Category Archives: Muff-Bermingham

Mission 02 03

No one says anything, not knowing if Woody is finished or not. But after about 30 seconds, it’s pretty obvious to all that he’s wrapped up his spiel. Mary takes his place, thanking Woody and the others for their words, then asks if anyone else wants to speak. She looks at Baker Bloch then at Hucka Doobie. Both wave her off, but then Baker felt the need to say, “We appreciate your supreme sacrifice Mary.”

“Then I suppose it’s time.” She turns to the rocket ship. “Goodbye all! I’ll be back as soon as I can.”

“Goodbye my love!” Pitch cries from the second row. “I know you will. I have faith in the Gods.”

Sobbing, she touches the launcher, then manifests inside the firing capsule. A person was already there. It was George, seated beside her.

He took her hand. “It’s you and me now.”


24 years later…

“Do you not know me?” asked Mary/Chuckles to Sikul Himakt The Musician.

“Of course I do mother.”


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“There she is, George. Just like I predicted.”

“Who is she?”

“I’ve been thinking about that,” Duncan replied. “How long did you say you’ve been here now?”

“What’s time here? But 50 as of last Wednesday. *You* were there at the celebration.”

“Ever hear of mothersightings?”

“Of course,” said the younger boy in appearance. “But… *oh*, you don’t mean…?”


“That’s when we first saw her. Together. I’ve been spotting her fishing in various places for a while. We determined later it was the same ghost that haunted the village’s 3rd cottage — Osborne Well’s house back then, before he moved up the hill. He probably summoned her through the monster tome, we reasoned. That’s what we had nicknamed his heavy book of spells. And now she couldn’t escape this realm. But what was the spell? That’s what we had to find out next. Mr. Well always took a morning walk down in the lowlands: Path of the Circle River. That was our window. Literally. We entered his house through a window and not a door. George had just received a universal pass-through for his 50th death day, but we still dare not come in from the front. Very expensive in those days.”

“Doors?” Baker Bloch ventured.

“Pass-throughs,” Duncan corrected. “Buster Damm can tell you all about them. When he gets here.”

“Which should be soon,” Pitch Darkly said.

“Yes. The book was just laying open on the table, which should have been clear indication of a trap for us. It wasn’t. We were so proud that we’d found a way to enter the house in the first place. Vanity.” He shook his head. “The next thing we knew we were the same. I was him, I mean. Just by reading the passage in front of me. Rule 110.”

“Well, what did it say?” Hucka Doobie had been studying magic for years and was very curious about all this.

“We couldn’t remember. Neither of us.” Duncan kept something hidden here. “But that was the day we found out we had the same mother. And the same father. Osborne Well. Lucky us, eh? Osborne Well was our father.”


“Not Pitch?” exclaimed Baker Bloch.

“Nope,” Duncan replied tersely. “At least not until *now*. That’s why I’m apparently here. A summoning. Three days ago I was returned to my former self. Spell broken.” He wiped his forehead with his hand. “Thank the Lord God Almighty.”

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3 presents

Morris scolds Bendy for getting drunk in the corner of the room and missing Tronesisia pass through the portal outside into Bermingham.

Lou admonishes Tronesisia about being so proud of herself for figuring out the portal animal situation and forgetting to check the sealed Muff building indicated by Woody.

For Osborne Well, everything was going exactly as planned.

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Another 02b

It was also Woody who discovered what was, in effect, the keyhole of the cypher city. One of its buildings stood out from the rest, being isolated inside its own small square of surrounding road. The wooden man figured that if you unlinked the berg and then, in turn, touched or sat upon this building, the surrounding force field would be removed and you could reach the portal. But only one person should be up here when this happened, because you couldn’t just stand/un-sit and get back to Collagesity afterwards. Tronesisia was the one.

