Category Archives: 05

he who holds the honeymustard has no say

“They lived by a great swamp. Today it would be called a wetland. But it was a textbook swamp. Crystal clear water, sandy bottom. Salamanders everywhere.”

I was waiting for someone wearing a trench coat but instead got Biff Carter, with only a vest. It was a nice vest, though, very retroactive and film noir-ish in a Ray Chandler type of way. I knew the man sometimes inhabiting Biff was a fan, just as *I* was a fan of the man sometimes inhabiting the man. I need to keep READing (his stuff). Honeypot — Pooh pulling. Red Umbrella: Pooh is holding in a corner as far away from centre as possible. The purple and yellow honey pot in a blue cart; noisily bouncing along the grainy, rough-hewed sidewalk of a town also in the Middle of it all. Middletown, US of A, with the Green (City) on one farside and the Gray(s) on another. Farside — another relation to the man inside the man. Fox Island. Swamp — Swamp Fox. It was all coming together. Or completely falling apart — I knew it was one or the other but didn’t know which yet. Biff Carter slid into the booth again, starting over. This was take 21. Director Bob Waffleburg was a perfectionist like his hero Stanley K. but not Stanley Kowalski. He’s different.

“I was — expecting someone else.”

“I know you were, I know you were,” he said. Biff Carter tended to repeat everything twice. At least on this take. He was tired of takes. He was ready to go home to his lovely wife Rowanda and play with his kids Sven and Duplexitous of 7 and 5 years old respectively. Duplexitous especially had skills in reading and math, although Sven was a wiz on the tracks and fields. They all mattered to him greatly. But filming paid for their swanky educations and star studded outfits and costumes. He needed to keep acting. Or at least accin, to use a Jim Jarmusch term. He makes a mental note to return to the Centerville concept and explore it more. But to the acting (or accin).

“I was told something about a trench coat. Did you forget?” Sandy Beech was *acting* offscript now. Bob told him to improvise when the moment felt right. Bob Waffleburg trusted his lead actor in this way. The 35 year old former used car salesman *using* Biff Carter for his arms and legs and torso and head and other bits right now was a bit more of an unknown. *He* was holding them back this time, not Alice Frame playing Wendy O’Donnell or something. Wait, it was Wendy something but not O’Donnell. Not yet — they hadn’t shot those scenes. That was her acting partner in that other film we’re trying to lure her away from. The one with all the Popeyes gathering together to gawk at the splashy, stormy sea. “Burger Wars” was a working name, and involved Alice Frame’s Wendy caught in a love triangle between King Winnifried Orange and Clown Renaldo O’Donnell. Then the hurricanes hit, and, yes, I said hurri*canes*, because there were two at once. (“Burger Wars” director) Chip Wassleboro tended to repeat as well when he got tired. And he wrote that part of the script about 2:01 in the morning before last Wednesday’s Monday’s Tuesday. So it was Thursday.

Then Sugar O’Cotton showed up, 10 minutes late. “Mind if I slide in?” she squeaked to now booth mate Pervimus Rex while doing just that. Pervimus couldn’t reply anyway since he wasn’t real.

“You know these spots on my blouse might look like blood stains but they’re really ketchup.” Still no answer.

(to be continued?)

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Filed under **VIRTUAL SL, 0021, 0504, Cass City+, Maebaleia/Satori

upstairs

“50 thousand lindens. *50* *1000*…”

“I heard you,” Wendy spat back. “W-why would I want to give up my chance for stardom in this Popeye film and put all my marbles *here*? I’ve *been* here. I worked with Bob Waffleburg before — *we* did.”

“Just put on the dress and we’ll see,” encouraged Sandy Wannabe, still not fully character-actor Sandy Beech but getting there.

Wendy was thinking she *has* on a dress — but she complies. It was a lot of money.

—–

*There*.

“Hmm. Needs more blood,” he opines, fully transformed now with the sight. Inwardly he was thinking: this looked good! They were about ready to get down to some serious business.

