Tag Archives: Old Kent^$

Bitch

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“Oh, I got woes floaty man. Yes I do.”

“You gonna order anything today, Karl?” asks Rhoda impatiently, his little stick arms protruding from below his oval, blue-green body per usual. He is a true flattie or cutout in both Real Life and Second Life — rather unusual. “‘Cause I got a business to run,” he continues in his slightly nasal voice. “A new business. Old Kent is looking over us all the time from… heaven, yeah. You gotta order something. You can’t just freeload in here. Load’s not free.”

“Rhoda, I’ve already drunk three frigg’n beers and positioned them on the counter over there,” responds Karl in his typical gruff manner and nodding in the appropriate direction.

“N-no you didn’t. They were there.”

“No, I distinctly remember the golden goodness of 3 Krings beers sliding down my throat and into Tummyville. And I paid you.”

“Oh, okay,” Rhoda says matter of factly. Then: “That’ll be 3 dollars.”

“Nah, I ain’t doing that.” Karl waves him off, and then looks over at the picture on the wall to his right. “So what’s with you and that Old Kentucky or Old Kent or whatever — *shark* anyway? It’s like you’re his bitch or something.”

“He looks down on me and tells me things to do and to order,” came the reply. “Listen, there’s something I have to tell you Karl.” He leans in closer. “We’re[ all] dead.”

At this point Karl got the sudden urge to pull out a gun and point it directly at Rhoda’s head. Or his body which is the same as his head. He’s psychically tapping into the violence that regularly occurred at Rhoda’s former bar. It wouldn’t be the last time.

“I don’t understand. I don’t get that,” he said instead.

“Aren’t you going to point that gun at me?” Rhoda was truly perplexed.

“How did you know I wanted to point a gun at you? Is this some kind of strange time loop?”

Karl blinked, and then Rhoda was laying dead on the counter, riddled in gunshot wounds.

“Holy shit what just happened!?”

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But he’s okay.

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Rhoda

Baker Bloch hung a picture in The Hole in the Wall in anticipation of the new bartender, only to find out later on he got the wrong Rhoda.

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Here’s the actual Rhoda in question, pictured here on the first day at work. Old Kentucky Shark became his first customer, and promptly issued a stern warning to the new guy. Territories needed to be established right off; sharp boundaries drawn.

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And the remembrance that this had all happened before.

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Shark

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The rain certainly brought out some interesting characters from the deep. Like Shark. Like Gentle Giant Fan. Like Little Reading Light, who usually sits just outside the bar dangling her cylindrical feet into Confluence Pool. But the pool was higher than the floor of the bar now, and still rising.

Shark:

You do not remember me, do you Furry Karl? You are not Furry Karl? Are you Furry Karl? Karl?

Furry Karl:

*Yes* Shark?

Shark:

Who are you? Do you remember?

Furry Karl:

Hey Lockfry, can you see this creature home from… whereever he comes from. Where *do* you come from Mr. Shark?

Shark:

Old Kentucky to you. Or Old Kent.

Lockfry:

Hey, thanks for the free cable subscription by the by. Great to meet you in person.

Old Kent:

You’re welcome Strangler.

Lockfry:

Cool. (looks to right) And what are you reading Little Light? “Winesap”, as usual? Haven’t you finished that book yet? Can I borrow it from you?

LCL:

Mmmmmm. Brrr. Whick. Yuppie. Yup-ie.

Furry Karl:

Little Climbing Light isn’t much of a talker, Lockfry. Best to leave her alone to read her book. I suppose she’s only inside to escape the rain. Never seen her sit here, although she sometimes comes in and buys a whiskey sour and takes it back outside to her pool. Hey, Little, they’re going to name that pool after you someday.

LCL:

Mrrr. Bub. Cliip.

Lockfry:

And how about the last person at the bar. Looks like he’s lights out for the night.

Furry Karl:

Rode in here on the shark. So I suppose they came from the same party. Hey Fanboy. Wake up. Bar’s closing in 10 minutes. Let’s see if you’re able to walk home on your own. Hey… (claps hands together) You in there? Come on. You can do it.

(Gentle Giant Fan raises his head from the bar and looks around.)

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GGF:

Oh, Kent. Glad you’re still here. Can you give me a lift home?

Old Kent:

Sure. As soon as Furry Karl says he remembers. Remember Karl? Furry?

Lockfry:

He’s talking about R110, Furry Karl. The secret society that tried to keep Linden Labs from taking over Your Second Lyfe. Shark’s from Arkansas, from Roostre’s county.

GGF:

Pittsburg.

Lockfry:

That totally incorrect, er, Gentle Giant Fan Boy.

Old Kent (answering):

Yell. As in YELLING (he yells the word). As in YELLOW mustard. Needing more. Corndog. Corndroid. Surely Karl remembers the *true* bar. The bar where I killed him.

Lockfry:

Furry Karl, actually I’ve made enough money from umbrella sales during this storm to buy your bar several times over. And I have already — paid your boss Norubi Turtle for it earlier.

Furry Karl:

Wha-what’s that mean??

Lockfry:

It means as of right now you’re exiled from your bar and Collagesity as a whole. Unless you can answer Old Kent’s question correctly. *Do* *you* *remember* *Shark*? Think; think as if your bar, your status as a citizen of this ragamuffin town depends on it. Because it does.

Old Kent:

And I’ll finish it off by biting your head off.

Furry Karl:

Hey hey hey. Half of me is gone again!

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Lockfry:

That’s close enough, don’t you think Old Kent? Reveal the New Guy.

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The rain stopped.

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