Tag Archives: Homer Smipson^*

The Donut Hole

“We’re nearing the end, Jim B., but we have no end. We’re doomed! I’m going to pray for one.”

“Not so fast my fellow B. There’s the car. Fast.”

The person in the back pondered whether to order another box of donuts.

Keith B. unfolded his hands and looked outside. “Little Jimmy? Bought on a whim?”

“No, the other Porsche. The throw-in.”

“Penny 1.01? That old clunker?”

“Maybe the first, then. Whassitsname again?”


“Like the sausage?” which made Keith B. think about something else.

“Um… different than the sausage.”

“I wonder if they have sausage here?” asked sweets weary Jim B.

“Donuts, 12 more donuts!” the yellow man shouts from in back.

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Filed under **VIRTUAL, Maebaleia/Satori^^, Pipersville/Sink X^

“You don’t have to bear that weight alone.”


“Top of the line, my Queen.”

“Princess please. I haven’t been confirmed yet.”

“So sorry. My Princess.” He looks toward the doll house again. “Just rolled out last month. 11 rooms for this baby.” He was counting the 3 bathrooms and the crawl space but didn’t mention this fact. Always the pitch person.

“Sandy. May I call you Sandy?”

“Of course my highness.”

“Sandy. If you don’t mind me saying, you have quite a reputation following you around. I read the reviews online. It seems…”

“Say no more. I’ll pack up my wares and move on. I am greatly humbled by even your interest in our fine products.”

“No, I wasn’t implying that I’m not interested. I am.” She winked one red eye at Sandy, who understood what he had to do — once again — to make a sale. So golden and glinty this one is. Better make sure the lights are dimmed way down.


Afterwards he had one of those strange 1/2 doll house 1/2 real house dreams where the sprinkler system went off by accident.

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Filed under **VIRTUAL, Rosehaven^^

HF 02

“Hoomer. Hoooomer. It is I. Carrcassonne. Come to take you back. You come back, I come back.”

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Filed under **VIRTUAL, Rosehaven^^, Rubi^


“Sure you don’t want next game, Grandpa?”

“No, Tessa, thank you.” Because he was looking for someone.


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Filed under **VIRTUAL, Rosehaven^^


While Karl watched helpless, another one of those vortex thingies quickly formed in the center of the Town Diner and took Dr. Blood in, along with his strangely attached pole.


Homer Simpson appeared at the door just in time to witness the last foot disappear.


“Stand back, fat boy,” warned Karl across the whirlpool, “you may be next!”

“Who are *you* calling fat!” cried back Homer. But then he too got sucked in, quick as a wink.


“Hmm,” said Carl, standing in the vortex’s diminishing center now. “I wonder why it’s not affecting me?”


Then it was gone as Carrcassonnee came squeezing through the door. “I was afraid that was going to happen,” she lamented. “My two friends!”


Karl stood in front of her. “Sucks, doesn’t it?”



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Filed under **VIRTUAL, Heterocera^^, Rubi^


“Someone is at the Fal Mouth Moon gallery. I heard the vortex teleport all the way up here.” They were sitting in Karoz’s apartment above the Bodega market, staring out at the green terrain.

“Yes, I hear it too once in a while,” responds Karoz. “Listen… I’m sorry about the suggestion. We are just starting out. We’ll make adjustments and move forward.”

“There will be some changes,” Baker Blinker says defiantly, thinking Karoz is talking a bit like an academic administrator again. “Baker Bloch has handed me the keys to his house. I would feel guilty if we didn’t have the same user. But you are somehow different in that respect. How?”

“I was born considerably after the original group you guys were in. I am from a specific place to start off with: Chilbo.”

“But you *aren’t* from Chilbo. Or Chilbol either.”

“No,” admits Karoz. “But I am from Norum and that’s nearby.”

“It’s time to tell me — us — the truth. Peter SoSo showed up in Collagesity to play in the celebration party after the Intense Shower. That’s what it’s starting to be called.”

“Yeah, I know.” He thought back to the embarrassing 7th Spire incident with the shower, obviously enough.

“But when you went up [to Peter SoSo] and said hi and started talking about the past, he didn’t seem to recognize you. Or was he being extremely cold to you for some reason? I can’t figure it out.”

