Tag Archives: Woody Woodmanson^*#

Joining

Baker Bloch waited for Little Tonshi Ashokan (i.e., Bettie) to manifest in Collagesity, but it never happened. He wanted to reassure her, along with Nancy and perhaps even Danny — maybe Rocky especially — that they had a place in Collagesity if they wished. Wheeler Wilson and Buster Damm obviously could come back. Same with Peter SoSo for that matter. Tronesisia. They all could have a home here.

But for now, Baker has decided he must join them in Olde Lapara Towne instead of visa versa. Create a more rational perspective on what’s going on there. He was especially disappointed that Wheeler hadn’t returned, admittedly. She’s part of the core family, he thinks to himself tonight. She belongs here.

But how about Duncan and The Musician and maybe others still roaming around the VHC City environs?

Who is really a native of what town, or is it all just transient and interchangeable? Karoz Blogger and Baker Blinker, for example, seem to remain in Chilbo, yet another berg directly linked to Collagesity. An older relationship, like VHC City I suppose. Olde Lapara Towne is a new coupling. And OLT remains the most important for at least the current work (“Collagesity 2017 Middle”, or “Novel V”).

Baker waits a little more. Then enters.

I forgot to even mention Mary. Truth is, I think Baker Bloch has changed over the course of 2017, and may be as much vampire Pitch Darkly as his old self.

Osborne Well still reads “Floydodo” on the second floor of Darkly Manor, the one with the view into the forest. Fellow established Collagesity resident Woody Woodmanson joins him for a glass of milk. “He’ll come around soon enough,” the wooden man reassures his other vampire friend. “He’ll know who he really is.”

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Mission 02 03

No one says anything, not knowing if Woody is finished or not. But after about 30 seconds, it’s pretty obvious to all that he’s wrapped up his spiel. Mary takes his place, thanking Woody and the others for their words, then asks if anyone else wants to speak. She looks at Baker Bloch then at Hucka Doobie. Both wave her off, but then Baker felt the need to say, “We appreciate your supreme sacrifice Mary.”

“Then I suppose it’s time.” She turns to the rocket ship. “Goodbye all! I’ll be back as soon as I can.”

“Goodbye my love!” Pitch cries from the second row. “I know you will. I have faith in the Gods.”

Sobbing, she touches the launcher, then manifests inside the firing capsule. A person was already there. It was George, seated beside her.

He took her hand. “It’s you and me now.”

—–

24 years later…

“Do you not know me?” asked Mary/Chuckles to Sikul Himakt The Musician.

“Of course I do mother.”

END OF “COLLAGESITY 2017 MIDDLE”!

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Mission 02 02

During Pitch’s awkward pause, Wheeler walked across the bridge spanning Central Stream and took the empty seat beside The Librarian. “Hello you total bitch,” he says in a low voice without turning toward her. “Hello you complete bastard,” she answers back, also not looking in his direction. But both share a smile for a few seconds. Fences have been mended.

Mary turns around and whispers to her friend. “Where’ve you been?”

Wheeler holds up “Floydodo” for her to see. “I got involved,” she explains, shaking the book to emphasize what she’d been doing. “Lost track of time, sorry.” She looks toward Pitch. “Is he alright over there? Does he need help?”

“Why don’t you go up and say a few words, Wheeler,” Mary requested. “We’ve both had our turns now. You’re the town general, after all. Whatever you titled yourself.”

“Dictator,” Wheeler proclaims proudly. She stands and walks up to Pitch, then escorts him to the seat she formerly occupied. “Here, hold this for me,” she demands, picking up “Floydodo” and shoving it into his hands. He sits down with it. She returns beside the lamp post before the rocketship where Mary and Pitch had previously spoken.

