Tag Archives: Carrcassonnee^^+++!

Hired?

(joined in progress)

“Thank you for attending the impromptu meeting. As you can see, Karl, Baker Bloch is back. He’s applied for the custodial position at Karoz’s new school. Isn’t that exciting for him?”

Karl (eyeing Baker Bloch):

I suppose. No offense, Baker Bloch, but I’m more worried right now about my three-dimensional situation. And my new needs, Ancient in origin. Pole dancers… prostitutes… the like. I thought I was done with all that crud.

Carr.:

So did we, Karl. Yet Homer Simpson and Dr. Blood are both gone from the city. My city. My huge heart is heavy — heavier — because I not only lost a father but a friend. And on the other side, I not only lost a friend but a personal physician who knew my peculiar ins and outs. Both will be hard to replace. But a new stranger is on the horizon, about to turn the angle down Cannon Street. Can you guess?

Karl:

Pipi Longstockings?

Carr.:

Not too far off, Karl. But at the same time: very far off.

Baker Bloch (to Karl):

Is it uncomfortable in there for Baker Blinker? I’ve been experimenting with my own shape recently. I find it — unsettling.

Carr. (to Baker):

Karl does not understand what you mean by that.

BB:

I mean… never mind.

Carr.:

Baker Blinker was unable to attend the meeting today.

BB:

Jeez, wonder why? (Karl stares at him)

Carr.:

I will catch her up later when we meet with Karoz on board. Should be interesting.

BB:

So what happened [with the vortex in the Town Hall]?

Carr.:

Homer went back to his two-dimensional cartoon family, as he desired. Dr. Blood, in his ultra-generous nature, sacrificed himself to make sure this came about. But now we have Karl instead as a 3d character, and having basal needs again due to it. He does *not* want to return to his quote unquote cartoon family, his own breed of Ancients and now ours as well. He wishes to remain here. And this was a way to do it. Unfortunately he’ll have to quit the bar since he can’t fit behind the counter now. Another flattie will have to be hired to slot in there. Not Baker Bloch obviously. Any suggestions? I can’t let go of Lisa Simpson, even if she is a shadow of what I formerly was. Cardboard Derek Jones is a possibility.

Karl:

No, I can’t go back, and that’s a shame. To the bar, I mean. No, I don’t want to return to those weirdo Aqua Teen action figures, or whatever they are. I was the only human or humanoid among them, you remember.

Carr.:

I do. But, also, you have strong elements of Rhoda the bartender from “12 Oz Mouse”, which I’m more familiar with. Hmmm, I suppose we could just manifest Rhoda as a flattie.

Karl:

There. That’s solved. Now what do *I* do?

Carr:

There’s an opening for the custodial position at Karoz’s new school. You could live in the back room, Baker Bloch’s old room back in Noru, actually. You could fill in his shoes… oh.

Baker Bloch:

Yeah, “oh”. Which one of us gets the job?

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And what’s with Karl’s queer mask?

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Suck

While Karl watched helpless, another one of those vortex thingies quickly formed in the center of the Town Diner and took Dr. Blood in, along with his strangely attached pole.

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Homer Simpson appeared at the door just in time to witness the last foot disappear.

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“Stand back, fat boy,” warned Karl across the whirlpool, “you may be next!”

“Who are *you* calling fat!” cried back Homer. But then he too got sucked in, quick as a wink.

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“Hmm,” said Carl, standing in the vortex’s diminishing center now. “I wonder why it’s not affecting me?”

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Then it was gone as Carrcassonnee came squeezing through the door. “I was afraid that was going to happen,” she lamented. “My two friends!”

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Karl stood in front of her. “Sucks, doesn’t it?”

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Eyes

“Someone is at the Fal Mouth Moon gallery. I heard the vortex teleport all the way up here.” They were sitting in Karoz’s apartment above the Bodega market, staring out at the green terrain.

“Yes, I hear it too once in a while,” responds Karoz. “Listen… I’m sorry about the suggestion. We are just starting out. We’ll make adjustments and move forward.”

“There will be some changes,” Baker Blinker says defiantly, thinking Karoz is talking a bit like an academic administrator again. “Baker Bloch has handed me the keys to his house. I would feel guilty if we didn’t have the same user. But you are somehow different in that respect. How?”

“I was born considerably after the original group you guys were in. I am from a specific place to start off with: Chilbo.”

“But you *aren’t* from Chilbo. Or Chilbol either.”

“No,” admits Karoz. “But I am from Norum and that’s nearby.”

