Category Archives: Heterocera

Tale of Two

“What you writing there b-b-boss?” asks Marty Claflin, formerly known as Pot Head.

“Oh just some ideas about our business,” replies Jay Woodhull, formerly Sheriff. The Sheriff. But his law upholding days are over for now.

“M-Mabel coming back tonight?”

“Oh, I doubt it. She has to sing at the Cult of Oo’d in Collagesity tomorrow. She told me she’d most likely be staying over there tonight to save prep time in the morning.”

“G-g-good.”

Jay puts down his pen and stares at Marty. “Why’d your studder come back? Hey, look over there… out the bay windows,” he says suddenly while pointing. “Someone’s coming.”

Marty’s heart began racing. “W-w-where?”

While Marty’s head was turned, Jay took the opportunity to knock the crap out of it with his metallic left hand. “OW!” he yelled, but with no studder. Jay’s quick remedy had worked.

“Thanks,” Marty managed after a moment of rubbing. “I think.”

“No problem, Marty.” He began writing on his notepad again. “Now about that business plan…”

—–

Meanwhile in Mabel’s duplicate (and original) Scarlet Creative Sylvia House in Collagesity, she sits on her DaD Design knitted pouf freebie and stares out the front window into the woods, trying to spot Unch, an old game. It’s good to be home, she thinks while continuing to peer and squint. Too bad I can’t stay.

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Charlie on the spot

The witnesses sat around the pit containing the crucial and central psychiatrist stand, two to the right…

…two to the left.

All were reading and not seeming to pay attention except one. The true witness: Norris, also known as JERRY or Harry. For he had seen much more than the others on his couch of stripes (etc.) and was curious how this would all turn out for Bill.

No one was looking at Norris now so Dr. Rabbid Baumbeer’s evaluation could begin.

“So, my queen. Let’s get right to the point.”

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$4

Ragdoll watched the dogs play outside her trailer for the longest time, it seemed. Newte was so bad about not coming upon being called. And she’d given up training Jaspo in *anything* when he was not much more than a pup. What was the use?

They’re collecting at the door, she thought. Pops must be inside rattling around keys, getting ready to close up for the shift. Ragdoll knew Alma would be here any minute in her old, beat up blue Chevy truck to relieve him. She was reliable but testy, and could shout the skin off of any man alive if needed. More than once, her daddy had been the victim of scattershot, both of a verbal *and* a physical variety. Former beau Justice will be needing that specially made seat cushion for a while, haha. But it wasn’t a laughing matter at the time; Ragdoll thought that Alma had killed him. But Justice was just naturally a heavy bleeder, and all that blood covered much tamer wounds than spectators of the scene could imagine. Then there was the other time… oh, there’s Daddy. Pops. At least *he* comes when called.

Upon exiting the building, Angus Nuffin petted each jumping dog individually. “How’s my Salt; how’s my Pepper?” (those were his nicknames for the mutts, bought for 2 lindens apiece from Gingus Kind Jr. after the death of his father). He then spotted his daughter sitting on the warm blacktop, waving brightly. Although not planning it, she finds herself jumping up as well, mimicking the dogs’ admiration of the man. But she resists running toward him and giving him a big hug. She had other things on her mind today. The Diagonal. Ragdoll had been plotting her dinner grilling strategy while waiting and watching. Again in both a verbal and physical variety, for she was the designated cooker as well tonight.

Meat Wednesday. That’s another thing she needed to talk to her daddy about when the time was right — about her vegetarian leaning ways. But for now, as a kid of 12, beef and chicken and the rest tasted okay still. Remained pretty delicious, except when she came across one of those hard parts that was probably, *hopefully*, a bit of bone or cartilage or something. Fish, she thought again. One day, not too far off, she will only eat fish as a meat. Snapper, flounder, perch. Mmmmmm, she thought. But for now, her mouth still watered a little for beef, for chicken, for the rest. But not ham. Never ham. That was a firm rule for Meat Wednesday since she learned that pigs might be smarter than some men. *Obviously* Alma’s Justice, hehe.

Angus Nuffin walks toward her and she couldn’t resist any longer. The big hug came swift and easy as Alma pulled in. “My little Zero,” he says, holding her tight.

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overhears

Bill didn’t remember anything about the middle-of-the-night visit to the single wide trailer behind Obscure’s Blue Star Gas Station until Ragdoll filled her in later. She overheard everything from her bedroom she shared with Indigo, who appeared to sleep through the whole event. She didn’t.

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*up* the rabbit hole

It was the first time Adelaide (Alice 02) would meet with the head doctor over at Mosh on the Main Continent, as employees of Baumbeer Enterprises liked to call it. On the way up, Adelaide pauses to consider some maps on the wall. She recognizes her present “home” sim at the top. Or sims, since it looks like the hospital owns land in both Tethia and Orr around Lake Tethia. Interesting.

But where was she *now* on this lower map, hmm?

No time. She was summoned. There wasn’t a place to sit in front of the doctor. But — he’s a *rabbit*?

And a white one at that. Rings a bell.

Surprising Adelaide again, Dr. Rabbid Baumbeer then unfurls his life story for her, starting with his birth at Braynard’s Place (chronicled in the last Collagesity novel) and extending through Gene Autry Mortuary School, The Carter Center for the Study of Bodily Fluids, and then here. “Fluid,” he emphasizes while taking a steady sip of milk (he had hid his glass of beer under the desk upon Adelaide’s arrival). “It’s what took me from place to place to place. Up and up and up.”

Adelaide wondered when he would get to her psychiatric evaluation, but it never happened.

