Tag Archives: Renaldo O’Donnell^*$

wedding 03

Weddings at St. Mary’s traditionally took place after the Munday sermon so Preacher Stephan had to sacrifice a Renaldo O’Donnell clown first to appease the Gods. Tradition as well.

“Oops, that was a real squirter Pitch, ha.” The Darklys excused themselves to go home and wash clothes.

Afterwards church officials found the sacrificial altar was too heavy to move, so they made do with a cheap wedding booth found buried in a pile of junk at the back of the annex. Toothpick and Elberta then said their “I do’s” to Preacher Ziegler, since Preacher Stephan, a Northerner, refused to acknowledge the Deep South tradition of marrying siblings as kosher.

At the reception, Marty sang one of his beautiful love ditties to Saffie sitting with Toothpick, Elberta and best man Zapppa, hoping to get a better rental unit out of it.

Time to cut the cake. Big Wanda becomes annoyed about the orange butterflies that keep flying off her head in the excitement and leaves the task solely to Toothpick.

As feared, Her Majesty the local bigfoot/yeti came up from the new hole behind St. Mary’s to pay her respects to the newlyweds but was surprisingly controlled by the Corona-V pirates and ended up not eating anyone.

Lastly: group picture. Everyone had a laugh about all the innuendos.

And that’s it! Log another Collagesity or Sunklands photo-novel in the books.

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cheeky

A deep metallic voice: “Ah yes, this must be the tube that LRPV used to destroy formerly Zen City and set up his Nowtown to rule NWES Island. Until it too was destroyed by a spawned fireball emitted from the Zen City detonation. The rule lasted about 10 seconds, then. Wait.” He checked his script. He saw the word “improvise” in bold italics after “Wait.” “Uhm. I don’t think that’s right, Wayne.” Who’s Wayne? I look off in the distance.

Sandy knew it had to happen. As he had changed others to make them appear as he wished, so too must he now pay the price. Karma, a word not to be thrown lightly around. He lay in his bed, dreaming he was another. Another Sandy. Seems like Spongebub images are everywhere these days, ba ha ha ha ha.

“Dig that chick at the bar, King Orange.”

“Sandy?” replied King Orange, now staring at her instead of clown and fellow burger baron Renaldo O’Donnell. “Sandy Chic?” he completed.

Renaldo O’Donnell glanced over his shoulder again, taking her in better. “I’d like to get her out of that little purple skirt,” he said in a male bastard way. “Like to get some of that tail.”

Sandy overheard with her sharp squirrel(-like) ears. She walked over and complied. “*Here* (*pop*), you can have them (*slam*). The things were getting stuck in the bar anyway behind me; keeping me from standing properly.”

She walked out of the Bigfoot Bar as they called it, also slamming the door.

Sandy Beech fully awakes with this, remembering everything. The stand, the poster. “Wendy,” he says aloud. “I forgot about Wendy!” He rushes downstairs to see if anything he was dreaming about remained.

Nothing but a cold, naked air blowing through an open door with a suddenly broke off handle. The wind slammed it shut again. Who would do this?

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bow

She hesitated in front of the golden phone. She just couldn’t go through with it. She picks up the receiver, dials the number, all of ’em, including the last one, the 1 that will put her in 0. Rings. Sandy answers.

“You’ve changed your mind,” he guessed correctly.

“Yeah, ahem. It’s a lot of money.”

“But…?”

“But… my friends need me over at the other set.” She glances their way again. King Winnifried Orange smiles back. Clown Renaldo O’Donnell, back turned to Wendy at the moment, smiles at him. There was a warm feeling all around. She’d never had better working mates. All were in costume, all were consummate professionals. She couldn’t leave “Burger Wars.” This was not even to mention (director) Chip Wassleboro! They were having an affair behind his 2 wive’s backs.

“Wendy,” stated character-actor Sandy Beech, straightforward if nervous. Uncharacteristic. The Twins were staring at him with murder in their eyes. “You *signed* — a *contract*; *they*” — and he turns again to dare to lock eyes with them for a second — “are not *amused* by this. I’m looking straight at them, Wendy. You don’t want to *cross* them. Do you know what I mean, do you understand what I’m saying? Put – on – the dress. The other one.”

