Tag Archives: Carrcassonnee^^++++!

Groundside

(joined in progress)

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Baker Blinker:

I feel like it’s all my fault. Because I wanted those smaller eyes. To become more human.

Carr.:

They look very nice, Baker Blinker. And now you have changed your skin color back to pink as partial compromise. It’s all developing as expected.

BBlinker:

Not quite as pink as before.

Baker Bloch:

It looks the same to me.

Carr.:

That’s because we have gone back in time to create the backdrop of this meeting. It’s not as pink as it seems, Baker Bloch.

BBlinker:

Karoz was all set to change a bit too. He told me the night before he left that he was going to defy Old Kent and his gifts and make an effort[ in that direction].

Carr.:

Well, you see, that’s probably part of the problem, then. You two had to be separated, at least for a bit. The whole thing was staged, really. That’s actually not the moon of Second Life. The surface is as flat as a pancake subtract the craters. You have an interior, true, full of 14 monsters that is now one bad ass [delete name]. He likes to be known as Sask. Remember we devoted about a week’s time to the discussion of it back in January, Baker Blinker?

BBlinker:

No.

Carr.:

Well, we did. John Lockfry 01 did steal the lemon of a space capsule. It both exploded in midair with him and didn’t. He reached the moon, but through a time jump into the future. About 2 years for him… them, but only 2 days for Karoz. Benji tells me these thing.

BBloch:

The dog?

Carr.:

No. (recalibrating) I mean: yes. But at a price. He was split in two, like anima and animus. One was crippled like the monster-free moon itself. One remained standing. Both are as crazy as cats; Benji reinforces this to no end.

BBlinker:

What about Karoz?

Carr.:

Karoz redesigned the ship to make it safer. He legitimately made it to this so-called moon in the correct time period. No jump needed. He encountered future John Lockfry there, who had already split… in two I mean. He didn’t leave the moon. But, an update by Benji just now in real time: Karoz at least knows about the *real* moon, the smaller one to him but which will become the same size as the fake one in no time atall. How about that? Real time updating taking place during our meeting.

BBloch:

Cool. Where do I fit into all this?

Carr.:

You are the town custodian. Not just for the collage but for all of Collegesity. You clean up. [You are] okay with that?

BBloch:

Sure. But what if I had made the trip with Karoz? What would have become of me?

Carr.:

It was all staged, as stated. Karoz would go alone. Baker Blinker and he needed a gap between them. But now he can bridge the gap by making a leap not of doom but of faith. Will he do it? becomes the next door in our journey.

BBlinker:

I can’t help but worry. I’m going to change my eyes back until he returns.

Carr.:

Might not hurt.

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Memories.

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Fire

“Mind you I’m still working on it, but I’d like to present it to the John Lockfrys as soon as possible. What do you think? Go ahead and get up and take a look if you wish. There’s an awful lot of detail involved.”

Karoz stands up and moves toward the picture.

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“It’s a remarkable product already if I say so myself,” Carrcassonnee continued. “The 36 tiles of Carrcass-1 to the left, and then the 18 of Carrcass-2 and [Carrcass-]3 to the right. That brings us to late 2009, approaching Christmas. Little Robert Plant Variant has just purchased a $L5000 antique zeppelin at the Chieut Mall as a present to himself. Cpt. Beefheart is still searching for his blimp.”

“I don’t understand,” Karoz says. “This is a picture of a well dressed rooster with 3 squares around him. But rooster is spelled r-o-o-s-t-r-e. This must be something to do with “12 Oz Mouse” again.”

“There is no rooster, Karoz. There are only tiles. TILE.”

Suddenly a huge roar came from the direction of the House of True Lies. John Lockfry 01 had taken the opportunity to steal Karoz’s rocketship and head to the moon without him.

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Carrcassonnee comes outside and stares with Karoz at the ascending spacecraft. “Fire, I suppose.”

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Blood Dr.

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“You watched a collage film by baker b. called “Blood Dr.” John Lockfry 01. What did you think of it?”

“Confusing,” he said. “Bizarre. I don’t understand any of it, really.”

“Well, you obviously remember Jacobi’s cabin within,” continued Carrcassonnee. “You crossed the ash line to enter, with Benji back then. How is Benji anyway?”

“I don’t know,” replied John Lockfry 01.

