Category Archives: 0003

Anton

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“So this is another one of your disguises Wheeler.”

“Yes. Baker Bloch,” she answered. “But call me Wilson (when I’m like this). Or Wheeler — whatever. So… you have information about Doreena.”

“She is called Doflia now,” states Keat Owens. “Reborn on January 15th of this year. She has Mad Max hair, (and) Apocalyptic Female top, shorts and boots.”

“She has turned into a monster,” Wheeler-as-Wilson speculates.

Not really. Come to the map with me. “We can teleport through the pin.

—–

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“Not there,” states Keat Owens. “Let’s check Yvonnee.”

—–

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“Often right here, but it’s late in the night, almost dawn. To quote Billy Corgan: ‘They only come out at night.'”

“Close enough. Speaking of which,” says Wheeler. “I must begin preparing for the next Table meeting.”

“So you’re going with the forward Pumpkintwisters direction?” Wheeler nods. “Over the backwards Billfork direction?” Wheeler keeps nodding. Keat Owens reapplies one of his hands to his chin in a thoughtful manner. “There’s one more avatar we’re keeping an eye on, only known as Anton. I don’t have a direct landmark yet but he’s in Anson. Obviously another one named for their inhabiting sim. We’ll have to approximate (the landmark).”

—–

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Not what they were expecting.

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—–

Afterwards:

“Damn! Crashed again.”

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Just after that:

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Walls

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“Let’s see. What book did you say you were looking for Old Mabel? Hee hee.”

After walking around the walls and ceiling of the fairy house for a couple of minutes to demonstrate her powers, Urch then showed them another mystery out in the side yard.

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The picture of the flaming yellow haired cartoon was gone. One depicting brick walls took its place, a maze of walls, actually, that you could *move around in*. Urch described it as the vast grounds of Rooster Springs Backwoods Institute, where she claimed to have attended school back in the ’60s. “Psychedelic days,” she called them. “Secured my kaleidoscope eyes there.” Old Mabel gasped at this.

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As she navigated the seemingly endless maze while Old Mabel and Keat Owens looked on (a*mazed* — sorry), Urch revealed she’s been searching for something within for quite some time now. “Let’s call it a key to unlocking a man trapped in a Santa suit,” she explained. This made Old Mabel think of Jiff and the queer Santa demon he saw a couple weeks ago. While she was pondering this association, she realized Urch had stopped moving around the maze to turn and stare at her. “You know something.”

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More

He was at the table now, asking me to join him on his side. We were done with the Nautilus City map. He said we were waiting for someone but wouldn’t say who. He said we could play chess against the house in the meantime. I imagined both of us leaning against the outside of the fairy building, awkwardly holding a board between us. I told him this vision. He said, “No, against *the house*.” He waved his arms all around. A chessboard then appeared on the table before us, white pawn moved to King 4 in an opening move. “I’ve never able to beat her myself,” says this new Keat Owens. “But maybe with your help we can give her a run for her money. And she *is* expensive, my dear.” I told him I didn’t know how to play chess, and we do not have that game on Mars where I’m from. He said he’d do most of the work. It was over in 13 moves. The board disappeared. The new Keat Owens cussed a word I won’t repeat here. I didn’t learn a lot about the game except to note the power of the pieces and the general nature of their motions. I knew that the Queen was the most powerful and not to be f*cked with, to use the language of Owens. Then a person I had met once before came into the room, an ovoid portal appearing on his or her head chest.

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VW(X)

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“Yes come in. Quickly, quickly,” another Keat Owens implored from within the fairy house. “There’s mysteries to solve. No doddling dear — there’s been enough of that. Well, come in,” he said again. “Leave the golf club outside, yes.”

Old Mabel goes up the stairs and then leans the iron gently against the house just outside its railing. Taking one last glance over at Keat Owens Joker, she passes through the door she just opened.

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—–

“Yes, well…?” a similarly rushed Baker Bloch asks later at the Joker’s Wild Bar. Furry Karl was still under the weather. Rhoda remained the bartender for now.

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“We stared at the Nautilus City map for a while. The position of Doreena, Yvonne, and, um, this new person or entity we haven’t heard about before named Anton, were marked with red pins. Keat Owens Jack, as we’ll call him…”

“… because his suit is like Jack’s across the way…”

“Right, Baker Bloch. So this Keat Owens Jack then says Doreena has unexpectedly changed her name and appearance, and that this is more work of Mid Hazel the witch. Her “do’n’s” is how he put it. And Spider was in the corner of the small room beside us; forgot to mention that. He’s still spouting out or uttering or speaking those 4 numbers over and over, like you described before when he was with Carrcassonnee.”

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“Slightly before your time here in Collagesity, yes. Interesting. When did you wake up?”

