Daily Archives: January 9, 2016

Reality

No it was not a dream or an hallucination. Furry Karl had really left town with his cousin Crash to fish on the coast. The ancient Mr. Low was still in the pool outside the bar, staring with those horrible eyes at every passerby. *The Master* had made his evil lair up there in Collagesity Heights — Baker Blinker was practically his slave (again) already. It was all leading up to this, both this blog and the old Baker Blinker Blog. Those Ancients had taken over the air, the water. Soon all land would surely follow.

Luckily Baker Bloch had been studying the center of the tetraptych again on the main floor of the Red Umbrella. That vortex he stares at below strongly reminded him of a picture from the blog his user, me, inserted concerning “Uncle Meatwad” about a week ago now.

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Here’s the post he’s thinking back to, and the picture:

https://bakerbloch.com/2015/12/30/uncle-meatwad-too/

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He goes over to look at his double to the right in the tetraptych. Same size… exactly it seemed. It was as if he could sit in the same position and actually enter the reality of the collage, which was a streetview of Middletown, USA, the wife and I’s future home, most likely. Future reality, then.

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Baker goes over to the gallery’s teleporter. The same swirl, the same type of vortex.

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Through it he visits each of the 5 legitimate galleries in Collagesity. Below he teleports out of the Power Tower.

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What he gets out of this zigzag of visits is that each gallery has that map of Jasper County, Illinois in it, with different towns and villages highlighted. Jasper must be the vortex, he realized! Jasper and Newton together, somehow activating the whole thing. The taijitu again. Karl would like that.

He returns to the Red Umbrella after the tour, and the central vortex. Something had happened in the meantime. Something had been activated. It was the 5 part visit, drawing a complete pentagram. Now he was on a higher octave. Now he was buzzing like a bee again. Angelic.

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The vortex was growing…

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… and then took him in.

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—–

Baker Blinker was again in charge of my virtual family. She had no choice but to step into the open void as black hole begat black hole.

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Baker Blinker emails the rest of the town about Baker Bloch’s disappearance, and the takeover by Ancients. She had much freedom work to do ahead of her. But first, The Master needs more popcorn.

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Crash

“He’ll take over Collagesity Heights. He’ll watch “Uncle Meatwad” over and over until he’s sick…”

Hucka D.:

From eating the popcorn, yeah. Then he’ll roll over and sleep. Then he’ll wake up and start it all over again. *We’ll* have to provide the popcorn and the drinks. He doesn’t like shakes, oddly enough.

bb:

How long can this go on?

Hucka D.:

Until it’s done.

—–

“Karl, you’re an Ancient. You’ve got to help us. You’re the only good (hiccup) only good Ancient I’ve ever known.”

“Yeah, that’s because I have fur. I’ve changed. I’ve adapted to this place. I’m *Furry* Karl now.”

“Great,” responds Baker Bloch.

“Anyhow, I haven’t spoken to those cretans in many ages. I just lived next to the wad of ’em. Sure they came over all the time and I came over to their place. But it was mainly to complain.”

Baker looks down into his 5th drink of the night and thinks about crying. “Hucka D., you know, the blog spirit…”

“Don’t talk about spirits in this place,” Karl reprimands.

“He says we might not be able to get rr-rid of them. It’s their world now. Theirs.” He pointed up to the sky with his free hand.

“I’m going fishing with my cousin Crash down at the coast. I’m washing my furry hands of the whole mess. *You* guys deal with it. They’re not my type any more. There’s Crash now… hey, watch the rod!”

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Baker Bloch looked over at the door of the bar. A pure bred, cartoon looking furry stood there. Karl’s cousin Crash. Trouble is, there were two of him to Baker Bloch, blurring in and out of each other.

“Two”, is all Baker could manage as they left together, rod in hands.

“Goodbye to you too, Baker Bloch,” Karl called back through the door. “And Merry Fucking Easter.”

Hucka D. was looking down on him as his alcohol poisoned head sank to the bar countertop. He actually hovered over him, like an angel. Something had happened that Baker Bloch would never get over. Karl probably wouldn’t return, at least for a long time. Carrcassonnee herself was packing bags. Yes, something had shifted. Unplanned maintenance.

—–

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The next day, Baker Bloch was hung over but not hallucinating any more. The crash was over.

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Or was it?

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Ancients Rising

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(joined in progress)

Carr.:

They’re all coming back, all the Ancients. Isn’t that marvelous?

Baker Blinker:

*No* Carrcassonnee, I don’t think it is.

Carr.:

You are the Original Baker. Ur Baker. B-a-k-u-r. But I will call you sweetie. I call Lisa cutie or hottie at times to cheer her up. Us women must stick together.

Baker Blinker:

You can call me Ms. Blinker.

Baker Bloch:

Or you can just call her Baker Blinker. And me Baker Bloch, Carrcassonnee. Or Ms. Blinker and Mr. Bloch. Just not sweetie, probably.

Baker Blinker:

No. I don’t like that.

Carr.:

I will call you Original Baker. Original Baker? (pause)

Baker Blinker:

Yes?

Carr.:

The Ancient you call Mr. Low, speaking of misters, has come to take Baker Bloch back to the netherworld. The old world. Baker Blinker, sorry, Original Baker. Okay I’ll just call you Baker Blinker, or Baker Too. Anyway, you must keep Mr. Low underwater — sleeping with the fishes.

Baker Bloch:

Why did he manifest in the very spot that Karoz crashed last night? I visited Karoz at his apartment this morning. He’s a bit hung over, but he’s fine. I believe he’s taking target practice now at Poppy Pond, but with his silencer on as you requested.

Carr.:

Yup. Don’t want those things popping right outside my window.

(Karoz walked into the gazebo)

“There’s another one in my pond.”

Baker Bloch:

Poppy?

Karoz:

Yep. (pause) I think he might be dead. He’s floated to the top.

Carrcassonnee:

Did you pop him one?

Karoz.:

No!

Carr.:

You did, though.

Karoz (confessing):

Yeah. I couldn’t tell what he was. He scared me.

Baker Bloch:

We better go look. Excuse us Carrcassonee.

Carr.:

Sure. Bring me back a leg.

Baker Blinker:

Creepy.

—–

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—-

Baker Bloch:

Well, he’s dead, Carrcassonnee. We killed an Ancient. What will we do now?

Carr.:

Wait for the worst and hope for the best. More are coming.

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Meanwhile in eastern Collagesity…

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… the worst of the worst arrives.

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