Monthly Archives: February 2017

VW(XYZ)

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“Let’s see what this so called ‘secret society’ is all about, you Joker,” he says. Wilson goes into the VWX fairy house.

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—–

“I thought this is where he said the hole was, son.” Allen Martin pivots around, looking. “Where’d Aspy go?”

“Dunno pops,” answered Doogie, who continued staring at something in the distance.

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“There he is. Where’s he heading *now*?”

Doogie does a 180. “Looks like he’s going down the hill on the other side of this house or whatever it is… shed.”

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“Well keep up with him,” his father implored. “You know my legs aren’t what they use to be.” Allen Martin struggles to get to his feet. His son doesn’t move to help him, instead following the snake.

“Hmm,” Doogie says. “Now he’s on some kind of green table. “Looks like he’s waiting on us maybe.” Allen Martin hobbles up to his son.

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“Great. Another hill.” the older Martin complains. “Help me out a little this time, Doogie. Will ya?”

“Sure, okay,” the son says lacadasically.

10 minutes later they were at the bottom, staring at the picture. On the white pillar now, Aspinwall kept knocking his snake head against it in emphasis.

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“Hey pops,” Doogie finally says. “Doesn’t that kind of look like the picture of your old college down on the bottom floor of our house now.”

“I was thinking the same thing,” the older man replies. “I was on the wrong wall.”

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Martins

Hucka Doobie threw Baker Blinker a party at Perch in celebration of her recent land sale, a 3856 parcel in the northeast part of Minoa. Now I feel Collagesity is how it should be size-wise, with Blinks’ land costs reduced down to the next tier. I anticipate no more additions or subtractions to the town. It’s great as is.

Afterwards, Baker Blinker decided to go over and talk to new Collagesity renter Allen Martin to see how the move went. You see, Martin had *just* set up his gas station and backing house on the 3856 when the sale went through. The Bakers kindly offered to immediately move the still empty World of Collage building next door to make room there for his structures. Baker Blinker met Martin’s son Doogie in the garage. She was surprised to see Baker Bloch’s Spookmobile being worked on within.

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“Hi, I’m Baker Blinker.”

“Nice to meet you,” Doogie said. “Are you here for the car? Because we need to talk about some costs.”

“No, that’s Baker Bloch’s car. The other Baker. You know who I am, don’t you?”

“You’re the owner.”

“Of the land, not the car. That’s the other Baker. But I thought he took it on his trip with him, hmm.” She scans the car, verifying as far as she could ascertain that this is indeed Baker’s Spookmobile. “He owns the middle and south parts of the town,” she continues. “I own this part, the northern part. But not the car, see. That’s still Baker Bloch’s.”

“Well, I still need to talk to someone about this car,” Doogie said, thinking that this dame sure is chatty.

“Your father around, um… what’s your name again?” Baker Blinker felt it somewhat rude that he didn’t introduce himself properly but just kept going on about that car. That blame car.

“Douglas. But call me Doogie. Like Doogie Houser the tv star.”

“Well, nice to meet you again Doogie.”

“Likewise. So about the car…” Doogie, a born mechanic, couldn’t help himself. He goes on to explain that the whole exhaust system needs to be replaced. He said that it looked like the car had been sitting on the bottom of some ocean for years, a joke that hit the target dead center.

“Well, actually…”

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Allen Martin then walked up from behind Baker Blinker. She caught him winking at his son. “So, what’s a pretty girl like you doing here at this old, dingy garage.”

“I’m Baker Blinker,” she explained again. “The owner… of the land, not the car. We spoke on the phone last night. We moved a whole building next to yours this morning.”

“Oh, right right,” he said. “The *boss*. Well, I do appreciate it, I really do. We — Doogie and I — have been moving around quite a lot lately. It would be nice to settle down somewhere on the mainland and establish a clientele. Last place was up in Bennington. Let’s see, it was last Tuesday — right Doogie? — when the gangsters came and shot all the windows out. And then there were the fires, the floods, the tornados. No, Bennington was not a place to set up shop. A wild wild town. So we’re glad we’re here. Aren’t we Doogie?”