“I have a picture of Benji here, actually,” the great olive being then said. “Perhaps you will recognize it. Let me put it against that far wall, above Baker Blinker’s bed she sometimes uses while staying in my Collagesity. Oh, it appears she is still sleeping there… didn’t see her, ha ha.”

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John Lockfry 01 pivots to view the picture above a still drowsing Baker Blinker Karl. His curiosity piqued, he gets up. “Is it okay if I take a closer look?”

“Maybe we should rouse Baker Blinker first. Baker Blinker?” Carrcassonnee pauses. “Baker?” She paused again. “Well, I hate to wake her up from such a sound sleep, so go ahead and approach the picture. Just do it quietly.”

John Lockfry 01 gets up and moves toward the picture, stopping just in front of the bed. He stands there for a moment…

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…and then returns to his seat in front of Carrcassonnee. He speaks to John Lockfry 02. “That’s the picture in the cabin. You remember, don’t you?”

“We don’t exactly have the same memories, Past Lockfry.” he responds. “I remember entering the cabin with a dog and seeing a picture of a human on the wall. It is backwards for me. I stand outside the magic circle now, looking in wistfully.”

“But that’s the dog Benji,” reinforces John Lockfry 01. “From the movie.”

“Yes, that’s how I entered the cabin. With Benji.” John Lockfry 02 stares at John Lockfry 01, wondering if he understands the ramifications of what he’s saying.

Carrcassonnee attempts to explain. “John Lockfry 01, we’re in a collage film right now, as I speak. Collagesity is a perpetual collage. It doesn’t stop at the movie theater up in Collagesity Heights any longer. It is here with us. It is now. It is. But we better talk about Crabwoo. That’s in [Blood Dr.] as well. Let me put the image in your mind this time.

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John Lockfry 01 lurches back. “Whoa… yeah, I remember that. What the heck?”

“Crabwoo,” Carrcassonnee repeats.

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Unch

There are many magical things about the Rubi Woods I’ve yet to write about in this blog, most of which were left out of Furry Karl’s gothic slanted, best selling book (“Blood Curdling Tells of the Forest”). Some of the more interesting ones pivot around the existence of a deciduous tree of different species than all others in the forest, never seen during daylight hours but which can be found on at least certain nights firmly rooted in the ground at coordinates 168, 168. It is known in these legends by a number of names, mostly commonly “The Unchoppable” or “Unchoppable”. Other appellations include “The Missing Piece”, “The 200th”, “The Walking Tree”, or simply “The Forest Tree” or “The Tree”. Variations of the tale have it hovering at the triple coordinate 168, 168, 168 during the day (in visible or invisible guise), and then descending to the ground directly below after sunset, often staying at that particular spot until sunrise the next day but also able to move about the forest at will if needed.

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The Unchoppable at 168, 168, 168 (dramatization).

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The Unchoppable on the forest floor directly below just before sunrise.

In truth, Unch, as the special tree prefers to be called, has been monitoring the progress of Collagesity from its 168, 168, 168 vantage point since the beginning. Seeing many different kinds of avatars now milling about the place, she decided it was time to reveal herself.

Just after midnight on February 4th, 2016, Unch walks out of the forest and down Cannon Street, heading toward the town deity’s gazebo for introductions.

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As Carrcassonnee was sound asleep, Unch had to rustle its leaves quite a number of times to rouse her.

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“Oh. Hello!”

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Hired?

(joined in progress)

“Thank you for attending the impromptu meeting. As you can see, Karl, Baker Bloch is back. He’s applied for the custodial position at Karoz’s new school. Isn’t that exciting for him?”

Karl (eyeing Baker Bloch):

I suppose. No offense, Baker Bloch, but I’m more worried right now about my three-dimensional situation. And my new needs, Ancient in origin. Pole dancers… prostitutes… the like. I thought I was done with all that crud.

Carr.:

So did we, Karl. Yet Homer Simpson and Dr. Blood are both gone from the city. My city. My huge heart is heavy — heavier — because I not only lost a father but a friend. And on the other side, I not only lost a friend but a personal physician who knew my peculiar ins and outs. Both will be hard to replace. But a new stranger is on the horizon, about to turn the angle down Cannon Street. Can you guess?

Karl:

Pipi Longstockings?

Carr.:

Not too far off, Karl. But at the same time: very far off.

