Tag Archives: Rock Ramby^*++++$

November 10, 2023 · 8:17 am

00400615

In the morning it was all smoke and ashes anyway, the central cabin never standing a chance surrounded by a burning ring of fire. Millbank was dead, at least for another 10 or 11 months or so. Rock and his entourage found a secret portal inside the spiritually juiced piano he was playing so they’re okay. Zapppa is the key. Zapppa.

Marsha “Pink” Krakow looked up from the text she had just typed, thinking: Did all this really make sense? The reference to Zappa’s Civilization Phaze III again and people living inside a piano that he was so eager to explore toward the end of his life? And what happened to my Oz novel everyone here was so keen on? That’s it! she realized. They didn’t come out in Big Sandy but in Oz. And Alice Farrowheart the precious precocious child’s grandmother along for the ride; not being excluded this time.

In fact let’s go back in time and change something else.

Quickly twirling and catching Prontus Archereus (Archerus?) by surprise, Dr. Mouse uses the power of his cane to instead open up a portal in the wall which swiftly sucks up the bow and arrow into an oblivion of no return. De-armed, crudely drawn cartoon character Prontus was powerless before the menacing man of action.

Marsha ponders removing Prontus’ actual arms in the picture above to continue the joke but decides against it. Too late in the night to start all that.

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November 9, 2023 · 4:21 pm

00400614

Once Mouse started blowing up stuff in the sim he couldn’t quite seem to stop. “There, that’s gone,” he said, pushing the red button in his secret monitor room atop the Charles Village Anti-Omega Rehabilitation Center and remotely watching the incinerator snow globe explode. “Gone gone gone,” he continued, blowing up the forest cemetery, the Chthulu possessed skyscrapers, the Millbank Mortuary and Mental Asylum in rapid order, including patient 00 in the latter, drugged with darts in his eyes and formaldehyde in his veins and arteries. He finds the final target on a screen, trigger happy cane again hovering above red. Haunted Trailer Park Welcome Center. Once he blows this up… oh, he forgot the cabin more in the center, the one where Rock found his true calling with the revealing of a middle name Roll. Is rocking “Roll” Ramby still playing within, unable to unglue himself from the old upright piano, former spider occupants all scurried away to other parts of the structure? Do Toddles, Vain and Artery Boyy, Alice Farrowheart remain as well, ears and eyes and brains hypnotized by the brand new style of keyboard banging music?

Rock stopped his frantic playing mid-bang. “I sense something.”

Then just in the nick of time, arrow shooting municipal agent Prontus Archereus barges into the monitor room. “Hold it right there Mouse!” he commands in a mysteriously strong, masculine voice for such a crudely drawn cartoon. The doctor freezes, fearful that another arrow might take out his cane.

“I’ll… cooperate.”

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November 1, 2023 · 1:32 am

00400516

“One more haunted house and we’ll be done with Millbank for another year, troupe,” spoke their obvious leader, front and center and gazing inward to begin gauging the spookiness of the place. Toddles. Ready to explain to them what’s actually going on with their now intertwined relationships. Just after this — she’s curious about the final twist here, which she knows is coming but hides the details from her higher, psychic self in order to be surprised. What’s the point of existing if you know *everything*, she reasons with it.

“Doesn’t look too scary,” offered Vain and Artery Boyy beside her. “Not like some of the others.”

“The mortuary, yeah,” said Rock on her other side, and stifled an urge to barf again at the mere thought of the gruesome scenes and things found within. The others knew it was a mistake to take him in but there were no distractions outside like a sandbox or something. He could wander off and get lost if left by himself in that way. But still: the damage was done to the 46 year old man from Nantucket, the opposite of Toddles in many ways since he has a child’s brain inside a grownup’s body.

Toddles looked around the yard: no distractions again. “Are you going to be okay, Rock? We don’t have to go in. We can end our tour here, go back to Big Sandy with the satisfaction that we visited everything except this last building, the most central one still but, like VA Boyy said, not that impressive on the outside. We can basically say we saw it all, we finished it all off.”

“I — want to be complete,” he said, wiping sweat from this forehead. “I  — want to go in.”

“Okay,” said Toddles. “If you’re *sure*.”

And here comes the twist. When they all went inside, seats seem to be arranged for them as if in a play, include Rock’s at an old upright piano. It was here he discovered a middle name: Roll. Rockabilly star R.R. Ramby was born. After brushing away the cobwebs he played beautifully, even though he only took a few lessons in childhood before being written off by his parents as useless and not worth throwing money away on. With this different form of music he automatically found himself banging away at to alleviate the fear aspect, he would have the last say.

All this was set up by the rock star that came before him, shrine remaining upstairs. Roll over Beethoven. Here comes a new one.

