is when he secretly rendezvoused with Martha and had a chat with the Wizard through that wegee board of hers. W-I-Z-A-R-D it began, announcing the spirit.

Meanwhile, over in Jeogeot Wheeler is surrounded by rainbow colored butterflies.

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Filed under **VIRTUAL SL, 0034, 0113, Jeogeot, Midlands, Wendy-Ontario-