Baker Bloch (to Karl):

Is it uncomfortable in there for Baker Blinker? I’ve been experimenting with my own shape recently. I find it — unsettling.

Carr. (to Baker):

Karl does not understand what you mean by that.

BB:

I mean… never mind.

Carr.:

Baker Blinker was unable to attend the meeting today.

BB:

Jeez, wonder why? (Karl stares at him)

Carr.:

I will catch her up later when we meet with Karoz on board. Should be interesting.

BB:

So what happened [with the vortex in the Town Hall]?

Carr.:

Homer went back to his two-dimensional cartoon family, as he desired. Dr. Blood, in his ultra-generous nature, sacrificed himself to make sure this came about. But now we have Karl instead as a 3d character, and having basal needs again due to it. He does *not* want to return to his quote unquote cartoon family, his own breed of Ancients and now ours as well. He wishes to remain here. And this was a way to do it. Unfortunately he’ll have to quit the bar since he can’t fit behind the counter now. Another flattie will have to be hired to slot in there. Not Baker Bloch obviously. Any suggestions? I can’t let go of Lisa Simpson, even if she is a shadow of what I formerly was. Cardboard Derek Jones is a possibility.

Karl:

No, I can’t go back, and that’s a shame. To the bar, I mean. No, I don’t want to return to those weirdo Aqua Teen action figures, or whatever they are. I was the only human or humanoid among them, you remember.

Carr.:

I do. But, also, you have strong elements of Rhoda the bartender from “12 Oz Mouse”, which I’m more familiar with. Hmmm, I suppose we could just manifest Rhoda as a flattie.

Karl:

There. That’s solved. Now what do *I* do?

Carr:

There’s an opening for the custodial position at Karoz’s new school. You could live in the back room, Baker Bloch’s old room back in Noru, actually. You could fill in his shoes… oh.

Baker Bloch:

Yeah, “oh”. Which one of us gets the job?

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And what’s with Karl’s queer mask?

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Suck

While Karl watched helpless, another one of those vortex thingies quickly formed in the center of the Town Diner and took Dr. Blood in, along with his strangely attached pole.

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Homer Simpson appeared at the door just in time to witness the last foot disappear.

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“Stand back, fat boy,” warned Karl across the whirlpool, “you may be next!”

“Who are *you* calling fat!” cried back Homer. But then he too got sucked in, quick as a wink.

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“Hmm,” said Carl, standing in the vortex’s diminishing center now. “I wonder why it’s not affecting me?”

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Then it was gone as Carrcassonnee came squeezing through the door. “I was afraid that was going to happen,” she lamented. “My two friends!”

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Karl stood in front of her. “Sucks, doesn’t it?”

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Eyes

“Someone is at the Fal Mouth Moon gallery. I heard the vortex teleport all the way up here.” They were sitting in Karoz’s apartment above the Bodega market, staring out at the green terrain.

“Yes, I hear it too once in a while,” responds Karoz. “Listen… I’m sorry about the suggestion. We are just starting out. We’ll make adjustments and move forward.”

“There will be some changes,” Baker Blinker says defiantly, thinking Karoz is talking a bit like an academic administrator again. “Baker Bloch has handed me the keys to his house. I would feel guilty if we didn’t have the same user. But you are somehow different in that respect. How?”

“I was born considerably after the original group you guys were in. I am from a specific place to start off with: Chilbo.”

“But you *aren’t* from Chilbo. Or Chilbol either.”

“No,” admits Karoz. “But I am from Norum and that’s nearby.”

“It’s time to tell me — us — the truth. Peter SoSo showed up in Collagesity to play in the celebration party after the Intense Shower. That’s what it’s starting to be called.”

“Yeah, I know.” He thought back to the embarrassing 7th Spire incident with the shower, obviously enough.

“But when you went up [to Peter SoSo] and said hi and started talking about the past, he didn’t seem to recognize you. Or was he being extremely cold to you for some reason? I can’t figure it out.”

Karoz doesn’t immediately answer, but instead stares out the window, looking toward the neighboring Sikkima sim. He points in its direction.

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“Do you know Collagesity use to exist in that large sinkhole over there, Baker? Well, it was technically New Pietmond but same idea. It’s the only one on the oldest continents that we know of. Odd, huh? They say the Sylver Forest extended to at least its edge.”

Baker Blinker was again tired of beating about the bushes. “What don’t you like about my eyes?”