“I was just staring at the pin representing Anton — more at my eye level — and a picture of what you call a Volkswagen Beatle at the bottom of the sea entered my mind. I stared at the completely algae covered car for quite some time. It was sad. Then I was jolted back to reality by the start of ‘Revolution No. 1’ on my player. That’s from the ‘White Album’. The more graceful ‘Long Long Long’ precedes it there. Then afterwards we have ‘Honey Pie’ and the horn laden ‘Savoy Truffle’.”

Old Mabel’s really getting into this Beetles research, Baker then thinks. Too absorbed? Well, she’s preparing for the next Table meeting, which is scheduled for tomorrow night if Wheeler can pry herself away from her new infatuation — her New Island. That seems to be a danger: Wheeler may be imprisoned by this new threat named Mid Hazel forever and ever on that island. Baker then noticed Old Mabel is staring at him.

“Thinking about other things?” she asks.

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Doorstep

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She’d made it to the fairy house! All Old Mabel had to do was switch out a wood with an iron. Simple. “Hello in there,” she spoke to Keat Owens The Joker positioned beside the door. “Anyone home?” No answer. She gently tapped her iron several times against his chest.

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“Stop doing that and get inside,” a muffled voice then issued from within. Old Mabel retracted the iron. Keat Owens’ face remained motionless behind the Joker card. “They’re waiting for you. *I* waited for you. Go ahead, go on….” Old Mabel heeded the command.

She noticed a picture of a cartoon man with yellow hair above the green table in the side yard before ascending the stairs.

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“Roostre,” she said while waking up.

—–

“Next time I’m just going to walk into the fairy house, Baker Bloch, and not attempt communication with The Joker.”

“Probably a good idea,” Baker responded. He was trying out a black beer tonight. “Incremental entry. I don’t think I’ve personally had a dream like that. Serial.” Something then seemed to be clawing on the roof of the bar. “What’s that?”

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“Um, probably just the wind?” But Old Mabel had started looking around for a light switch.

Rhoda knew what it was. And he knew about Roostre. He wisely kept his mouth shut concerning all that mentioned stuff tonight. Dreams, pheh.

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Try 02

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Armed with a golf club Dutch had recommended, Old Mabel was now past the pink flowers and at the west mouth of the big log. She peered down the circular tunnel, ready for action. But no demons appeared within or on the other side.

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Instead her attention was drawn to the dust bunny fairy house Dutch had also told her about.

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She cautiously walked up to the door…

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… and found Keat Owens as The Joker beside it, just as Dutch had described. But she then somehow got caught back inside the log while trying to approach him.

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—–

Old Mabel woke up. She’d have to try again another night.

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Slide ‘n’ Glide

“Dutch has appeared to me several times in reality. None in dreams. That’s kind of odd in itself.”

“Maybe,” returns Baker Bloch. He was nursing a bottle of Honey Brown lager. Old Mabel was trying out the bar’s green tea and finding it acceptable. Rhoda was subbing in for an under-the-weather Furry Karl tonight, which was surprising to Baker. “Rhoda?” he said, drawing the cyan ovoid flattie toward him.

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“Yes sir. What’ll it be?”

“No, I’m fine with my lager still. I’m just wondering.” He paused, thinking about how to put it, and then just blurting the idea out. “I… I though you were dead.”

“No sir. Just working in another town. Bennington… ever heard of it?”

“Through Furry Karl, yeah. But weren’t you kind of, um, merged with the ballerina and Starbucaneer and then killed by that airplane crashing into the latter’s establishment about 3 months back?”

Rhoda thought hard. He did remember dying now. Several times. Many times. “I’ve been shot, stabbed, burned, crushed. Yes, I now recall that part of my existence. It all started back in Bennington with my head being sliced in two by Old Kent. You know, the shark. The thing with the fin on his back. The one who has trouble walking around on land. Has to slide and all.”

“Yes,” replies Baker. “I remember Old Kent. So you’re…” He paused again.

Rhoda helped him out once more. “I’m also peculiar because I’m a true flattie in reality and also here in this Second Lyfe of yours. Unlike, say, your Tin S. Man, your Spongebub or, um, well Furry Karl, although he doesn’t have fur in the real world.” Rhoda thought of a better example. “And like, say, Lisa Simpson.”

Baker thought back to how many other “12 Oz Mouse” characters had appeared in Collagesity, and how they compared to Rhoda’s appearance in same. There’s Old Kent, obviously, although he’s more actual shark-like here. Then Carrcassonee herself claims to be Fitz Mouse, the star of the show. And she says that her Spider is another incarnation of Fitz’s sidekick Skillet, although Spider is a chihuahua and Skillet is a squirrel. He thought. Baker then just posed the question to Rhoda.

“You remember Fitz Mouse, Skillet, and others at the, er, Cardboard City?” Baker took another sip of lager.

