Tag Archives: Robot Derak Jones^*

centerpoint

Young Ruby looked far and wide for her missing friend Shirley Boot, starting with Yd Bay on the far side of New Island, hoping to hell she didn’t find another bobbing head there like she did before with Trashy the Clown’s (she didn’t).

Another place to visit was Faux Aunt Annie and Karl’s Gloomy Gus on the west coast. Now the last couple of times we checked in — well, actually throughout this *whole* novel, looking back — it seems that Annie was in a heap of trouble with all these pills and incessant dancing and, um, the other thing. And she was! But the death of Trashy the Clown, although extremely difficult to get over at first, was a blessing in disguise. She cleaned up, with aid from loving beau Karl — locked up in the Gloomy Gus for going on two weeks. She emerged exhausted and dehydrated and still a little nauseous, but ready to move forward into the future without drugs and the other, attached things. Karl was her focus now, her beacon of light. So we have a happy ending to that part of our story, and an important one it is. But no luck for Ruby this day — no sign of Shirley there.

Mrs. Fogg and Ms. Frame, now moved in together for mutual protection, food, and liberty, hadn’t seen her either. That basically took care of the whole northwest section of the island, so active these two women were with their sailing and beach running and frequent picnics to the top of Mt. Sondra where they had a commanding view of that part of New Island.

Blue Jay Wade was dead, and his former chum turned complete psychopath Big Red Butler remained incarcerated at the Gaston-Berry jail, at least for this week. But neighbor Zettie Lamont the zebra-ass, similar to Fogg and Frame, had a pretty good view of the lower western part of the island from his perch atop Pimushe Isle. He relayed to the disappointed Ruby that he hadn’t seen the young girl either.

How about one of the houseboats or yachts at the Diamond Sailing Club? Possibility, but since Lisa the Vegetarian Smipson left for Corsica, she has no contacts there.

No one lived at Artist Point in the southeast section of the island. The east was dominated by Mid Hazel’s compound of buildings. Ruby felt that if Shirley had somehow gotten stuck over there she was doomed anyway. Lost to a powerful witch.

Which left center: Mabel’s house (Mabel and roommates Fisher and Bendy had seen nothing), Eraserhead Man and his Rabbit Hole house (nada again), and Robot Derak Jones (who said, check with Eraserhead Man, which she’d just done). Hmm, she thought, standing in the middle of central Route 9 dividing the island almost cleanly in two. She looked down at the buildings: Elephant Club, Axis’ Castle, Flossie’s, a new place beside Bumpy’s Ice Cream Village. “*Wait*,” she suddenly exclaimed. “The Village! I could ask Lavern Glam. She has eyes everywhere.”

So we head back to the ice cream truck, the sole component of this so-called village. Use to be bigger in the day, as they say. But Mr. Glam sold part of his original land to the Elephant Club, who turned it into their western parking lot, and then part to Oranga Black who built the Arcade in back. He downsized from a double wide trailer with indoor seating to the small truck we’ve already seen in that last post, whose cab also doubled as his daughter’s bedroom for a while. She didn’t mind: she felt she remained in the center of it all that way.

Ruby approached the truck. “You’re not Lavern Glam.”

“Yet *you* remain oh-so-red Ruby Roo,” spoke the alien behind the counter. “Exactly 15 1/2 today, this minute, this, um, second actually. Your anti-birthday.”

The island blew up around them. To those on the outside, those who survived, they describe the sound it made as close if not the same as middle C on a piano. Queer, huh? Too queer? We’ll see…

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absorption

“I should be finished with journal 9 in 2 weeks or less, Robert Drake Johns. Then we will reassess the situation.”

“That’s great, Older Mabel,” spoke the tall, lime green robot seated beside her. His voice was nasal compared to most mechanoids of his type — Mabel designed him this way to appear slightly comical to her and help lighten the mood sometimes. Because the mood was dire in many instances. The Wastelands held nothing back.

“I’m wondering when The Monster will return,” started RDJ again. “Sally lives on the edge of the Deep Dunes but hasn’t seen or smelled anything in 2 weeks or more. The Axis powers may have won the war, but they haven’t been especially active conquerors… let us do what we please, when we please.”

“Oh they’re around.” She scribbles quickly once more. “Right now I’m seeing a narrow boat, mired deep in the high sands. Two children — no, a child and a man, actually an older man. Then another, observing man. No, sorry again, a woman but with many eyes, some which could be masculine. Actors and Observers again, Robert Drake Johns.”