—–

Afterwards Baker Blinker goes to see Carrcassonnee.

Baker Blinker (after putting on the glasses):

So what do you think? Do they help?

Carr.:

Very nice. Poets say the eyes are the windows to the soul Karoz wishes to stare into. Love is difficult. In the end, I decided to eat my last partner, Perch. Tasted like chicken. No, more like beef stroganoff. That’s [a] better [line].

Baker Blinker:

I am very happy, mind you.

Carr.

Of course. Talk to me some about Bogota, before he left. What happened between you two? That’s something I don’t know and I know a lot. Remember this is girl to girl talk and won’t leave my gazebo. Do you mind?

BB:

No, that’s fine. We went to… first base. Okay, we were heading toward second. Maybe we got 2/3rds the way there, maybe 3/4ths. Maybe. But I stopped it. Out at second; end of story (Baker Blinker makes a baseball out sign with her hand). Then he was gone. He invited me to travel the stars with him. Out there. Reinforced my confidence. But then with Karoz I hit a…

Carr. (eye raised to the door):

Homer! You snuck up on me and that’s another surprise. Come on in my boy.

Homer (speaking to each):

Hello Carrcassonee, hello Lisas, hello lady.

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Carr.:

Homer, do you know Baker Blinker, the other white Baker, tee hee?

Homer:

Didn’t I see you walking around the woods the other day — looking for a towel?

Carr.

Ahem, Homer, that was *me*.

Homer:

No, I’m pretty sure it was this lady here. At first I thought it was Marge. They look kind of similar in the shade.

—-

It took several hours for Baker Blinker to get over *that* conversation. “Comparing me to a *bulgy eyed* cartoon woman with 4 foot hair!” she kept thinking again and again while thrusting back and forth in her new rocking chair.

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Shower

Baker Bloch realizes he’s probably lost his home next to the forest. But it’s not a sad moment for him.

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Karoz still lives in his apartment above the market — not an option. There’s the old Norum Gallery, Baker remembers. He use to have a room on the bottom floor when it existed in Collagesity, Noru. But also he could just stay in Collage World for a little longer: keep talking to Past Father (aka Past Space Ghost), enjoy the beautiful scenery of the Lake District or Wiltshire County in England, hop over to Tungaske, Canada on a lark, or even visit Blue Mountain’s Whitehead Crossing pictured at the end of the Falmouth series. Spongeberg, for now, has decided to stay in The Crossing at his teepee. Baker has also spoken to him several times since being sucked up into the Red Umbrella vortex. He’ll certainly have some interesting stories to tell us all soon.

In other news, Carrcassonnee actually *did* walk out into the woods from the town stark naked, as Karl thought he made up. He’d really heard it from Karoz at the bar late the previous night, forgot it, and then twisted up the facts the next day in relaying what he perceived as a fictional story to Homer Simpson. The energy from the woods still has a way of scrambling your brains like that. In truth, Carrcassonnee (who is *always* “naked”, by the way) was testing out the new town shower set up by The Bakers in the 7th spire of Castle Jack right next to Karl’s bar, a most sacred place indeed now. It was a tight fit for the great olive being, but she managed to jam in and enjoy a most pleasurable shower indeed, the best she could remember. But toward the end she’d gotten some soap in her eye and wandered out of the spire through its now phantom prim and into the woods to the west, searching for a towel. Karoz saw her from its edge but was tied up at the moment, unable to help.

The next day, Dr. Blood and Homer find Carrcassone frozen in space and time not far from the beating heart of the woods.

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Just a few spoken words breaks the spell she’s under, and afterwards, they sit around a campfire set up more in the northwest corner of the forest (away from the strongest spots of energy) and share stories of far away lands and incredible journeys. A good night indeed.

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And the best news of all: Carrcassonnee’s eye was not damaged in the incident. If the eye goes out, that means all of Collagesity winks out with it. And we don’t want that. More is at stake now…

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Smipsons

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“It will take a while for Tinman to break out of that crack in the Multiverse,” said Carrcassonne. “*If* he makes it. In the meantime, Homer, I have a surprise for you. Turn around…”

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“Lisas! I mean Lisa! What have they done to you? You’re all multiple, like that Dolly sheep.”

“Lisa thought you’d understand better this way. She’s sorry she can’t be here in person but that’s not the way it works. Ask a question to Lisa and she’ll answer. Let me turn out the sun.”