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Filed under **VIRTUAL SL, 0021, 0503, Apple's Orchard, Jeogeot, NWES Island

Wendy City

It is happening again.

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Filed under **VIRTUAL SL, 0021, 0502, Apple's Orchard, Jeogeot, NWES Island

back!

Crack reporter Tulsa’s headlining newspaper article for the NWES Gazette turned out to be laughable. Carrcassonnee was not dead; Gill Alex made sure of that. Overnight, he established Collagesity’s Temple of TILE in Marwood along with reassembling the great olive being’s 6 body pieces back together, with the 7th, eye, being worked on. Once that’s done, it’s done! The 7th is always tricky but I’m sure he’ll manage it. After all, this is the former Little Robert Plant Variant we’re talking about here, who was from quite nearby Nowtown which destroyed even closer, neighboring Zen City with an atomic bomb called the Tall Cool One, elsewhere: Kevin. I can’t make this stuff up. It happened! But that is zen and this was now. Um.

In fact I have an old map of Jeogeot to help prove all this, showing the position of Nowtown and Zen City on what’s called The Claw of the continent, with the sprawling NWES metropolis forming a number of years later just NW of Zen City. There may even be some past-present overlap between the two. And to make things even stranger, the old city of Sternberg also marked on this map is now the site of NWES City’s parallel, somewhat smaller sister burg centered in the Xenosaur sim. Our Second Lyfe still produces quite amazing coincidences! And to add even more, Sternberg was where Little Robert Plant Variant gave up his tube, but I jump ahead of myself too far. We first have to understand why Page didn’t go along with the Sunklands Initiative at the time, unwilling to disengage from the, by now, radioactive Zeppelin brand. Plant, both 16 and 59 at once, worked alone after that.


Carrcasssonnee: almost ready to speak again.

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Filed under **VIRTUAL SL, 0021, 0501, Black Ice, Jeogeot, Marwood, Neptune, NWES Island, Somerset, Temple of TILE

Toppsity Stargate

“Another one coming through the portal, mum. Iris-Beach again.”

“Queer. The third one in three days from that location.” Ever-sister ponders the significance of this triple manifestation. “Better alert the witches.” The Tronesisia problem has been removed, she considers. But more trouble could be brewing. Three is always the sign of a rival coven.

The crushed can transferred over with a clank clankity clank landing. Coke this time. Sprite, Mountainy Dew, Coke. There can be no doubt.

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Filed under **VIRTUAL SL, 0020, 0517, Heterocera, Iris, Maebaleia/Satori, Toppsity-

smoking buddies

“What do you think, Charlie?” strumming Roger Pine Ridge asked about his new song. “It’s a little more optimistic than my usual fare,” he explains further. “Call it ‘(Life is a) Beach’. Grass and Flip requested it — something more upbeat and lighter to work on, they told me. So I’m just writing about where I am. Right now in my life. Here. Just gotta think of some rhymes to go along with the the music.”

“Fine, fine,” states Charlie, only half listening, with the other half thinking about Margret, aka Poetry. Where was she tonight? Still stuck back in time, in the past. 1950’s still? Maybe even back — dare I think of it — to 1921? Where does that leave *me*? With Aloha? What the hell is Aloha?

Stopping the motion of his pick, Roger picked up on his friend’s concerns. “Don’t worry about Poetry, Charlie Banana. Where there’s a wall there’s a bridge. He starts the song over again, synchronistically thinking of another chord progression he could add to complete the bridge and the music as a whole.

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Filed under **VIRTUAL SL, 0020, 0516, Heterocera, Iris

Wheel of Unfortune

Tronesisia was dead. How could 72 windows in an underwater train break at once? Kevin A. Orchardsity pondered from a couch in a Toppsity boutique he was shopping for clothes at. But he knew none of them would fit as well as his READ outfit, the one given to him by Umbrella. Or something. He *could* testify against Yoko Ona himself. He knew about Paperville; he had important evidence to provide for the trial. Black witch indeed, too late to save from drowning. Because that had already happened to Judge Tronesisia. Shame. He was hoping to ask her for a favor down the road — when his own trial came up. Maybe it won’t happen now. Maybe he can strike a deal with the information he has at hand. Paper covers rock, true, but scissors cuts paper as everyone also knows. So as long as rock is out of the way — and it is (Tronesisia was dead) — he might be okay in the long run. He could turn that waterfall of a mouth Gabby Truth in.