“Greetings fellow Collagsitians. Wheeler Wilson here, you’re beloved former leader, haha.” Some sour looks appeared amongst the crowd. “Ah, I see we have a couple who disagree. Well, I can’t say I blame you. I was occassionally a bit harsh with some of my orders. But, overall, I think I did a good job.” She pauses. “Let me put this plainly. Your old leader Carrcassonnee will and cannot return. The play or interview form of speaking to each other, between the Bakers, between anyone in this town, has been rendered obsolete. Perch is perched up there in *my* diner.” She points toward the indicated eating establishment to her back and left, behind the rocket launcher from this direction. “So where does that leave us, citizens of Collagesity? We’ve moved forward, yes? We attempted to become assimilated into VHC City. Didn’t work. Baker Bloch here became Pitch became Woody and it all went to hell. Duncan Avocado’s our hope in that direction now. He has emerged from the PCH Forest — has that been mentioned yet?” Baker Bloch nods to her, thinking she means the woods itself and not Duncan’s exit from it. “Okay.” She then points back to the left rear. “What is our focus, then, people? What should be the entire reason for our existence here? Can you guess? What is it?” The crowd looks around at each other, basically wondering what she’s on about. She answers herself. “The *woods*. The *trees*. That’s what this is all about. I personally recommend sealing the whole town up again until Mary returns from a successful Muff-Bermingham trip. I’ve been (myself). I know what she’s up against. There’s power there. Osborne Well still controls. I should know, being a controller myself. And then there’s his children, his twins. Morris and Lou. I know the former but not the latter. But The Musician knows Lou. *Woody* here knows Lou (Woody nods). Having taken on the negative characteristics of her father, Lou is not the best of persons, I’ve heard. She wishes for everyone to dream, to keep asleep. What is reality? she wants everyone to ask, confused about what’s right and left, up and down, east-west. We’ve lost Tronesisia to her. We’ve lost Bendy. I’ve lost my Musician.” She pauses, appearing to wipe a tear forming in her eye, an emotional display especially surprising the several with the sour looks before.

Woody Woodmanson raises his hand. “Excuse me Mrs. Wheeler. Do you mind if I say a couple of words?”

“It’s *Ms. Wilson*,” she says, sniffing. “But, yeah, come on up here Woody. I’ve said my peace.” Woody gets up and Wheeler takes his seat. “Woods, people!” she shouts in emphasis while settling in.

Woody displays awkwardness. “Do I just stand beside this lamp post here? Is this okay?”

“That’s fine, Woody,” comforts Mary from the front row. “Go ahead and speak your mind as well. We have plenty of time. No rush on the launching.”

“Well, okay.” He loudly clears his throat for several seconds. Very high pitch, startling a couple in the crowd, including the already nervous Mary.

“I am… *very* grateful to be here in Collagesity. You cannot know the extent.” He clears his throat again. “I am a refuge of several worlds. My original master, Old Kringles — a lukewarm Santa Claus — use to tell me, ‘Don’t get sick, don’t get sick,’ over and over. It made me sick. I was expelled from his Christmas village. My second master, Luke Purden, owner of a spectacular mountainside castle, gave me better advice. He said, ‘Don’t judge a book by the color of its cover.’ At the time, half of the books I owned were green and the other half white. I always wondered why I preferred reading the white covered books. Then it hit me like a humongous hammer.” Woody hits one wooden hand with the other here. “Someone else was inside me that preferred the *green* colored books. Another Woody.” More throat clearing. “Which brings us to Muff-Bermingham.” Leaning forward intently, he looks in the direction of Wheeler. “I both know Lou very well and don’t know her atall. As such, I can vouch for her decency and honesty. Yes, she wants you to dream, to wonder, to envision the impossible. There’s a village at the bottom of the hill. But there isn’t. But there *is*.” He straightens up. “And that’s all I have to say about all *that*.”

(to be continued)

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Mission 02 01

Because Karoz had put so much work into the rocket ship, the Bakers made sure Mary’s trip to Muff-Bermingham was a bigger affair than Tronesisia’s before her. Most of the town turned out for the event, with the notable exception of Karoz himself, along with mate Baker Blinker. Thing is, the exhausted moss being, working around the clock for the past several days in order to get everything right about the ship, had now come down with a nasty bit of flu, with the female Baker having to tend to him. Also absent was Wheeler.