“It’s time to tell me — us — the truth. Peter SoSo showed up in Collagesity to play in the celebration party after the Intense Shower. That’s what it’s starting to be called.”

“Yeah, I know.” He thought back to the embarrassing 7th Spire incident with the shower, obviously enough.

“But when you went up [to Peter SoSo] and said hi and started talking about the past, he didn’t seem to recognize you. Or was he being extremely cold to you for some reason? I can’t figure it out.”

Karoz doesn’t immediately answer, but instead stares out the window, looking toward the neighboring Sikkima sim. He points in its direction.

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“Do you know Collagesity use to exist in that large sinkhole over there, Baker? Well, it was technically New Pietmond but same idea. It’s the only one on the oldest continents that we know of. Odd, huh? They say the Sylver Forest extended to at least its edge.”

Baker Blinker was again tired of beating about the bushes. “What don’t you like about my eyes?”

—–

Afterwards Baker Blinker goes to see Carrcassonnee.

Baker Blinker (after putting on the glasses):

So what do you think? Do they help?

Carr.:

Very nice. Poets say the eyes are the windows to the soul Karoz wishes to stare into. Love is difficult. In the end, I decided to eat my last partner, Perch. Tasted like chicken. No, more like beef stroganoff. That’s [a] better [line].

Baker Blinker:

I am very happy, mind you.

Carr.

Of course. Talk to me some about Bogota, before he left. What happened between you two? That’s something I don’t know and I know a lot. Remember this is girl to girl talk and won’t leave my gazebo. Do you mind?

BB:

No, that’s fine. We went to… first base. Okay, we were heading toward second. Maybe we got 2/3rds the way there, maybe 3/4ths. Maybe. But I stopped it. Out at second; end of story (Baker Blinker makes a baseball out sign with her hand). Then he was gone. He invited me to travel the stars with him. Out there. Reinforced my confidence. But then with Karoz I hit a…

Carr. (eye raised to the door):

Homer! You snuck up on me and that’s another surprise. Come on in my boy.

Homer (speaking to each):

Hello Carrcassonee, hello Lisas, hello lady.

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Carr.:

Homer, do you know Baker Blinker, the other white Baker, tee hee?

Homer:

Didn’t I see you walking around the woods the other day — looking for a towel?

Carr.

Ahem, Homer, that was *me*.

Homer:

No, I’m pretty sure it was this lady here. At first I thought it was Marge. They look kind of similar in the shade.

—-

It took several hours for Baker Blinker to get over *that* conversation. “Comparing me to a *bulgy eyed* cartoon woman with 4 foot hair!” she kept thinking again and again while thrusting back and forth in her new rocking chair.

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Shower

Baker Bloch realizes he’s probably lost his home next to the forest. But it’s not a sad moment for him.

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Karoz still lives in his apartment above the market — not an option. There’s the old Norum Gallery, Baker remembers. He use to have a room on the bottom floor when it existed in Collagesity, Noru. But also he could just stay in Collage World for a little longer: keep talking to Past Father (aka Past Space Ghost), enjoy the beautiful scenery of the Lake District or Wiltshire County in England, hop over to Tungaske, Canada on a lark, or even visit Blue Mountain’s Whitehead Crossing pictured at the end of the Falmouth series. Spongeberg, for now, has decided to stay in The Crossing at his teepee. Baker has also spoken to him several times since being sucked up into the Red Umbrella vortex. He’ll certainly have some interesting stories to tell us all soon.

In other news, Carrcassonnee actually *did* walk out into the woods from the town stark naked, as Karl thought he made up. He’d really heard it from Karoz at the bar late the previous night, forgot it, and then twisted up the facts the next day in relaying what he perceived as a fictional story to Homer Simpson. The energy from the woods still has a way of scrambling your brains like that. In truth, Carrcassonnee (who is *always* “naked”, by the way) was testing out the new town shower set up by The Bakers in the 7th spire of Castle Jack right next to Karl’s bar, a most sacred place indeed now. It was a tight fit for the great olive being, but she managed to jam in and enjoy a most pleasurable shower indeed, the best she could remember. But toward the end she’d gotten some soap in her eye and wandered out of the spire through its now phantom prim and into the woods to the west, searching for a towel. Karoz saw her from its edge but was tied up at the moment, unable to help.

The next day, Dr. Blood and Homer find Carrcassone frozen in space and time not far from the beating heart of the woods.