“I can’t do it, Sandy,” Wendy reiterates, knowing this must remain a Wendy City and not progress beyond. Her left white stocking was drooping annoyingly down her thigh. $19.19 she paid for them. And they hadn’t even lasted beyond the month. What was the name of that store? Oh right. Cub Run. The place she accidentally met Sandy again that day the 1st hurricane was forecast. Then taking the cursed money and donning the bloodied dress at the elevation of the second beyond tropical storm. Because this was not just a Wendy City but also a Second City. Second Lyfe City. *The* City. She knew it all ended here, the 1 into the 0. She might as well be Wend-… Wend-… oh, she couldn’t do it; what was she thinking. Of course she’ll take the money. King Orange looked over again  — another smile. She smiled back but weaker this time, breaking down. The Twins were just too strong a force to reckon with.

—–

“Thank *Gods*,” Sandy exclaimed while slamming down the receiver and getting the results he wanted.

(to be continued?)

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Filed under **VIRTUAL, 0021, 0509, Apple's Orchard, Jeogeot^^, NWES Island^

separate but equal

Somehow I always end up in the right place, often smart George A. thinks from his stool chair while staring at a gigantic, leaning tower of vegetarian hamburger he is debating whether to eat. Probably not — he’s not that high tonight. Yet. The red, yellow and red and yellow burger kings or princes or whatever dance synchronized to his side. He dare not look at them again else they go all wrong once more and start prancing on each others foot. Feet. So large. Where’s his joint, he he.

Right here.

He starts to eat.

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Filed under **VIRTUAL, 0020, 0508, Maebaleia/Satori^^, Toppsity^

in the middle

“Ahh! A monster!”

“Oh thank God. A beautiful princess…

… with a death skull face *panic*!”

“What *is* this place?”

“And where the hell did the clown go? Over there?”

—–

—–

“Oh God! Lost control! Spinning…!”

—–

“Okay, there’s the Lord,” Crocogator continues, “safe” on the other side now. “But I can’t concentrate on him because of all these *slapping tentacles*. This is not Heaven. It’s Hell!”

“And where’s that horrible, gut wrenching ‘music’ coming from?”

“Certainly not from over *there*.”

“Can’t… *move*.”

—–

“How long to keep him in the cat place, sire?”

“Oh, a couple hollers more should do it.”

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Filed under **VIRTUAL, 0015, 0612, Maebaleia/Satori^^, X-City^

Middle Game

“I pray that I’ve done good by you my Lord.”

“ARISE.”

“Okay, yes sir,” Crocogator speaks to the booming voice in the sky, his King. He rises.

“AROUSE.”

“Um. What?”

“A ROSE.”

Sacrificee Renaldo O’Donnell stands up from the sacrificial altar, heart beating again within him. He has a new one.

“I will take you to the King now.”

—–

“Not those two silly beings. The real one. Over here.”

“Alright. Thank you again! Thank you so much.”

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Filed under **VIRTUAL, 0015, 0611, Maebaleia/Satori^^, X-City^

another substitute

“Incendio!!!”

—–

“You know that wasn’t really Lisa the Vegetarian Smipson you burned alive at the stake back there. Just someone else — yellow.”

“I know. Still felt good.”

“The things I do for mere burgers, pheh.”

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switcher

“You see, it’s so peaceful in here compared to your church.”

“My *former* church. I’m with you all the way, Pitch darling,” Mary whispered back to her vampire husband. “Martha Lamb’s just gone plain *loco* with these urges of hers…. exposed for what she really is if you ask me.”

“Precisely. The Cult of Oo’d always admits such urges and encourages their uses. Cheese blocks them out. But cheese *is* the urges.”

“Can’t see what’s right in front of you.”

“Right.”

Bill, the Queen of Collagesity, finished up her rant and turned toward the victim. It was always the same ritual.

