Tag Archives: Preacher Ziegler^*

00420310

“We should really think about renting this 4096 parcel, Baker Bloch,” said Cheesehead Martha Lamb, really trying to help, really trying to further the cause of her hometown Aisle of Palms into the future. “I mean, look at the colors on the sign. TILE again, even.”

“Yess,” spoke a still unconvinced Baker, true owner of town since he was the Mr. Moneybags of the place. He’d have to pay the extra rent. He’d have to find ways to cut back in the real world to justify the cost. $50 artistic allowance each month. This would top it out. Maybe unsubscribe to a TV app…

“You can build a new and true TILE Temple. You can make a true aisle of palms leading up to it. The place is desecrated as it stands. Part of the temple destroyed, palms removed. Look over there (!).”

So Baker Bloch turned around with Martha Lamb (who was actually Wheeler playing a role) to stare at the missing parts of the temple, the missing palms, even Danny’s trailer on the side of Fal Mouth Moon gallery. Who will clean up the bathrooms there if Janitor Danny doesn’t have a place to live?

“2 months,” spoke Martha. “2 month trial. 30 bucks extra during that span. What could it really hurt?”

He (I) counted it up in his (my) head. Close to 16000 square meters, almost a 4th of a sim. Cooperative neighbors. It all seemed set up.

“Alright,” Baker said. “I’ll probably do it.”

“Fine. I’ll tell Stephan. *We’ll* help out with the money.”

Sure you will, thought Baker. Sure you will.

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00420302

“I found this in the same county as White Stone, Hucka. Merry and Mary, just like in St. Merry’s (?) Church.”

“Follow up on that,” she requests. So I did. I talked to Pastor Ziegler about the weird conjunction.

—–

“That’s interesting it’s Mary Ball there as well.”

“As well?” I prompted.

“Yes. Mary Ball is the mother of George Washington. And it happens that it’s Pitch Darkly’s Mary’s maiden name too. Can’t be coincidence.”

“Again,” I replied.

“Especially since they also have a kid named George, come to think of it. Not sure how old the boy would be now. Maybe even a teenager?”

“He was growing up fast the last time I checked,” I agreed

“Anyway (*sigh*), this is certainly a mystery indeed. Another Virginia neck mystery.”

“First Susan and Shadow. Now this. Lively… variant names of both Pitch Penny and Catch Penny, inferring a battery in baseball. Balls are more lively than they use to be back in the dead ball era, before the death of Indian Ray Chapman via beaning and the cleaning up of (the ball and) the game, giving hitters the upper hand over pitchers (and catchers) from that day forward. Martyr, some say because of it.”

“I’m glad you are confiding all this to me,” spoke Pastor Stephan Ziegler of the 1st Church of St. Merry’s — yes, that’s the name — who seemed just happy to be part of the town story again. Aisle of Palms… stated he loves it in all its interesting twists and turns. I thought to myself that he’s probably just glad I didn’t instead go to Rev. Amos T. Sandman across the street at the rival Fries with Cheese Church with my insights — gives him the upper hand there as well. But of course Amos is rarely in the building because of the smell. Allergic to cheese of all things. And they built the church out of the material, as traditional states. No one can really stay there that long without wearing clothes pins on their noses, and so that became part of their traditional as well, part of ecclesiastical lore.

Fries with Cheese office manager Martha Lamb takes note of Baker’s exit from her second floor office window while getting ready to go home herself. She can free up the nostrils at last. Worst part of the job — everything else she loves, just like Stephan, who she perceives as a direct arch-rival, assuming that role for the mainly absent Reverend, she feels

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wedding 03

Weddings at St. Mary’s traditionally took place after the Munday sermon so Preacher Stephan had to sacrifice a Renaldo O’Donnell clown first to appease the Gods. Tradition as well.

“Oops, that was a real squirter Pitch, ha.” The Darklys excused themselves to go home and wash clothes.

Afterwards church officials found the sacrificial altar was too heavy to move, so they made do with a cheap wedding booth found buried in a pile of junk at the back of the annex. Toothpick and Elberta then said their “I do’s” to Preacher Ziegler, since Preacher Stephan, a Northerner, refused to acknowledge the Deep South tradition of marrying siblings as kosher.

At the reception, Marty sang one of his beautiful love ditties to Saffie sitting with Toothpick, Elberta and best man Zapppa, hoping to get a better rental unit out of it.

Time to cut the cake. Big Wanda becomes annoyed about the orange butterflies that keep flying off her head in the excitement and leaves the task solely to Toothpick.

As feared, Her Majesty the local bigfoot/yeti came up from the new hole behind St. Mary’s to pay her respects to the newlyweds but was surprisingly controlled by the Corona-V pirates and ended up not eating anyone.

Lastly: group picture. Everyone had a laugh about all the innuendos.

And that’s it! Log another Collagesity or Sunklands photo-novel in the books.

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