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Woody Woodmanson divined their presence long before he saw The Musician, Colon and Morris walking toward him on the wood plank path above the high waterfalls. His key told him.

“Not too much longer, Lou,” he said to his friend and landlord, seated on the opposite side of the counter. “They’re preparing for the journey in their village.”

“Remember to *emphasize* that village whenever you see an opening,” she says. “We want Sikul to stay in his old house. He must become a team with Colon Hiss. Scotty is mine now.”

“Magenta Islands,” Woody blurted out. He’d been trying to guess the location of the lost portal since he learned about the fabled opening several days ago. “I’ve been thinking about it a lot. Pretty sure of that.”

But Lou knew Woody was wrong. Morris didn’t think she remembered the Jagged Sea and MOA. She had information he didn’t. And she planned to keep it that way.

“Any hour now,” Woody said, still divining.

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OPD

“No Woody, you cannot be a Musician in this story as well. Now put that away and get ready. It’s time.”

“Hello my love,” Old Man Allen Martin said. “For the last time.”

Wheeler could not help. She just had to watch. And, yeah, it was painful. Very painful.

Then it was done. Correct reality locked in.

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Still The Key

“No crossing this lake, my love. Good fishing, though. Probably worth the risk.”

“Perch?” Wheeler logically guessed.

“Yeah,” admitted Chuckles Greentop. “But fighters here. Tough because of the gators. I think that movable, more realistic looking one is a croc, actually, despite the description. I decided a while back to name it Dundee, after the movie.” She calls over to it. “How’re you hang’in today Dundee? Alli G. treating you right still?” She then whispers over to Wheeler. “They’re lovers, you know. Different species by my reckoning, but still do’in the nasty. And I want to be first in line for one of those impossible crocogator babies. I’ll put it in one of my outer pools.”

Wheeler glanced over her shoulder. “How’s your face holding up?”

“Fine. Close enough to a clown’s face to work. Better, maybe, because it’s more confusing. ‘What is you?’ they may be uttering, haha. Thank you for that. How ’bout yours?”

“Okay, I guess.”

“I told you, that’s the trick, my fiend friend. You *come* already as a clown. That way you won’t *turn* into a clown. You’ll learn the tricks here. We can fish together sometimes in this remote pool, then. But no further in this direction. That pool and attached monsters are there for a reason. I’ve seen them on the other side. This is where we communicate. Maybe today will be one of those days.”

Wheeler starts to shiver. Chuckles notices.

“Don’t be afraid, love. They’re as scared of those crocogator thingies as we are. This is the Pool of Coahoma, the separation of the barely living from the completely dead. Once you cross that pool or even attempt to, there’s no turning back. You’re one of them.”

Trouble was, Wheeler thinks she’s already been beyond. And then she gets instant verification.

“Welcome back Wheeler,” says a smiling Woody Woodmanson, appearing from around the bend.

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Resolution 02

“We are at Purden Center, Snowmanster. But where are Core and Alena?”

“Yeah, right, I forgot about that too,” Snowmanster acknowledges. “I’ll have to leave you once more, just for a moment.” He puts his hand on the wooden man’s shoulder. “Woody, you’ve been a fantastical friend down through the years for me. You’ve endured great hardships and still have managed to make a place for yourself in this world. I am here to help now. Wheeler and I. And the children who aren’t children, now rescued from being X-ed out. We’re all in this together. You can ask your questions.” On the spot, Snowmanster changes into Core-Alena.

“Kneel down, Woody,” Core-Alena requests. “So I can speak with you… fellow wooden being. Here, let me turn just a little to the right so you can see me better. And I, you.”

Woody kneels. “Snowmanster? Is that you in there?”

“Yes. This is a core being as well but more than myself. *All* of us. Everyone in the Snowlands. Rich and poor. Good and evil. Male and female. We are them. They are us. As Snowmanster, I just had to commit to being here. With you and the others.” Owlie the 3rd eyed owl sitting on one of their branches hoots in agreement.

“So is this… the end?”

“Yes,” states Core-Alena. “We will go forward, obviously, but in a different setting, a different light. Mid-Hazel and her entrapping X’s, etc., have been defeated. We are one.

Woody gets on the ground and stares directly into the male-female eyes. He asks the final question. “Am I in there too?”

“Woody,” Core-Alena playfully smirks. “You are the key!”

END OF “COLLAGESITY 2016-2017 WINTER”.

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Resolution 01

From a frozen pond in Virrat, Baker Bloch admires the vast expanse of Poorvoo’s North Pole. But he doesn’t have time right now to revisit that place. He must get to Woody’s before the toy avatar awakes and spring the surprise.

—–

“Well?” he says while showing Woody the interior view. “What do you think?” He knew he’d be pleased.