“Which one?” asks Homer, standing before them. “Oh, all my beautiful daughters, all the same age, all as lovely as their mothers. I lost Marge too, you know.”

“Soon you will be reunited. Ask a question, any question.”

“Is it really you Lisa? Is this my little daughter?” The Lisa flattie including Homer lit up.

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“See how it works now, Homer? Ask another one.”

“Why am I trapped in this horrible place? Well, it’s not actually that bad. Actually…”

“The Lisa representing freedom lights up now,” said Carrcassonnee. “That means you are not trapped but free. Right now. You are three dimensional. Do you remember when you became so? Recall that Lisa has you holding up a doughnut in the previous answer, hint hint.”

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“Um, I guess it goes back to that hole in the closet of our house. I got all stretched out, then I fell through it and into a garbage bin next to a doughnut shop. Bart — poor, little sweet Bart — tried to save me with a rope but couldn’t. Is that what this is all about? That stupid hole?”

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“The Lisa dressed up as Alice in Wonderland lights up now, Homer, the famous fictional character who indeed fell into a hole, a rabbit one. Yes this is about the hole, or that’s where it started. I’m not sure how you wandered from the real world into the Rubi Woods but that’s how you got here. You’re not like your family any more, Homer. You’ve added a dimension. Do you remember The Before, when you were an animated flattie?”

“Kind of, I suppose. I can move better here. But I miss my Lisa, my family. Do you miss me too Lisa?”

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“The sad Lisa is illuminated now, Homer.”

“Oh Lisa, Lisa,” cried Homer. “You were always the smartest of all of us. You have to find a way to help me. Please, please, please! I don’t want to be alone.”

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Carrcassonnee ignites the sun again; the lights come up in the room. “You are not alone, Homer,” she says. “You have us.”

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Carrcassonnee darn not tell Homer the full truth here: that she was Lisa all along. She’s always been the real Lisa (among other things).

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Tin

“It’s Dr. Blood, right?”

Dr. Blood:

It use to be the Tin Woodman of Oz. But not the Tin Woodsman as it is often pronounced. Some called me just Tinman.

Carr.:

You are also known as Dr. Blood in Collagesity; that’s how I’ve always known you. But you don’t remember me.

Dr. Blood:

I do now. Starting just a couple of minute ago, when I first laid eyes on you.

Carr.:

And you remember being in Baker Blinker’s house taking a shower.

Dr. Blood:

I do now. It’s all kicking back. I was trapped in the woods that time forgot until this very morning. When I was a flesh and blood man — just like you, Homer — I chopped trees as a function. Nick Chopper I was called. I fell in love with a village maiden servant whose master did not approve. She bribed a wicked witch from the east to enchant my formerly trusted axe. I started hacking away at my own extremities one by one. An arm in January, a leg in March. Even my head at the end. Ku-klip the tinsmith replaced each with a tin replica as they went away. So I still thought, still breathed, still acted. Yet he forgot to make me a new heart. And I’ve never loved since. And so, to me, I’ve never *lived* since. Trapped until today.

Homer:

This story seems familiar. You’re not the Futurama robot?

Dr. Blood (patiently):

I’ve told you this story before, Homer. How I got caught in a shower and became immobile?

Carr.:

We’ve all heard portions of the story, Mr. Simpson. You have “The Wizard of Oz” film in your Springfield, don’t you? Some form of it is available in all planes I know of.

Homer:

Is that the one those Pink Floyd guys did the music for?

Carr.:

In one dimension, yes. How did you two meet?

Dr. Blood:

I found Homer in the meat of the forest surrounded on all sides by the transparent, hyperdimensional Tinbaby, the one who gave me my exterior heart from the future.

Homer:

Futurama, see? Told you.

Carr.:

Ah, the vortex opens. Collagesity citizens have seen the Tinbaby too.

Dr. Blood:

It is me in the future, when I get younger.

Carr.:

But you’re getting older, like all of us. I’m 415 now. Last year this time I was 414. And the year before that: 413. And so on back through the eons. Is that not how it works for you?

Dr. Blood:

It didn’t. But it does.

Carr.:

Stop your stop talk. I want to do a test now. Go up that ladder just behind you Dr. Blood and see if you pass through the door at the stop. Top, I meant there. Stop top? We’ll see.

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