“Cut!” shouted the man behind the camera. “That was great, Stanley. Now one more take, and this time cover the first letter, people. We want this to be a clear A B C/1 2 3 situation. Kevin Orchardsity would appreciate that.”

—–

Tronesisia was dead. How could 72…

“Cut cut cut,” interrupted Penn Mann, checking the new angle in the monitor.

—–

“Okay, one more time.” This will have to do, the famed director thinks to himself, wishing now he would have hired a less buff actor than Stanley K. for the role.

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Filed under **VIRTUAL SL, 0020, 0515, Maebaleia/Satori, Toppsity-

What’s in a name?

Like this dude, he wished his brother had had a funeral with a fine coffin and many flower arrangements spread about to honor him.

The fact that he didn’t (the mass grave again) came to be laid at the feet of a certain person for Gabby. The wrong one. This was witchery as well.

“Get her,” he spoke back to Marilyn, looking at the wrong side of the name and the trees still burning beyond.

“I’ll (*coo*), *try.*”

—–

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Filed under **VIRTUAL SL, 0020, 0514, Maebaleia/Satori, Toppsity-

elementary

They had to walk and it took them a long time. Finally they reached what was considered by many the northernmost city of Maebaleia’s Deep South. Or Satori I guess I should say, since the North won the 3 1/2 day war (Real Time). I think. Depends on which way the black hole spins for ya I suppose. For me it was retrograde, which means…

“Gabby,” Amos Truth rasps from within the cell. It had been 20 weeks (2 1/2 weeks Real Time) since the last fire. Gabby thought he would be through it all by this point. Usually is. 6 times this has happened, he thinks, staring at his burnt crisp of a brother. “Gabby,” he sputtered again in that sickly, smokey hiss. “I want you to — do — me, a — favor.” He then paused; Gabby leaned in to hear better. “Anything brother of mine. Do you want me to kill the person who did this to you? Can I *finally* do that? I can’t stand to see you this way.”

“Gabby,” he coughed and wheezed again. “I want you to…”

Amos Truth died that day in the no. 3 cell of the Toppsity Police Department. No revival would happen this time. The pain had gone on too long.

I can’t fight fire with fire with these *witches*,” Gabby seethed afterwards, watching them cart the remains of his brother away from the station and toward the mass grave out next to the old Wal Mart off Route 8. “I’ll have to drown them instead.”

He knew he’d have to see Marilyn next. Mrs. Niagara.

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Filed under **VIRTUAL SL, 0020, 0513, Maebaleia/Satori, Toppsity-

return?

Gabby Truth gave Judge Tronesisia a ride back to Toppsity from Cassandra City, since it was his destination as well. No need for the underwater train today. Relief! Tronesisia liked to stay on the surface of things; not get too deep. What if a window broke and her compartment flooded. Rust! The enemy of all antiquated mechanoids, with her as no exception. Gabby gabbed a considerable amount, of course, but it was definitely worth it. She decided to use a lot of head nodding early on. Then she nodded off completely for a while as Gabby talked on and on about scrying devices, his new car, the weather, the strange flu of course — everyone’s favorite topic these days. He must have talked 15 minutes about the significance of the number 19 in her reading, and also Paper. He probably talked 20 more minutes about wedding anniversary gifts starting with Paper and ending with Diamond. Unlike his speedy Little Bastard car, it took him a long time, then, to go from 0 to 60, ha ha.

But then, the witches get the last laugh (as usual). Road block. Literally, a huge block of plywood in the road. Witches sometimes aren’t very subtle in their messaging. Looks like Yoko Ona’s trial will have to be postponed yet another day.

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Filed under **VIRTUAL SL, 0020, 0512, Cass City+, Maebaleia/Satori, Toppsity-