And if Woody’s theory was wrong? Tronesisia would be stuck here until Karoz could get his rocket ship launched for a rescue. After speaking with Baker Bloch on the matter, the robot lady decided it was well worth the risk, a quicker and, in all likelihood, safer way into Bermingham. Baker confided to Tronesisia that Woody is probably the one who set all this up in the first place, and then just conveniently forgot he did so. “How did it just show up one day outside his front door?” he rationalized to her. “How does Woody seem to know how it works so well? No, this was another aspect of his split nature, like how he regularly brings inanimate objects such as Snowy and others to life. He goes *into* them. Just like he has already gone into this world, this Bermingham. He’s merely forgotten; it’s what he does by nature,” Baker reinforced. Tronesisia nodded, remembering how Snowy use to sit static beside Woody’s house when she first arrived in town.

But there was an additional problem to tackle: the issue of the portal animal needed to actually pass through the gateway. Wheeler stated to Baker Bloch that The Musician held a fox to effect the transition (but which we later find out is really a dingo resembling a fox — still a portal dog). And then a bit later in our story we learned that snakes such as Old Colin Hiss could be used for the same. Woody asked his key about the matter and received an answer. “Such an animal has already been given to you by one no longer with us,” he says to Tronesisia. She goes back to Baker Blinker’s Gloomy Gus to ponder on this, and then received the Eureka moment about 3am in the morning. “Aspinwall!” she cried.

The next day Tronesisia phoned up Baker Bloch and Woody and declared that she was ready. They meet at the smaller version of the sealed city outside Woody’s house. Snowy doesn’t join them this time. “What’s in the cigar box?” asked Baker Bloch, but then realized what it had to be. He looks at Woody who gives him a wink back. “She’s figured it out, my main man. She’s figured it out.”

Tronesisia unlinks.

Tronesisia touches.

Tronesisia passes through.

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Another 02

Woody had justed booted up his computer when he saw it outside. “Hmm, I don’t remember that being there before.” He went out to check.”


“Come over here Snowy Snowmanson. See what you can make of this.” The recently animated snowman complied.

“Another key world, you say? Just what *I* was thinking. It says ‘sit to enter’ in the text on the top. Shall we?”

“Whoa, Snowy. Where are we *now*??” Woody looks around at the landscape between the buildings. “Is this *Mars*?”


Woody next took Baker Bloch up. “No, it isn’t Mars,” he expresses. “I think it might be Muff. Wheeler has given me some graphic details about the place she and The Musician were trapped in for a while last month. This looks like what she was talking about. Sealston, eh? Maybe another world within a world.”

“Snowy thinks a key is here. We have an opinion.”

Baker Bloch glances over at the snowman, taking its recent animation in stride. Woody has powers, yes. “Please share.”

Woody begins. “The central avenue — not boulevard — of the sealed sity heads directly to the big cave mouth, yes?” Baker didn’t know this, but agreed anyway. “Yet you cannot reach the mouth because of the force field surrounding us. Sealston is named for a reason. And there’s another, different building next to the cave, gray as well. You cannot reach it either. We are inside. They are outside. But if you look closely — here, better walk over and I’ll show you. Snowy, you stay here next to the entrance point and alert us if anyone else comes up.”


“See, this avenue –2nd Avenue Snowy and I are calling it — ends at the outside building. The next one over, 1st or Main or Central — Snowy desires Central or Main, I say First…”

“Go on,” encourages Baker.

“… is the one that leads directly to the cave. But this building is sealed up as well. If you look closely, the rocks around the cave seem to block up its only entrance. So what does that mean?”

Baker didn’t know. But he did understand that this “cave” could be the portal back to Bermingham, as Wheeler also described. Tronesisia might not need that rocket ship to find Bendy after all. Better break the news gently to Karoz. He’s worked so hard on it the past week.

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On the main Bermingham beach, Orange Nova ponders dying and being so stupid about the last days of his physical existence. A boy walks up and stares at the back of the ghost white man-shark sitting on the other side of a rock, listening to him ranting on. George again.

He eavesdrops for quite a while, attempting to piece together the bare-bones story of the newcomer. George understands that he had his own realm, his kingdom, and somehow lost it through treachery. The word “bludgeoned” came up several times, always with forced pronunciation. Surprise attack in the night. It rang a bell for the lad. Also: something about cherry trees.