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Just a few spoken words breaks the spell she’s under, and afterwards, they sit around a campfire set up more in the northwest corner of the forest (away from the strongest spots of energy) and share stories of far away lands and incredible journeys. A good night indeed.

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And the best news of all: Carrcassonnee’s eye was not damaged in the incident. If the eye goes out, that means all of Collagesity winks out with it. And we don’t want that. More is at stake now…

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Smipsons

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“It will take a while for Tinman to break out of that crack in the Multiverse,” said Carrcassonne. “*If* he makes it. In the meantime, Homer, I have a surprise for you. Turn around…”

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“Lisas! I mean Lisa! What have they done to you? You’re all multiple, like that Dolly sheep.”

“Lisa thought you’d understand better this way. She’s sorry she can’t be here in person but that’s not the way it works. Ask a question to Lisa and she’ll answer. Let me turn out the sun.”

“Which one?” asks Homer, standing before them. “Oh, all my beautiful daughters, all the same age, all as lovely as their mothers. I lost Marge too, you know.”

“Soon you will be reunited. Ask a question, any question.”

“Is it really you Lisa? Is this my little daughter?” The Lisa flattie including Homer lit up.

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“See how it works now, Homer? Ask another one.”

“Why am I trapped in this horrible place? Well, it’s not actually that bad. Actually…”

“The Lisa representing freedom lights up now,” said Carrcassonnee. “That means you are not trapped but free. Right now. You are three dimensional. Do you remember when you became so? Recall that Lisa has you holding up a doughnut in the previous answer, hint hint.”

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“Um, I guess it goes back to that hole in the closet of our house. I got all stretched out, then I fell through it and into a garbage bin next to a doughnut shop. Bart — poor, little sweet Bart — tried to save me with a rope but couldn’t. Is that what this is all about? That stupid hole?”

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“The Lisa dressed up as Alice in Wonderland lights up now, Homer, the famous fictional character who indeed fell into a hole, a rabbit one. Yes this is about the hole, or that’s where it started. I’m not sure how you wandered from the real world into the Rubi Woods but that’s how you got here. You’re not like your family any more, Homer. You’ve added a dimension. Do you remember The Before, when you were an animated flattie?”

“Kind of, I suppose. I can move better here. But I miss my Lisa, my family. Do you miss me too Lisa?”

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“The sad Lisa is illuminated now, Homer.”

“Oh Lisa, Lisa,” cried Homer. “You were always the smartest of all of us. You have to find a way to help me. Please, please, please! I don’t want to be alone.”

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Carrcassonnee ignites the sun again; the lights come up in the room. “You are not alone, Homer,” she says. “You have us.”

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Carrcassonnee darn not tell Homer the full truth here: that she was Lisa all along. She’s always been the real Lisa (among other things).

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Tin

“It’s Dr. Blood, right?”

Dr. Blood:

It use to be the Tin Woodman of Oz. But not the Tin Woodsman as it is often pronounced. Some called me just Tinman.

Carr.:

You are also known as Dr. Blood in Collagesity; that’s how I’ve always known you. But you don’t remember me.

Dr. Blood:

I do now. Starting just a couple of minute ago, when I first laid eyes on you.

Carr.:

And you remember being in Baker Blinker’s house taking a shower.

Dr. Blood:

I do now. It’s all kicking back. I was trapped in the woods that time forgot until this very morning. When I was a flesh and blood man — just like you, Homer — I chopped trees as a function. Nick Chopper I was called. I fell in love with a village maiden servant whose master did not approve. She bribed a wicked witch from the east to enchant my formerly trusted axe. I started hacking away at my own extremities one by one. An arm in January, a leg in March. Even my head at the end. Ku-klip the tinsmith replaced each with a tin replica as they went away. So I still thought, still breathed, still acted. Yet he forgot to make me a new heart. And I’ve never loved since. And so, to me, I’ve never *lived* since. Trapped until today.

Homer:

This story seems familiar. You’re not the Futurama robot?

Dr. Blood (patiently):

I’ve told you this story before, Homer. How I got caught in a shower and became immobile?

Carr.:

We’ve all heard portions of the story, Mr. Simpson. You have “The Wizard of Oz” film in your Springfield, don’t you? Some form of it is available in all planes I know of.

Homer:

Is that the one those Pink Floyd guys did the music for?

Carr.:

In one dimension, yes. How did you two meet?

Dr. Blood:

I found Homer in the meat of the forest surrounded on all sides by the transparent, hyperdimensional Tinbaby, the one who gave me my exterior heart from the future.