“Don’t kill me, sir, er, ma’am,” the bound clown begged. “I have so much to live for!”

—–

“Oops! That was really a squirter, Pitch, haha!”

But then suddenly loud talking Mary, all eyes upon them, turned red herself from embarrassment.

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Filed under **VIRTUAL, 0009, 0612, Rubi^

feathered

“Ooo, heartburn.” Rabbit 01 pauses for a small burp. “It’s always waiting, for us. Past and future and waiting.”

“And not waiting,” adds Rabbit 02. “Like something’s already happened that we — or one of us — has forgotten already happened.”

“Mainly *you*”

Rabbit 02 stews underneath his rabbit suit. “I’m not a good bunny. I play too much golf. I pull too many flag pins for holes in one.”

“You made that airplane engine not fall and then fall again. That was pretty good.”

“Just in that one movie. Just with that one dude. A bridge opens, a bridge closes. Coming and going.”

Rabbit 01 taps her fingers against her other hand. “Why are we here? Do you remember *this*?”

“Start of a new religion,” states Rabbit 02. “Blending of sacred and sacrificial. Should be fun.”

“Clown to be sacrificed how many times a month?”

“Four,” Rabbit 02 guesses. “Five, maybe. I suppose it depends on the moon.”

“Which you know all about.” Rabbit 01 peers around at the congregation, sees their disinterested looks.”I don’t think it’s going to happen today.”

“It’s happened 3 times already. 3 which is 1. ‘Nother one. Be patient. Have fun and be patient.”

“Hiberian-hispanic clowns. Mind you he *deserves* to die over and over…”

“He does,” quickly agrees Rabbit 02 with Rabbit 01. He removes a dead fly from his arm fur. “It’s a way for this place to remain clean and pure. 6 pieces and the truth.”

“You talking about Heterocera? Or just Collagesity?”

“That will be up to the queen.”

A jump happened.

“Oh. There she is. It’s me!”

“No it’s not,” Rabbit 02 hastily modifies. “It’s her. The queen.”

“And the sacrificee. Me as well!”

“Pipe down,” orders Rabbit 02. “People may actually hear us if we yell loud enough.”

“Happened that one time, yes. Olde Lapara Towne. They heard us from the future. It was in front of the Razielian synagogue.”

“I *know* where it happened. I was inside. Performing the sacrifice. Knife slip. Wasn’t pretty.”

“And here we are again.”

“Blink your eyes,” commands Rabbit 02, who was somewhat the older and wiser of the two. “Things should come into focus. I see the true queen. And the true sacrifice. It’s her all right. The Bill is back in town.”

“Oh yeah. I see now.” Rabbit 01 looks down. “And look what appeared in my lap.”

“Don’t do that.”

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Clemscott

“The more I look at Greenup 03, Broken Heart, the more I think it is about Spica just above the celestial equator turning into Vega and igniting brighter in the process, like, um, an ant being burned by a magnifying glass. Tonya Two Egg — the close Spica binary star — is stuck like unto a frying pan in the Horizons-Spica sim which is actually the Horizons-Vega sim, unable to remove herself from intense scrutiny. The ice fishing shack is a time and space portal. Can she reach all the way back to VHC City and heal the wound?”

But Broken Heart is instead staring toward Greenup 02 on the opposite wall, thinking:  This is you, Jacob I. my friend, my comrade. Prince Martin. Will you be able to heal *yourself*?

—–

“All the dreams reaffirm the same location and the same needed action, Mary,” Pitch speaks from the viewing platform after parking the freshly stolen orange beetle at the appropriate spot down below.

“It all makes sense now: apple, orange, yellow fruit — banana…

… and then the giant lime on Merlin’s Mound — thank you Wheeler Wilson!”

“You’re welcome!”

“This is clearly ‘Floydada’, the start of ‘Pumpkintwisters’ analysis.”

“Nifty,” Mary replies while beginning to eat a peach.

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Filed under **VIRTUAL, 0007, 0603, Clemscott^, Gaeta V^^