Tag Archives: Preacher Ziegler^*+++++

00510607

“Thank you for treating us to lunch at this fabulous eating establishment in our fair fair town.”

“Yes thank you,” echoed Preacher Ziegler, presider over their marriage as Doctor Doughmachine beside him presided over Okama’s death and subsequent quick cremation. They had to do it that way because of the Pill. Highly contagious, you see. Hiigh.

The just married, just redubbed Silvers across from them both nodded, waited for more. Tony B. was still in his wedding tux but Shelley J. had to change out of her gown for fear of ruining the train. They were scheduled to leave town on it at 10:09 tomorrow morning, Eastern Standard Time — *North Carolina* Standard Time not accidentally. Because they were subbing one for another in this deal with a devil likewise named Bandana like the borough still surrounding them and, yes, still threatening to absorb them. Even if they didn’t realize it at this time. They thought marriage would set them free. He’d maybe been turned back to his original form of exotic pizza topping again but the talking banana’s influence would be felt for months, years, days after this. 10:09 now. Only 12 hours before the train and only 12 hours after their friend, their former Silver band member Okama Majo had passed away. And 24 hours after they originally thought of getting the marriage license, I’ll add. It all happened just that quick, as in a wink, as in an eye.

Dr. Doughmachine passed a Burger King cup across the table to the Silvers which they at first thought was a shake. But the hand stayed behind while the cup remained and they knew what it was by Doughmachine’s somber appearance. “Here. This is yours now. His body is in your hands. Do with it what you wilt.”

Frankie and Johnny, I mean, Shelley J. and Tony B. hadn’t even considered this. Where would they scatter Okama’s ashes? Certainly not this town, the place where he contracted the often fatal Pill and died as a result. Perhaps Nawt Vaya, around the Kidd Tower. It was here that Shelley considered the fate of Mr. Babyface who also lived in that structure, if not in Nawt Vaya itself. Is the Kidd Tower cursed? she couldn’t help think. First Mr. Babyface with the Orgamast water funnel and now–

“Dear,” Tony B. interrupted his new wife’s reverie. “It’s time to go back to the motel. Honeymoon,” he summarized his banana fueled urges in a word while gathering up the cup with Okama’s remains. They might never leave. tbc?

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00510604 (Silvers)

His head kept pivoting toward her atop his otherwise static body but she was just that much of a head turner to him, although she didn’t think of herself that way. Modest; naive even. Part of the appeal obviously. A peel.

On the 5th night of their 5 day stay in Bandanaboro, right after their last gig at Rock & Jim’s Gay Ol’ Music Club on Rehab Road, Tony B. and Shelley J. were married in a private ceremony at Belle’s Lost Church off Holy Hero Street, catty-corner to the courthouse where they just got their license for a flat 60 dollar fee per state law with no waiting period between its purchase and the wedding itself required. Fellow Silver band member Okama Majo — make that *former* Silver band member — couldn’t attend since he was on his death bed, or at least 66.67% of his doctors thought so. Tony and Shelley probably wanted to squeeze in the wedding before the funeral. The talking anthropomorphic banana also named Bandana was now nowhere to be found, having been eliminated through a corrected pizza order from Luigi’s where the fruit arrived on time atop the pizza and not later as a split off entity aiming to stir up trouble in town. Correction: Let’s make it that Tony B. had to strike a deal with the intelligent yellow dude to get rid of him. Assume the last name of Silver per his request to untangle the ins and outs of that name, that metal, that lake, that whatever, and he’d leave his life forever. He could also split this town of Bandanaboro perhaps named for him but perhaps not too. If he took a wife. “Corrections must be made,” the banana being again before him stated firmly. “Will you do it?”

“I do,” he said several days later to Shelley J. before Preacher Ziegler at the alter, name fully transferred from band to man to couple. tbc?

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00420310

“We should really think about renting this 4096 parcel, Baker Bloch,” said Cheesehead Martha Lamb, really trying to help, really trying to further the cause of her hometown Aisle of Palms into the future. “I mean, look at the colors on the sign. TILE again, even.”

“Yess,” spoke a still unconvinced Baker, true owner of town since he was the Mr. Moneybags of the place. He’d have to pay the extra rent. He’d have to find ways to cut back in the real world to justify the cost. $50 artistic allowance each month. This would top it out. Maybe unsubscribe to a TV app…

“You can build a new and true TILE Temple. You can make a true aisle of palms leading up to it. The place is desecrated as it stands. Part of the temple destroyed, palms removed. Look over there (!).”

