Category Archives: Estate

Walsh County (Pitch Darkly)

“Look dear, I caught another one (!).”

“Hold on, Mary. Hold on. It’s Baker calling.”

“Baker? Hi!”

(reply)

“Yeah, we’re getting along great. A little cold of course but it is North–”

(reply)

“What was that? Hold on, let me take this darn Russian cap off with the ear flaps and all.”

—–

“Okay go ahead, sir.”

(reply)

“Yeah, I heard that now.” He covers the phone with his hand and whispers over to fishing Mary. “Baker says he needs to talk to us as soon as we get back to town.” He listens again…

(reply)

“Mary Ball, eh? Well that’s *one* of her names.”

(reply)

“George, right.” He removes the phone from his ear but doesn’t cover the face up this time while saying over to his wife in a louder voice: “He wants to know how you acquired the Killing Shack, you know, the one over in Epping Woods.”

“Why does he want to know that?” She was happy fishing right now. She didn’t want to be reminded of that horrendous past on her well deserved vacation. Calm, she said to herself. Caalllmm.

“I’ll ask him.” Phone to bare ear again. “Baker, what’s going on?”

(reply)

“Virginia neck country again, eh? Just like with—”

(reply)

“Dead ball era, huh? That’s *my* era, where I came from. Where the *ERA* was real low, he he. Get it? My era. My ER–”

(reply)

“Okay, thanks. See you when we get back.”

(reply)

“We will. Thanks.” And Baker Bloch hangs up on the other side.

—–

“Did you mention the antipoison?”

“No,” Baker responds to Hucka. “I thought he’d had enough to chew on today.”

“Agreed I suppose. So we’re on for next Tuesday?”

“8 o’clock sharp.”

(to be continued)

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00420216 (original shock)

And this is where we came in.

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gone bye bye

In this “Amazing Digital Circus” teaser, ringmaster Caine directly references Kane (Pixels) and his famed Back Room bacteria creature. Knew it.

And then there’s the abstracted Kaufmo clown character from the pilot, who some spell as Cofmo. Including me here. Poor Cofmo. But good guy (?) Caine takes care of the immediate danger for himself and his still intact circus employees by banishing the poor transmogrified creature to an underworld, underwater realm.

“Honey? Honey? Snap out of it again. Look at me look at me. Honey?”

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00420213

“King Rodney,” the Shadow spoke. He turned, confronted it.

“Me? I’m no king. I’m just a ruler of a country, democratic in nature. Now, anyways.”

“The Country of Morrow. Otherwise: Cofmo.”

“Well, yeah. That’s it. A country, not a kingdom.”

“But you train ants. I mean, you have ant warriors. In your fort — make that: forts.”

“Use to. When I was a kid I suppose. Now I’m they’re grown up. I have adult games to play.”

“So I’ve heard,” the Shadow spoke. A pause, then: “What year is it, ruler of Cofmo? I mean, can you sit in a diner with a white girl or even an Asian girl and get away with it? Can you listen to the Everly Brothers blaring from a jukebox? Or do you have to settle for Fats Domino?”

“I… don’t know. 1984 I guess. Last I checked. What time do *you* think it is? Shadow. My Shadow I’m supposing.”

“Correct. You are just confronting yourself. Because this is a dream. I know something that you need to know. About the abstracting.”

“The what?” And he woke up.

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Old Hen

Newt looked down after he’d finished, deep in thought. “Amazing,” he finally spoke. “What in blue blazes did I just eat?”

Wendy beamed a smile at him, just like on the logo. “It’s called a *hot dog*.”

“A *what* dog?”

“A hot dog. Made from the freshest ingredients. No pig anuses if that’s what you’re thinking.”

“I wasn’t thinking that at all (!).”

“Nor snouts, nor hooves. Only mechanically separated meat byproducts — I’ve been told to call it muscle trimming.”

“It’s humans,” Newt deadpanned. “Isn’t it?”

“*No*. Ridiculous man.”

“Okay,” he said, standing up and wiping his mouth with a napkin. “I’m going to have to do my research before we make a deal.”

—–

They were back at the Pink Hippo, name slightly changed to hide the innocent involved. “I did my research,” Newt started after he made his introduction. “I had to brainwash you into thinking our meeting never happened. Bottom line: *don’t* sell those things to the general public any more. I was right about the humans (!).”

Several people dancing nearby overheard the conversation. Soon it was all about town. Kangerootown would never have a Wendy’s in its midst, the name of the red topped establishment being sullied beyond repair. March turned out to be a really bad month of the year for the likewise red topped gal before him.

“Dance?” he said, trying to ease the pain. No smile now. Turn that upside down into a full out cry, which the dancers also recorded. Where’s the beef, Wendy? Where’s the beef?

