Tag Archives: Aqua Dude^*+++$

00430307 (1/2 mil at least)

But does he really?

He goes into his bedroom to make a call to Lester, telling him the assassination is done and that he wants his money and new house for the job. After Lester says it’s a done deal, all his personal belongings disappear before his very eyes.

“What the???”

Frank Lynn wakes up, rises off the wide if short couch he fell asleep on. 8:30 in the evening: time to get in a real bed, he figures. He has 7 king size ones to choose from now, depending on which direction he wants the sun to be when he awakens in the morning after a refreshing 8 hours, beyond just these dratted accidental “power naps” of his. Ghetto dreams, pheh. Aunt Jen can only haunt him from them on a couch like from his youth, falling asleep to “Aqua Dude Hunger Force” reruns on the boob tube or something. He’s so far above his gangster roots and Aunt Jen and her woman power ways it’s not even funny. He thinks about the wide if not high garage full of short, powerful yellow cars — horse-powerful. He runs through other aspects of his wealth and influence in his head. Asylum Inc. He *will* make it a reality.

Time to get back to the Red book colored blue. He has them all about the house to find easier. If he misplaces one, there’s always another to fill in right around the corner. Always puts him right to sleep. *No* ghetto dreams in an actual, full sized bed. Power.

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00430109

Fern and Lichen pull up to the Atrium building, determined to get to the bottom of some things.

“Is this 3633 Wheeler Rd.?” started Lichen with the easy stuff, softening them up for Fern’s blazing bazooka of a brain.

“Yes, can I help you?” spoke Don the receptionist, on the job since Thursday. He’d yet to acquire an eye for suspicious looking characters, which these 2 certainly were.

“We’re here to see Wayne Bruce or Bruce Wayne, whichever way he orders it. We’re here to ask some questions if you don’t mind,” continued Lichen.

“Yeah, *questions*,” took over Fern in a much tougher voice than cream puff Lichen’s. “Like… what happened to Robin?; why did he replace him with Superduper Guy for a sidekick?; why is Aqua Dude so jealous of Superduper?; did he want to be the sidekick instead?; and what of Antarctica? Penguin? Penguin and Joker both? Backrooms? And finally: Alberta? Is it Albert or Alberta? And what of that tea and the forgetting?; did Aqua Dude and his partner Bullfrog simply drive away after that, no deal formed between the lot of ’em?; why was this his ace in the hole? *That* kind of stuff.” Fern finally took a breath.

Don’s evasion training from 2 days ago kicked in at last. “I’m sorry, did you say 3633? This is 3643. You’re one down from where you should be.”

“Yeah, we’re not going to fall for that,” said Fern. “We’re just going to walk out that door, go looking for 3633 in the wrong location and then come back here all confused. Maybe you’ll say the reverse, then, that this was 3633 all along and you thought we said 3643. Most likely so. But by that time you would have cooked something up. Wayne Bruce or Bruce Wayne is doing business in New Zealand at the moment thank you very much. He’s in the building and we know it. Go *get* him. Or, heck, *else*.” She pulls a gold gun out of her gray capri pants pocket, trains it on his head. She wakes up.

—–

“Asylum is one up on the Black list from Atrium,” interpreted Fern later to Lichen over a breakfast of Toasty-O’s, new pepper and mint flavor, new shape of snakes and ladders respectively. “This is what we actually seek. Just like Snowden.”

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Green Squirt One (it’s not easy)

He sat up front so he could see better with his littler head. The Mann and Bullfrog sat a row back, glad of the excuse for privacy. Now they could talk freely — or whisper freely — while Aqua Dude was absorbed in the story. The Mann of course knew the contents of the film inside and out, having studied the hated Dynamic Duo for years looking for weaknesses and such. Bullfrog was just glad to get away from his controlling lover/partner and chat with someone else without sparking jealousy. Albert (or Alberta) retreated back into his maintenance position and, as stated, was forgotten by all. Tea serves well as a reminder to forget.

“I thought you were dead,” The Mann began in his whisper of a tone.

“No. That was the doctor. We exchanged places, good for me bad for him.”

The Mann absorbed this. “What about your family? Red Squirt 7 wasn’t it?”

“Dead as well. Dead through gunns.”

More absorbing. “What about wo-mann?”

Bullfrog looked over. Aqua Dude was hanging onto every word Wayne Bruce in front of him spouted about Asylum, a company he started on the western seacoast in 1972. He watched him open a file.

“If you mean why am I still with Aqua Dude, I decided to give up the fairer sex long ago. Tried it in my teen years. Didn’t work.”

“What about the whole frog thing?”

This made Bullfrog think about Frog Rock they passed on the way to Wayne’s villa here. “I guess it was something that just had to be.” He’d thrown away marriage to Miss Parr to become Green. He returned home to the Motherland.


“Missed you Sonny.”

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He’s also known as Alberta.

“Sorry about not answering the door in a timely manner, gentlemen. My Girl Friday is out today visiting various doctors. Forgot to get a physical when she was hired last week for one thing. And her back was giving her problems.”

