Daily Archives: September 17, 2016

Family We Are.

Baker Bloch couldn’t find any Asprind up at the Bodega marketplace. He and Karoz Blogger, who was playing Clerk this night, even looked in his upstairs apartment above the market. Then they sat down in the two chairs there and started talking about Karoz’s woes with Baker Blinker. Baker Bloch lost track of time a bit before Karoz mentioned Wheeler, making him jump out of his seat.

“Man, I almost forgot about Carrcassonnee. Just give me some regular aspirin. I have to get back. Wheeler was acting… strange tonight. Stranger.”

“Baker Blinker seems to like her well enough. She can crush an olive with her mind.”

“Hold on to that thought, Karoz, and we’ll get back to it.”

Baker Bloch rushed back to the gazebo, but everyone was gone now. He heard sounds coming from what he thought might be Collagesity Heights. He returned to the Bodega marketplace and used the teleporter beside the door to reach it. Karoz went with him.

They found Carrcassonnee in a bad place: upside down, turned around, and very dull and red-violet now, the opposite of her usual, healthy chartreuse glowiness. A 12 Oz Mouse clip was playing in a loop where Shark offers Fitz the Mouse some Asprind.

“Yeah, I suppose that’s the only thing that will really cure her,” Baker Bloch said upon viewing the spectacle. They both sat down and watched as well.

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Carrcassonnee’s gonna be all right.

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Are We Family?

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“Where’d your pupil go?”

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Wheeler:

Ah, there you are. Perch. How have you been Perch my old friend?

Carr (shaken):

I… I’m not Perch any more.

Wheeler:

I know. The whole assimilation thing. So you want to know about Jorondip, eh?

Carr.:

I didn’t say that.

Wheeler:

On and off. Black and white. I took over. I simply took over. And I took over the thing taken over. I’m just that powerful. Do you know who I am?

Carr.:

Um, you said you were me.

Wheeler:

You’re scared, huh? ‘Fraid I’ll take over *you*?

Carr. (meek; lying):

No.

Wheeler:

Well I can. I *will*. But not just yet. When Spider talks then that’s the End of Days. BoBylon realized. You understand me Perch?

Carr.:

I can’t reach those memories.

Wheeler:

I’ll have that eye and I’ll have you and everything else in this town.

Carr. (grasping):

Spongeberg. Spongeberg can stop you.

Wheeler:

No. Not even Spongeberg The Destroyer can stop me. I’m him as well!

Carr.:

No. Need… Asprind.

Wheeler (more of a whisper):

I’m even… this town. I’m Second Lyfe itself now. My Second Life. *My* Second Lyfe.

(Carrcassonnee has no answer. “DEMON,” she thinks)

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Family Are We?

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“I believe you’re looking for me Carrcassonnee. Get up Baker.”

Carr:

What happened to Wilson? Did you kill him?

Wheeler (w/ sarcasm):

Yes I killed him. Get up Baker. That’s my seat from now on. You sit over here. (sarcastically imitating Baker Bloch): Oooh, I’ll bring in Wilson. I’ll show Carrcassonnee. (end of imitation) But it’s always *this* seat. Where he can’t see me well.

Carr.:

I can see you.

Wheeler:

But not well.

Carr. (admitting):

No.

Wheeler:

How about now?

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Carr. (seeing clearly):

Who *are* you?

BBloch:

Yeah Wheeler. Tell us about yourself. Here, I’ll get up. I get the hint. You’re taking over, etc. etc.

Wheeler:

I sure am.

(Baker stands and offers his chair to Wheeler)

In a moment bud. I’ll stand too. You stand and I’ll stand. You sit and I’ll sit. That’s the rules from now on. Right Carrcassonnee?

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Carr.:

I don’t know. My brain hurts. Need Asprind. Run up to the marketplace Wilson and get me some Asprind.

Wheeler:

Cure for rabies? (she laughs)

BBloch:

I’ll go get them. Be back in a flash. Are you okay here alone with Carrcassonnee Wheeler?

Wheeler:

Why wouldn’t I be? We’re *the same*.

Carr.:

We *ARE*?

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We Are Family.

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Carr.:

Come on out Wilson. I know you’re in there. Come on.

BBloch:

I’m not Wilson. Anyway, I think you want Wheeler. Wheeler is in Wilson. The Wilson-Wheeler dichotomy. Who came first? What came second? Etc.

Carr.: (thoughtful):

You’re not Wilson.

BBloch:

No. I came to ask about the collages. There’s a rumor around town that Spider will be let loose within them again.

Carr.:

Not Wilson?

BBloch:

No again. This happened once before LINK. Remember? (turning to Spider) Remember Spider?

Carr.:

Spider will talk one day but not today. Maybe tomorrow.

BBloch:

Are the rumors true?

Carr.:

Who told you this? Wilson?

BBloch:

Not everything revolves around Wilson, Carrcassonnee. *We’re* here. Baker Blinker, Karoz, Hucka Doobie, myself. We’re permanent. The permanent family members.

Carr.:

Do me a favor Wilson. Make a list of permanent and impermanent residents of this town. My town. I can’t move around well enough to do so. Census, perhaps. Yes, a census. Can you do that? Go to each house. Knock on each door of each house. Make a count. Ask pertinent questions. Report back to me. Go.

BBloch:

Alright I’ll do that later but there’s not many residences in town, actually. A lot of galleries, a number of so called businesses supported by the galleries…

Carr.:

You do this for me, I’ll send Spider into the collages. What specifics do you need from my end for the entrance?

BBloch:

I don’t know. What are your ideas about it? Do you have ideas?

Carr. (roaring):

OF COURSE.

BBloch:

O-KAY. (an obviously irritated Baker Bloch looks around for his blown off hat)

Carr.:

I will not argue with you again.

BBloch:

I-I don’t remember arguing before.

Carr.:

This has happened too often. Bring out Wheeler.

—–

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BBloch:

Okay, we’re both here now. Just to confuse you more, hehe. So *there’s* Wheeler. Wilson and Wheeler. Two headed girl boy. (Baker Bloch looks at Wilson)

Carr.:

But…

BBloch:

Hold on hold on. I’m going to do a trick. Hold on to your hat Carrcassonnee! I’m going to revolve you around. Let’s see how this goes. Ready… go.

Carr.:

I didn’t feel much.

BBloch (after seeing it wouldn’t work):

No. The radius is too big. I was going to attempt to merge with Wilson.

Carr.:

That would be catastrophic! NEVER try that again. EVER.

BBloch:

Jesus Christ Carrcassonnee.

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