Not in this reality as it turned out. *This* Wendy’s franchise was basically over before it started. Soon, quite soon, she would turn into a vegetarian and change the course of her life. But first we have to get her to Castle Town in the South.

(to be continued)

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00420105

They were preparing for battle, they were preparing for war. The Mann claimed to not be the same as Wayne Bruce who owned the manor but just an old neighbor doing a favor and house-sitting while he and and his “wonder boy” were away chasing arch-villians around the world, specifically Antarctica at the moment and possibly New Zealand. I checked back through the blog and saw that he indeed was a former neighbor over on the Corsica continent (Instabar sim). By the tone of his voice back then it didn’t seem he had much respect for the dynamic duo, this Batty Man and Superduper Guy. Old grudges tend to not alter that much over time.


March 03 2020: Batty Man and sidekick Superduper Guy arriving home in their noisy Battymobile while neighbor The Mann looks on disdainfully.

What else? Oh, the whole war/battle thing. Here’s some pics of the odd assortment of troops from a lower level of Redsland, closer to the ground for easier dispatchment when needed.

The conflict? Some call it the great Green-White War, others Green-Gray. No one knows exactly how or where or when it started but it extends over the entire known Universe by now in ever manifesting pockets here and there. Many are conscripted and don’t return home, either by death or by perpetual service. Martian Mabel’s big brother Little Big from photo-novel 02 was one of these. Mabel will never get over the loss, although she may put on a brave face nowadays. And here we come upon the legend of Plain Wayne, said to be killed in the war as well; slit in the throat by none other than our Wheeler back in her more evil days as directed by the powerful witch Mid-Hazel; event mentioned in photo-novel 03. Is Plain Wayne the same as mild mannered Wayne Bruce, alter ego for Batty Man? If so, why isn’t *he* dead? Mid-Hazel aka Hazel Wood would know if anyone. I’ll make a note to ask her later through some character or another; she now appears to be imprisoned somewhere in the innards of the manor with former formidable powers excised. More coincidence?

And here’s certainly another interesting twist. The Mann is actually Marsha “Pink” Krakow’s father as proven through the plot of photo-novel 19 where she’s 1st introduced. And now they interact again in the current photo-novel. Do either remember the other? Is The Mann, for example, so busy making sure the grounds are neat and tidy for Batty Man and partner Superduper Guy’s return that he doesn’t have time to recall who he really is? And it does indeed look super; Jack and Jill, however shady they are in other ways, are really skilled lawn care people.

And if The Mann is around that means Parasol his wife is too — I’d forgotten about that as well. His perfect Wo-mann, first rendezvousing with each other on the Fruity Islands back in photo-novel 12 and then properly tying the knot in photo-novel 24.


meeting in novel 12


marrying in novel 24

And here she is now, entering the manor room where The Mann is fingering through the first of Schubert’s 4 Impromptus in his own inept way, the only one he can play to any degree atall. He’d admit this ineptitude himself; would say Parasol is the true musician of the family. But then he might also thinks of drums — someone is talented with the sticks as well. Maybe he remembers Marsha during these moments, maybe it lies just beyond his consciousness still.

But Parasol certainly knows, also known as Red and, from the other side, Blue. She’s a bad speller and a wiz at the same in one.

“Where’s your *girl* today?” she tests once more.

“Girl *Friday*,” he responds defensively from the piano, inept fingering temporarily halted. “I hired her as a secretary; I have no interest in her otherwise.”

Still doesn’t remember, Parasol understands through this. She can keep her edge for now.

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March 19 2024

Sent away for at least a month, Patricia went back to hoeing at the retreat where she was staying.

“Shoo Storkie. Trying to work.”

But then she saw a snake and was glad Storkie hung around. Gobbled it down quick he did, eager for more than just plant food ’round these here parts. Lots of plants for all the vegetarians like Patricia living at the Zen compound; little kosher meat for the rest like the carnivorous animals and birds.

She tries to calm herself after the event by meditating, with Waterbuffaloie looking on and sniffing the air for more possible snakes around, not to eat but just to avoid as well. He’s a herbivore like Patricia. They get along swell and sometimes even eat with each other in the cold winter months, huddling together for warmth. Rhesus the wacky monkey sometimes joins them. Sometimes Fred the rat. But never Gertrude, a snootier cow from one of the Massachusetts super-capes, perhaps Nantucket but also perhaps not. No eating with the common types for her.

Meditation complete and a sense of calmness returned, she watches Storkie roam the garden looking for additional meat. He’d had a taste and he wanted more. One little ribbon snake — not filling enough.

Ribbons, hmm. I think I know how to work Patricia back into the main story. Change of a dress coupled with a change of address. Get her off the farm and back in the city working for The Mann.

—-

“All I can offer you currently is a 2 week temporary slot,” he said, thinking about the weeds that needed hoeing and the grass that needed mowing around his stately manor. Jill the regular gardener had come down with Pill. And lawn care partner Jack fell off the John Deere while mowing that steep hill. If she could do the work of both he’d keep her on, paying her half of what he did Jack plus Jill. The Mann only sees the bottom line, the profit margin. Typical.