“I miss my cousin,” said RDJ out of the blue. “I miss Cardboard. The character and not the substance, although that has disappeared too. All metal and rust now; little plastic as well.”

“And parchment,” added Mabel brightly. “Thank Gods for parchment.”

“And Ink!”

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Roses Pencilvania

“A SPHEROID BEING, Robot! Just in front of Ruby’s BLUE ROSE Dune! TOP SECRET STUFF, right Robot?!”

“I guess so,” his mechanical friend and neighbor replies. “It *was*.”

“Like LAURA from ‘The Return’! Like BILL!”

An awkward pause ensued. Robot Derak Jones was hesitant to correct Eraserhead Man played by the great David Lynch on the name of perhaps his most infamous creation. Eventually one of the cameramen spoke up.

“BOB!!” Eraserhead Man then echoed around a good majority of central New Island. “How could I FORGET THAT?!  Played by the LATE GREAT FRANK SILVA! THANK YOU, JIM!” he shouted toward the cameraman. He then faced Robot again. “I’m now going to TURN UP MY HEARING AID so we can SPEAK IN PRIVATE!”

“All right.”

“REMEMBER,” he said before adjusting the dial, “speak at a WHISPER from now on!”


Sidenote: Eraserhead Man’s new palm trees seen in the background.

—–

“But that Eraserhead Man was halfway wrong about the situation. The sphere being lies *between* the two dunes, one red and the other blue. Both roses of course. We need to talk with whoever lives in that high castle in the background. He or she could have seen what happened.”

“Well…” says Annie to her faux niece Ruby. “*He’s* right behind you.” Ruby whirls. Axis waves innocently from the table.

—–

“If only we could hear what they’re talking about right now.”

“Hold on,” Axis then offers. “I’ll rewind it and then turn up the sound.”

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Troll Cave 02

The Bakers stare at Eraserhead Man while he rants. “It’s ‘HOW’S ANNIE?’ for PETE’S sake! And I MADE my successful ‘Return’! No more ‘WORST ENDING LINE IN TELEVISION HISTORY’ talk for ME!”

The Bakers then turn to his riding companion to the dinner, Robot Derak Jones, and stare. “I said I’m *sorry* I forgot to remind him to bring his hearing aid!”

“LEMONADE?! NO THANKS!”

—–

After the party, The Bakers clean up and discuss amongst themselves a more proper ending to “Collagesity 2018 Early”.

“Annie should be in the dunes,” offers Baker Blinker. “Just wandering around at night, lonely after Karl had, er, been forgotten. Do we know what happened to Karl?”

Baker Bloch talked while continuing to scrub omlet stains out of a pan. “I think (he scrubs some more), I think Tropp took his place in the Bluebird Cuddle Van. True Opp, I meant there.”

“The more realistic and human version of the Mmmmmm Opp, yes. The one that came out the pipe on the far side…”

“Anyway, that’s what I’ve got.”

“Seems kind of vague,” opines the female Baker. “How would we go about bringing Karl back, if it could be done? I *love* playing that role, after all.”

Baker Bloch finally manages to remove the last egg stain from the pan; hands it to Baker Blinker for drying. “Let’s go outside and sit and discuss it more.”

—–

“Sun’s setting again, Other Baker. Days are so short here. What is it? 3 hours of day, then an hour of night?”

“Think so.”

“So short,” he repeats. “*Could* we get use to that?”

Baker Blinker takes in the implication. “You’re saying we should just *move* here? Aren’t you? That’s how Karl can live on. That’s how New Island and the rest can continue onward forever and ever.”

“We have this cave, after all. Seems pretty empty overall. Vacated, I mean; owners aren’t around much. We can prepare and cook meals, then clean. We can continue to have parties with Robot Derak Jones, Eraserhead Man, and the rest. Given time, we’re sure to figure out a way to bring Karl back.”

“Write out Tropp,” states Baker Blinker, shifting her weight in the Sunlounger. “Write out Madam Mexico or whatever you’re calling her. Get rid of New Eden altogether. It’s just New Island and The End. Ellen and his assistant Sidechick don’t have to be right about *everything*.”

“Let’s take a walk. Let’s go down to the bridge and turn around.”