So Baker Bloch turned around with Martha Lamb (who was actually Wheeler playing a role) to stare at the missing parts of the temple, the missing palms, even Danny’s trailer on the side of Fal Mouth Moon gallery. Who will clean up the bathrooms there if Janitor Danny doesn’t have a place to live?

“2 months,” spoke Martha. “2 month trial. 30 bucks extra during that span. What could it really hurt?”

He (I) counted it up in his (my) head. Close to 16000 square meters, almost a 4th of a sim. Cooperative neighbors. It all seemed set up.

“Alright,” Baker said. “I’ll probably do it.”

“Fine. I’ll tell Stephan. *We’ll* help out with the money.”

Sure you will, thought Baker. Sure you will.

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00420302

“I found this in the same county as White Stone, Hucka. Merry and Mary, just like in St. Merry’s (?) Church.”

“Follow up on that,” she requests. So I did. I talked to Pastor Ziegler about the weird conjunction.

—–

“That’s interesting it’s Mary Ball there as well.”

“As well?” I prompted.

“Yes. Mary Ball is the mother of George Washington. And it happens that it’s Pitch Darkly’s Mary’s maiden name too. Can’t be coincidence.”

“Again,” I replied.

“Especially since they also have a kid named George, come to think of it. Not sure how old the boy would be now. Maybe even a teenager?”

“He was growing up fast the last time I checked,” I agreed

“Anyway (*sigh*), this is certainly a mystery indeed. Another Virginia neck mystery.”

“First Susan and Shadow. Now this. Lively… variant names of both Pitch Penny and Catch Penny, inferring a battery in baseball. Balls are more lively than they use to be back in the dead ball era, before the death of Indian Ray Chapman via beaning and the cleaning up of (the ball and) the game, giving hitters the upper hand over pitchers (and catchers) from that day forward. Martyr, some say because of it.”

“I’m glad you are confiding all this to me,” spoke Pastor Stephan Ziegler of the 1st Church of St. Merry’s — yes, that’s the name — who seemed just happy to be part of the town story again. Aisle of Palms… stated he loves it in all its interesting twists and turns. I thought to myself that he’s probably just glad I didn’t instead go to Rev. Amos T. Sandman across the street at the rival Fries with Cheese Church with my insights — gives him the upper hand there as well. But of course Amos is rarely in the building because of the smell. Allergic to cheese of all things. And they built the church out of the material, as traditional states. No one can really stay there that long without wearing clothes pins on their noses, and so that became part of their traditional as well, part of ecclesiastical lore.

Fries with Cheese office manager Martha Lamb takes note of Baker’s exit from her second floor office window while getting ready to go home herself. She can free up the nostrils at last. Worst part of the job — everything else she loves, just like Stephan, who she perceives as a direct arch-rival, assuming that role for the mainly absent Reverend, she feels

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wedding 03

Weddings at St. Mary’s traditionally took place after the Munday sermon so Preacher Stephan had to sacrifice a Renaldo O’Donnell clown first to appease the Gods. Tradition as well.

“Oops, that was a real squirter Pitch, ha.” The Darklys excused themselves to go home and wash clothes.

Afterwards church officials found the sacrificial altar was too heavy to move, so they made do with a cheap wedding booth found buried in a pile of junk at the back of the annex. Toothpick and Elberta then said their “I do’s” to Preacher Ziegler, since Preacher Stephan, a Northerner, refused to acknowledge the Deep South tradition of marrying siblings as kosher.

At the reception, Marty sang one of his beautiful love ditties to Saffie sitting with Toothpick, Elberta and best man Zapppa, hoping to get a better rental unit out of it.

Time to cut the cake. Big Wanda becomes annoyed about the orange butterflies that keep flying off her head in the excitement and leaves the task solely to Toothpick.

As feared, Her Majesty the local bigfoot/yeti came up from the new hole behind St. Mary’s to pay her respects to the newlyweds but was surprisingly controlled by the Corona-V pirates and ended up not eating anyone.

Lastly: group picture. Everyone had a laugh about all the innuendos.

And that’s it! Log another Collagesity or Sunklands photo-novel in the books.

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