Tag Archives: RELIC


“Lord, lord. Lord lord lord lord lord.” She shook her head as she uttered. She looked down into her coffee which wasn’t steaming any longer, meeting stretched beyond expected. Yet Newt had forgotten about the parking meter and the need to feed past 8. Too much had happened. Clyde! It’s back! The impossibly loud sound of horseless carriages transfixed. He was almost there; just up there. He could reach into the screen and probably procure some kind of souvenir or relic to bring back to the others: Fern, Lichen… and the one who most figured in as the cause, the one who was red, the one with the awkwardly long gams (she thought), the multicolored tree on the back and the fox and the octopus up front, black and white zebra’s eyes formerly x’d shut but now wide open. He can hear, he can see. He *must* get married after this. He knows too much.

Lichen went over and exchanged wigs with her. “See?” she said, returning to her seat, spell intact.

“See?” prefigured Fern and then also leaned over and exchanged her hair with Alysha’s. “Doesn’t matter.”

It was 9 before Newt got back to the car with the inevitable ticket attached to the passenger window. “Zero strikes again,” he muttered and then crumpled it up and threw it in the gutter, knowing the thing was now worthless. Nothing mattered in this Squared Root City in this most virtual of realities. Except 3.16227766. Let’s shorten it down to 3 so we can move on…

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Zero Club (away from bar (shapeshifter))

“I recall the first time I saw you, your (one good) eye. Staring out between Moon and Saturn standing on a piano with Sun while a man with a moth on his back climbed a blood red picture behind you, using your huge ponytail to get a boost.”

“It’s not *that* huge,” she retorted.

He continued. “They said she would never be invited again to one of these get-togethers since she brought so many friends and acquaintances with her. But 3-d Venus is alive and well, still with her many fans following her around like packs of wild dogs and cats.”

“In the flesh (!).” She indicated herself, her body. What else was different about her, he wondered.

He went on. “You lived in a house much like our user, front covered in wisteria as if in a protecting fence or wall. You designed the moat to surround a castle but then had second thoughts of leaving bucolic life; castle too large to properly fit on (your) island. Stymie, husband at the time — stymied still how he could have ever goofed up on a looker like you! –”

Cute tittering; cute covering of mouth.

“…was most often away exploring Viterbo, finding relics in the ruins. Then one particular relic ruined it for you; he had to move on, *you* had to move. And so on to another Rim Island, taking the house with you and adding another husband to replace the subtracted first: Jacob, 1/2 man 1/2 alien in this case, with 2 normal eyes below a united third. You?”

“Me,” she decided to say. “Pure bred. One single eye and no normal eyes atall, they said. But that was wrong. I just covered one up, the bad one. Clockwork now.” She indicated the spinning, geared wheel on her face, very fashionable, very retro future. She pointed to both eyes at once now. “Two, you see, just like you.”

“What’s under that tuft of hair?” he said, still doubting her and tempted to reach over and lift it to see for himself. Maybe then he would know if she was happier with Stymie or Jacob.

She changed as she revealed the truth.

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Orient 01 02

Baker reading a popular history of the Trojan-Durexian Wars and contemplating the “what ifs” of a Durexian win, an alternate reality. What if… the voodoo spells were a little more advanced at the end; what if… the Southern Passage could have been secured 3 days earlier by Lord Duncan and his crew. Water under the bridge now, because the North defeated the South, although the Great East-West Highway represents a tangible barrier between the two still. So besides being split off, in essence, from the rest of Our Second Lyfe, the Omega continent remains kind of split itself, despite the unifying government. Lisa the Vegetarian played a role in setting all this up. Quartz was her game, and the Omega continent mountains centered around a large lake contained plenty of it. She was able to buy mountain after mountain, selling most of them eventually but retaining some, like the one where Tessa is temporarily staying in that treehouse with a strong butterfly theme. This is her half-sister after all (!). Why wouldn’t she try to help out, now she knows the urgency of the situation.

Baker here sits on the side of the same mountain, staring out at an old Durexian air base with a bamboo plane relic, a heritage site now. Because bamboo didn’t cut it in the end, despite the strong voodoo. Not strong enough anyway; later it got out of hand as poverty increased.

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Kennedy for president

She was trying to determine an exact year here in this place. “Hot Rod Girl”: she remembered that film from the early 60’s — maybe late 50s. But she wasn’t allowed to go to such a racy flick. Some said there was a bit of nudity involved (!).

