Tag Archives: Alberta^*+++!

She arrived here in a boat.

But not that one. That one is just a collection of rocks. Art on Eve Street. By Rust of all people.

—–

When he got the vehicle home, he found he had to get rid of the extra horsepower to fit it into the garage. Oh well: there’s always the pasture out back for when he needs it. “Albert, see to, er, Wilbur if you would please,” he said to his thought-to-be faithful servant, cooking up a name on the spot while handing over the reigns. “Some place with a lot of mowable grass to munch down on.”

“Right, sir.”

“And women. Don’t forget the women.”

“Sure thing, sire.” But he was talking to the horse now.

“Well — I’ll be,” Frank Lynn said to this surprising new turn, noting the long boner he had just thinking about it. What a grand scheme that dolphin wizard in the swamplands cooked up to make him the richest person in all of GTA V on top of being its most successful novelist. “Why not go all the way?” the wizard said about the original wish, knowing he had the power to amplify and extend. A chatting stallion would be worth more than the sum of all his cars, he realized while driving his VW with the now allowable headroom into his wide if not tall garage. He’d see to that challenged dimension too soon enough.

Leave a comment

Filed under **VIRTUAL SL, 0043, 0301, Georgia, Google Street View, GTA

00430109

Fern and Lichen pull up to the Atrium building, determined to get to the bottom of some things.

“Is this 3633 Wheeler Rd.?” started Lichen with the easy stuff, softening them up for Fern’s blazing bazooka of a brain.

“Yes, can I help you?” spoke Don the receptionist, on the job since Thursday. He’d yet to acquire an eye for suspicious looking characters, which these 2 certainly were.

“We’re here to see Wayne Bruce or Bruce Wayne, whichever way he orders it. We’re here to ask some questions if you don’t mind,” continued Lichen.

“Yeah, *questions*,” took over Fern in a much tougher voice than cream puff Lichen’s. “Like… what happened to Robin?; why did he replace him with Superduper Guy for a sidekick?; why is Aqua Dude so jealous of Superduper?; did he want to be the sidekick instead?; and what of Antarctica? Penguin? Penguin and Joker both? Backrooms? And finally: Alberta? Is it Albert or Alberta? And what of that tea and the forgetting?; did Aqua Dude and his partner Bullfrog simply drive away after that, no deal formed between the lot of ’em?; why was this his ace in the hole? *That* kind of stuff.” Fern finally took a breath.

Don’s evasion training from 2 days ago kicked in at last. “I’m sorry, did you say 3633? This is 3643. You’re one down from where you should be.”

“Yeah, we’re not going to fall for that,” said Fern. “We’re just going to walk out that door, go looking for 3633 in the wrong location and then come back here all confused. Maybe you’ll say the reverse, then, that this was 3633 all along and you thought we said 3643. Most likely so. But by that time you would have cooked something up. Wayne Bruce or Bruce Wayne is doing business in New Zealand at the moment thank you very much. He’s in the building and we know it. Go *get* him. Or, heck, *else*.” She pulls a gold gun out of her gray capri pants pocket, trains it on his head. She wakes up.

—–

“Asylum is one up on the Black list from Atrium,” interpreted Fern later to Lichen over a breakfast of Toasty-O’s, new pepper and mint flavor, new shape of snakes and ladders respectively. “This is what we actually seek. Just like Snowden.”

Leave a comment

Filed under **VIRTUAL SL, 0043, 0109, Castle Town, Georgia, Google Street View, Omega^^

Green Squirt One (it’s not easy)

He sat up front so he could see better with his littler head. The Mann and Bullfrog sat a row back, glad of the excuse for privacy. Now they could talk freely — or whisper freely — while Aqua Dude was absorbed in the story. The Mann of course knew the contents of the film inside and out, having studied the hated Dynamic Duo for years looking for weaknesses and such. Bullfrog was just glad to get away from his controlling lover/partner and chat with someone else without sparking jealousy. Albert (or Alberta) retreated back into his maintenance position and, as stated, was forgotten by all. Tea serves well as a reminder to forget.

“I thought you were dead,” The Mann began in his whisper of a tone.

“No. That was the doctor. We exchanged places, good for me bad for him.”

The Mann absorbed this. “What about your family? Red Squirt 7 wasn’t it?”