Karoz doesn’t immediately answer, but instead stares out the window, looking toward the neighboring Sikkima sim. He points in its direction.


“Do you know Collagesity use to exist in that large sinkhole over there, Baker? Well, it was technically New Pietmond but same idea. It’s the only one on the oldest continents that we know of. Odd, huh? They say the Sylver Forest extended to at least its edge.”

Baker Blinker was again tired of beating about the bushes. “What don’t you like about my eyes?”


Afterwards Baker Blinker goes to see Carrcassonnee.

Baker Blinker (after putting on the glasses):

So what do you think? Do they help?


Very nice. Poets say the eyes are the windows to the soul Karoz wishes to stare into. Love is difficult. In the end, I decided to eat my last partner, Perch. Tasted like chicken. No, more like beef stroganoff. That’s [a] better [line].

Baker Blinker:

I am very happy, mind you.


Of course. Talk to me some about Bogota, before he left. What happened between you two? That’s something I don’t know and I know a lot. Remember this is girl to girl talk and won’t leave my gazebo. Do you mind?


No, that’s fine. We went to… first base. Okay, we were heading toward second. Maybe we got 2/3rds the way there, maybe 3/4ths. Maybe. But I stopped it. Out at second; end of story (Baker Blinker makes a baseball out sign with her hand). Then he was gone. He invited me to travel the stars with him. Out there. Reinforced my confidence. But then with Karoz I hit a…

Carr. (eye raised to the door):

Homer! You snuck up on me and that’s another surprise. Come on in my boy.

Homer (speaking to each):

Hello Carrcassonee, hello Lisas, hello lady.



Homer, do you know Baker Blinker, the other white Baker, tee hee?


Didn’t I see you walking around the woods the other day — looking for a towel?


Ahem, Homer, that was *me*.


No, I’m pretty sure it was this lady here. At first I thought it was Marge. They look kind of similar in the shade.


It took several hours for Baker Blinker to get over *that* conversation. “Comparing me to a *bulgy eyed* cartoon woman with 4 foot hair!” she kept thinking again and again while thrusting back and forth in her new rocking chair.


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Baker Bloch realizes he’s probably lost his home next to the forest. But it’s not a sad moment for him.


Karoz still lives in his apartment above the market — not an option. There’s the old Norum Gallery, Baker remembers. He use to have a room on the bottom floor when it existed in Collagesity, Noru. But also he could just stay in Collage World for a little longer: keep talking to Past Father (aka Past Space Ghost), enjoy the beautiful scenery of the Lake District or Wiltshire County in England, hop over to Tungaske, Canada on a lark, or even visit Blue Mountain’s Whitehead Crossing pictured at the end of the Falmouth series. Spongeberg, for now, has decided to stay in The Crossing at his teepee. Baker has also spoken to him several times since being sucked up into the Red Umbrella vortex. He’ll certainly have some interesting stories to tell us all soon.

In other news, Carrcassonnee actually *did* walk out into the woods from the town stark naked, as Karl thought he made up. He’d really heard it from Karoz at the bar late the previous night, forgot it, and then twisted up the facts the next day in relaying what he perceived as a fictional story to Homer Simpson. The energy from the woods still has a way of scrambling your brains like that. In truth, Carrcassonnee (who is *always* “naked”, by the way) was testing out the new town shower set up by The Bakers in the 7th spire of Castle Jack right next to Karl’s bar, a most sacred place indeed now. It was a tight fit for the great olive being, but she managed to jam in and enjoy a most pleasurable shower indeed, the best she could remember. But toward the end she’d gotten some soap in her eye and wandered out of the spire through its now phantom prim and into the woods to the west, searching for a towel. Karoz saw her from its edge but was tied up at the moment, unable to help.

The next day, Dr. Blood and Homer find Carrcassone frozen in space and time not far from the beating heart of the woods.


Just a few spoken words breaks the spell she’s under, and afterwards, they sit around a campfire set up more in the northwest corner of the forest (away from the strongest spots of energy) and share stories of far away lands and incredible journeys. A good night indeed.



And the best news of all: Carrcassonnee’s eye was not damaged in the incident. If the eye goes out, that means all of Collagesity winks out with it. And we don’t want that. More is at stake now…

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Filed under **VIRTUAL, ., Heterocera^^, Rubi^