Category Archives: 02

September 24, 2023 · 9:31 am

Tin to (alchemy)

He was back in the apartment after work was over, staring at Ginger cooking again. Or was it Wanda? — so bad on names. Cow outfit was still on. Ginger or Wanda or whoever wouldn’t be helping him with an actual name either, then.

“How was work today?” Dare she call him dear?

“Okay. Had an interesting lunch break.” He didn’t stop staring, was riveted on the black and white.

“Oh? What happened?” Another egg flipped over. Expertly he noticed. She’d been doing this for some time.

“I went to a psychic,” he imagined himself saying, then changed it when spoken out loud to, “I went to a physician. I’ve been meaning to go for some time.”

“Physician? Doctor? What’s wrong, dear?” There. She said it. She must… no, she can’t go there yet. The love part. A term of endearment is not a declaration of love.

What to say? Ankle? Knee? Yes, the knee. “Oh it’s my knee, the one I pulled when I got stuck on that stick in the woods about a week back. ”

“Yes, I recall you telling me that. But you said you were okay.”

“I thought it was time to check it out. Never happened before (like that).”

“What did the doctor say?”

“Oh, he said I was okay and to stay out of the deep woods for a while. With a smile of course.”

“Can you do that?”

“I… don’t know. Anyway, um, I was just wondering…”

“Yes?” Now a flapjack, expertly poured before and now deftly flipped, tanned just right on the first side.

“Where did you learn to cook?” He was looking for a magic location and he got one.

“Well, I’ve always cooked because of my Mama,” the implication being that someone had to do it in the household. “And then I did it professionally for a while for that rock band who came along back in the 70s. Just came up to the door and asked me to do it.”

“Ozark Mountain something.” Bingo, he thought. He recalled his three, and also a 4th to go along with the rest. Red green blue… but don’t forget the yellow. Gold. Inside the ship now. Harvested.

(to be continued)

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September 24, 2023 · 8:39 am

00400204

“Aw come on Golden. You know I don’t have any money. I can barely afford to buy this espresso from you.”

“25,” she insisted before taking another sip.

“Damnation.” He reached into his pocket, pulled out the required money, handed it to her from across the table. He needed information, and badly!

“Good. Now let’s go inside. Did you bring a personal recorder?”

“Well… *no*.”

“Then we’ll have to use mine. I have an hour tape. That will have to be long enough.”

“Well great, since I have to be back at the salt mine in about that time.” He checks his watch. “Exactly that time as it turns out.”

“Nice. We are in sync. Can you feel it?”

—–

“Interesting. So the cards seem to be going only so far. We have a location called Big Sandy with lots of sun. Let’s do a deeper reading now with the crystal ball.” She manifests one on the table, blue-green as Earth. And it was, a microcosmic version. She could see actions anywhere on the globe.

“Yes, sand sand everywhere. Miring sand. *Trapping* sand. Did you bring your shovel?” She delved deeper. “Never mind. The spirits see you did. And you’re digging, digging your way out of the shit with a golden shovel. Has to be gold. And gold digs out gold. Can you see? Never mind, the spirits understand that you see.”

And he did. He envisioned a bug… no, a car shaped like a bug. Golden in the light. Storm approaching from the northeast which is somehow the same as the west, he knew. A big ship out at sea. Sea ship but also space ship. Lots of people on board. It was three… three… He lost it.

Golden was staring at him instead of the globe. Tell me what you saw… apprentice.”

(to be continued)

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September 23, 2023 · 10:33 am

00400203

“Breakfast looks great, dear. I’m *starving*.”

“Did you hear something outside?”

—–

“Oh, I’m so *full* now. Thanks for cooking again. I swear, I’ll start to chip in on that department very very soon. It’s just that…”

“That what…?”

“I feel like if I pick up a spatula I’ll never put it down. Did you have that feeling? The first time you picked one up or made breakfast for the first time? It’s a strange feeling but one I feel is true.”

“Umm.”

“Never mind. I know it’s a silly thought. And me and you just getting to know each other better. You don’t need to know all this *weird* stuff about me. Just that I’m cute.”

“Adorable!” she said on the couch by his side, and even gave his nose a tweak to reinforce this. Starts right there — tip of the nose; front of the face. Where truth begins.

He decides to address the elephant in the room. Or at least the cow. “H-how long…?”

“Till I remember,” she said about the suit she had on, guessing what he was going to ask. It was inevitable.