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October 30, 2023 · 6:24 am

00400513

Turns out it was all a misunderstanding mostly created by Toddles herself. Vain and Artery Boyy and, especially, Rock didn’t have the sense to think that a legal guardian must be found for Toddles, due to the fact that she acted so *independent* around them, we’ll say. Toddles insisted they celebrate the reunion and work out the kinks of the intertwined connections later on after visiting the Millgate Halloween Festival — located to the north and west of Big Sandy on the old Bellissaria continent — before it was too late and her 2nd favorite holiday after Arbor Day was done and over with.

—–

They’d left Rock to play in a haunted sandbox outside with an object provided plastic zombie pail and ghost shovel. He would be happy for hours if needed. And Alice F., wore out from the tour already, was upstairs taking a power nap, as she described it. The bad dreams began almost instantly, like back in the Belt Days.

Which left Toddles and Vain and Artery Boyy (aka Gill) downstairs, trying to figure out a mystery. “The thing that interests me most,” spoke the precocious child, obviously precious as well, “is *not* the 2 darts through the eyes — that’s more a distraction I’m thinking. It’s the presence of that blue ball at the foot of the body. Blue, Vain and Artery Boyy. Like your better half.”

He thought of Blue Berry Girl here and the life that could have been. But too late now. She was off to the Pleiades or Andromeda or some other starry paradise high in the nighttime sky. Seeing herself seeing herself seeing herself…

“What do you mean?” he prompted, staring at it now as well.

“Well, I mean, it just doesn’t *fit*. Let’s continue thinking out loud together — why did the Lindens, or Moles whoever, put it there?”

After V&AB didn’t answer for a spell, Toddles went on. “Blue ball begets yellow ball begets red green begets green red. We’ve already been through that. The prison bowling alley. Exactly 2 sections back.”

“I–” Vain started, then stopped. He had nothing really to say. He just decided to listen to genius unfurled in front of him. Yes, he’d try to stick with the child. He’d fight for her, even, at this point. Grandmas are challengeable legal guardians he figured. Not like a mama and a papa, which apparently Toddles didn’t have. He wondered why — he’d ask the grandma as soon as she finished her nap. He’d battle on the grounds that she had a 37 year old brain inside a 3 year old’s body, ready to be released on the world.

Alice woke up in a different bed, but the shadow figure was still there, go figure. And then someone else. Not a leprechaun but similarly sized. Maybe it is some kind of leprechaun given what comes afterwards. “Hell-o!” he or she or it says innocently in a child-like voice. “Hell-ooo!”

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October 30, 2023 · 1:52 am

00400512

He had returned but he found himself more and more excluded from Ozma’s inner circle after a lukewarm reentry. “It’s *temporary*, dear,” she kept repeating to him. “I brought you back after all. You’re *here*; back in Oz, back to patrolling the Yellow Brick Road. And boy dear howdy that took some smooth talking to the inner council to get done,” she often reminded him. “So be *grateful*. You’re not out *there*.”

But it’s been months again, maybe years. When would his so called probation end here in the cornfield far away from a central power he was use to? Contemplation like this naturally led him to check the clock that always beats the times in his chest. 7:15 in Quadlingland, 3:15 in Munchkinland. And in the center, the middle, well: heartbreak.

He watched her slip away in the stalks, reminding him of that old Oklahoma song about a quirky little alien who comes to Earth and can’t get enough of corn, all types. He involuntarily begins to sing it in his head.

I like cornflakes, corndogs
I like corn bread and cornstarch
I like the band Korn and popcorn, I like all kinds of corn
ALL KINDS OF CORN!

He can’t recall the rest and, anyway, Ozma had already disappeared down the rows. Their meetings were almost as brief as in the Lost Forest when he was truly exiled. Now it’s still a false exile, an ostracizing by the rest. Scarecrow barely talked to him, feigning being constantly tied up with businesses of the mind. Lion similarly excused himself when encountering the famed metal being, saying he had to face down or have a tangle with this or that adversary who still lived some distance from wherever they were standing at the time. And Dorothy… he doesn’t even like to think of Dorothy.

—–

“I thought we were going to replace Dorothy with *me*,” spoke up the precious precocious child listening in on Marsha “Pink” Krakow’s latest version of her novel with a working title of “Lost Path of Oz,” changed from the earlier “Forgotten Road of Oz.” “After all, L. Frank Baum’s greatest goal was to please a child. And what better way to carry on that tradition than to cast me, a child as child can be, in the leading role of your book. Similarly, Vain and Artery Boyy replaces Lion, and Rock” — she looks over at him, dumbly counting the fingers on both hands over and over to make sure they’re the same on each — “well, we’ll work on him,” she admitted, sharing a smile with Pink about the irony.