The boy introduces himself by answering a question the creature had just asked himself. “The place is called Bermingham, mister. The greater half of Muff and Bermingham. Not to be confused with Mutt and Jeff. That’s just Muff again.” He walks up to Orange Nova and, without fear, sits down beside the huge creature.

“At least I can feel the ground over here. The sand. Water? Let me test it.” Orange rises up and wades into the sea before him, but runs into some kind of invisible barrier about 15 feet out. He tries and tries to walk through it.

“No use, mister. That’s the end of *this* realm. Realm of Bermingham.” The boy waits for a logical response but still gets none. He begins to understand that this man-shark might be a little slow as he watches him continue attempting to break through an impenetrable barrier. Not that he judges — just an observation. “You might as well stop,” he repeats. “You’ll never get past it. Come on up to the shore here with me. Talk to me. Tell me who you are and a little about yourself.” Yes, the kid was much wiser than the grown-up in this case. He was use to being a counselor for the confused.

“You say there’s no use in keeping trying?” Orange Nova repeats back.

“No,” says George patiently. The creature finally turns around and waddles back to shore.

They sit together in silence for a time. Then Orange Nova began. “I was killed. Treachery. I was owner of my own realm, or close to it. Orange. My name is Orange Nova. I am one of the Novas they use to call super. You probably have heard of me.”

“No,” lies George. He knows who this is now. “It could be that you’re just famous in your *own* realm, not here. It could be,” he continued slyly,” that no one will know you here atall. There’s a good chance.”

“That wouldn’t be good. I rule through power and respect. If no one knows me — if I’m a nobody — then I’m nothing. I have zilch.”

“Not true,” responds the child. “You have yourself and your own consciousness and that’s always present. You are yourself here.”

Orange Nova remained addled. “I am my own self here?” He had a bad habit of repeating back anything anyone said that didn’t make sense to him. Which was quite a lot.

“Yes. Look around.” George waves his arm. “Newcomer’s Beach, the Magenta Sea, Master Duncan Avocado’s place over there.” George indicates his friend’s house to their left.

“This is what you have now. This is all yours. This is all ours. We are the dead and the unborn. I prefer the latter, but I’ve been here a while. Not too long to get back now.” But he knew his words would mean little to Orange Nova.

Ignoring what the boy had just said, Orange proclaims he is hungry, and asks what there is to eat around this dump. George explains that there’s no need to eat here. “No eating, no defecation. The whole digestive system has been ripped out, hehe. You can breath underwater too. You can fly. You can pass through walls, if not the wall that separates this realm from others. You have more powers here than you did before, even if you don’t realize it now. Trust me, it will come. Perhaps sooner for some than others but it will come.”

George stared steadily at Orange Nova now and the expression on his face, his aura. He’d give this one about a thousand years before a return.

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No workout

Baker Bloch knew something he could do to perhaps help immediately. There was one too many of the same color within the sphere. He transformed into King Orange and teleported over to his house in Saturn. Greater Malefic, opposite Tronesisia’s positively charged Rose MoonDream cottage. Realm of Oranges which should be just Realm of Orange.

He takes one last gulp of wine through his forehead and begins the process. The King knew Orange Nova usually woke up about 7 and headed over to Muscle Madness to begin his daily 10 hour workout. It was 5 now. This was a window.

He goes outside. “Eclipse nightclub,” he thinks, staring in its direction. “Damn fine goblets of wine.” He then peers further, just around the corner. White house.

Orange — the *fake* Orange — would be sleeping upstairs in its only furnished room. *Barely* furnished. This should be simple.


Goblet raised, King Orange strikes.

And strikes again. And strikes again and again. And again.


Orange Nova turns from blue to white. At 7 sharp he walks out of his house toward Muscle Madness, chained to a routine even after death.

He can’t pick up weights. He can’t sit on the benches. He can’t do anything.

Morris shows up.

“I’m the last person anyone wants to see in their lives,” he admits. “But it has to be done. Come with me Orange Nova. You’re time has arrived.”

Morris changes into a wolf and leads him through the portal to the Great Beyond.

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