Daily Archives: October 2, 2022

different

It was fun testing out boats before settling on the KittyKat one we eventually bought. Like this golden beauty found under an airport in Agrippa — on the Nautiulus continent ta boot. We’re kind of loyalists in that way: Mainland first, then Nautilus even in front of that. We want to stay close to Real Life through the Iowan hypercube, more Roberts’ thing but I get it. She’s explained it to me in layman’s terms.

But this one, whatever the other advantages, didn’t have a functional bathroom. What are you suppose to do, go off the side of the deck? You just dock a little more often, the seller tried to persuade. You’ll get use to it, she added. I don’t think so.

So afterwards we chose to look exclusively at the Bandit series, the ones with the cute little ducks on the shower curtains. All have a functional shower, a functional bathroom. And the KittyKat was well within our price range, being less expensive, for example, than the gold one pictured above, which was more near the top. Whatever disadvantages we have in bedroom animation we’ll make it up with imagination. And, anyway, you have to dock less for bedroom stuff than bathroom stuff. Everyone has to do their no. 1’s and no. 2’s with regularity, several times a day at least, right?

Truthfully, the first time I used their standard Flushmaster 2000 I was sold. Aim free peeing!

And I guess we were joking when we said Roberts hadn’t seen a man thing since she was 14. We’ll figure it out.

My name is *Franklin* and I approve this message.

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Darn stove. Won’t heat up again. Oh well, they can eat at the cottage now. Hope it’s well stocked.

“Hurry up and brush your teeth, dearest.”

“Arr arr arr Arr arr arr Arr.”

“Have you taken your shower?”

“Arr arr ar — *spit*.  Not yet. Arr arr arr.”

“Well hurry. Landfall should be in any (*hard clunk*) minute.”

She looks around to see if anything has fallen off the walls or appliances in the kitchen. Collision with the island obviously. They’re here, automatic pilot accomplishing its mission.

“Looks like we’re here.”

“No joke. I spit all over my jacket this time. My nice green Columbia.”

“Yeah, why are you wearing that thing indoors anyway? Must be 70 in here.”

“Thin blood obviously.”

“*Green* blood you mean,” replied Roberts to this. “Like everything else about you. Except your cash oddly,” she wondered aloud.

“Yeah, gotta draw the line somewhere. I thought I’d make it the obvious.”

“Well no one else I know has got red money.”

“Coins,” Mabel (Mabel!) replied to this. “I almost always pay in coins, gold and silver, true moolah.”

“You put you on the scale at any random moment in the day and your 25 over, ha. Just go all the way. A girl of Purest Green.”

“You know I can’t do that.” She’d finished cleaning the white off her jacket. “Time for a shower still?” she called over hopefully.

“Only if I can join you, tee hee.” F-ck the stove.

—-

20 minutes later they were staring over at their new home for a week. Martha had left a big pot of beans cooking on the beach. Good ol’ Martha.

“It’s small,” complained Mabel — we’ll still call her Mabel. For the moment.

“It’s cheap,” shot back Roberts.

“And that *thing* at the door.”

“Yeah, ha. I guess you’ve never seen one of those — don’t know what it represents.”

She took the joke in stride. “Oh I’ve dated men.”

“We started dating when we were 14. *When*?”

“Before you, sister. Jim. Yeah, that’s his name.”

“Another made up lover. A man this time. Ridiculous. You’re about as straight as the coins filling your pockets.”

“I paid *cash* for him. The straight stuff. The *green* stuff. Why do you think I’m so loathed to carry it now?”

“Jim, huh.” Roberts was starting to be convinced.

“Yeah. Right before we started dating. I ran from men to women as fast as I could after that encounter. And wasted my money as well.”

“How much?”

“Cash?”

“Yeah. I just want to know. How much would you have paid for *me*?”

“Fifty.”

“Fifty. (pause) That’s all? A male hooker in upscale Wampumtown? What, did you go all the way down to the docks –”

Mabel turned and glared at Roberts with this. Enough was enough, line drawn (again). Docks it is.

(to be continued)

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