“Hmph,” centrally sitting Aqua Dude dismissed the casual talk. “Soo… about the end of superheroes, especially the super one known as Superduper Guy, my arch-nemesis.”

The Mann wondered why a superhero would have another superhero as such instead of a declared villian like the Joker or the Penguin (for instance), but didn’t speak this aloud. Instead: “We have good reason to think that Batty Man and his wonder boy Superduper Guy will not be returning from inside the polar circle, Antarctica in their case. The Penguin set up something there called a Back Room in modern culture. Many many rooms and corridors leading nowhere. And malignant entities found within.”

“Popsicles?” said Aqua Dude to this, puzzling The Mann. “Popsicle people I mean?”

“I’m… not sure.”

Aqua Dude turned to partner/lover Bullfrog. “You remember don’t you Bully? The popsicle people, the one with sticks for legs and ice for heads?”

Bullfrog recalled something along those lines and said so.

“Amazon (Room), yes. The heads kept them cool in the jungle and the legs allowed them to step over the snakes and spiders more easily and safely.”

All became silent. The Mann realized they were waiting for him. “Yes, we have the various Bat Cave instruments downstairs that tell us they’re still in Antarctica, still in that Back Room hypothetically. Else that or dead.”

“Either way: good.” Aqua Dude again, in a voice not of a child but a grown-up, despite the size.

“The Manor is most likely mine to claim then, you see. I entered Wayne’s villa and became a Waynesvillian, with all the others, my Girl Friday, my wife Parasol, Albert the butler, acting as proxies.” Where *was* Albert, The Mann suddenly thought, as if waking from a dream. Was he in the Bat Cave? Did he also go to Antarctica with his boss and sidekick? Must – find – Albert.

“Yes, sire?”

“Jeez! Uh hmm. You scared the bejeebers out of me, er, Albert.” Mindreader! The Mann thought. *Now* he recalls. Minderaser as well! Did a number on him when he came to the door for the first time. The superheroes’ last card to play.

Then they all drank tea and The Mann forgot who Albert was again. As soon as he left his sight.

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frog passes frog along historic Route 66 in MO

“Interesting tattoo you have on your back there, Ms….”

“Krakow,” she finished for the doctor. “Marsha ‘Pink’ Krakow.”

“Yes, so I’ve heard. Very colorful.” The records said Shelley. Shelley Johnston Struthers. This was the correct body.

—–

“*There* it is. Up on the hill. At least we know we’re in the right Wayensville this time. Um, Waynesville I meant there.”

“Of course,” said the driver to the passenger who was also his lover. Bullfrog and Aqua Dude, on their way to a meeting with The Mann about the future of superheroes in general. And their whole DC University along with them.

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heaven

Melvin (Melville “Peepee” Todd) kisses similarly dead Melvin on the head to finish. “We’ll make this better,” he promises his little demon doppleganger. “We’ll – make – this – better.”

“Aaaand CUT!”

—–

“Wanna grab some lunch over at the Faux Rhino, Stewart?”

“Um, sure thing Marty.”

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Gunn(s) 02

It appeared while he was working on plans for a new floor of the building. Red cube.

“Aww, damn. Those guys again? I thought I was done with all this,” he grumbled and got up to check the laptop at the other end of his office to see where they were in the game.

“Sh-t,” he cussed, seeing that Cloe had ditched her weapon in a small, blackhole-style glitch and progressed toward the Dead Sea(s) and The Basin beyond the namesake trailer park. “They must have found the gunn(s).”

“All I wanted,” he lamented to an imaginary Aqua Dude on the couch behind him, “is to be a Green Squirt One, on my own and away from my family of red neck bill hillies. I wanted to be happy,” *sigh*.

His former lover Aqua Dude faded from the couch as he realized what need to be done. He checked the game logs to see when the hole had last been emptied.

“23 hours ago. Maybe there’s still time…”

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Billhillies

Does Tipton escapee Incognito, cousin to Pipersville’s Colored TV and Rumpkinhead who also lived in the burg *directly before* the bomb went off, currently reside in this house with a great view of Turtle Hill or Butte, shortest but most central of the three main Hills of Bill…

… or in this house below Bill Hill, highest of these hills but not as centrally located?

Again, time-space-options remain confused. It’s becoming difficult, nay impossible to keep writing about such situations. Once again, we must end our story in the Hills of Bill.

—-

Wait… late breaking news: a *car* is coming down the road from Bluefield, US of A, Real Life and into Our Virtual Reality. Rumor has it that the relatively new vehicle is a blue Fit, but some reports comfirm it is red. Let’s say purple to cover both realities. Relatively new Athlon Village employee Valerie Kempbill (or Kemphill) monitors the portal day and night with eyes in her headless head from a nearby 4th floor apartment while taking voluminous notes in her yellow and black notebooks. We’ll keep you the reader posted.