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harey

“All right, I have *two* four-handed librarians sitting at *my* Table now. Surely we can figure this out together.” No one around The Table says a thing. Curled Paper keeps staring inside the book he’s always reading. Tin S. Man stands unmoving in the corner. “Hazel… Hazelhurst. A Mrs. Hazelhurst came out of Philip Strevor’s office over in Iris just before I went in. But I didn’t see her. This *must* be Mid-Hazel.” No one says anything. “Mid-Hazel makes things go ’round and ’round, entrapping them in a bewitching circle. New Island is her ultimate creation, perhaps.” Nothing said. “Leeman’s or Leemon’s — mind you, we can only speak in Oracle terms here — anyway, Leeman’s or Leemon’s Hazel is the beginning and ending point for his fictional story nested inside the now totally and completely filled out factual story.” She indicates the screen displaying a map from the book. “He inserts *himself* inside the story, and first goes from Hazel to the Hazelhurst (Ruins) to complete his first, er, virtual watercolor… within the story. This becomes first person, not third. With advantages and disadvantages–” Bill/Wheeler throws down her hands on the table. “Okay, *someone* has to help me here. Librarian 01, I order you to speak.”

Librarian 01 thinks a spell, then offers: “eight.” He elaborates after a shorter pause. “It must have been something he ate.”

“Carrot,” speaks up Librarian 02. “Glasses.” Everyone falls silent here.

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form in back

“You’ve gone too far this time, husband of mine. And you better get home — you’re changing over again.”

“So can I keep it?”

—–

“I recognized him immediately, The Bill.”

“Bill will do. We’ll think about the royal appellation later.”

“Okay. But it was definitely Smelly Santy. You remember — from the Mission. The eggs, Bill. They must have killed him (!). The Bennington experiments.”

“Nasty place. Even I would admit that.”

“And then you would meet another Bunneh on your way here. Bunneh 01 and Bunneh 02, then. Maybe it happened the same night even.”

“It did,” assured Bill.

“Baker Blinker thinks it may even be this Leeman or Leemon who designed the other New Island. I almost said ‘more real’ but caught myself.”

“Right. Both New Islands are equally real. And there’s a third we haven’t talked about.”

“Russian,” Baker Bloch stated, ignoring mention of the third for now. “Before independence, his New Island was Russian territory. I’ve been reading the relocation guide. I believe the place is as real as Australia, as New Zealand.”

“India,” Bill added. “Indonesia.”

“But not any more real than, um, our New Island.”

“No, not really. Because we, you and I and anyone else who cares, can *go* to our New Island. Physically for us; virtually for our users.”

“But one is latched onto the other. They are — not two plants from one seed. What (expression) am I looking for?”

“They are like babies from the same mom. Which begs the question: who is Mom?”

“Mum,” Dwayne speaks in sync from the side. “We’re so sorry. The chef has burnt the tuna. Would you like to substitute perch for the entree?”

“Perch, perch, perch,” complains The Bill, back in form. “Perch at Perch, go get the perch at Perch. The perch is the best dish at Perch. Always pushing the perch. Well…” and she sends a riveting stare at Sidechick Corea’s brother, formerly out of a job and down on his luck in Heroin Town, “serve me the tuna, burnt or not. Serve!”

Dwayne scurries back to the kitchen, retrieves the burnt item, then tells the chef to pack it in — he’s done cook’n too. We’ll catch up with the chef’s story (Angus Nuffin) later, for he would get his revenge.

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bunnehs

“Baker Blinker. Come here. Quick!”

—–

“Just because I have the ring doesn’t mean I necessarily have to go back to Collagesity and be queen. Does it?”

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Filed under **VIRTUAL SL, 0009, 0201, Iris^^==, New Island^

Lo point

“I am the 9th, Mary.”

“That’s great. Are we done (with the snapshot)? Let’s walk over to the insane asylum, if so. Let’s go see Adelaide.”

“Alice’s (Alices?) nowhere to be found. We reside in the Ukraine now. Russian is sooo yesterdays.”

“Let’s just *go*.”

“Oh all right,” Pitch Darkly relents and gets up to head westward. Into Russia territory again. New Island, pheh.

—–

The portal entrance to Lake Tethia. Pitch allows Mary to get all angley and fish for perch a moment, with immediate success.

She schemes to make a list of Pond District pools and their angling potentials. Would Pitch allow her to complete the project, though, given this is “Russian” territory now? And what’s *wrong* with her husband? Would he return to normal after all this “Number 9” stuff is done?

Unable to get through today, however — the property seems blocked. Did they do this specifically to keep Pitch out of their village? These Ruskies? He hates them now, whatever the actual facts.

Northern side here: he’s just not having much luck. Pitch black blocks him again.

He decides to teleport back home and try again another time. Mary, of course, follows him there. What a lamb.

—–

Later, in the consulting room at the Collagesity branch of Fries with Cheese…

“You must leave your husband. *Immediately*.”

“I’m over here,” the distressed Mary beckons.

“I’m sorry,” Sister Martha Lamb apologizes. “I can’t… seem to turn my head… to the left right now.”

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infiltration 02

“It is indeed,” Sister Martha Lamb muttered to herself while studying “Bullrocks” (Falmouth 08) and seeing the phrase “Copyright Protected Image” adhered to the mason jar with the fake bull moose inside. But she couldn’t help being intrigued by all the intertwined legs and shoulders — bull in jar, bull outside jar, and that ridiculous Mr. Bean man Rowan Atkinson involved as well. Aliens, hrmph. She couldn’t stand them. They didn’t exist in her world. The World of Cheese. “This one will go first to prove my point and to cut the heart out of the resistance at the beginning.” She turned. “Now… the hand.”

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