“Maybe,” gleaned Pink, “maybe *you* should replace the Scarecrow, Toddles. And Rock can play Dorothy — you know what I mean.”

Toddles as the brains of the operation. She instantly likes! She automatically sees it is the right change to affect.

“No one is going to play ANYTHING until I get some ANSWERS!” Toddle’s grandma Alice Farrowheart had shown up at the reading in the so called Center Hole of Big Sandy. With a loaded shotgun.

Marsha quickly checked to see if this was in the book as well.

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October 29, 2023 · 9:18 am

00400510

He’d killed 2 witches defending the city gates and was ready for a 3rd if needed. His moral chip had malfunctioned, rendering him unable to tell the difference between Good and Bad. He’d have to be reassigned, at least until the city council cooled down about the murder of their beloved Glinda. Ozma, the true and lawful queen overseeing all, wasn’t too keen on the self righteous goody two shoes so no big loss in her eyes. Still: Tinsman had to go. The Lost Path of Oz seemed about right. Out of the way, but not too far so that the queen couldn’t pass through at times and see how he’s doing over there. When he was invited to one of her balls he’d know all was well again and that he could return. The moment would come soon, he felt. He’d served several years in the Lost Forest already.

Then chaos ensued — again. He misplaced his oil can, then just after finding it the queen passed through. He’s invited! But a quick shower came, and since the Tinsman hadn’t been able to oil himself for a while, he froze up — the famous legend based on Ozian facts got that part right at least.

Then, much much later, Toddles walked up with her new friends Rock Ramby and Vain and Artery Boyy. “Look!” the last exclaimed in his husky voice, made for the sea. “A man. A man made out of tin!”

“It’s called a robot,” mildly corrected Toddles, who then started looking around the immediate area for a lubricant container.

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October 24, 2023 · 3:28 pm

00400504

Laura (black woman dancing to Black Sabbath in that last post) use to live next door to where she is now in a trailer with more colorful decoration. She left it behind for yet another Alice, Farrowheart in this case, who by chance was *also* looking for family here. “What a coincidence!” she cried over “Into the Void” when Alice Tart relayed to her the same. The 2 Alices must be looking for each other!

But, turns out, the name synchronicity was meaningless. Alice Tart was searching for her sisters Gloria and Wanda, who were indeed last seen in a Bellissaria sandy spot but further north and west on the old continent. We’ll see if they turn up anyway. Then Alice Farrowheart, the replacement neighbor in her former trailer (old woman, she thinks when accepting her application; *she* won’t be too much trouble surely!) was looking for a child, a granddaughter to be more specific. “Smart as a whip,” she described her when signing the agreement, adding in the alliterative phrase “precious precocious” a couple of times, she recalled. Last Alice F. heard: taken by pirates, rumored to be associated with USS Galaxy sitting big and fat and loong out in the Big Sandy harbour over there.

“Well, did you go on the ship, look around?” queried Laura after signing the contract herself as owner. 1 year lease. She liked the neighborhood but the neighbor’s trailer to the east was just a bit too close for rocky comfort. And also he (Tom) liked to spy on her during various moments of the day, like shower time, exercise time, times when her boyfriend Ted came over — you get the picture. Let Tom get a gander of old, wrinkled up Alice F. instead! she thought while the ink dried in front of her.

“I got in touch with a ship steward who verified she was there,” answered Alice F. “Last seen hanging out with 2 men, one of whom was two toned in hue.”

“How did she get there in the first place?”

“Well. Let’s just say Toddles has a penchant for *wandering*.”

(to be continued)

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October 7, 2023 · 3:09 pm

X factor

“I’ve decided not to write trash, Eddie, my Edward.”

“Call me Eddie,” he repeated. She never listened. Much like “cousin” Tessa to Edward, the *real* Edward.

So many faux cousin/lover pairings in this novel already, and we’re not even halfway through quite yet. First there was Eddie and Edward, the faux being affixed to the lover part in that case. Then Tessa and Edward, cousin linked with faux in that example. And now supposed cousins Serenity Lane and Shelley Lane (Struthers). Let’s just have Marsha “Pink” Krakow bring up the last pairing to Edward as they’re laying in bed in their 2n1 trailer, wishing to have their cake and eat it too again.

“Edward?” she said after thinking some of these things herself, mirroring the actual author (me) once more.

“Yes?” he relented, not bothering to correct her now.

“As I was saying…”

“Oz. I know. Rock told me all about it. And Gill. What do you call him? Vain and Artery Boyy, right. And the child as well.”

“Toddles,” she said to this. To please a child, she thought.

“All 3 approached me, Rock and Toddles and then Vain and Artery Boyy separate from them. Told me how much they enjoyed the new novel and the switch of genres and how they hoped you keep it up.”