“Where is she?” asked Mary to Baker Bloch in a loud whisper, disappointed that her clown possessed friend was not present to see her off. Baker just shrugged. “Why don’t you go ahead and start, Mary. I’m sure she’ll be along.”

Composing herself, Mary began. “I’d like to thank everyone for showing up. A special thanks goes out to Karoz Blogger, who couldn’t be with us today due to illness. We wish him a speedy recovery. Without his mastery of scripting, I wouldn’t be standing before you here, about to embark on a mission of utmost importance to a distant corner of our known universe. Collagesity is about to enter a new chapter of existence, another turning point in its already long history of change and evolution. I want to extend a heartfelt gratitude to the whole town for welcoming Pitch and me so readily into its arms, along with fellow newcomer Woody Woodmanson (Woody stands up and bows stiffly). I know that you will, so to speak, hold down the fort while I am away, which shouldn’t be long.”

Mary shuffles her feet, thinking of George, then continues. “As you all know, I’m not the first of our kind to visit this distant planet called Muff-Bermingham.” She clears her throat. “Most immediately, we have Pitch and I’s good friend Tronesisia journeying up to this place only 6 days back. We fear her mission of rescuing fellow robot Bendy has not proceeded as planned. A snag has been hit.” She looks toward Pitch and Baker Bloch for encouragement. “Our best guess… is that they have been separated on opposite sides of this world by malefic forces, Muff for Bendy and Bermingham for Tronesisia. My own mission is to stitch up the involved rift and make Muff-Bermingham whole once and for all. For that to happen, I need to introduce a new element.”

She begins sobbing here. Pitch gets up and continues for her. “Take a seat sweetie and rest for a spell.”

Pitch’s words: “I’d also like to thank the whole community for welcoming us, fellow refuges from the sprawling urban landscape to our northeast called VHC City. A sister city indeed still, firmly straddling The Continental Diagonal which also runs through our marvelous Linden woods to the immediate west and use to cut through an older incarnation of Collagesity itself. Help me out, Baker Bloch. What was it called?”

“VWX Town,” pipes up the male Baker.

“Yes,” resumes Pitch. “And there’s also a somewhat smaller woods near VHC City called the PCH Forest coming into play now. More on that later.” He shifts from right to left a couple of times, head down, figuring out what to say next. How to put it? Mary and I are with child? Mary and I are expecting? But who is the real father? Last night, Mary confessed to him about that vivid dream in the old house, just before they left VHC City. Could Osborne Well really have done what Mary described? It was something they desperately needed to find out. Perhaps not to save their relationship, per se (they’ve also decided to become engaged when all this Muff-Bermingham mess gets clears up!), but just to uncover the truth. Who is George really? What happened to him and Duncan all those years ago?

(to be continued)

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“Seal”

They had to bring in Woody Woodmanson to translate. He slowly slid the “Necronomicon” upwards out of Osborne Well’s clutching hands and replaced it with “Floydodo.”

“Well?” Pitch Darkly demanded after a 1 minute wait. “Anything?”

“Shhh,” Woody said. “He’s still reading, still absorbing. Nothing like the ‘Necronomicon,’ you see. He’s having difficulty.”

2 more minutes passed by. “Well I’m going to get some milk out of the refrigerator. Anybody else want anything?”

“I’ll take a coke,” requested Wheeler. Mary gave her a dirty look and she changed it over to milk as well.

“Milk all around, then?” asked Pitch. “Everyone mumbled agreement. “Okay, I’ll be right back.”

1/2 hour later: “This is getting ridiculous, Woody,” Pitch declares. “Maybe the moon is in the wrong phase or something.”

“No, I’m getting a, er, reading now. Something about black and white, up and down. Red all over.”

“Um, that’s a newspaper, Woody. What we have here is a book.” Pitch pauses. “Isn’t it?”

