knoll and hole

The Musician woke up Wheeler the next day to the tune of “Seven Nation Army” by the White Stripes, played on a gothic violin purchased in a VHC City music store several days back. He’d been saving up for months. And he’s already dubbed the steep hillock he plays upon in the above picture Fiddler’s Knoll, a natural perch for such creativity. As fine as the musician is playing, and as interesting a song as he’s covering, Wheeler still awakens upset. She had no water to bathe with the night before. All the scrounging around the various corners of their compound — nay, their *prison* — had produced basically nothing of interest. And they were unable to scale the walls to see what was outside. No flying here as well. Trapped. But today was another day and perhaps Morris would return and give them more information.

Wheeler yawns and stretches her arms as she exits the caravan. The Musician halts his playing and looks down on her. “Past 10 now,” he explained. “Waited long enough to practice.” He then begins another song, which he introduces with the title and composer. “‘My Sweet Lord’; George Harrison,” he says, and immediately leaps into it.

Wheeler walks over and sits on one of the logs at the still brightly burning fire in the compound’s center. “This place stinks,” she says.

The Musician halts his playing again. “What’s that dear?”

“I said, this place *stinks*! Did you hear that?”

Sensing the mood, he gives up trying to practice for now and rather stumbles down the knob’s slope while cradling the violin in his arms, meeting Wheeler at the fire. “I don’t think it’s too bad,” he says, sitting down on a log beside her own. “I have my knoll now, my practice perch. I’m pretty happy here.”

Wheeler simmers a second before responding. “No… I meant this place *smells*… smells bad. And what’s that beside the fire? Looks like a bit of colored shoe.”

Just then a hole opens up in the cliff wall opposite the direction of their caravan with only a slight, brief rumble. Morris emerges.

“Ahh, I actually found you here. Good you’re up. I hope you slept well, or as well as possible. I heard there was trouble locating water.” He then stood unusually close to the fire, shuffling and kicking his feet around on the ground in front of it. Again, Wheeler and The Musician missed the hints.

“No water, yeah,” Wheeler said. “Tougher for a girl.” She glared over at The Musician, who moved his violin to the opposite side.

“Well, no fear in that now. I found a portal to the outside. It was those darn foxes all along. One for each of us. I’ll go first, just to make sure it’s safe and it works again. Give me above 5 minutes before heading in yourself.” He moves around the fire and leaves just as quickly as he came, exiting through the hole again.

Wheeler only waits about 30 seconds tops and then bounded off the log and toward the opening. “Come on Musician,” she beckons with a wave. “I want to see what he’s up to if we can.”

Inside they found the cutest little things possible.

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there and here

“The sky looks like Mars,” Wheeler opined. “I think this is Mars.”

“No,” countered Morris, who had been explaining what his home was for about half an hour now. “This is truly the legendary Muff-Bermingham planet you’ve heard so much about. Muff-Bermingham may have been a *conduit* to Mars, I’ll admit. I don’t have your experience in that realm. I only showed up day before yesterday. I’m a newbie, as they say down here. Or up here.”

“What’s that was over there?” The Musician asked, indicating with a head tilt the projecting spires of a structure beyond the rimming brown rock cliffs of this habitat.

“That’s something in the works, let’s say. Things are a bit plasticine here still — melting plastic.” Morris took a deep, satisfying breath through his nostrils. Wheeler and The Musician had suspected nothing in that direction; just thought it was a different planet smell of some sort. “I have few land resources to work with,” he continued, staring into the fire. “Already, the SoSo gallery had to be stolen from Collagesity below us to create an effect I desired. *We* desired.”

“Who’s ‘we’?” Wheeler asked.

“I think his name is Lou.” Morris paused, uncrossing his legs. “Or her. Anyway, we’re still working on that as well. I do know that one is red and one is green. Stop and go. Like Muff and Bermingham. I’m sorry Osborne Well couldn’t show up in person to greet you as well but… land resources again. Collagesity may have to make additional sacrifices. But at least your Spongeberg the Destroyer has been put to bay. Is that the expression I’m looking for?”

“If you mean that Spongeberg didn’t effect the destruction of Collagesity between (the two halves of this novel) you seem to be correct,” Wheeler offers. “Instead of VHC City we are here, in Collagesity but not in Collagesity. Like the legendary Moon and its own (Moon of) Moon.”