—–

Are Space Ghost and now-friend-formerly-foe Bullfrog really and truly a gay couple as the hecklers across the grassy parcel from their Bill Hill tippy top trailer believe? Where B.F.’s (former?) lover Aqua Dude if so? Tracking down Kevin A. Orchardsity in X-City who he knows is the same as his arch-enemy Super Guy? Probably. Could go something like this:

“I’m looking for someone. He looks exactly like this.”

—-

Well. That appears to be it! We didn’t meet Bullfrog’s intervention team headed by his brother-cousin Peepee, but no time remains. The car from Bluefield must appear sooner than later. We are left with a picture again.

Next up, we may shift to the Nautilus continent above Satori-Maebaleia for more of the North-South-East-West conflicts. I can work this drama from my new home base of 7 Stones. Will residents vote 7 Stones to be renamed Collagesity? (More) time will tell!

END OF “COLLAGESITY 2019 LATER”!

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out of sight

“Good one, Aqua Dude!”

“Where’s Chicken Guy today!?” he shouted in return, but Chesteria had already run out of earshot. So fast. Cheetah fast, of course, since she was 1/2.

Watch out for that fountain, Speedy Gonzales! But she was nimble as well as fast. Best of both worlds.

The cows wouldn’t recognize her if she stood still. Always a blur to them.

Then something suddenly made her STOP. A running plane at the airport on the west side of town — new one. Circle within circle design on the wings. It somehow rang a bell. Like a cow.

“Help!” shouted the occupant, a lone flyer. But now: no fly. He had landed in Regaltown and he wasn’t gay, so the scripts didn’t work here. “Help!” he repeated, unable to even separate himself from the cockpit.

Keith B. 1/2 of the non-gay team called The Basterds. He suddenly found himself 20 years younger. Maybe 40 after the glasses also disappeared. Grammy’s vortex powers were still in effect for the area, eating up the decades in pairs.

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otherworldly

“My father is right over there,” Baker Bloch spoke to spiritually oriented Hucka Doobie. “Just beyond the unwaving grass.”

“Bamboo,” Hucka Doobie elaborated. “A type of grass, yes.”

“But I can’t interact with him,” Baker Bloch continued. “Oh the things I could tell him.”

Hucka Doobie remained silent, then: “Why can’t you interact with him? Since he’s just right over there especially.”

“I thought…”

“That you would change the future?”

“Well… yeah.”

“The future cannot be changed, because there is no future except a web of possibilities. We could change *one* probability, yes, but it was already there in the first place. We cannot change anything.”

Baker Bloch nodded for Hucka Doobie without really understanding what he said. “So… I can go see my father? My *young* father?” He points toward the bamboo on the other side of the frog pond. They can see the trailer faintly through it from where they sit.

“Sure, sure,” Hucka Doobie agreed. “But would this be pre-Baker Bloch Space Ghost or post-Baker Bloch?”

“Not sure.”

“What I mean is… what I’m asking is…”

“Whether I am yet born, yet *conceived*,” Baker Bloch realized

“Yes.”

“Well…” He blew out air here. “One thing I know is that I better not be my own grandpa or something.”

“How would that work?” Hucka Doobie shot back.

Baker Bloch thinks of his mother here, who we’ve only seen as Old Grey in the Collagesity novels. “I suppose it can’t.” Baker Bloch gets up off the bench they’re awkwardly perched upon. “Come on, Hucka D. Let’s go see Pops.”

“Hold on there young fellas.” It was Bullfrog, who rented the cottage behind them. “I can’t help but see you were sitting on that bench but you weren’t *sitting* on that here bench. You must be straight…. unable to run scripts… not part of the group.”

Standing Baker Bloch looks over at standing Hucka Doobie, then admits this is true. “We are here as observers,” he elaborates. “From the future.”

“Ohh.” Bullfrog looks anxiously back at the cottage. A diminutive figure emerges from around it: Bullfrog’s partner Aqua Dude.

He almost immediately invokes one of his own special powers. “The green turns to red and the red turns to green,” he recites down to Baker Bloch and Hucka Doobie, still clustered around that bench. Things completely change.

They look around. “Is this *real*?” Baker Bloch speaks to his bee friend.

“I’ve heard of such,” exclaims Hucka Doobie, also looking at the pond, the ground, the sky. “In theory.”

“This way,” Aqua Dude pipes up, “I can turn into Super Guy as well as being Aqua Dude. Ruler of the sea *and* the sky. See? Hehe.”

“He thinks his colors now are the same as his arch nemesis Super Guy,” explains Bullfrog above him. “But it’s not really an exact match. Just humor him. He does it to everyone he first meets. He’ll get use to you.”

“I rule the *skies* as well as the *sea*,” he repeats, glaring toward them.

“Sure you do, Aqua Dude,” tempers Bullfrog. “Sure you do.”

Satisfied that the strangers understand perhaps his most unique ability, Aqua Dude shuts it off and the pond and its environs return to normal colors. “The red turns to green and the green turns to red,” he reverses.

“Now, about that trailer…”

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