Homer:

Futurama, see? Told you.

Carr.:

Ah, the vortex opens. Collagesity citizens have seen the Tinbaby too.

Dr. Blood:

It is me in the future, when I get younger.

Carr.:

But you’re getting older, like all of us. I’m 415 now. Last year this time I was 414. And the year before that: 413. And so on back through the eons. Is that not how it works for you?

Dr. Blood:

It didn’t. But it does.

Carr.:

Stop your stop talk. I want to do a test now. Go up that ladder just behind you Dr. Blood and see if you pass through the door at the stop. Top, I meant there. Stop top? We’ll see.

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Null Void

“The weirdness of the woods is spreading beyond the 8×5 now that Bogota is inside it. Or underneath it. Whatever, Dr. Blood is obviously activated and roaming around again. I will temporarily have to remove the forest.”

Karoz:

Move the whole woods?

Carr.:

No, just eliminate it. Erase it. Temporarily, again. Until we can figure out how to adjust to the changes.

Baker Blinker:

But how?

Carr.:

It is already done. Go have a look-sy if you wish.

—–

Baker Blinker and Karoz take the short walk to the edge of the what should have been the Rubi Woods but was now an empty, treeless void. They both feel like a maleficent force has been removed, a strong gravity of ill direction.

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In the opposite dimension (and direction), Dr. Blood stares out from the woods toward a null space where Collagesity use to be. He’s essentially immobile, once more.

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“Dag gonnit!”

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Fourth

Carr.:

I thought you said Baker Blinker was coming along tonight, Karoz?”

Karoz:

She is. She said she had to pop over to her house real quick to check on something. I thought I’d come and keep you company while we wait.

Carr.:

I thank you for that. I’ll be frank: do you love her? I know you do.

Karoz:

I… think so.

Carr.:

Is this where it’s going to end? At the altar? Hybrid pink moss babies abounding (zip) a bounc’n?

Karoz:

I don’t know. I guess I would hope so. I’m not so sure about the babies.

Carr.:

They’d be adorable and you know it.

Karoz:

I’d hope they would take more after the mother. But… back to Bogota.

Carr.:

Yes, Bogota. But we better wait for Baker Blinker on that one.

(They wait 10 minutes)

Carr.:

Are you *sure* she knew about the meeting? You better go check.

—–

On his way out, he noticed Lisa The Vegetarian’s book had changed from “Floydada” to something else he didn’t quite understand yet. Not yet.

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When Karoz reached Baker Blinker’s porch, he heard running water. What he saw inside was also beyond his comprehension.

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He found he could not move. Neither did Baker Blinker.

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Reveal

Carr.:

Ahem, remind me what he likes to call himself now?

Baker Blinker:

Bogota. Like the projected collage series.

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“Hmmm.”

Carr.:

Ah yes. Bogota, Bogota. Got a sort of ring to it I suppose. Is this related to Boos-gota? (Bogota enters the gazebo) Ahhh… here he is now, fresh from a power nap. Hello David Bowie. Drat! I mean: Bogota.

Bogota:

Bogota is my name, while I’m here. Do you like it? Baker B. chose it for me. It’s one of his future collage series, hm-mm.

Carr.:

Yes, we know. But you are also S-y-d or S-I-D from the woods.

Bogota:

Um, yes, I am recalling that now, sir. Just now, though.

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Carr.:

You can reveal yourself for who you are here. No need for a mask.

Bogota:

Oh, okay. (Bogota fades out the mask)

Carr.:

So what is your true business here in Collagesity? We are honored to host such a distinguished guest. We are collectively a bit awestruck, actually.

Bogota:

Yeah (sniff). I do that to people. Actually I’m just here to read one book in particular and then leave. It’s the book by — Blood Curdling isn’t it? I’ve read the early chapters and am up to the one about, well, me again. (He smiles at both Baker Blinker and Carr.)

Carr.:

Yes, I’m sorry Blood Curdling is not one of our better town writers. Pete has a nice set of fictional detective stories if you’d like to read those instead. (turns to Baker Blinker) Pete… isn’t that his name? Pete Good… Pete Best… something. (Baker Blinker just shrugs.)

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Bogota:

Um, sure, thanks. I’ll take them with me.

Baker Blinker:

Where will you go next?

Bogota:

Out there. Mars. Saturn. Uranus. The universe beckons.

Carr:

Baker Blinker is wondering if the woods will still be haunted.

