Tag Archives: Fink Humann^*++$

00450212

“I came into the small town on the Jeogeot continent as a plane, soon to be a dog again. I could pick up on my driver’s thoughts since we were, you know, kind of one and all flying in. Her name was Rose. Or Emily. Both at once somehow.” His brain hurt again. Princess Pinky Gumm and Fink and he had been at it for one hour. The grilling, the grilling! The ol’ dog can’t take much more, I sense.

“You said 5 years, Jack. You said you’d been with her for 5 years. That accounts for *1/2* of what we need. We’ll get to you, Fink, soon.” Here she points to the teenage human sitting beside the orange, human child sized dog in her castle in the center of everything.

“Yeah, she bought me on a lark then. Or so her thoughts told me. I personally don’t remember it, huh. Soon as I entered the town.”

“She jumped out the plane when landing.”

“Yeah, *I* landed that plane safely. Not her.”

“Right, okay, but you separated from her. What happened next?”

“Well, Fink walks up. Just out of the blue. Didn’t you Fink? What had it been? 5 years?”

Aha! thinks the princess, hearing that amount of time again. “I guess,” answers the teenage human about the same, trying to remember. Hard. Wasn’t quite working yet. Good Jack went first, he thinks. He scratches his head again.

“Yeah, Fink was with me, by my side just like old times. Then we spotted the Candy Shoppe on the edge of town. Figured you might be within. Since it was, I don’t know, candy or filled with candy and you’re the ruler of candy and all. I guess.”

“Sooo, where does the castle fit in?”

“*Your* castle?” speaks up Fink, looking straight at her.

*My* castle? thinks the princess, staring straight back. Jack’s time to scratch again.

(to be continued)

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00450211 (middle)

“I’m going to have to land here and refuel at this halfway point buddy, in that I’m going to have to eat something! Sugar’s great but the energy runs out quick! Hey?!” he says, not hearing anything from the rear. “You all right back there?! Still with me I hope,” he said more under his breath, remembering the loop-de-loop they had to do to get away from the Vortex Monsters at Mt. Granny on the eastern side of the continent, this Nautilus that also was part of a hypercube of some dimension, some dimension indeed. But the hypercube shape was also the way Princess Pinky Gumm knew where they were all along. Just travel in any direction to 1/2way where you want to be and there you are.

“Yeah. I’m still here.” Fink was a little dizzy but otherwise fine from the adventure so far. “Warm and cozy curled up inside your big doggy belly, ho ho.”

“Yeah, but it’s time to let you go. HUUU WAAAAA!”

“Another really gross moment, Jack! YUCK,” says Fink, now expelled behind the plane and watching Jack shrink back to his regular size and shape before him. He shakes himself dry of the intestinal juice — he *hopes* it’s just intestinal juice — and stands up.

Perfect timing, because just then Princess Pinky Gumm arrives in her gummmobile — er, gummobile. Pink in color obviously, like herself. “Fink, Jack! So it’s *you*.”

“Yeah,” says Jack nonchalantly. “I guess we’ve returned or something.”

“*10* years, fellows. 10… YEARS. Where on God’s pink Earth have you been?”

“Umm,” says Fink, scratching his head.

“Err,” says Jack, scratching somewhere else.

(to be continued)

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00450210 (end)

“Warning warning. Destructive couple on the way from the west south north east central.”

Gotta get that internal compass fixed sometime, thinks Princess Pinky Gumm. But she knew it really didn’t matter. Here. “Okay, great candy sentry!” she shouts up. ” You continue to keep watch on the, er, *castle* while I try to meet them 1/2way!”

“No meeting those hell bent on destruction 1/2way,” booms down the sentry. “I sense… the death of candy. Split in two.” And here candy sentry splits himself in two for a brief moment to illustrate his point.

Princess Pinky didn’t explain that by 1/2 way she meant space not negotiating tactics. Candy sentry was rather simple that way. Fixed on things in a rather one dimensional manner. But the death of candy? What was going on here?

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00450209 (beginning)

“Welp. We’re here Jack. But I don’t see any signs of Princess Pinky Gumm.”

“Me neither,” answers the talking, upright dog, famous in almost all circles of children and most adult ones now along with his travelling partner. “But I suuure could use some of that candy inside there, he he.” And he proceeds to stretch out from his standing position to lick the big lollipop on the shop’s top, then complains that it needs more sugar. *Lots* more sugar.

“Ho ho,” laughs Fink his teenage human companion, supposedly the last of his kind. But we know better. “Get this, Jack. It’s a lollipop on top of a shop. So a lollishop, hu hu.”

“Or a lolli shop pop top where I hop to satisfy my chop.”

“Eh,” judges Fink. “I like mine better.”

“Me too,” Jack quickly agrees and then stretches out even more and swallows the whole shop in one huge gulp. “Yup, there’s candy inside! And, stand back, here comes the rest!”

—–

“Hey! Thanks a lot buddy!”

“Oh. Sorry, jeez,” says the now returned to normal sized Jack. “Forgot the powers of the BLEEEHH when I’m big, ha ha.”

“He he,” goes Fink, who’s quite all right despite being apparently crushed.

“But I saved the best for last.” And Jack produced the remaining half of the shop’s candy from beneath his tongue and extended it toward his human bro.

(to be continued)

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