“I suppose so father.” He was still looking over the car. “And the headlights don’t work. Horn neither. Spark plugs and wires need replacing. Distributor obviously. You can’t put this car back on the highway without a lot of repairs.”

Allen Martin approaches the back of the car and bends down. “I thought I saw something wiggling around in that tailpipe, hmm.” Inspecting it and seeing nothing now, he rubs his peepers with his fingers. “Ehh, it’s been a long day. Just a trick of the eyes, I’m sure.”

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It wasn’t. The banded grey sea serpent waited until nightfall to crawl out of the rusting exhaust system where he’d been living for years and make his introductions. Allen Martin was still sitting at his desk on the top floor of that backing building, where, about a half hour before, he enjoyed a beautiful sunset over Robin Lane while thinking to himself that this is a place he could maybe stay a spell.

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Allen Martin was asleep, feet on desk, by the time his son Doogie yelped upon finding the serpent on the floor next to him while underneath the tv, trying to jerry-rig a free cable connection.

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“Nothing but static, phew hew!” slurped the snake loudly. “I’m Aspinwall by the way, like an asp in a wall. And I’m about to have babies!”

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Bridges

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“I guess this is goodbye Baker Bloch.”

“Not forever Wheeler. Just until we can figure out how to deal with you and Mid Hazel. Baker Blinker, Hucka Doobie and I.”

“Tell Baker Blinker congratulations on the land sale. Oh, one last thing. I want to say goodbye to Old Mabel as well.”

“Very well.” He changes.

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“My car disappeared,” starts Old Mabel.

“Never mind that *young* Martian. You can rez another one over there on Mid Hazel’s property.” She turns around and points.

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“I hope that, at the least, you do not consider me a mortal enemy. I only used the Wilson mask as needed. I am truly David Bowie underneath it all.”

“Are you?” asks a still skeptical Old Mabel.

“I guess that’s what we’ll find out. Come over here now and rezz another car and skedaddle back to your Heterocera.” She walks forward, and Old Mabel follows. “Just through these pillars.”

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“No,” says Old Mabel firmly, sensing a possible trap. “I’ll rezz the car from this position. I see the property lines.”

The Spookmobile appears above the “B” on the wooden platform. Old Mabel hops in remotely.

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“You better change back into Baker Bloch or you might not be able to reach the pedals.”

“Oh right,” states Old Mabel, and she transforms once more. But Baker then has to stand up again and sit back into the car to fit properly. Mid Hazel’s plan had worked (of course).

Baker Bloch steers the car toward Wheeler and runs into her, moving her about 5 feet up and sideways both. Smiling, he drives up beside her again.

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“Aw, what the heck,” he says, already under the spell. “Hop in. Let’s go see that (boy) Karoz of yours. Just for a little bit.”

“Just for a little bit,” reiterates Wheeler.

As they sloppily made their way back onto Highway 9, the only bridge into New Island remained open…

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… for a lesser bit.

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MORE AFTERWARDS…00

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… Old Mabel finds out more about Roostre in returning to the Blue Feather Table Room. A *lot* more. She didn’t uncover the crucial Q109-R110 link, which Robot Steve would tell her about later on in a dream. But she, for instance, learned the origin of the name Muff-Bermingham. She thought back to the opening in Corsica that allowed Snowmanster to escape a firey death at the hands of Jerome T. Newton. It was all starting to add up. To something.

—-

EVEN MORE AFTERWARDS…

… “ARE YOU HAPPY?” Steve boomed down at her, still holding the poor clockwork ballerina in his metal claw. “I AM.”

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AFTERWARDS…

… Baker Bloch bought Old Mabel and Hucka Doobie dinner at Perch to make up for almost killing them with his Spookmobile several hours earlier. The catch of the day was… perch. All ordered it. All complimented the chef (Keat Owens: back on the job!). Baker Bloch and Hucka Doobie talked of old times in the White Palace. Hucka told Old Mabel some of the story about Greenhead in Real Lyfe, where he was originally from.

“The bees and the humans from down south in Whitehead Crossing originally got on,” he explains, “but then came Uncle Joe and Aunt Zoe, the *bad* humans or human*villains*.

“Nice pun,” adds Baker Bloch.