“Like Mars,” The Musician says to Wheeler. “You’ve told me quite a lot about it. Sounds fascinating.”

“I’m projecting you’ll learn to love Muff-Bermingham just as much,” Morris pipes up. “This is just a foothold, a start. In several hours spotless day will return into splochy night. I will leave you to your own devices now to explore, gather, prepare.”

With this he simply fades from view in front of them.

—–

Back in VHC City, Mary/Chuckles ungrasps Pitch’s cold white hand extended across the table and stares into the dark corner of the room behind him.

“Um, your Timmy Osborne Well is fading out again, my love,” she states with only mild surprise. “It’s as if he’s trying to reach somewhere else, maybe a place he can become lively again. Wonder where?”

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Dike van Dyck

“I think we’re ready.”

“Check.”

—–

The Musician woke up with a hot head. I don’t mean he woke up angry. His head was *hot* ow ow!! He jumped up from the bed and screamed downward. “What the f—!?!?”

Wheeler rolled over on her couch at the far end of the caravan and took in the spectacle. Smoke was billowing up from the floor at the upper corner of The Musician’s hobo mattress, right where his head is usually positioned. Outside through the door: fire itself. This place where they had been “living” for several days appeared not to be in the secret Muff-Bermingham Room of VHC City any longer. And they weren’t clowns — and with no other clowns passed out from the night before strewn about the place as per usual. The smell of scorched plastic was in the air.

Wheeler and The Musician stood together. “Something is different,” he says as the pain in his forehead begins to subside.

“Du-uh.”

Just beyond their view from the inside, Morris waits paitently for them to come out and discover his presence. “Boy these clowns sure burn good,” he exclaims while watching the fire grow even brighter. “12 prims saved right there.”

Welcome to Muff-Bermingham, Musician and Wheeler.

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Unbloched

“Green hand light, Musician. Timmy’s side is in control.

No stopping now.”

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upsidaisy

It appeared in VHC City’s underground Muff-Bermingham station on the second to last day of May 2017. The four stars strung above the entrance — red, green, blue, yellow — were a dead giveaway to who dwelt inside. It could only be Spongeberg the Destroyer, similarly bedecked with the same four colored stars. But where was he? The caravan appeared empty.

But suddenly Wheeler was there, walking out the entrance in the most outrageous clown costume yet. Was that Spongeberg attached to her body??

No, it wasn’t. Should we send another avatar over to get the story? Baker Bloch is a logical choice. Maybe The Musician. But, no, here comes The Musician out of the caravan on the heels of Wheeler. He has a clown costume on as well — not quite as extreme as Wheeler’s, but pretty full frontal still. Noises inside. Appears there’s actually a party going on now where before was dead silence. At least 4 clowns within by my counting. One manifests at the door. “Hey Musician, where you going? Your turn to dance.”

The Musician moves closer to Wheeler, saying just above a whisper, “I don’t want to do that.” He’d seen the others. He’d seen *Wheeler*. He didn’t know how she did what she did.

“No choice, Musician,” returns Wheeler in a loud whisper herself, out of earshot of Johnson. “We’ve gone this far. You dance, you’re in the group. Spiffy, Jumbo, Percolator, Stingray, Johnson, and us. This will make my cover complete. You’re here with me now. Allen Martin has gone to a better plane. Go ahead and dance for the guys and gal. All you have to do is be goofy as hell and you’ll be fine. Nothing *serious*.”

“I’m not exactly sure how to do that,” admits The Musician. He was a serious artist. No comedy in his act.

“Think about what you usually do when you dance and do the exact opposite,” suggests Wheeler. “Pretend that there’s an anti-Musician, one who isn’t serious at all. A clown, a buffoon. He’s a walking laugh elicitor. He can’t walk down the street but for people doubling over all around him, rolling on their sides even. Laughs and guffaws, Musician, when they see you. I know you can do it.” She brushes aside his projecting green hair and gives him a kiss on the cheek. “The key is not to think at all,” she says, holding his arm. “Just let go. Let *everything* go. Let the other side take control.”

She grasps his shoulders and turns him around to face the caravan and Johnson. Then she gives him a swift kick up the rear, making the clown at the door clap his hands with glee. He meets the reeling Musician halfway and escorts him up the steps. “Bozo coming through,” Johnson yelps as they enter the caravan to an eruption of cheers.

Wheeler stays outside and listens, letting it soak in. The four stars above the door disappear as the event reaches a tipping point. “Spongeberg has no power here now,” she says to herself. “We move forward.”