Woody suddenly locks into gear:

At 1pm, Bland spots a British patrol near Osborne Hill, and reports back to General Washington, “I have discovered the enemy on the heights just on the right of two Widow Davis’ who live close together on the Road called [can’t read that] about half a mile to the right of the Meeting House. There is a higher hill on their front.” Panicked by Bland’s report, Washington quickly orders Alexander Stirling and Adam Stephen to Birmingham Hill three miles north to defend the vulnerable Continental right flank.

Woody ends as abruptly as he began. Looks all around. “Osborne Hill?” Pitch exclaims. “Bermingham?”

What they then found on the next page sealed the deal.

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Another 02b

It was also Woody who discovered what was, in effect, the keyhole of the cypher city. One of its buildings stood out from the rest, being isolated inside its own small square of surrounding road. The wooden man figured that if you unlinked the berg and then, in turn, touched or sat upon this building, the surrounding force field would be removed and you could reach the portal. But only one person should be up here when this happened, because you couldn’t just stand/un-sit and get back to Collagesity afterwards. Tronesisia was the one.

And if Woody’s theory was wrong? Tronesisia would be stuck here until Karoz could get his rocket ship launched for a rescue. After speaking with Baker Bloch on the matter, the robot lady decided it was well worth the risk, a quicker and, in all likelihood, safer way into Bermingham. Baker confided to Tronesisia that Woody is probably the one who set all this up in the first place, and then just conveniently forgot he did so. “How did it just show up one day outside his front door?” he rationalized to her. “How does Woody seem to know how it works so well? No, this was another aspect of his split nature, like how he regularly brings inanimate objects such as Snowy and others to life. He goes *into* them. Just like he has already gone into this world, this Bermingham. He’s merely forgotten; it’s what he does by nature,” Baker reinforced. Tronesisia nodded, remembering how Snowy use to sit static beside Woody’s house when she first arrived in town.

But there was an additional problem to tackle: the issue of the portal animal needed to actually pass through the gateway. Wheeler stated to Baker Bloch that The Musician held a fox to effect the transition (but which we later find out is really a dingo resembling a fox — still a portal dog). And then a bit later in our story we learned that snakes such as Old Colin Hiss could be used for the same. Woody asked his key about the matter and received an answer. “Such an animal has already been given to you by one no longer with us,” he says to Tronesisia. She goes back to Baker Blinker’s Gloomy Gus to ponder on this, and then received the Eureka moment about 3am in the morning. “Aspinwall!” she cried.

The next day Tronesisia phoned up Baker Bloch and Woody and declared that she was ready. They meet at the smaller version of the sealed city outside Woody’s house. Snowy doesn’t join them this time. “What’s in the cigar box?” asked Baker Bloch, but then realized what it had to be. He looks at Woody who gives him a wink back. “She’s figured it out, my main man. She’s figured it out.”


Tronesisia unlinks.


Tronesisia touches.


Tronesisia passes through.

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Another 02

Woody had justed booted up his computer when he saw it outside. “Hmm, I don’t remember that being there before.” He went out to check.”

—–

“Come over here Snowy Snowmanson. See what you can make of this.” The recently animated snowman complied.

“Another key world, you say? Just what *I* was thinking. It says ‘sit to enter’ in the text on the top. Shall we?”

“Whoa, Snowy. Where are we *now*??” Woody looks around at the landscape between the buildings. “Is this *Mars*?”

—–

Woody next took Baker Bloch up. “No, it isn’t Mars,” he expresses. “I think it might be Muff. Wheeler has given me some graphic details about the place she and The Musician were trapped in for a while last month. This looks like what she was talking about. Sealston, eh? Maybe another world within a world.”

“Snowy thinks a key is here. We have an opinion.”

Baker Bloch glances over at the snowman, taking its recent animation in stride. Woody has powers, yes. “Please share.”

Woody begins. “The central avenue — not boulevard — of the sealed sity heads directly to the big cave mouth, yes?” Baker didn’t know this, but agreed anyway. “Yet you cannot reach the mouth because of the force field surrounding us. Sealston is named for a reason. And there’s another, different building next to the cave, gray as well. You cannot reach it either. We are inside. They are outside. But if you look closely — here, better walk over and I’ll show you. Snowy, you stay here next to the entrance point and alert us if anyone else comes up.”

