“Is that suppose to be Donald Trump over there, Carrcassonnee?” Wheeler asks in the awkward silence after sitting down in her special chair.

“I don’t know. Is it?”

“I don’t know neither. Either?”

“Why don’t you just try to gauge my eye out again, Wheels? Can I call you Wheels? Wheeler the Wheelie.”

“Baker Blinker is protecting you now. We made a pact, a deal. Part of that deal is that you and I have to get along. So I’m here. Talking to you.”

“What do you dislike about me, Wheels? Wheelie? Which do you prefer? Gauger, perhaps.”

“I am you. I don’t like the myself I use to be. With Perch. Perch riding around on Spider. Spider use to be a horse. That’s in the collages. You have to send her back in. You know so little. It irritates me sometimes, is all. I get impatient.”

“I know a *lot* woman.”

“Not as much as you think. Not at all. I’ve been in those collages myself. I’ve been to Stonethwaite, to Tungaske — that’s in Canada and not Russia by the way. I’ve been to those special places that make up the nexus. *We* operate from that nexus. Whitehead Crossing. Do you remember Whitehead Crossing, Carrcassonnee?”

“Of course. Kind of. And: not really. No, I don’t know that place atall.”

“That’s where I’m from. I’m from all of those places. That’s where I met Spongeberg. We had a thing going on back in the wild wooly 70’s. Ever heard of Jagger Juice?”


“Tommy Tums? Richard Rechts? Bizarronator? Those were my clan.”

“Sounds like an evil superhero alliance.”

“It was! We had a number of eyes laying around we would huff on back then. Your mama.”


“I said, your mama.”

Carr. (calling through the door):

Baker Blinker!! A little help!



She’s just pulling your leg. Go ahead Wheeler. Admit you were pulling Carrcassonnee’s leg. You don’t know her mother.


The heck I don’t. Huffing and puffing on her. All night long.


Alright let’s just end it at that. Now just *look* at what you did to Carrcassonnee again!

(after a pause)


I can’t believe you have to call in Baker Bloch again to change Carrcassonee ’round. He needs to give everything over to you. Just deed it over. The whole town, the part that’s not yours. 98 percent?

BBlinker (admitting):


Wheeler (standing):

I even have to get up for this charade?



Yeah. Sorry. (pause) We’re done.



She’s still got a little greenish glow around her belly.


The night marches on. We must end soon. We can’t look at every detail.


I didn’t think the mama joke would affect her like this. Change her over again.

BBlinker (looking at the script and reading):

It will take — sorry — it will take many episodes of 12 Oz Mouse to revive her again. Perhaps even 13.


Nice. Why don’t you just remove her eye now. While she’s away like this. It would be easy. Then we could go to Muff-Birmingham. I’ve shown you pictures. It’s beautiful. We could get a place somewhere way up in the air. Buy a whole wrestling arena before we leave and take it with us. Then when we get back we just rent. Rent somewhere else. Away from here.



“That eye would take us far.”


Filed under **VIRTUAL, 0002, Heterocera, Rubi^

2 responses to “Talk

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