Tipping point.

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Munsters

“Show me the map,” requests Hucka Doobie to Baker Bloch.

—–

“Yes. Christiansted. Surrounded by monsters. These could represent the 4 true Munsters: Grandpa, Eddie, Herman, and Lily. Grandpa is Grandpa obviously. Fangs could be Eddie, who also has them. Or Lily even. Then Herman is Herman. And Munster could be Lily or Eddie, once more. What is the name of the ordinary Munster, the one who doesn’t count?”

“Marion,” guesses Baker incorrectly.

“Marion. So Timmy Duncan, greatest power forward in NBA history, was born and raised in this Christiansted capital city.”

“Correct, Hucka Doobie.”

“When Hurricane Marion destroyed the island’s only Olympic-sized swimming pool in 1989, Duncan was forced to swim in the ocean, where he quickly lost enthusiasm for the sport because of his fear of monster attacks — sharks in this case. He turned to basketball, which was destiny, fate. He went through a conversion.”

“Yeah. But I’m checking on the phone now, Hucka Doobie. The hurricane’s name was Hugo. Marion came 6 years afterwards, a somewhat milder affair. But, in looking closer, that hurricane’s name was Marilyn. So Marilyn must be the ordinary Munster. The perimeter which is the center of it all. Duncan was already a star at Wake Forest by then.”

“A star is born. Let’s go back to SoSo now and study further. I just wanted to see what you had set up in this secret Muff-Bermingham station.”

—–

“This collage 17 of 2007’s Oblong series depicts a later Duncan, after he won his first championship as the somewhat lesser of the twin towers formed by himself and fellow future hall of famer David Robinson. And this is where your personal WBA ends and the general NBA continues. Zircon Zappers Tom Casey and Robert Jones were the parallels to this twin tower situation in San Antonio.”

“Yes, I’m almost positive of that, Hucka Doobie. Duncan later excels beyond Robinson. I didn’t have that.”

“(Collage 17) is another great 3-n-1. And where we also ended an Oblong analysis from, what was it, way back in 2008? LINK”

“I don’t know, Hucka. Pretty long time ago,” Baker Bloch agreed.

“Three (Lake District) tarns. Three choices. River Derwent originating in Seathwaite Fell — SF — reaching Derwent Water through the finger-ish delta was a goal. Fox Tarn rock blocked, with Crazy Clown Head removed. But maybe Angle Tarn aligned with Duncan instead of Robinson succeeds, not the one in Langstrath but in Patterdale. But maybe they are also one. Tarn at Leaves. This (work remains) confusing.”

“But the clincher that this has to do with Muff-Bermingham, Hucka Doobie, is the presence of Herman Munster in the very next Oblong collage. 18. Two from the end now.

That Munster perfectly fills a gap between two mirrored images.”

“The beginning of Stonethwaite from Greenup,” Hucka Doobie adds. “You must return.”

—–


Uroborous = Munster?

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Conversion

“He is his own grandpa,” succinctly explains Mary/Chuckles.

“How did that come about?” asks a nonplussed Pitch Darkly. He’d seen and heard about everything in his extended life.

“A concert. A bat thrown onstage. He thought the bat was rubber. He bit its head off, finding out it was a real bat: his own (vampire) grandpa. Their blood comingled. He became his own grandpa.”

Pitch Darkly stared over at the figure in the corner. “Is he alive? I mean, you’re alive and…”

“… mere mesh figure?”

“Well…”

“I don’t know. Why don’t you ask him?”

So Pitch talked to the figure. “Hellooo? Mr. Well? Hell–OOO??” He looked back at Mary/Chuckles. “No good.”

“No. He is mere representation. He can’t do what I’m about to do now.”

Pitch watched as Mary/Chuckles got up and stood beside the window, outfits instantly swapped out.

He turned back to the Osborne Well figure. “Is that his grandpa there he’s holding?”

Mary/Chuckles sat back down at the table with Pitch Darkly, green outfit returned. “No, it’s just a microphone shaped like a bat. He holds a bat just like you use to do. But we should move more into who he is beyond what he is.”

“Okay.”

“Can you guess?” asked Mary/Chuckles.

“Umm. Vampire from the etheric plane. Er, vampire from the Planet of Vampires. Or just a vampire from (an airplane).”

