Category Archives: 0507

art of the deal

“How do you like my painting, Mr. Dune. I’m thinking of calling it ‘Life on an Orange.'”

Pathetic, Herbert Dune thinks to himself. “Exquisite,” he says aloud. “Listen, Madame Silver. I see that you’re a very busy and productive young woman.”

Madame Silver giggles outlandishly. “Oooo, young *man*. You flatter me!”

“Thank you. I won’t waste any more of your precious time. I’m here for the complaint about one of our dollhouses. You said a characters within is… stuck?”

Madame Silver talks while continuing to paint. “Yes, um, but why don’t we discuss it over tea. Do you like tea? Hot tea I mean. Cold tea is for barbarians. I hope you’re not a cold tea lover. For the sake of our continued business transactions.”

“You are one of our most loyal customers, Madame Silver. I will be glad to have tea with you if you can take time from your busy schedule.” I *hate* tea, Herbert Dune grumbles to himself again. Cold *or* hot. But I’ll swallow it for the deal.

—–

“Well this is simply *delightful*. I’m glad you like the tea.”

“It is so so delicious, Madame Silver. I haven’t had tea like that in a long time. Perhaps back before I joined the company.”

“How many years have you been there now? Five, six? I’m glad you got your promotion. That way you finally get to meet *me*.”

“I am glad to be in your humble service, Madame Silver. I’ve heard so many good things about you.” He pauses significantly, hoping the old codger will *finally* get to the dollhouse and needed repairs. Of course he’s going to try to sell her a brand new dollhouse… at a significant discount of course. But pushing upgrades instead of expensive repair is standard practice in the business. In any business, really. Those based on pure capitalism and money and greed. And certainly like Doll Pedlars, Inc.

She flattens out her skirt and stands up. “*Well*. I suppose we should get to that dollhouse, eh? Back up the stairs we go!”

—–

“Yes, I think I see the problem, Madame Silver. But it’s a bad one. We’ll have to take the whole dollhouse back to the office for repairs. *Or*… we could sell you an upgrade for a cut rate price. Maybe save you money in the end. Your choice of course. But this looks like a 02350 malfunction of the circuit board. I’d highly recommend the upgrade. I’ll deliver it to you in person, make sure everything works perfectly before leaving.”

“Oooo. Look at that fluffy feather bed up there on the next level, Mr. Dune,” Madame Silver deviates. “I’m sooo sleepy. I could use a nap. Could you also use a nap? We could sleep on opposite sides. Unless…”

Oh. She’s *that* type of old codger, thought Herbert Dune. A cougar codger. Chris withheld that valuable piece of information about the work.

He pauses to consider. He decides to be frank. “Will it help seal the deal?”

“It *might*” She giggles in that grating way again. Herbert Dune makes a note to not say things that might induce it again.

“Alright. But I have to be back at the office by 8.”

“Make it 9.” She giggles once more.

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Filed under **VIRTUAL SL, 0010, 0507, Ruby's Empire/Fishers Island

main

“A clown?” Mary exclaimed upon meeting the Good Rev. Amos T. Sandman yesterday at the Main Church of Cheese over in the Pond District. “No *wonder* you hate the Cult of Oo’d so much!”

“Indeed!” the Reverend exclaimed back. “*Now*. Which of the gateway gods do you choose to worship today?” He shields his mouth with his hand and says in a considerably lower voice: “Say fries, say fries.”

“Um. Fries I suppose.”

“Good choice!” the Reverend said, returned to shouting mode. “Please join Sister Deni Stew Moore at the appropriate side altar.” He waves to his right. “You have 8 minutes, then must yield to another. As you can see, for a Wednesday we have quite the crowd here, and more are filing in — everyone needs a turn. And the fries are a very popular warmup before the main course here at the Main. Enjoy!”

When Mary goes to the side altar to join a woman who’s apparently been totally cheesed (Mary had been warned about such staunch devotees), she found she couldn’t bend her knees in the proper, reverential fashion and merely had to sit upon the provided pose ball.

“Psst. Mary,” the cheese being next to her whispered out of the side of her curdled mouth. “It’s me. Bill.”

“Wheeler?”

She whispered again, more urgently. “Keep it down, keep it down. And address me as Bill from now on. I’m the queen after all.”

“Sure you are, Wheeler… Bill. But what’s this all about?”

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Filed under **VIRTUAL SL, 0009, 0507, Church of Ood, Fries with Cheese, Pond District

couched

In a pot haze, Marion Harding waits patiently for the show to begin. He loves Elvis impersonators. Hucka Doobie tries to join him but finds she can’t.

—–

“Time to pull her out of that sluggish place,” Baker Bloch speaks about Gaston to Baker Blinker from their usual perch at the Perch restaurant. “Function’s basically used up anyway.”