—–

Despite the appearance, this is not Marsha “Pink” Krakow. This is the mayor’s daughter. The cow suit makes her forget not remember. She had forgotten that very core fact about its existence. Eddie saw to that. Along with the mayor of this here Meat City, the first woman elected to the office. So many men wanted to keep women down in this primary Omega continent burg, known for its straight city blocks and shady dealings, crooked in every other way. The mayor was going to change all that. And her daughter had to be out of the way for her to do so. Thus the apartment in Broadwater, thus the distraction of opening a strip mall in a neighboring sim the same week of the rental. “See?” she can tell the worriers, the doubters. “She was just on TV that week. She’s *fine*. She runs off now and then.” The cow suit was an heirloom from her mother’s father’s brother’s sister’s aunt-uncle, a cross-dresser of sorts. “Put it on and you’ll turn invisible,” he said to his niece back in 1905 when he revealed the thing for what it was. He didn’t say that the invisible part involved the mind and not the body. They’ll never find her here. As long as she doesn’t know who she is.

Back to the couch…

“Don’t worry, Ginger. No one is watching us. I have all the bases covered, like in a classic Cincinnati Reds game, a victory of course. I’ll keep you safe at home.”

“No sin in Cincinnati, I get it.” But she didn’t smile. There were eyes out there. Brown ones, she sensed.

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September 22, 2023 · 10:25 am

Meat City blues

“I can’t get that girl out of my mind, Other Edward. It reminds me of that one up in, where was it, Broadchurch.”

“Broadwater?” corrected Other Edward, wishing the other Other Edward would chip in and at least dry the dishes he was washing. One f-ing plate at a time, since they dare not go to the store and buy a dishwasher. Might be spotted.

“Yeah, that’s it. Without the pigtails this time of course, but…”

“I saw it too,” admitted Other Edward, who was actually the only Edward here despite the name playing. He: Edward. Him: Eddie. And a change in the last name as well to help disguise. Edward Daigle and Eddie D’Aigle, then. Or “D’Aigle, Eddie” as he also jokingly liked to call himself now and then.

“Welll? Could it be?”

“Impossible,” waved off Edward at the sink. Tough stain on this one; he’ll have to cool it with the curry, he reminds himself. If it’s doing this to the dishes imagine what it’s doing to the inner piping. Bloody mess in there, he supposes, given all those kind of meals he’s woofed down over the years. “I saw her in the news just the other week,” he continued. “Mayor was opening a new strip mall in Kuradov.”

“I bet he was,” quipped Eddie, taking a sip of his coffee and contemplating what to say next. He’d gotten the sex wrong but he’d made his point. “We have to get an old photo somewhere — remove the pigtails; just to be sure.”

“We burned them all,” reminded Edward. “Evidence.”

“Right right.” Eddie hung his head. “I can’t even remember her name now, Edward. But you know I’m bad on names. That’s why, heh, I just call you Other Edward all the time.”

“I know you’re not,” replies his cousin who was now disguised as a lover, as in gay partner. They even had to kiss in public the other day for demonstration. His own cousin (!). And then that other time… but he doesn’t even like to think about it. “It’s Wanda.”

“Wanda, yeah. What kind of car did she drive?”

“I think she just took the mayor’s car most places. Of course, that’s what got us caught in the first place — why we’re on the lam *now*. Two gay lovers instead of two gay cousins. I mean, two *cousins*. No gay.”

“No, since we fell for the same gal and went to that place in Broadchurch [sic] and, right, she left the car outside and then the police chief drove by and then wondered why the mayor was in such a seedy spot in town, *seedier*, and went inside to check. Caught!”

“Like rats,” Edward at the sink reiterated. “The mayor’s daughter.” He scrubbed harder, as if trying to erase the memory from his brain. No go. He had a better one than Eddie. He recalled *everything*.

(to be continued)

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September 21, 2023 · 8:40 am

00400201

“Say’s here in the paper there’s a 2 fer 1 special on Amazon products down at the mall. We better go snag us some more exotic rain forest flowers, boys!”

“Here here,” they said kind of jointly, kind of as one. How to differentiate?

“Stew dogs’ ready!” called the one at the grill. That was Eddie, then (00330201). Different from Edward, like D’Aigle is different from Daigle. And *that* is her chosen boyfriend. Edward was just here for the hand off, the negotiation or price. No, let’s say he’s a cousin just come for a visit. Or maybe an old lover pretending to be a cousin if Edward and Eddie are or were gay. Where did it all get started?

When it stopped; Marsha’s VW bug that is. Stuck in the sand — should have traded yellow vehicles with neighbor Mrs. Ordinary (aka Bethany, Ginger) while she had the chance. Drifts were often high on the edges of Big Sandy where beige spills over into green. Like today, a windier one thanks to the northeaster coming into shore from the west, from the direction of the USS Galaxy, duplicated both in sea and in space. Just came back from a journey to the Pleiades, which I believe is a star constellation formation (thanks Dolores!).