—–

“It seems like ages ago when I first crossed this bridge in the Spookmobile, Other Baker. But it was only a little over a year ago. I didn’t remember how I got here to New Island afterwards. The Spookmobile turned into a Love Bug. I guess you were back in Collagesity when all this happened. I turned into Mabel, got out of the car and then sat back in as myself so I could reach the pedals — and I was already trapped.”

“Mid-Hazel,” Baker Blinker responds.

Baker Bloch sighs. “I don’t even like to say her name. Wheeler was *so* wrong* to get in cahoots with her.”

“That’s why we need to blow it up.”

Baker Bloch’s face expressed confusion. “The *bridge*?”

“Ummm…”

—–

But then they made the mistaken of wandering even further — under the bridge and south into the abandoned art colony in the dead of night. Safer Barnaby Point here, but then a couple of steps beyond: Artist Point proper. Someone or something followed them. Baker Blinker’s facelight soon winked out, a tell tale sign.

It was just Baker Blinker, Baker Bloch, and that person or thing alone in there. Forever and ever?

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red blue

I distinctly remember that conifer tree right there, Robot Derak Jones thinks while reviewing the appearance of (The Monster) night before last in his mind. Appearing and then fading away, like a noisy apparition. Never could find the source. Well today, he declares, I’m going to work a little harder at it, probe a little deeper.

His friend and neighbor Eraserhead Man suggested keeping his mind focused and looking for something red. “That’s what Gus remarked about the subject when I asked him,” EM said to RDJ yesterday evening after riding down on his John Deere tractor for another visit. At the exact moment he mentioned this, RDJ was looking at a flaming red maple tree framed against the night sky across the island sands, but thought this was just chance.

Opp has been missing a month now from his side. Annie and Karl, after the former painted the latter as what was obviously some kind of representation or stand in for the blue lad, left Pencil’s place last week to assume residency on the other side of the island. That’s when (The Monster) showed up. That, in fact, is when Pencil tossed his coffee into the fire at his home to produce Gus for the first time. Gus seems bound and determined to find that (Monster). I wonder why?

RDJ decides to check out the small house beside the tree.

“Oh. Sorry neighbor! Didn’t know anyone was here.”

“T’is alright,” the large, bathing man with a red beard spoke through the opening. “I’m a nudist anyway. No shame in a person finding another person naked. Thus the open door!”

—–

Red beard, Robot Derak Jones thought later while relaxing with Eraserhead Man on the sandy beach in front of his home and staring toward the same house. “Gus said to look for something red, right?” he asked of his friend.

“Right. And to keep your mind focused. If you do both you’ll probably succeed. Seems to always work for me.”

And then he saw it again.

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next

“A move!” Magus Ellen exclaims upon teleporting into Iris and seeing his opponent’s Knight to King’s Bishop 4. “She’s just moving to move, but that’s okay.” He takes a thick lick. “This should be another easy one for me. Time for a castle.”

—–

“Holey moley Pencil. What is *that*?”

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like a rose 02

“Ahh. A nice hot coffee before a nice hot fire. Doesn’t get any better than this in Our Second Lyfe, Robot Derak Jones. But take a seat.”

“I’m glad you found your hearing aid and stopped yelling, Pencil.” He remained standing. His hemorrhoids were acting up again.

“Me too! I mean: me too.”

“You are truly David now.”

“Well,” adds Eraserhead Man. “I’m a giant pencil pretending to be David Lynch for the purposes of this story. Novel 8 is it?”

“That’s right, EM.”

“Kids couldn’t stay around a while longer? I kind of miss them since they left, what was it, this afternoon?”

“It was a sudden departure,” agrees Robot Derak Jones in his metallic, echoed tone. “They found a house on the other side of the island. Baker Blinker had it in her inventory. That’s the core avatar for Karl.”

“I know who Baker Blinker is,” declares Eraserhead Man. He sips his coffee, then smacks his lips pleasingly. “I understand they found out that Karl is blue. Blue Rose Case, of course.”

“That’s why you’re here.”

—–

“Well… let’s see what *this* does.” Eraserhead Man abruptly throws the contents of his cup into the fire. Both watch as someone else forms in the room.

“Look at that, Robot. A demon. How about that? A flamey little fire demon. What’s your name, little fellow?”

“Gus,” came a small answer from the fireplace after a pause.

Eraserhead Man turned to his friend Robot Derak Jones. “Gus, he said, Robot.”

An erratic wind began to blow outside. One might say it was gussing if they had the guts.

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