“Oh. Wonderful! I wonder why they didn’t tell me themselves?”

“Probably…” he shifts his weight in the bed, assuming a more upright position, “because you were visiting that large prison complex over in Rockaway Beach. I myself didn’t have time to tell you until now. Had to keep reinforcing to you that it’s all right, and the, ahem, tour will be over soon.”

“Took some time to get from top to bottom, yeah,” she admitted. She got pretty scared about halfway down, even though the internal bowling alley reassured her that TILE was there, even amongst all this negativity. The light shines through.

Eddie, her Edward, was with her after that — called him over. “So. Are you going to go in that direction, go back to Meat City? Or stay here in Big Sandy?”

Was that the ultimate question? Past Broadwater, the grid took over, Utah to Omega link locked in again until it bent away on the other side of town. She saw this now. She *had* to see.

“Let’s give it a couple more posts,” which is probably what I would have said in her shoes. She decided not to bring up that Serenity Lane wasn’t Shelley’s cousin but her ex-lover, her ex-wife in fact. And now since Shelley was out of the picture she apparently has designs on the “replacement”. Drugged back to Meat City against her will!  Prison of all places. She could have spent one day there, she could have spent a lifetime there. Big. Practically Big Sandy big sitting up there wide and long and thick in the sky.

Back to the sand the way she knew how. With Edward.

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October 5, 2023 · 2:49 pm

00400309

“‘And as the Tinsman kept standing at attention while Ozma was still in sight down the grown up road, a small shower appeared seemingly out of nowhere, just enough to freeze him up at that spot for a very long time indeed. You see, he’d misplaced his can before painfully refinding the object by sitting on it, and so hadn’t oil himself in a while since he didn’t have time to use it before Ozma arrived. The Queen of Oz rarely passed through these here parts, and I believe she may have even forgotten about the shortcut afterwards, perhaps all part of that spell which made Tinsman what he was in the first place: completely tin, with not a bit of flesh and blood human left in his body. And so it becomes the Forgotten Road of Oz, famous for where the Woodsman stood until Dorothy stumbled upon him and oiled him back to life, like pumping blood into his dried up veins and arteries if he had any.'” She looked up from the book she was reading aloud atop the Big Sandy knob known as Rocky Comfort and into her listening audience which was also her test audience for the work-in-progress fantasy novel. “Questions?”

“I like the vein and artery part,” offered listening Vain and Artery Boyy below, which Marsha “Pink” Krakow had anticipated and why she fit the passage into the book in the first place.

“Thank you.”

Rock raised his hand. “I have a question.”

“Yes, Rock Ramby. Go ahead.”

“What is a concrete manhole? I know what a regular manhole is. You seem to be interested in concrete in the book.”

“I wish,” answered Marsha “Pink” Krakow in several ways, “to make the book sturdy and stand the test of time. And so the concrete manholes — which are a real thing — get to that later — and the concrete bugs and trees and waterfalls and so on.”

“Lots!” reinforced Rock.

“Lots,” acknowledged Marsha.

“Me now,” said wee Toddles still between them, still acting the role of their child. “What about the ball? If Tinsman didn’t show up at the ball, wouldn’t Ozma become concerned and send a search party to look for him? Is this all a part of the spell too? Maybe the ball didn’t even exist?”

Marsha made mental notes to include what the precious precocious child said in her book. Of course she’d have to give Toddles credit somewhere and somehow.

“Good points!” she said to end.

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September 19, 2023 · 9:28 am

TILE trains (you always have to be aware)

“You know, I’m tired of the toy room. This is the second day in a row.”

“What!?”

“I said, this is the second day!”

“Sorry! Still can’t hear you over the chair springs!”

“We’ve got to start acting our age,” continued Gill one toy attraction over. “Blue Berry Girl could have been a real thing. Then we would have had serious problems!”

“Patty cake?” spoke Rock over, still not worried. Moving on…

“I mean, what about that pension fund you were going to start at the bank, the one that paid 5.74% interest? How’s that going?”

“Your rump is big, te he.” Next…

“I mean, Rock. Look at us. I’m 42 and you’re 48 or something.”

“46!” he protested, debating whether to trade a giraffe for one of Gill’s kangaroos. Might swing the zoo business in his favor.

“Point is, we’re not getting any younger.”

“Can I play now??”

Jointly: “No!” Poor kid.

—–

“We don’t have any other attractions to visit in the toy room anyways. We *have* to leave. Right kid?”

“No!!”

Ship steward Jimmy Bimimmy showing up at 9:55 again: “Is this *your* kid? *Kids.*” (snicker)

Was it?

(to be continued?)

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