Eddie was grilling then as well, watched her spin her tires trying to get out of a predicament. Stew dogs done, he put down the spatula and walked over to help.

(to be continued)

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July 22, 2023 · 2:29 am

dancing

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July 21, 2023 · 4:45 pm

dominance; knowing one’s place

This will be our spot Edward. Always sun in the middle of the day despite the highways overhead, and you can make it so any time of course. Waves crashing directly behind. I can lock Arthur away in the cage of my mind here. We play games but still we are together. Agreed?” Pause. The waves rose again.

“I said: agreed?!”

“O-*kay*, just don’t punch me again, jeez.”

“Good. Now let’s go down the beach and talk to some surfers.”

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July 21, 2023 · 7:33 am

00390215

He was wore out from surfing so he decided to re-energize a bit. Banana should do it. “Just one?” asked Gloria to the request, now working at Hana Lei. “All I need,” he replied in his nasal, boy-ish voice. With his small frame he could make it go far. No need to over-weigh himself. “Help yourself, then,” she said, indicating the bowl full of fruit beside him. “Thanks.”

“Couldn’t help noticing your moves out there me laddie,” said the anthropomorphic turtle beside him, deciding between apples. Ah heck, he thinks, an orange will do, and orders one from Gloria. “No no no, changed my mind, ” he then said as Gloria indicated the bowl again. “I’ll have what he’s having.” “Same place,” she said, hand still extended toward the bowl. “I… don’t want to run you out of them. No, I’ll take an orange.” She turned with this, tired of dealing with him. It was like this every day for the experienced surfer. So good on the waves, so bad on the food. Maybe his ability to choose well runs out when he sits back down here, she rationalized at one point. Thus the reason for the bowl in the first place, actually. He helps himself.

After the selection (orange, no banana, no *apple*; but which one?), he returns his attention to the boy and the spotted talent. “Lessons?” he queries between bites… of something. I believe I detect crunching so probably one of those apples.

“You mean, have I *taken* lessons? In surfing?”

“Yeah. You have talent. If it’s natural then more power to you.” Say my name, he thought. Just say my name.

“Nah, no lessons.” Another noiseless bite from the lad. “I think lessons would just… *ruin* it for me.”

“The talent,” the turtle replied.

“Yeah.” More peeling and another bite. “I learned that quite a ways back. Wrote a treatise and my, um, mentor marked it all up with red. Top to bottom, mind you. Then she changed hair color from red to blue and it all went away, all the corrections. ‘Perfect already,’ she said, scooting the suddenly unmarked manuscript back to me from across the table. So I’m a natural at things — that’s what she said.” Special, he added to himself. Special special.

“Newton’s the name,” the turtle-man said, and extended his apple-less hand to the kid, who shook it. “Newton Jasper, like the liquor. Except backwards.”

“Jasper… Newton?”

Bingo, he thought, and changed directions, facing out to the sea again. His true home — this was just a stop between dives. “Some call me Jack,” he said. “Friends call me Jack. Tell you what, you call me Jack from now on. Eh?”

“Jack,” the yellow *rapscallion* amended, also turning. He’d been here before. And, there, he was starting to glow again. Just looking at them continue to roll in.

“You thinking what I’m thinking?” the turtle said, noticing too.

“Sure am!” And they were both at it again, remainder of the fruits tossed aside during the running from land to water.

“Cowabunga!” the turtle shouted as he jumped on his board.”

“Hey, don’t eat my shorts!” the likewise surfing boy responded to this. And so it continues…

(to be continued)

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July 21, 2023 · 6:26 am

wrong righted?

They were deep in the portal and Edward was her chosen beau, if by default. No more Arthur, but for a good reason. Shelley packs her ring away and decides to dance again, but Eddie went too far per usual and it got him into trouble. Between crests of a wave, this can happen.

But the dancing then continues. Endlessly, thanks to this place.

“Cowabunga!” I suppose.

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July 19, 2023 · 4:01 pm

HEAD

She was back at the very beginning, brushing her teeth in the middle of Hooktip, staring into umbrella eyes, all knowing even at that early stage. She had all the books in the world in ’em. Now to test it out on the rest of the world… starting with Edward here. Edward Daigle. But that was different — not Dimmy (Tommy), the actual person she started dating at that time. A choice was made on the ottoman below. She could ask him to stand up and move, or keep him there. On that spot. 135/135/135. Highest on *The* Diagonal, and she didn’t believe there was another one of those except as echo. And she should know, being ruler of it all.

“Mind if I brush?” she said just before. But not hair. That was different too.

In slow motion she prepared to spit.

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