“Thanks,” replies Hucka Doobie. “We had to seal up the hole. Thus opened up the hole more near Whitehead Crossing, but later on. It was merged with Kentucky’s Mammoth Cave, the biggest hole we could find up there — perhaps you’ve seen the related collage, no?” He turns to Baker Bloch for a possible answer.

“I don’t know.” Baker, in turn, turns to Old Mabel. “How far up have you been in the Fal Mouth Moon?”

Old Mabel realizes she hasn’t ascended past the 2nd or 3rd floor of the 7 story building, the largest in Collagesity. “Not all the way,” she admits.

“The collage Hucka Doobie is referring to is at the very tip top,” he then says.

“Field trip!” yelps Hucka Doobie, noisily plopping his knife and fork down on a plate filled with perch skeletons.

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—–

“There it is Old Mabel,” Baker Bloch says, indicating the Whitehead Crossing hole Hucka Doobie referenced earlier. Old Mabel sits down directly in front of it for further study. Hucka Doobie is looking at an image of an oblong blue “12 Oz Mouse character” partially hidden by a Crossing tree.

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Old Mabel coincidentally stares at the same character positioned in front of the hole, full figure this time. Both mouth the same thought at the same time.

“A peanut?”

—–

“And of course there’s Rhoda, a bartender in our world and that world both,” explains Baker Bloch further along in his “12 Oz Mouse” spiel. “I’m not sure if he’s been up this far in the Fal Mouth Moon either. Have to make a mental note to ask him the next time we’re over at Joker’s Wild.”

“I want to hang in Collagesity more, Baker Bloch,” states Hucka Doobie. “Where’s Baker Blinker tonight?”

“I don’t know. Maybe at her house, the Gloomy Gus?”

“Strange she’s not a part of The Table.”

“She and Wheeler don’t really get along that well.”

“Karoz,” says Hucka Doobie.

“Yup.”

—–

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“So there’s Carrcassonnee as Fitz the Mouse himself staring at Peanut,” says Baker Bloch to Old Mabel, seeing her still interested in that part of the collage. “He’s holding a corndog. That’s reference to Roostre.”

“What did you say?”

“I said, that’s reference to the Roostre character of ’12 Oz Mouse’.”

“Why didn’t you tell me about this *Roostre* before?” she demanded.

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Table Meeting 02

For Table Meeting No. 2, Baker Bloch arrived at the Blue Feather in his self named Spookmobile, almost running over Old Mabel and Hucka Doobie while humming down Old Cannon Road from his attic home in the western part of town. Baker apologized to the two while they were walking up behind him, nerves rattled.

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“You know it’s only about 100 yards from your place to the Blue Feather,” says Hucka Doobie, still dusting herself off from diving behind Major Stone to avoid being hit. “You don’t really need to drive. What is that thing anyway? Where’d you get it?”

Baker Bloch realized Hucka Doobie wasn’t inworld all that much and hadn’t caught up with the news. So he caught her up.

“Fascinating,” says Hucka Doobie afterwards. Anson and Anton. Yet another one. *Must* be the work of Mid Hazel.”

“And we further speculate that Wheeler is trapped on New Island now, unable to escape. I’d take you there to see the broken bridge but the meeting’s starting up in a moment.”

“Without Wheeler?” Hucka Doobie scratches her bee head in confusion.

“I’m taking Wheeler’s place,” Baker declared. “Let’s head inside and get this thing started.”

“Cool, I suppose,” says Hucka Doobie, still a bit in the dark on things. Old Mabel remained silent, not liking where this was, er, heading.

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—–

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“As most of you know,” Baker began, “Wheeler’s wishes were to move forward instead of backwards. Toward ‘Pumpkintwisters’ and the future instead of ‘Billfork’ and its Northfork and Billville in the past. *But*… Wheeler isn’t here.”

Old Mabel suddenly perked up. Could it be? Could it be?

“So we’re going to talk about ‘Billfork’ tonight.”

Old Mabel actually jumped out of her chair a bit in joy. She had been preparing to discuss ‘Billfork’ for weeks now, listening to all the pertinent John Lennon solo efforts and reading up about the Ono debacle and so forth.

“Now I’m sorry Tin S. Man. I know this was your time to shine.”