“All three, yes. Another great 3-n-1. Their plane or planet crashed or clashed over there.” Mary/Chuckles pointed behind her toward what Pitch understood as the Catsocks sinkhole he and Buster had visited just yesterday. “A deal was struck with Chelsea: Stay across the tracks from our hotel and attached developing city and we’ll let you do as you wish. Thus the killing shacks. Thus the creation of the multiple fishing holes. Like me, vampires, or at least this particular strain of vampires, love to fish.”

“*You’re* not a vampire?” Pitch Darkly logically asked. “But, no,” he then added more to himself. “I would obviously be able to tell my own kind.”

“Owen Grandpa,” Mary/Chuckles chipped in. “That was his vampire grandpa’s (ironic) name. But Osborne Well didn’t know his grandpa was a vampire until he bit his head off in bat form.”

“Interesting (developing) story. What happened to Osborne, Mary? I mean, since this figure really isn’t him.”

“As a living breathing dichotomy, Well soon became ill and died. So another ironic name, both grandson and grandpa. Other vampires moved in to fill the power void. I wasn’t around but I heard it from my grandma. I speak with her still sometimes.”

“Channeling?” guessed Pitch Darkly.

“No. Phone. She lives over in Farmington.”

A face began to form on top of the Osborne Well figure’s own, glasses intact for now. The facing Mary/Chuckles saw it and then asked Pitch to turn around. From his surprised expression she understood he saw the same. “The Protector,” she explained, face locked in. “Monsters all around.”

Well’s glasses faded as well, making Pitch Darkly revert back to Baker Bloch. “I know that face.”

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Virgin territory

“Thank you for showing me this, Baker Bloch. I’m grateful.”

“You’re preparing for a big role shift, Wheeler. You deserve to know about Muff-Bermingham at this point.”

“And the corresponding pictures on this other wall? Is that me in the center?”

“Kind of,” responds Baker. “The title says ‘Chuckles’. Obviously our fisherwoman friend across the tracks.” Baker Bloch checks his watch. “Speaking of which…”

—–

“Mary. You’re real name is Mary. Not Delbert, not Wanda.”

Mary meekly nods.

“Now tell me all about this Osborne Well.”

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not clowning around 02

Pitch Darkly continued the formalities. “Nice of you to cease your fishing and come for a visit, Chuckles.” He was thinking she cleans up nicely.

“Please. Call me Delbert. No: Wanda.”

“Alright, Wanda. What brings you here this fine morning? And if you’re wondering, by chance, I’m not a vampire chained to a night and day cycle. I’m *weaker* during the day — certainly don’t do any large killings at this time — but I’m perfectly okay otherwise. I avoid direct exposure to the sun for long periods obviously.”

“Understandable.”

“Wheeler said there was news about the Novas.”

“There is. The, ahem, *immoral* person Tronesisia brought to your and Buster Damm’s Kill Shack the other day…”

“Fisher,” inserted Pitch Darkly. “But not a fisherman. I don’t think. Just a name. Yes, he was immoral and thus worthy of sacrifice as determined by the Book of Blood. The chess game was indeed rigged. His former slavebot Bendy has been freed to go back to his proper place in the skies.”

“Anyway,” Wanda/Chuckles continued, “turns out he was also someone else at the same time: Clare.”

“Clare?” Pitch asked. He pretended like he didn’t know who this was.

“Clare Nova,” Wanda clarified. And not an alt. A rebis. Like you and Baker Bloch. Something to do with the clowning disease.”

“Oh, Clare *Nova*. What does this imply?”

“Fisher is dead,” spoke Wanda, wondering how long it would take Pitch to get it. “And Clare Nova is Fisher…” she urged. “So what does that mean?” Pitch Darkly shrugged.

But he knew what it meant. Wheeler had just gone from understudy to star.

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Blue Angel

“The Musician said he wanted us to check this place out, Hucka Doobie. Oh wait, he’s started.”

Look at me
Who am I supposed to be?
Who am I supposed to be?
Look at me
What am I supposed to be?
What am I supposed to be?
Look at me
Oh my love, oh my love

Here I am
What am I supposed to do?….

“I’m not sure I like it as good as News and Views for a hangout,” whispered the bee-person to Baker Bloch while The Musician continued his crooning. “Nice song, though. Who is it?”

“Who else?”

—–

Buster opened his lid to listen better. “Damn. What’s all that racket up there? Wednesday afternoon already?”

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