A black lady in the nearby pink diner. Black people are not allowed in this diner. Not in the early 60s, and certainly not in the late 50s. She gathered she was about 18 or so, or about the same age as herself. Her profile picks led Poetry to this sign which she also didn’t understand, being from the past and all. A relic.

Well of course Black Lives Matter, thought Poetry at the time. That’s why we made them separate but equal (!). She wanders into the gallery of the woman, named Eight. Was Eight code for a gang member? A revolutionary? She’d heard of such people. The single name of a letter or a number came to her mind. She was becoming more ensconced in time. 1921 may be next…

She was looking for particular evidence that would support her now outdated slant on reality. Could she snap out of it?

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“Selma says Go!”

“You shouldn’t be digging too deep in these hills, Marty. There’s Indian relics that you don’t want to be uncovering.” He indicates the heavily bulldozed, grassy green knoll behind the famous singer/composer.

“Cursed, yeah. I know all about that.”

“The fame,” guessed Barry X. Vampire from his swing, smoking a Marlboro tonight for a particular reason. Marlborough.

“Star,” Marty furthered. “Like Marsha ‘Pink’ Krakow wanted to be. I sent Arthur Kill over to Storybrook to kill all that. But then I had a change of heart. Let her be a star if she chooses. It’s her life to live. I will be hidden darkly in the Beech Grove if she needs me, like New Orleans. I still have a key.”

“Head Inside”

“To success,” Barry finished again.

“To *failure*,” Marty corrected. “Obscurity. It’s what Vain people like us fear the most. To die in Vain when we could have died in Washington D.C.”

“Capitol idea,” came the reply this time.

“Capitol *Records* idea,” and then in Marty’s newish Urqhart garden they played his first non-Capitol hit “Coming Up,” knowing it would inspire Lemon to come back to music one last time. Despite the immense weight of fame and also Yoko Ona. Who we should probably talk to next; get her side of the story.

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Surprising me, the Main Church of Cheese (or just Main Church) still exists in the Pond District of Heterocera. I decided to pay a visit, disguised as a parishioner.

Afterwards I tracked down the Good Rev. Amos T. Sandman (clown) to get more of the scoop. Info about the brief but intense Pond District-VHC City war back in the day would be super nifty. *Jackpot* there, for the Reverend was a treasure trove — had a personal archive out back on the conflict. Said his grandfather piloted a Main Cheese boat over to the shores near VHC City to help with the barricade.

The next week we met in nearby Rodentia to further discuss the matter. Rodentia is fast becoming a treasured relic itself, having been around in Our Second Lyfe for over 10 years. His church was visible through this coffee shop window with a larger draw distance, adding to the ambience.

“So tell me about the Oodites,” I began. “Why did you guys hate each other so intensely? I get the whole clowning thing with you and presumably your grandpa, heh.”

“The Oodites deserved all they got. They put a black hole in the middle of that town and dominated through it. Warped the minds of the commoners (humans) there. *Sang* from that middle. He opened his red tainted clown mouth here for a bit but no sound emerged that I could hear. “That was 10 years ago,” he then continued, and *that* at the end of another 10 — the 10th. Pitch Dark that black hole was.” He paused here for me to absorb.

“I mean,” I spoke through Man About Time, “how did the Oo’ds get there? The aliens you speak of.”

“Oh they were horrible to look at. Could drive a man mad easily with their tentacles for mouths and their sideways eyes. Henry (Russian Grey parishioner I met the week before) looks good in comparison, ha.”

“Heh.” And I wondered why I laughed like that again, like a goofy kid. Did I have a cold?

“Well — how did the underground (movement) start?”

And it was here that Rev. Amos T. Sandman said he had to split to prepare for a diatribe against bananas on Sundae, a rival yellow food. We’d have to get more of the story at a later date.

(to be continued?)

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Return of Space Ghost


Baker Bloch’s father Space Ghost shows up in Collagesity from the woods again. He stops in front of Gloomy Gus. “Helllooo? Son?”


He waits about a minute, then decides to try what he remembers as Baker Bloch’s other house in Collagesity: Home Orange just up the hill. *His* old home. As Space Ghost makes a (typical) wrong turn around the Hole in the Wall bar to get there, he becomes stuck in the 7th and namesake spire of the Castle of the 7th Spire, the same place that Carrcassonnee took her infamous Intense Shower and almost lost an eye as a result.


Unable to free himself, he manages to finally figure out how to text his offworld son after some effort. The message Baker Bloch received was, “Help! Stuck! Hurry!”.


“Just teleport out; use your map,” Baker Bloch told his father after arriving on the scene several minutes later.