“Bennington, yeah,” replied Rhoda, who had begun moving away from Baker and Old Mabel but then returned.

“Well, if you’ll excuse me,” Old Mabel said. “I’ve got to run over to the Bodega market across the way and get some bread before I return home.” In truth, she was getting a little frustrated by Baker’s lack of focus tonight. She had important things to mull over about Dutch before starting to dream tonight, which was inevitable. Could she truly pass through the eastern gates of her home later tonight in dreams and find out what Dutch had been calling a “secret society”?

“Alright Old Mabel,” responded Baker. I’ll walk you home afterwards.” He again noticed the headphones around her neck. “How’s the Beetles listening going?”

Old Mabel was glad to have the attention shift back to her. “Fine, fine. I’m up to ‘Walls and Bridges’ now in my circumnavigation of John Lennon’s solo material. “Then it’ll be back to ‘Plastic Ono Band’ for another pass. Per your recommendation I skipped over the Ono tainted ‘Some Time in New York,’ despite the flattie recently appearing in the Blue Feather having that t-shirt.”

“The New York City t-shirt, yeah,” clarifies Baker. He was there when the Mykall Skall flattie appeared basically out of nowhere, matching the manifestation of Lennon and the rest of the Beetles walking Abbey Road on the wall into the Table Room. “Lennon knows about us.”

“I *know*,” states Old Mabel, getting excited about that idea again.

Rhoda had moved away now. Talk about Bennington and his fellow citizens could wait for another night. Plus: how to even explain it all? “Anything else for you bud?” he asked the back of Curled Paper’s Heineken loving nephew Raymond while passing by. No answer. “Guess not.” Rhoda continued gliding toward the far corner of the bar to start locking up for the night.

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Stuck

As Dutch advised, she was beyond the gate now, but caught in some kind of solid growth of pink flowers.

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On the far edge of the flowers from the gate was lodged the marble head of Dutch’s human form: Detective/Chef Keat Owens, who everyone thought was burned to death in Collagesity North by grey alien Jerome T. Newton over a week back.

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Turns out the marble hands left behind were only a prop. And now Old Mabel, in a dream state, has uncovered the accompanying stone head. But she can progress no further tonight, although she caught a glimpse of this green table just beyond the entrapping flowers.

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Dream

“Oh dear. Still there,” says Old Mabel, walking around her Minoan home this morning. That could only mean one thing.

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She continues to circumnavigate the grounds…

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Front gate.

… then spies this new spectacle just past the lighthouse. A big colorful, half hidden eye…

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… whose pupil flickered back and forth at a rapid pace. It sat just above and beyond a side gate of the property leading to Collagesity North. The formerly closed portal was now open.

A huge blue whale flew over her head as she was pondering whether to pass through the gate, briefly blocking out the sun.

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The eye both beckoned and warned. What would she choose?

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—–

Old Mabel woke up. She had nodded off while listening to Beetles music again and working on another page of her journal (concerning Lucky). Across from her stood a brown being whose head almost touched the ceiling.

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Old Mabel removed her headphones, which were blaring out Lennon’s “No. Nine Dream” off his “Walls and Bridges” solo project from the mid-70s. “Dutch, I presume,” she said, feigning calm amidst the surprise appearance.

“Who else?” he said in a deep voice appropriate for his size and raising all four hands simultaneously.

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No. Nine

Old Mabel takes a break from listening to Beetles music to write in her journal.

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Dear Journal,

Yesterday we learned that the masked Librarian who has been sitting at The Table for one month is actually supposedly deceased detective/chef Keat Owens, who is actually and *really* a giant 4 handed fireproof creature (besalisk) named Dutch. Dutch also knows Unch, but we don’t understand the exact relationship yet. Wheeler is musician David Bowie is grey alien Jerome T. Newton.

I continue to have cursed dreams. A huge lusty red robot named Steve looming over the Collagesity public library and wishing to chat about robolution and ballerinas. Caucasian Tommy Brade and Even Whiter Walt at a bar talking sports and drugs on Meeting Flat, where I first saw Unch. So many more — the oval portal, yes. I think it is controlled now by plant people mentioned in Journal 2, which may be the same as the forest trees, or perhaps a particular species, maybe the eucalyptus, or maybe just the *big* eucalyptus. Or maybe just the big eucalyptus at 125/125.

My feelings for Baker Bloch continue in a different direction. He stayed with me until sunset day before yesterday, when I had a little, I mean, a tiny too much to drink. He did not hold me. 😦 I haven’t heard from Jiff or his girlfriend Brenda in over a week. Carrcassonnee — yes, I’ve dreamed about her as well. She wishes to communicate, obviously. She has wise words to say about Unch.

The Great Wall is an asp.

That is all for now. Goodbye and goodnight.

(I forgot to mention Lucky. Another night.)

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