Tag Archives: Bob Waffleburg

hole

They were watching “Abbott and Costello Meet Frankenstein” on the tellie tonight, a logical choice. At a predictable chase scene through a haunted castle, Merry Gouldbusk leans over and tells Herbert Dune that she got in contact with her brother about the banners. Herbert Dune arches his spiraling eyebrow a little higher, Spock style. “Welll?” he replied, thinking she needs to speak up for the microphones. But, overall, her acting was acceptable lately. She’d been taking lessons from one of the best. She’d learned a lot since Rosehaven. Except for the occasional name slippages she was fine. But just that: acceptable. Ordinary, even. Oh Alice Frame, Sandy Beech thought, how’d I get chained down with you. I am like a clipped Icarus.

“He said he had nothing to do with it,” answered Merry Gouldbusk, speaking up a bit at the encouragement of Bob Waffleburg off-camera.

“How,” stumbled Herbert Dune, then started again. “How is that *possible*?”

“*Daddy*,” Satan’s spawn Melvin complained from the pillow beside them, totally immersed in the castle shoot.

“Tell you what, young demon. You’ve stayed up too long past your bedtime already. Time to join your brethren upstairs. We’ll continue the movie tomorrow night.”

“Awww,” he exclaimed not too loud while obediently getting up and stretching and yawning. For a little demon, he was quite well behaved. They all were. Except Spunky of course.

—–

“Annnd. ACTION!”

“So explain what you said before.”

“About the banners?”

“Of course.” Stop ad libbing, Sandy Beech thought bitterly inside. Stick to the script!

“Welll…”

“Wellll?” Herbert Dune echoed back.

“He said he didn’t do it.”

—–

Sandy Beech complained to director Bob Waffleburg afterwards. “Jeez, it’s right there on the banner. *INGO*. How could her slightly older brother, her *Big Brother* after all, not be head of the police state here and spy on her all the time? Answer me that genius director.” Before, Eraserhead Man and his disjointed plots. Now, Bob Waffleburg’s logic gaffes. And he’s not a surrealist. No excuse for him!

“We’re… working on it,” is all he could answer that moment. Later, while the two were drinking at Spunky’s on Southside (no relation to Spunky the little demon), he let slip a little more. “It involves rats. *hiccup* And a secret room. *BURRP*”

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4th (Wall)

It was the piece de resistance of the move. A celebratory endpoint. The return of the Shape Pullers from Merry Gouldbusk’s past. Now she could enjoy them at any time, 12:37 or not. “Thank you *so* much, Sandy Beech!” she said while cameras were rolling and leaning over for a kiss. It was not reciprocated.

“And CUT! Okay, *kill* the shapepullers, kill the lights. Benny, you were looking away from the camera. And Horace, you weren’t even in the shoot! Get your little red keister out on the balcony and take a gander with brother Marvin at what’s happening outside, why don’t you! Oh, you little devils!” Director Bob Waffleburg kept complaining. “But *you*, my fine friend Alice Frame (playing Merry Gouldbusk/Breeze). You’re going to *have* to learn the difference between a role name and an actor name!”

Sandy Beech, the actor playing Herbert Dune, just nodded his head and stared over at her. With bile.

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