“Dead as well. Dead through gunns.”

More absorbing. “What about wo-mann?”

Bullfrog looked over. Aqua Dude was hanging onto every word Wayne Bruce in front of him spouted about Asylum, a company he started on the western seacoast in 1972. He watched him open a file.

“If you mean why am I still with Aqua Dude, I decided to give up the fairer sex long ago. Tried it in my teen years. Didn’t work.”

“What about the whole frog thing?”

This made Bullfrog think about Frog Rock they passed on the way to Wayne’s villa here. “I guess it was something that just had to be.” He’d thrown away marriage to Miss Parr to become Green. He returned home to the Motherland.


“Missed you Sonny.”

Leave a comment

Filed under **VIRTUAL SL, 0042, 0115, Back Rooms, C2077, Europe, Google Street View, Maebaleia/Satori, Redsland

He’s also known as Alberta.

“Sorry about not answering the door in a timely manner, gentlemen. My Girl Friday is out today visiting various doctors. Forgot to get a physical when she was hired last week for one thing. And her back was giving her problems.”

“Hmph,” centrally sitting Aqua Dude dismissed the casual talk. “Soo… about the end of superheroes, especially the super one known as Superduper Guy, my arch-nemesis.”

The Mann wondered why a superhero would have another superhero as such instead of a declared villian like the Joker or the Penguin (for instance), but didn’t speak this aloud. Instead: “We have good reason to think that Batty Man and his wonder boy Superduper Guy will not be returning from inside the polar circle, Antarctica in their case. The Penguin set up something there called a Back Room in modern culture. Many many rooms and corridors leading nowhere. And malignant entities found within.”

“Popsicles?” said Aqua Dude to this, puzzling The Mann. “Popsicle people I mean?”

“I’m… not sure.”

Aqua Dude turned to partner/lover Bullfrog. “You remember don’t you Bully? The popsicle people, the one with sticks for legs and ice for heads?”

Bullfrog recalled something along those lines and said so.

“Amazon (Room), yes. The heads kept them cool in the jungle and the legs allowed them to step over the snakes and spiders more easily and safely.”

All became silent. The Mann realized they were waiting for him. “Yes, we have the various Bat Cave instruments downstairs that tell us they’re still in Antarctica, still in that Back Room hypothetically. Else that or dead.”

“Either way: good.” Aqua Dude again, in a voice not of a child but a grown-up, despite the size.

“The Manor is most likely mine to claim then, you see. I entered Wayne’s villa and became a Waynesvillian, with all the others, my Girl Friday, my wife Parasol, Albert the butler, acting as proxies.” Where *was* Albert, The Mann suddenly thought, as if waking from a dream. Was he in the Bat Cave? Did he also go to Antarctica with his boss and sidekick? Must – find – Albert.

“Yes, sire?”

“Jeez! Uh hmm. You scared the bejeebers out of me, er, Albert.” Mindreader! The Mann thought. *Now* he recalls. Minderaser as well! Did a number on him when he came to the door for the first time. The superheroes’ last card to play.

Then they all drank tea and The Mann forgot who Albert was again. As soon as he left his sight.

Leave a comment

Filed under **VIRTUAL SL, 0042, 0114, Maebaleia/Satori, Redsland

00410415

He paused in his magical spinning to admire the ocean view. Back on Jeogeot, he thought with satisfaction. It seems we just left.

A knock at the door. “Dear,” spoke over interwebs watching April Mae Flowers, the wife of many years, “are you expecting someone?”

Actually, he was. She’d caught up with him, just as he’d planned. He said to his wife: “Yes. It’s an acquaintance from Corvo. She’s cool with the gold. Go ahead and let her in.”

“Albert, if you would,” requested April Mae to their Selenite butler behind her, always at ready by the fireplace with whatever the elderly couple needed, mainly tea but occasionally other tasks. Like now. “Certainly, mum,” he said in that trilling, alien voice of his, laying down the tea tray on the, let’s see, fireplace mantel and proceeding to the door.

“Welcome,” he issued to the stranger outside. “Mssr. Gold said he’s expecting you.”

“Indeed he is,” she said.

“Hi Supergal Ruby!” he called over in the waning light after opening the other door remotely. Time to turn the lights on in this interesting new development.