“Fantastical,” Woody replies. “But who are you?”

“Oh, sorry. I forgot to change.”

“Snowmanster!” Woody cried. “So you have a secret identity.”

“Not secret,” admitted Baker Bloch/Snowmanster. “Core,” he explained. “That is (more) my real self.”

“What *is* you?”

“My father was a superhero and then a talk show host. My mother was, well… diffcult to explain.” He obviously thought of Wheeler’s recent appearances as Old Grey.

“Well I never,” exclaimed Woody. “Do *I* have a secret identity? A *core*?”

“Maybe,” says Snowmanster. “Why don’t we try to ask the *tree* this morning. I have a hunch they might be free to speak now.”

“Core-Alena?” asks Woody. He stares out the window toward the center of the woods.

“Of course.”

“But a spell was put on them.”

“I think Mid Hazel’s control is breaking down, Woody, thanks to Wheeler. She’s up next to Livigno now. She’s adopted two children who aren’t children at all but soon-to-be lovers. They will look into the room. They will free us.”

“Fantastical,” Woody repeats. “Let’s go see the tree.”

“Bert’s not invited.” Snowmanster and Woody share a laugh with that.

—–


Walking toward Purden Center from Snowmanster’s new home next to Woody’s.

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Twinning

“You’ve gone a bit queer haven’t you Woody? Maybe you should lay off the smokes. Just until you stop doing things like talking to Bert over there. Your man mannekin, hehe.”

“I love him,” Woody states frankly. “My key loves him too.”

“Well that’s good Woody.” Snowmanster uncrosses his legs. “So tell me about *these* guys.”

—–

It was always going to be this way, Wheeler realizes. This path…

… this village.

Not lacking for energy, she begins the steep ascent.

—–

“This should work. Right Uncle Jack?”

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Visitors

6:00am:

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Bert the Semi-Nudist beat on the windows of Woody’s A-frame house next to the Purden Forest. “Wake up in there Woody,” he called. “Things a do’n out here this morning. Get up and see.” Groggilly, Woody rolled over on his cat mattress… and fell asleep again. Five minutes later, Bert was back beating. Woody’s actual cat Vampire Boy was now out of his kitty coffin and staring over at muscular man. “If you don’t get up now, Woody, you’ll miss it. Come on!”

—–

6:10am:

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“Bert, why don’t you put on some clothes for Santa’s sake before you rush over here,” beseeched Woody while moving to the coffee pot. He wasn’t going to go out there in the cold without some caffeine in hand. He told Bert the same through the window, then invited him in.

—–

6:15am:

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“Woody, you gotta get out here! You’ve got to come now! Now now now!”

—–

6:20am:

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“Oh my Santa, Bert. What *is* those?”

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Secret Santa

Old Kringle was perhaps not the worst of the Santas, but he also certainly did not represent their best. As mentioned, he had a fairly serious dark side. He was not a killer, a slayer of elves verbatim. But he did cast them out into the cold and wilderness at times to fend for themselves. Often they were ill equipped. Woody Woodmanson was his first living toy. Then came Woody2, 3, 4, 5, quickly renamed each time. Old Kringle let the elves choose the name of the second to boost sagging moral and empower them in some fractional manner (their choice: Tom1). When making this decision, he had started reading a book called “The Green and the Grey” by John Bennerson. It was a short-lived positive influence. He realized about a third of the way through that he simply couldn’t identify with the main character, a man named John like the author who opposed enslavement of Martians. Well, didn’t his elves have some Martian blood in them, since they derived from the same prime race? So he threw the book in the fire, which Mrs. Kringle retrieved and then read the unburnt 2/3rds afterwards. One year later they were divorced. Younger Kringle became Old Kringle without supporting, balancing soulmate. The rift was final. Although not directly responsible, Old Kringle found out about dumped elf bodies in Purden Gorge and said nothing about it. This wasn’t the work of Arosa’s unfortunately named Satan Santa either, who was a quite cuddly, effeminate character underneath all that zombie skin. Nor Butchie Santa down in Smithers Bluff. No, this was a different kind of reddie, as they called their clan. A rouge one.

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Old Kringle keeping a watchful eye on his elves as they slave away in his Porvoo toy factory.

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Green and White

The next morning, Snowmanster and Woody were able to talk in private for the first time while Wheeler went back to Cloudmont to check out a forest oddity I’ll get to in a minute.

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Woody spoke frankly. “Why would you bring such a person to this sacred realm, Snowmanster? You must feel the (bad) vibrations surrounding her.”

“I do, I do,” admitted the white being. “She’s been dwelling in a nasty place. You wouldn’t have heard of it.”

“I’ve been to college, Snowmanster,” declared the toy avatar proudly, tenor voice piping up. “Second in my class.”