Bogota:

Well, that’s what I’m trying to determine. We’re trying to figure out what those, er, woods are about. This Collagesity depends on it for energy. A fire burning.

Carr.:

“We’re?”

Bogota:

Me and my mates. My mates and I. I’ve finally got to meet Syd now. We’re catching up. Planning the future. The skies the limit. (turning to Baker Blinker) Next life I might be Pink!

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Choices

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Is Baker Bloch back? There’s a distinct possibility he exited his entrapment in Collage World through the newest iteration of same seen here, which I’ve just inserted into the town museum next to its central Confluence Pool. I’m tempted to call the work “Death Stars”. The circumstances now are very similar to what happened at the beginning of the Sam Parr collage series about a year and a 1/2 ago. A Second Life scene I was focusing on instead transformed into a legitimate collage. *Is* this the beginning of a new collage series, perhaps the legendery Bogota or even Boos-gota (mashup of Boos collage series which it seems I *just* completed with the projected next series of Bogota)?

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And if Baker Bloch is back, does that mean Carrcassonnee can return to Collagesity from her exiled status over in Nautilus City? All strong possibilities. In fact we better say they’ve already happened and go from there. Baker Bloch approaches Carr. in *Collagesity*. Baker Blinker is already there.

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Carr.:

Karoz was there [at the beginning of the Sam Parr series]. Maybe you should just ask him what to do.

Baker Blinker:

I don’t think I’m quite ready to be put in mothballs, Carrcassonnee.

Carr.:

Of course you’re not sweetie. All characters want to live forever. But, like the [newest] collage tells us, death happens, and we all move on sometime.

Baker Bloch:

How much is just the immediate impact of the death of David Bowie?

Carr.:

A lot I would suppose. He was a powerful figure. His archetype stretches out into many dimensions. He is not dead, just pausing. (pause)

Baker Bloch:

Maybe I should just go back into Collage World. For the main flow of the story here.

Carr.:

Hucka Doobie is going to show up now. He will just hover above us — no need to rez a seat.

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Oh, it looks like he’s just going to stand between you. Is he your child?

Baker Blinker:

No. He is equal to us. He can *act* like our child, he can act like our parent, an uncle, a cousin. Whatever it takes. Right Hucka D.?

Carr.:

Hucka D. has trouble speaking in these chambers with others around.

Baker Bloch:

I would agree with Baker Blinker. But also add that Hucka D. *does* seem like a guiding spirit in the main.

Carr.:

You need his presence?

Baker Bloch:

Of course (!)

Carr.:

This is my decision. Baker Blinker, you still have issues unresolved that you must work through. Where is this Devil Dave? He must be gone, else I could not be here, back in Collagesity. Correct?

Baker Blinker:

I’m not sure.

Carr.:

And Karoz… if you go, then Karoz will probably leave us as well, don’t you think?

Baker Blinker:

Again…

Carr.:

My decision is that you both must stay now, until you resolve the issues. I also understand that Peter SoSo visited Collagesity through the collage. Wonderful! And he didn’t know who Karoz is or was. Isn’t that odd, since Karoz claims him as a great friend. How could that be?

Baker Bloch:

I have theorized that Karoz has been implanted with false memories of Crabwoo, stemming from Devil Dave. It was *DD*’s memories of Peter that Karoz remembers, not his own. This is similar to what happened in a Red Dwarf episode…

Carr.:

More Ancients you speak of here. And David Bowie himself is an Ancient. He appears in [“Carrcass+1”] not talking about Judy. His presence in *that synch* is coded into North Carolina.

Baker Bloch:

True enough. Queer.

Carr.:

There are too many queer things happening to call them queer any more. We can just call it a “bleedthrough.” Strong personalities begat bleedthroughs — black holes. Black Star black holes.

Baker Bloch:

And then there’s the whole [“Carrcass+2”] presence [of Bowie]. Superstrings are the prettiest star within.

Carr.:

He would like that. He *does* like that. Because he helped create it. No, the Bowie character will stick around as well. What’s his name?

Baker Blinker:

Well, we named him Peter SoSo to be honest with you.

Baker Bloch:

We were expecting him to turn out differently.

Carr.:

You thought he would be Peter Gabriel instead.

Bakers:

Yes.

—–

Carr.:

No, Peter SoSo will now live amongst you in Collagesity for awhile. Go about your business.

(Carrcassonee fades from vision. The burning lemon outside disappears as well.)

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Baker Bloch speaks up. “Anyone for a beer?”

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