Leave a comment

Filed under **VIRTUAL SL, 0041, 0415, Big Woods, Jeogeot

turning ugly

“You can take the Great Belt away, Walter. For now.”

“Buddy, sire,” softly and politely corrected the Selenite butler to his master.

“Yeah, sure. But Poetry and I are happy, Harry. We have some stuff to work on here for a while. Right Poetry?”

“Alberta,” she whispered back to lover Barry X. Vampire.

“What’s that dear?”

“Alberta!”

“Yes, madam?”

Leave a comment

Filed under **VIRTUAL SL, 0020, 0403, Abbey^^

Pipersville

“Of course, Albert. She *belts* out tunes like no one and she does this at The Diamond owned by a Black (man). We must get in touch with this Jim A.; see what he knows about The Room. Something happened there, er, Alberta… sorry about the name before.”

“That is okay, sir,” Alberta the Selenite butler dutifully assured. “I am but a humble servant, ready to serve.”

“I think I’ll wear the Great Belt again — stare out at the tire.” He knew he could get additional insights this night. Energy was obviously strong here in Urqhart or thereabouts now that Collagesity had been manifested. So exciting! Green: so green here. No arid, desert-like surroundings to deal with any longer. He was *free*.

Alberta returned with the belt. “Here it is, sir. Do you…?”

“No. I can do it,” requested Barry X. Vampire, knowing what Alberta was going to ask. He didn’t need help getting it on this time. He was getting use to the contraption. And the shock. More difficult for a man!

—–

“I think it’s working, Albert!” he called back, happy in the moment.

“That’s very fine, sir.”

—–

He deftly straddled the Baja Bullet, looking around. Star, huh? Yeah, he was in the right place. Now to find Your Mama and, hopefully, Jim A. as well.

Maybe start at the Starlite up there…

Leave a comment

Filed under **VIRTUAL SL, 0019, 0608, Corsica, Maebaleia/Satori, Pipersville/Sink X^, Urqhart^

Barry X. Vampire

I have a chance to return, finish my novel. “The Spinning Tire.” “The Revolving Wheel.” Still working on it. Still working on the text. I should talk to Buddy about it, the butler.

—–

“Wait, you’re Alberta.”

“Correct, sir. Did you enjoy the Great Belt?”

“Umm.”

“Did I tell you I am a butler and my original home was Butler? In Pennsylvania of the US of A.”

“Yes, I think you mentioned it. But what about *Urqhart*? We’re in Greater Urqhart, true. But if I choose to buy that land, or *retain* that land, we’ll be right in the heart of things. Green, Alberta. The land is so green. It feels like home to me. I’m not sure about Baker Bloch, though. I think he’d like to downsize and keep things in Fordham over on that arid Nautilus ridge. Obviously I’d like the opposite — seems like it. What — how do you weigh in, Alberta? You’re a trusted friend, and you know the area. What about that dried up body of water over there, Sox Pond and Indian Lake combined? Seems like that’s enough to keep me — us — in the area and away from Nautilus.”

“I think sir, considering all the possible pathways, that there is no true wrong decision at this point. And NWES —”

“Ah yes. NWES. Export of bits and pieces of Collagesity into that still growing, massive burg. Fast becoming the Tokyo of Mainland, Our Second Lyfe it is.”

“Marty is there,” suggested Alberta. “But also Marty is *here*.”

—–

You can start with the house; build out from that.”

Leave a comment

Filed under **VIRTUAL SL, 0019, 0516, Corsica, Urqhart^

switch

“I’ve got to figure out where I *am* in this story, Inspector-Chef Petty. Am I in Storybrook? Or — here?” The answer was obvious. He was here. He draws back out of the media feed in his adopted house in Greater Urqhart.

The butler came to him from behind with an offer of tea, which would have been his 6th drink of the day to add to 2 iced expresso beverages, 2 hot coffees, and 1 other tea, a blend of caffeinated and decaffeinated Earl Grey, mix in some Orange and Spice for pizzazz. Just like the one being offered.

“No thank you, Alberta, not right now.” Then Barry spoke again to the butler over his shoulder. “Say, you’re from Corsica originally, aren’t you Alberta?”