“Of *five.*” Snowmanster then backtracked on his putdown, feeling the hurt. “Yes, yes it *was* a great accomplishment, Woody. I’m proud of you.”

“And I have a key because of it. I never let it go, not in sleep, not in travel, not in any circumstance. I am the first toy avatar of my clan to earn one.” He clutched the gleaming gold object even harder.

“Very proud indeed,” Snowmanster reinforced. He looked down into the vast Purden woods, containing perhaps five times the amount of trees as the Rubi Forest. He spotted the appropriate, sticky-outy tree from his perch.

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“I suppose we’ll have to visit Alena next.”

“Of course,” replied the wooden man, also looking down. “And Core.”

“Of course.”

—–

Woody Woodmanson didn’t learn a lot about the current situation from surprisingly tight lipped Snowmanster. He was disappointed. He and Snowy went back a long ways now, all the way to the North Pole when Woody was still a twinkle in Old Kringle’s ancient eye. The first sound he remembers was cowbell. Woody would be different — a living toy to aid the elves’ arduous task of preparing for Christmas 11 3/4 months out of the year. After the event was over they’d get a week’s break until New Years Day. That was it as far as vacation, sick days, anything. There was a dark side to Old Kringle indeed. If you became unable to accomplish your tasks for any significant time (minus during the aforementioned break) you were sent away and replaced by another. Like numerous others before and after, this would be the fate of Woody at the age of 8 when he contracted elm disease. Rudolph the Reindeer, shiny red nose dulled with age, led him to the borders of the North Pole to say goodbye. Newly hewed Woody2, as they originally dubbed him, was already at work soldering together toy parts in the work shed behind them.

Snowmanster awaited beyond the boundary. He helped take care of those cast aside — helped them heal up if needed and then channeled them into different lives, better lives in some instances. Woody was very lucky. Master Luke Purden’s elf servant at the castle, another North Pole refuge, had just been destroyed by a rouge Yeti. Snowmanster put in a good word. He was there watching from the woods the day Woody’s limbs were attached to his body and the magic powder of life borrowed from Mid Rhonda over in Meribel was sprinkled over him head to foot. It was the first time Old Kringle involved himself with the dark arts, but certainly not the last. Woody Woodmanson knew well the feeling of evil and dread.

So Purden Castle, perched between eastward green Purden and westward white Cloudmont, became his home. Luke Purden died on March 17, 1968, the exact day the trees began to die over in the Rubi Woods far to the north. Woody’s inheritance enabled him to attend Meribel College and receive a degree in psychics. There was some overlap in his studies with the tiny witch “college within a college”, a separate entity from Meribel but paradoxically joined with it at the same time. This was the same internal college that produced Mid Hazel in 1972, one of two graduates that year. Snowmanster didn’t yet know this fact. Wheeler had slaughtered Plain Wayne too soon to find out.

Woody’s key vibrated abberantly as Wheeler walked back into the castle ruins from the west. “Even Whiter Walt, pheh,” she said, plopping her Bowie body down on the stone block next to them. “How many woods *does* he inhabit?”

“A lot,” answers Snowmanster. “I would even dare to venture: every one of ’em.”

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What she’d been studying.

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Changes

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Wheeler-as-Old Grey was markedly trailing Snowmanster by the time they reached the Cloudmont plateau and its host of stubby, snow laden trees. She felt her complex exterior breaking down. Soon she would not have the energy to even keep up the ancient lady appearance. Snowmanster had changed as well, but not for lack of energy. He was now a man.

Toy avatar Woody Woodmanson watched the two, brisk and brisker, pass by from behind a nearby tree. Snowmanster pretended not to see him; Old Grey *didn’t* see him. Straight ahead was what the white being declared the Purden Castle, where they could make camp for the coming, cold night and catch up with more stories of magical realms. He figured Woody would be joining them at some point, once his shyness receded.

Although he wouldn’t dare admit it, Snowmanster was having a fantastic time on this trip, more fun that he could remember. His sex had changed, which hadn’t happened in quite a while. He *liked* Old Grey. Similar to Karoz before him, he found she had a way to win you over once you get past that sandpaper exterior. She was just powerful and confused at the same time; didn’t really know how to apply all the energy she had — obviously. He thought he could help her. Snowmanster had a new mission, *despite* the fact that Wheeler (as Jerome T. Newton) tried to burn him alive less than two months back. His escape was always in the cards and that’s the important thing to keep in mind, he thought to himself. Was he still playing with fire?

Seeing the castle forming ahead, he then stopped and waited for Old Grey to catch up. She had already reverted back to her core self. Disappointed, Snowmanster saw that the structure had fallen into disrepair. He was hoping to show Wheeler something more substantial.

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At the campfire later that night, Woody passed around a snapshot showing how it was.

purden_castle

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