College president elect Karoz Blogger was disappointed to learn that there is a real life Falmouth College of sorts in Cornwall County, England, and an arts college at that. He’ll make a final decision on the name soon, he promises. But it has to be Falmouth College still, doesn’t it? Maybe he could just call it Fal Mouth College. Still like the sports nickname of the Cussers. But who will they play? Well, they can play Parktown, they can play Chilbo. Michael Bolton is the new head coach over there, I’ve heard. He ordered new playbooks from a local company but they sent leather bound copies of Phil Donahue transcripts from the 1990’s instead. No, wait, Billy Ray Cyrus is the new Chilbo coach; Michael is the assistant coach. Well, if Karoz wants to participate in this football season he better hurry up and start the college and get his team together. Another possible opponent is the Billville No Neckers.
But what about the curriculum development? What will his college *teach* the young, virtual kids of today’s generation? “Moss” is all he has now. Football and Moss. “Com’on,” urges Patty Pepper Mint from beyond the door. Because Karoz has locked himself into his small office in House Orange to plan for the future. “I can’t think with all the trains going by and kids ordering their food and drinks and books,” he complains. Patty Pepper Mint comes from a large family of complainers over in the green Nari hills. Billy Ray Cyrus is her 1st Cousin. Some say they were even married at one time and had several children. She doesn’t like to talk about those days, but, on the other hand, Patty is obviously excited about the prospect of playing Chilbo. Karoz reinforces that she check in on him each and every hour, 24 hours a day. Home life and playing with cousins can wait, he jokes. She doesn’t laugh. Karoz knows the secret. Michael Bolton is not [just] another 1st cousin but the husband of Billy Ray. Michael Bolton stole his heart away from her. She’s *jealous*. Spongebob Squarepants and husband Patrick Star plan to attend all the Fal Mouth College home games (*there* — made a decision on the name!).
Another opponent: Rooster Springs Backwoods Institute (where you’re in the middle, which unfortunately is in the way).
Karoz needs to identify a league. He contacts B.R. Cyrus. Michael Bolton puts down a Donahue script and answers the phone. They identify together some common opponents. “Parktown, yeah,” Bolton spouts. “I hate Parktown and their sewers and dirigibles, so hoiti toitti. They’re all addicted to sex and gambling over there. Do they have a high school?” Karoz was shocked. He didn’t realize Chilbo was a *high school* team. There was no college in Chilbo, nor in Parktown. Yes, he found out Parktown has a high school. And Nari, for that matter: the old Crow’s Foot building serves as a place for 6 to 8 young adults to gather together each fall and spring for learning lessons. Patty Pepper Mint, of course, knows all of them. They’re immediate family each and every one. “Well, we cannot have a football team without other colleges to play. Can we play high schools?” “Up to you,” Patty returns. “There’s *got* to be other colleges in the area. How about the Sheldonopolis Fighting Sheldons?” “Funny,” Patty answers. “But, yes, we can play them.” “Maybe I should just scrap the football idea this year and focus on the curriculum and getting the school started.” Patty said the obvious. “You think?”
Sunklands 