“‘T’is okay, Baker Bloch. The Ray Davies inside of me can wait. I am sympathetic to the plight of Northfork and Billville both. Both flooded, both moved. A moving tale each.” He smiled.

“Yes,” agreed Baker. “So since we’re backing up from ‘3 Friends of Belleville’ instead of going forward, we can point out that *Belle*ville camed from *Bill*ville — and also visa versa since time really doesn’t exist. This is part of the overarching complexity of the Piera. Old Mabel, do you want to help me out and pull up some pertinent videos on the interwebs? Try ‘Northfork + Polish’.”

“Sure thing, Wilson.” Everyone stared at her. “I mean, Baker Bloch, tee hee. Slip of the tongue.” She went over to the suave chair she had sat in so many times now and did the appropriate search.

“So what is ‘Billfork’ you might be asking?” then said Baker Bloch. “Well, on the audio side it’s primarily ‘Boom Dot Bust’ by Firesign Theatre. On the video side it’s the movie ‘Northfork’ by the Polish twins, Michael and Mark. As Tin S. Man alluded to, both feature towns that have to be moved in order to be saved. The town of Northfork is being flooded by a new lake. Billville is threatened by tornadoes, and also, strangely and syncily, a flood at the end, where the mayor has to turn into a fish and ‘swim, swim, swim’ to stay alive. Tonight, to begin, we’re going to look at a number of clips from ‘Northfork’ which are available on the Youtubes. We’re just going to look at them as they appear in Old Mabel’s hit list here, and I’ll talk about the relationship with ‘Billfork’ afterwards — I don’t think we need to do them in order. So if you would just start at the top of your list, Old Mabel, and work down.”

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“Yes *sir*”.

—–

2 1/2 hours later they had gone through innumerable Youtube videos featuring not only ‘Northfork’, but Firesign Theatre, Pink Floyd, and John Lennon and his Beetles. Even Old Mabel was getting a little tired. But they had learned a lot. They knew ‘Billfork’ contained some kind of code which Baker Bloch simply dubbed the Billfork Code during the meeting, having come up with that name several hours prior. Baker had passed out most of the 8 oranges Old Mabel dreamt about to participants at The Table this night, setting the remainder at empty seats while saying that each represented a whole track from ‘Boom Dot Bust’ used in ‘Billfork’. Old Mabel grasped hers tightly as Baker handed it to her, making sure she didn’t drop it this time (unlike in the dream). “Now I know we’re all tired,” Baker continued, “but we need to also talk about the 9th tonight. The 9th is ‘Doom Bot Dust’, the opposite of ‘Boom Dot Bust’. And that’s where we think the code comes from. A south by southwest direction.” Old Mabel nodded her head in agreement as she looked past Hucka Doobie in that direction.

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Anton

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“So this is another one of your disguises Wheeler.”

“Yes. Baker Bloch,” she answered. “But call me Wilson (when I’m like this). Or Wheeler — whatever. So… you have information about Doreena.”

“She is called Doflia now,” states Keat Owens. “Reborn on January 15th of this year. She has Mad Max hair, (and) Apocalyptic Female top, shorts and boots.”

“She has turned into a monster,” Wheeler-as-Wilson speculates.

Not really. Come to the map with me. “We can teleport through the pin.

—–

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“Not there,” states Keat Owens. “Let’s check Yvonnee.”

—–

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“Often right here, but it’s late in the night, almost dawn. To quote Billy Corgan: ‘They only come out at night.'”

“Close enough. Speaking of which,” says Wheeler. “I must begin preparing for the next Table meeting.”

“So you’re going with the forward Pumpkintwisters direction?” Wheeler nods. “Over the backwards Billfork direction?” Wheeler keeps nodding. Keat Owens reapplies one of his hands to his chin in a thoughtful manner. “There’s one more avatar we’re keeping an eye on, only known as Anton. I don’t have a direct landmark yet but he’s in Anson. Obviously another one named for their inhabiting sim. We’ll have to approximate (the landmark).”

—–

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Not what they were expecting.

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—–

Afterwards:

“Damn! Crashed again.”

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Just after that:

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Walls

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“Let’s see. What book did you say you were looking for Old Mabel? Hee hee.”