—–

“See, this avenue –2nd Avenue Snowy and I are calling it — ends at the outside building. The next one over, 1st or Main or Central — Snowy desires Central or Main, I say First…”

“Go on,” encourages Baker.

“… is the one that leads directly to the cave. But this building is sealed up as well. If you look closely, the rocks around the cave seem to block up its only entrance. So what does that mean?”

Baker didn’t know. But he did understand that this “cave” could be the portal back to Bermingham, as Wheeler also described. Tronesisia might not need that rocket ship to find Bendy after all. Better break the news gently to Karoz. He’s worked so hard on it the past week.

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Woody’s Abode

Woody Woodmanson stepped out of his key shop teleporter and onto the green mainland terrain of Collagesity North. Like Pitch, he’d never been to this area before. But, as he told Lou, rent was just too expensive for his Bermingham house. When an opportunity to stay in Collagesity North free of charge came up, he jumped on it. Baker Bloch, who he knew now was the same as Snowmanster, would never be far away; a great buddy to have around. Things didn’t work out in Purden in terms of being immediate neighbors. Maybe here they would.

Baker said for Woody to look for snow. Like Pitch, he’d know immediately which dwelling spot was his. And like the vampire, he fell in love with it at first sight.

Snow, but not *everywhere*, he cooed. “Just around the house. *Just* right.”

“And a snowman. Howdy snowie! What’s your name?” No answer. “Must be one of the static ones,” Woody rationalized. “Hmm, maybe we can take care of that later.” He continued to talk to the inanimate object. “Would you like to be a real live snowman, just like I became a real live toy?” Woody definitely saw promise in the figure. And at 3 prims (as he subsequently checked), he’s a steal of a deal.

He goes around the big rock and enters the house from the porch. Also like Pitch, he was warned that clutter would be around, and that if he didn’t like some of the provided decor, there was no problem in switching it out.

But what *wasn’t* to like so far? Woody thought while settling back into a Victorian steampunk chair. Okay, so maybe the space monkey will have to go, he admitted to himself, not knowing this was famed philosopher and art critic Cardboard Derek Jones, “away” at the time.

Upstairs: a bed and a computer table. View of the entrance to the Great Linden Wall. “Lovely.”

Tired from his day of moving, Woody gets some well deserved shut-eye.

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Knotted up

Collage 17 returns to Collagesity from Muff. Whole SoSo Gallery along with it. Red-green split fades and disappears.

—–

Woody bids farewell to his “summer home” in Bermingham. *He’s* moving to Collagesity! But I don’t think our story as a whole is quite done with that realm.

George is still there, for one thing.

Maybe Bendy as well. Probably is.

—–

Without Pitch/Baker in tow, Hucka Doobie says goodbye to the News and Views coffee shop across from the great hotel.

Yep, heading back to Collagesity too along with the others. He thinks of Pitch and what went wrong with this town. Or went right, now that the last of the vampires have been vanquished. After years of abuse Pitch has given up on VHC City. He use to be in the center. He became tired of living on the edge, without security, without a role to play. So he unconsciously attracted the end. More on that soon.

—–

Buster Damm came back to VHC City from the PCH Forest to find that his coffin underneath the Blue Angle had been deleted. He was exiled just like Pitch. Dead ball era over, I suppose.

—–

Mary: One last bit of “reeling them in” from her favorite fishing hole across the tracks from the city. Like Buster, she’s following Pitch outta here.

There’s too much at, er, stake, not to. Within the Realm of Orange or overall Sphere of Influence of VHC City, she remains sterile. Outside is another story.

—–

Another nearby red-green dichotomy. The abode of hot, temperamental Angelina Dickenson, a police woman of sorts. We haven’t met her in our story yet, and maybe never will. But she’s the one who drove the nails in the last two vampire coffins of the area. Again — for better or worse. Siren always set to on.  Continuously looking out for the town, especially the Sister side.