“Are there snakes?” she asked.

“Bunches.”

“Sold?” And she extended her hand for a snake to seal the deal which she then fed to Storkie who had come with her from the country. Many more out on the grounds, he knew. Many many more.

“Just give him a fortnight to clean up the place and I’ll return,” came Patricia’s last term, which The Mann, not well versed in Shakespeare and other classics, accepted thinking that fortnight meant one night. Two weeks later she returned but Jack and Jill were back on the job by then and she and Storkie had to retreat again to the compound. “Sorry Storkie,” she said, but Storkie was so full of food he was at a loss for words. Back at the farm he remained stuffed for a while and soon the garden there was also overrun with serpents. If only there was a saint who could take care of this problem for her. She checked the calendar. March 16. One night, she said to herself. One night. 2 weeks later, being a career Shakespearian actor use to adjusting such mistakes, he showed up but Patricia had returned to the city by then.

“Open up in there!” she blared at the Secret Door Bookshelf, our circle of text complete. “Ooh. Penn. Uuupp!”

—–

She sat down. She changed into who she really was, dumping the last of the green and Patricia along with it. The shiny locomotive with the golden front still poked out the side of the Xmas Winter tree on the screen before her. Her index finger wavered over the DELETE key. If the train went, then so did the whole tree. Tree minus train = 1/2 of what it was.

“Do it,” said Tania now behind her on the small sofa. “Finish me off. Do. It.”

PRESS. She was alone in the golden or yellow Room in the center of the manor or villa. Wayne’s villa. And she a legit Waynesvillian now. She recalled Batcorn.

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00410604

“Not too bad for a one handed one legged pirate of the sea,” opined Libra Neptune, watching the ball fly far indeed. “Now do you see why I wanted you to play? The golf here is solid, it’s real.”

“You’re just ready to give it up, you say. Go back to St. Dennis.”

“Right, Black Pearl,” she spoke to the fellow golfer on her right, just out of camera shot above. “I think I can make a big difference now. Heck I might even open a course there if I can muster up the energy. The swamp surrounding the town could use some draining in my opinion. Just full of red neck hicks and alligators and snakes and so on. Useless, otherwise.”

“Hmm,” said Black Pearl to this, sensing a flaw in her morality chip, perhaps a carryover from those harsh harsh days of having to be a prostitute and all the difficulties it presents. Screws with your body, screws with your brains. She mentioned syphilis, and how it cleared up but took a while. Maybe this is some kind of lasting effect of that. Maybe… hmm, maybe that’s why she sold me the ship in the first place, Black Pearl thought, even though she revealed it was damaged later. Damaged like her…

“You’re next up Pearl… should I call you just Pearl?”

“Black Pearl is fine,” Black Pearl said back, always wanting to attach the color to the name lest she forget her own hardships. Both were driving the ball further than Libra by this point, even though they were relative novices. In truth, she was considerably older than she looked, with her son Scorpio Pluto now in his early 40s himself. So age played a part here, along with just sheer repetitiveness of the game. You lose your edge sometimes when you do something over and over and over. It was that way with sex for her, and now it was that way with golf for her. Time to try something else; did she have another chapter in her life?

Black Pearl drove her ball about 10 yards beyond Red Dead Beardy Head, inducing whistles of appreciation from the other 2. She was a natural.

—–

On a break between front and back 9’s, Black Pearl and Libra Neptune talked more while Red Dead washed his balls and theirs along with them. Libra unveiled her replacement plan to get back.

(to be continued)

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certain deaths

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00410512

“I found the ship at a golf course sim which was closing up — got a cheap deal on it for that reason. Plus it was a mess, all cracked up on those rocks over there as you can see from the photo.” Black Pearl provided a photo to Red Dead Beardy Head much like the one below where she is finagling the deal with a woman named Libra Neptune who, of all places, had ties to Saint Dennis. So it seems like she has the power to manifest such realities. I, the writer of this here blog and attached current photo-novel, had no idea the Black Pearl ship would be here too. A gift, we can call it, ‘nother one.

“How ’bout Davy Jones?” said Red Dead still beside her in bed, although it was a different night than before. Plans had advanced. The restored Black Pearl, ready for space as it would ever be, parked in the vacant lot in back of downtown. They were staying in the captain’s cabin, testing it out. Well stocked with Caribbean White Rum — good start.

“Not needed in this story,” she replied plainly about Jones, knowing what he was referring to. *Her* Black Pearl was different from Sparrow’s. This was from a woman’s perspective.

—–

They were walking into town for a morning drink and a bit of breakfast when Black Pearl spotted her walking below Parrots for Pirates.

“Libra??”

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