After walking around the walls and ceiling of the fairy house for a couple of minutes to demonstrate her powers, Urch then showed them another mystery out in the side yard.

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The picture of the flaming yellow haired cartoon was gone. One depicting brick walls took its place, a maze of walls, actually, that you could *move around in*. Urch described it as the vast grounds of Rooster Springs Backwoods Institute, where she claimed to have attended school back in the ’60s. “Psychedelic days,” she called them. “Secured my kaleidoscope eyes there.” Old Mabel gasped at this.

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As she navigated the seemingly endless maze while Old Mabel and Keat Owens looked on (a*mazed* — sorry), Urch revealed she’s been searching for something within for quite some time now. “Let’s call it a key to unlocking a man trapped in a Santa suit,” she explained. This made Old Mabel think of Jiff and the queer Santa demon he saw a couple weeks ago. While she was pondering this association, she realized Urch had stopped moving around the maze to turn and stare at her. “You know something.”

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More

He was at the table now, asking me to join him on his side. We were done with the Nautilus City map. He said we were waiting for someone but wouldn’t say who. He said we could play chess against the house in the meantime. I imagined both of us leaning against the outside of the fairy building, awkwardly holding a board between us. I told him this vision. He said, “No, against *the house*.” He waved his arms all around. A chessboard then appeared on the table before us, white pawn moved to King 4 in an opening move. “I’ve never able to beat her myself,” says this new Keat Owens. “But maybe with your help we can give her a run for her money. And she *is* expensive, my dear.” I told him I didn’t know how to play chess, and we do not have that game on Mars where I’m from. He said he’d do most of the work. It was over in 13 moves. The board disappeared. The new Keat Owens cussed a word I won’t repeat here. I didn’t learn a lot about the game except to note the power of the pieces and the general nature of their motions. I knew that the Queen was the most powerful and not to be f*cked with, to use the language of Owens. Then a person I had met once before came into the room, an ovoid portal appearing on his or her head chest.

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VW(X)

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“Yes come in. Quickly, quickly,” another Keat Owens implored from within the fairy house. “There’s mysteries to solve. No doddling dear — there’s been enough of that. Well, come in,” he said again. “Leave the golf club outside, yes.”

Old Mabel goes up the stairs and then leans the iron gently against the house just outside its railing. Taking one last glance over at Keat Owens Joker, she passes through the door she just opened.

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—–

“Yes, well…?” a similarly rushed Baker Bloch asks later at the Joker’s Wild Bar. Furry Karl was still under the weather. Rhoda remained the bartender for now.

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“We stared at the Nautilus City map for a while. The position of Doreena, Yvonne, and, um, this new person or entity we haven’t heard about before named Anton, were marked with red pins. Keat Owens Jack, as we’ll call him…”

“… because his suit is like Jack’s across the way…”

“Right, Baker Bloch. So this Keat Owens Jack then says Doreena has unexpectedly changed her name and appearance, and that this is more work of Mid Hazel the witch. Her “do’n’s” is how he put it. And Spider was in the corner of the small room beside us; forgot to mention that. He’s still spouting out or uttering or speaking those 4 numbers over and over, like you described before when he was with Carrcassonnee.”

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“Slightly before your time here in Collagesity, yes. Interesting. When did you wake up?”

“I was just staring at the pin representing Anton — more at my eye level — and a picture of what you call a Volkswagen Beatle at the bottom of the sea entered my mind. I stared at the completely algae covered car for quite some time. It was sad. Then I was jolted back to reality by the start of ‘Revolution No. 1’ on my player. That’s from the ‘White Album’. The more graceful ‘Long Long Long’ precedes it there. Then afterwards we have ‘Honey Pie’ and the horn laden ‘Savoy Truffle’.”

Old Mabel’s really getting into this Beetles research, Baker then thinks. Too absorbed? Well, she’s preparing for the next Table meeting, which is scheduled for tomorrow night if Wheeler can pry herself away from her new infatuation — her New Island. That seems to be a danger: Wheeler may be imprisoned by this new threat named Mid Hazel forever and ever on that island. Baker then noticed Old Mabel is staring at him.

“Thinking about other things?” she asks.

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