“I don’t know how to do that,” Space Ghost despondently replied, limbs still flailing.

“Okay, do you see the little logo that says *map* at the bottom of your screen? At the *bottom*. Or it could be on the left side, I suppose. Yeah, I’m looking at mine right now and it’s on the left side. But I believe I moved it there. So look at the bottom first.”

“I can’t find it. Is it next to where I keep my pillows and blankets?”

“Jesus,” Baker Bloch uttered, and tried to go inside the spire so that he could talk to his father face to face. But the phantom prim formerly used to access the shower had been made solid. Baker Bloch swears again with a dirtier word. The f-word.


“Now son, I didn’t raise you to use profanity like that. Apologize to the heavens and then get me the heck out of here!”

“Heck is a cuss word too, dad. It’s a euphemism for hell.”

“Shut up!” Space Ghost barked back. “I’m… I’m starting to lose my breath. I’m starting not to breathe!”


“Okay, don’t panic dad. I have an idea. I”ll just remove the prim if I can’t get it open. But let me try to cut you loose first before I start destroying town relics.”


“Yeah, that worked. *There*! You’re free now old man. Just take a moment. Breath in… breath out. Can you do that with me?”

“Breath in,” Space Ghost repeats with an inhale. “And breath out,” he says and lets it all go in a big exhale.

“Do it again,” Baker Bloch says to his father.

Space Ghost repeats what he did before twice. “There, I think I’m alright son. That was a close one! I almost saw your mother inside, meeting me at the Golden Gates.”

“Well you’re okay now. It will be some time before you join mom up there.”

“Not that long. What if you were offworld doing something that took your user away from the computer? I could have easily died! Anyone else here in this town now? Noone heard my calls for help.”

“We come in as we’re needed,” Baker answers. “Everyone is still here, they just pop in and out. Which brings us to my next question. What are *you* doing here? I haven’t seen you in ages!”


“I’m visiting you, you old fart,” his father answers. “Where’s that girl of yours? The other Baker. Baker Blood. No, that’s not it.” He shakes his head, trying to remember. Baker Bloch helps him out.

“Blinker. Baker Blinker. And she’s not my girl. I don’t have a girl. I don’t even have a you know what. I get that from your side.”

“Oh, that’s not what *I* heard,” Space Ghost insinuates back. “That’s why I’m here. I figured it was that other Baker you might have knocked up.”

“No, we’re not a couple, dad,” Baker Bloch reinforces. “Where did you hear this?”

Night was falling on the Rubi Woods and mainland Second Life as a whole. There was a sudden chill in the air.


“Let’s get you up to Home Orange for some hot beverages. Come along; just follow me. You were going the wrong way up the hill to get there, by the way.”

“Shut up and take me home.”


“You had to go up the road. Remember the road? Remember the cannon? Cannon Road?”

“Not really.”

They reached the cannon at the other end of Cannon Road.


“Oh yeah, that old thing,” Space Ghost uttered as they came upon it. “I remember I had to blast aliens with it during the 7 Year Spending Spree War. Damn House of Lemons. Damn that child of theirs. All that trouble over a little kid.”

“The kid who was locked up in the same place you just got stuck in. Seems to mean something, dad.”

Space Ghost became thoughtful as well. “You could be right son. Let’s go inside and I’ll catch you up on where I’ve been. And you can catch me up with your do’ins. How’s that girl of yours? Baker something or another. Not Bloch obviously. That’s your name!”

Baker Bloch suddenly felt great sympathy for his father. “Just through that orange door there, dad. You remember, right?”

“Home sweet home,” the old man said as he passed through the phantom door.


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It was impossible to confuse the approach of Bendy with anything else. It sounded like a bunch of jostled kitchen drawers combined with a broken, pulsing blender. But he was so close to calibrating the distance between the double stars Adelphia and Freedom. One more run through the computations might do it. So he pretended for several minutes to not be there when Bendy started calling. “Hellooo! Jack!?”


Jack gave up. He had to remember the value of true friendship over scientific pursuits. He would set that passion aside for now. He actually had a lot of free time, he reminded himself. No more 9 to 5 for him. He opened the door.


“Bendy! My good friend. Come in to my very humble abode. I had my earphones on. I’ll just put them away… come in! How are things going on the fake moon over there. Did you have any problems with the leap this time?”

“Three point landing, Jack,” Bendy replied, squeezing himself into the blue Na’vi’s cramped quarters. He noticed the overturned celestial globe and the red pins sticking in it. “Still working on southern hemisphere, I see.”