—–

But what of the Bemberg part? Still reading Sunklands, landlady Summerhill Nova sits in her office contemplating what to do about Baker and his several rentals there.

Obviously, she thinks, since Baker is the same as Pitch he’ll be leaving too. But should he be forced out? Punished, in a way. Summerhill is hoping he’d just quickly exit of his own volition and she could wash her hands of the matter. Let it just fade away.

—–

Baker himself stands before the blue door, thinking he should never have gone through it and made another dwelling place in Sister. Illegal, yes. Indefensible, correct. But, overall, temporary and harmless, like *everything else*. Like many of us after November’s big bump, Angelina was way under her land impact limit. Had the story been worth it? I think so. Else it would never have been told, I suppose.

—-

And we’re not quite through yet. The Musician is still circling around Clown Central, trying to find a way out for both he and Wheeler. Trapped in a dream. Sikul Himakt. He suddenly realized what had to be done.

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Outlier

Seeing the front porch of Woody’s house appear to the right from behind some raised, pointed green terrain, The Musician decides to jump down from the blue path and head toward it. Keeping straight would quickly lead to the sky islands. He didn’t need to go there quite yet.

The front door of the house is open. Figures appear in the far corner of the single room floor, all gathered around a circular, white topped table. Seemingly not yet noticed, The Musician listens in on the conversation in progress.

“Well, Osborne, in the late 1970s McKay told John Conway, the inventor of the Game of Life, you know, that the coefficient of 196884 was precisely one more than the degree of the smallest faithful complex representation of the monster group. Conway replied that this was Jack Daniels style moonshine, in the sense of being totally wacko nuts.”

Woody stops speaking and turns toward the door. “Oh, howdy Musician! Welcome to physics night at Woody’s Outpost. I hope you like vertex operator algebra.”

“I’m not sure,” is all he could manage, then, looking to the left, added, “I like your tree,” to be more cordial.

“Thank you,” replies the wooden toy-man. “It was a house warming gift from a dear dear friend who still lives over in the quarantined section of Bennington. Sector R I believe they call it nowadays, don’t they Osborne?”

Osborne doesn’t answer, but just appears to keep reading his book with the queerly tentacled creature adorning the ancient cover. Another monster.

“Well, anyway, come on in,” Woody says. “Just pass through the twirly whirly Jaspery thing so we can check out your core being. Then you can join us here at the table. Just a simple test, you understand. We need to know who you really are, deep down. The area around The Table must remain sanctified, right Osborne?”

The Musician began to panic. Who *was* he deep down? He’d figured something out at LEA11 about his true self but then quickly forgot. What if he simply *vaporized* — had no inner core.

“Oh don’t fret,” Woody reassures, seeing the worry on his face. “Everyone has a core, Musician, whether they know it or not. Here, I’ll go first and show you. That’s only fair. Osborne just remains Osborne. Pretty boring.”

Woody gets up and moves into the center of the swirl. He quickly contracts into a sort of meatball, then reconstitutes. Woody’s core.

Then he contracts and expands again to return to his wooden toy self.

“See? Nothing to it. Now your turn.” Woody steps back toward The Table.

The Musician saw no way out. He entered the swirl.

“There,” comforts Woody. “That wasn’t so bad.” He turns to Osborne. “Look, Osborne. A ghost. The Musician is a tall ghost at the core. Cool, eh?” Osborne keeps reading. “Let’s check the name out. Ohh, a Jupiter, eh? I knew some Jupiters over in Farmington. You’re not related to Jeb and Stewart by chance?”

The Musician shakes his head. “How do I get back?” he asks. Would he have to stay this way *forever*?

“Takes a little longer for first timers,” Woody explains. “Just give it a moment. Try not to move too much.”

And then The Musician was back. Woody pulls a chair out at The Table and offers him a seat. “You can sit beside me. We have much to talk about. We need to get you reunited with Wheeler and heading to VHC City pronto. Bad juju going on there. We can use the key shop as a teleport device of course. I know you’re familiar with it.”

Ah, The Musician thought. So Wheeler was right all along.

—–


10:15PM: Heading back.

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