“There’s the couch, still,” counters the female Baker. “Jeffrie Phillips — white star.”

“I can’t even find it tonight it’s so laggy. And I dare not log in Wheeler to help. My computer will crash, I’m sure of it.”

“Sugar house,” Baker Blinker then says. “Sugar’s House.”

“Alright I’ll give it another shot.”

“Give one to Marion as well.”

—–

“She does strike a good pose there,” Baker Bloch says, looking on remotely. “She seems… confident.”

“Put her with Marion. See what happens. Minimize windows as needed.”

—–

“It’s no use, Baker Blinker. Hucka Doobie just appears gray, like she’s in David Bowie’s shiny spacesuit from ‘The Man Who Fell To Earth.'”

“Precisely.”

—–

“Oops. There she is.”

“Have him walk. Have them talk. Plop Marion down in the plastic seat in front of Hucka Doobie. See what goes down.

—–

She’s wondering how much money is in that attache case, Baker Bloch. $50,000 lindens? Enough to get her out of this hazy, laggy place? Could be.”

“But how to strike up a conversation?

—–

“Too late: looks like the show’s starting.

“And that’s *not* Elvis.”

—–

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Filed under **VIRTUAL SL, 0008, 0507, Gaston+, Twin Peaks

another angle

Roger Pine Ridge kept looking at the flickering white glow beneath the water that he knew was Anton. Shoes stolen; mission accomplished. Like finding the ruby slippers of Oz, he thought. Anorexia’s gonna be pissed off as hell.

He looked over at the green robed woman beside him, face harshly illuminated by the glare of the flashlight she held. Scars. “I’m just waiting for the significant other to finish up inside,” he explained from his *self named* chair.. “How about you?”

—–

Cyberpaperdoll walks out of Fae’s Boat House with 50,000 lindens in hand.

“Come on, Biker,” she said just above a whisper toward the closest Pine Ridge chair. “Time to go.”

“Don’t forgot to sign the guestbook out there!” Jim the Pirate Bartender called from within, a request they most definitely ignored while leaving.

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Filed under **VIRTUAL SL, 0007, 0507, Nautilus, Nautilus City

Zebrelus

Must admit this is cool. But where’s the wacky weed?

Nice. Where’s the grass?

“Grass? Any grass here? Well be that way then.”

Ooo. No way around the island or whatever it is from *this* direction. Don’t want my feetsies getting toasted!

“Anybody home?!” Rocky yells after going through a gap to reach the eastern side of the island. “Any grass around?! Any at all?!”

His calls echo around the volcanic mountains. More strange, non-communicating creatures appear.

He walks to the shoreline and looks out across the expanse of water. “Is that mainland?” he asks himself now. One way to find out.

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Filed under **VIRTUAL SL, 0006, 0507, Jeogeot, Middleton

Danny’s Magical Room

“Everybody in town will die now, Danny. They’ll all come here.”

“Cool. Where’s James Dean?”

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Filed under **VIRTUAL SL, 0005, 0507, Bogota, Bogota Proper, collages 2d, Heterocera, Lapara, Morrison

Furtherment

Wheeler Wilson, Buster Damm and Pitch Darkly never really got to the meat of their talk from the day before. The next evening Baker Bloch teleported into what should have been the Crystal Cottage to scout out the area further. The house was no longer there. A tower had taken its place. Was this the real Clare Nova’s doing? Was she reading the Sunklands blog? A quite likely scenario.

At the bottom, an altar.

A child’s fort.

Several varieties of mushrooms.

Baker realizes the proper entrance to the tower is on the other side from him. The structure is in ruins. He circles around, but before ascending the proferred spiral staircase, goes out to the cliff above the railroad to check out these little purple fellas.

He goes back to the tower and starts heading upwards.

Nothing at the top except a single golden cube devoid of name or content. Darkness had come quickly. Was the tower some kind of test?

If so, did I pass it just by creating this post?


Hiding outside the Sphere of Influence.

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Filed under **VIRTUAL SL, 0004, 0507, Heterocera, VHC City

3 to 2 to 1?

Baker Blinker and Baker Bloch were alone now, sitting one table down in the Blue Feather. After her spiel, Hucka Doobie muttered something about heading over to Yeodeol to check on that letter making workshop she first visited almost 7 years ago. By inference, much was learned through the bee being’s One Pink story concerning Mid Hazel’s much more recently affected curse at New Island, and why the Spookmobile is both back in Collagesity and over there still at once. Dimensions remain split. The Bakers’ had a trick up their collective sleeve, however.

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Filed under **VIRTUAL SL, 0003, 0507, Heterocera, New Island, Rubi