“Yes sir. The western part, or, more correctly, the southwestern part. I originate from a place called Butler as well. I am a butler and my place of origin is Butler but it is all coincidence.” He spoke methodically, something like a robot but not quite. There was still warmth in his voice. And the overtone trill of an insect.

Wannabe famous novelist Barry X. Vampire knew there were no coincidences, at least not in His Second Lyfe, by experience. He began to query more. It was thus here that he learned of his alternate existence on the border between Golen Hill and Golen Bay, with the same butler, with the same media feed, with Inspector-Chef Petty still by his side reading “Floydadada” or the “Necronomicon” or whatever the current book rage was, red one be damned. He will *not* pick up the red one and read, no sir-rie. But then he did — just found the book in his hands all of a sudden. Inspector-Chef Petty begins to red. A red door appears behind him — her, a portal…

“It is known for its great belts,” continued the butler, as if nothing had happened, no movement or teleportation occurred. “Black Diamond style. The word Belt is incorporated into the word Butler, after all. Think about it sir. Think long and hard about it. I will leave the great belt with you to decide.

Decide *what*? Barry X. Vampire ruminated as the butler left the object on the table before retreating back downstairs somewhere. “*Somewhere*, he then realizes, seeing the portal for what it is. Amazon — Basin. *Comet.*

The door opens.

Leave a comment

Filed under **VIRTUAL SL, 0019, 0308, Corsica, Southwest^, Storybrook^, Urqhart^

truth

“Tea sir?”

It was Alberta the Selenite butler behind him. He was always there, at the back of the hearth. Waiting to serve. Selenite, huh? Mssr. Gold thought. Wonder if there’s a connection…

… for he had just finished up re-reading photo-novel 12 on the house media feed, where the Rosehaven-Caledonia fictional universe was conceived. The one that featured Merry Gouldbusk as Princess-Queen, *not* the actual Princess ruler of Rosehaven. That would be Selena. In the universe of the here and now, where Caledonia is not Caledonia but Caledon, the somewhat larger micro-continent just south of Rosehaven. At the end of photo-novel 12 the two lands were united again, just like in olden days. I’d have to check back but I’d guess when Rosehaven was called Winterfell, the name changed several years ago to distance Selena’s realm from the Winterfell region in “Game of Thrones,” growing beyond cult status at the time to achieve universal recognition. Enough, said the Princess. She tired of telling outsiders that this was *not* a “Game of Thrones” role playing region. And so Rosehaven was born from Winterfell in Our Second Lyfe.

On the official Realm of Rosehaven blog, under the Chronicles header, you’ll find a good number of fictional stories about Rosehaven already, most of a much more serious and detailed look at the land and people populating it than my own. But a cool link is a concept called The Mist (or Myst or Mists, et al), an agreed upon unifying element that actually hides (or can hide) Rosehaven from the rest of Our Second Lyfe for protection (if needed). But like all powerful agents, The Mist has a darker side. Princess Selena herself is a product of The Mist, having shown up at her aunt’s door out of the blue in 2012, a physical manifestation of its trickster aspect, it seems.*

And so now, as a land owner in Rosehaven, I’ve had dealings with the real Princess. Dare I tell her of my fake ruler: Princess Merry Gouldbusk? And then there’s Ingo, her fake big brother who also rules after the death of their mother and father, the King and Queen (also fake).

Then there’s the curious, little detail of a storyline by Merri(Kat) in the official Rosehaven chronicles. Interesting wormholes here, with more to be found I’m guessing. How far have the wayward fingers of The Mist penetrated? All the way to… Earth?


*footnote:
By this I mean *The Mist* is a trickster at times, *not* Princess Selena, who seems to be a decent and wholesome elven type being all around from what I’ve read and heard! Direct quote from the blog post on her origins, then. Serra Anansi, her mother, is the speaker:

A baby in a basket?! The Mist?! And then I suddenly remembered making an off-handed joke at Mr. Drinkwater’s rez day party about having a baby. I do like to see him sweat and try to be diplomatic about such outlandish things and you know how wonderful he is at finding the most ingenious ways to divert the conversation to more proper topics.

I ran to the window, still able to see the very last fingers of The Mist evaporating on the horizon and I called out to it “I WAS KIDDING!!!!”

Leave a comment

Filed under **VIRTUAL SL, 0017, 0115, Caledonia^^, Rose Heaven^^