“I’ve completed almost all I can for now. I’ll have to go over to Lily’s to finish it off — my globe complete. As you know, only from her position at the south pole can I observe the remainder. But I’m not sure how that’s going to work out.”

“Yeah, we need to talk about that, but first things first: I brought you a present. Another Collagesity relic. It’s a magic disc called a quarter. You use it to audio-communicate between distant points without the need for direct teleportation.”

“Well thank you very much, Bendy. That’s wonder. And sparkly! Did you steal it from Jan and Dean again?”

“Who? Oh, you mean the Mulholland twins. Yes, I did, actually. Oh, and we have a *visitor*. Karoz Blogger is his name. He’s from Collagesity.”

“Well *that’s* very interesting. How did he get to the fake moon?”

“Rocketship. Crashed into the middle. Can’t get off. Stuck with the banana splits. That’s something else we must talk about.”

“Of course. There any many things we must talk about and we must catch up. We will begin now and continue into the night and day and night if needed. Then we will go see Lily. She will be super pleased that you are back. You are her precious tin can of fish. We, her and I, get along better when you’re there with me.”

“Oh I can’t wait to see Lily. I hope she is doing well.”

“She’s finishing up “Spellbook 2.0”. And she’s working on contacting the moon’s dead of course, an ongoing project. She conjured up the ghost of Peter Frampton the other day. He was “in” her, hehe. Next up in her alphabetical list: Peter Gabriel.”

“Nifty,” replied Bendy. “I always liked the Rolling Stones. Even through their Maharishi period.”

“And we’ll pack a David Lunch,” quipped Jack. Both laughed. There was no food on this satellite, a critical flaw for Bendy. He must return soon enough. If only they could grow something on this rock!

Later, Bendy checks out Jack’s souped up skynoculars while Jack gazes toward what he knows is another double star, a very special pair he named Jack and Lily.

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Filed under **VIRTUAL, 0001, Heterocera, Rubi^

TILE here.

“Even when you’re down you’re up. You have knowledge. Increase. Specify. You have it all. It’s yours. Be it. All.”

Baker B.:

Thanks Carrcassonnee. Reassuring words.


Collagesity is about finished groundside, I feel, with the creation today of a skywalk. Fantastic! It’s something I haven’t quite done before. Wappo Jack’s Castle is kind of new as well. I’m trying out different things this go around. And the theatre — even if it remains incomplete presently. What if I could actually turn it into a synchronicity theatre?


Hucka D.:

You’re exploring the olden Lemony Days with the new builds. *Fun*tastic.


Hi Hucka D.! Glad to see you back. I was in Mysten, in the spot where Lemon and Lime have obviously collided in some way — why would the town of Mystenopolis be preserved so well[ otherwise], like a relic?

Hucka D.:

Indeed. I am your closer self. Not a doppleganger. But closer.


Closer than Carr.

Hucka D.:



Well… what of Wappo Jack?

Hucka D.:

One of 4 winners of the Collagesity Deity Contest. 2nd place I believe of the 4. Where’s Lisa the Vegetarian, however? She is in hiding.


Maybe she is at The Table. Waiting for everyone else to show up.

Hucka D.:

Your friend Karl is important because he is technologically backwards, like yourself. You share the profundity of the one cue synch.


Yes. TILE…

Hucka D.:

Approach SID’s 1st Oz with caution. No one knows what it is. No one will understand Foreign One either. Isn’t that what you call it?


Yes, Hucka D.

Hucka D.:

To you it’s as easy and understandable as 1, 2, 3. Others: not as much. It’s not a Jackson 5[ situation to others].


How do I approach it?

Hucka D.:

With caution. As stated.


Can we rehearse here?

Hucka D.:

Sure. I study SID’s 1st Oz as well. I know it better than you[ even]. I know where this is going, where it is heading. It is heading to Hell, the 4th.


Everything’s always heading to a 4th, Hucka D.

Hucka D.:

The Devil.


Well, it’s camouflauged.

Hucka D.:

Isn’t that the black hole, the singularity? Check…



This comes up, but that’s not surprising.

Hucka D.:

Turn off Second Life.



That was a damn laggy page.

Hucka D.:

I’ll check it out later, thanks.


So will I. So Satan is at the bottom of a Black Hole. And God at the top. Singularity.


Hucka D.:

We keep getting more of the picture. Interstellar shows us a little more. But there’s a lot more to go. We can’t really go inside one. Yet we’re in one all the time. Fringe is another cutting edge [product].


Thank you. Glad to have you back.

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