Monthly Archives: February 2017

Doorstep

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She’d made it to the fairy house! All Old Mabel had to do was switch out a wood with an iron. Simple. “Hello in there,” she spoke to Keat Owens The Joker positioned beside the door. “Anyone home?” No answer. She gently tapped her iron several times against his chest.

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“Stop doing that and get inside,” a muffled voice then issued from within. Old Mabel retracted the iron. Keat Owens’ face remained motionless behind the Joker card. “They’re waiting for you. *I* waited for you. Go ahead, go on….” Old Mabel heeded the command.

She noticed a picture of a cartoon man with yellow hair above the green table in the side yard before ascending the stairs.

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“Roostre,” she said while waking up.

—–

“Next time I’m just going to walk into the fairy house, Baker Bloch, and not attempt communication with The Joker.”

“Probably a good idea,” Baker responded. He was trying out a black beer tonight. “Incremental entry. I don’t think I’ve personally had a dream like that. Serial.” Something then seemed to be clawing on the roof of the bar. “What’s that?”

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“Um, probably just the wind?” But Old Mabel had started looking around for a light switch.

Rhoda knew what it was. And he knew about Roostre. He wisely kept his mouth shut concerning all that mentioned stuff tonight. Dreams, pheh.

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Try 02

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Armed with a golf club Dutch had recommended, Old Mabel was now past the pink flowers and at the west mouth of the big log. She peered down the circular tunnel, ready for action. But no demons appeared within or on the other side.

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Instead her attention was drawn to the dust bunny fairy house Dutch had also told her about.

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She cautiously walked up to the door…

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… and found Keat Owens as The Joker beside it, just as Dutch had described. But she then somehow got caught back inside the log while trying to approach him.

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—–

Old Mabel woke up. She’d have to try again another night.

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Slide ‘n’ Glide

“Dutch has appeared to me several times in reality. None in dreams. That’s kind of odd in itself.”

“Maybe,” returns Baker Bloch. He was nursing a bottle of Honey Brown lager. Old Mabel was trying out the bar’s green tea and finding it acceptable. Rhoda was subbing in for an under-the-weather Furry Karl tonight, which was surprising to Baker. “Rhoda?” he said, drawing the cyan ovoid flattie toward him.

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“Yes sir. What’ll it be?”

“No, I’m fine with my lager still. I’m just wondering.” He paused, thinking about how to put it, and then just blurting the idea out. “I… I though you were dead.”

“No sir. Just working in another town. Bennington… ever heard of it?”

“Through Furry Karl, yeah. But weren’t you kind of, um, merged with the ballerina and Starbucaneer and then killed by that airplane crashing into the latter’s establishment about 3 months back?”

Rhoda thought hard. He did remember dying now. Several times. Many times. “I’ve been shot, stabbed, burned, crushed. Yes, I now recall that part of my existence. It all started back in Bennington with my head being sliced in two by Old Kent. You know, the shark. The thing with the fin on his back. The one who has trouble walking around on land. Has to slide and all.”

“Yes,” replies Baker. “I remember Old Kent. So you’re…” He paused again.

Rhoda helped him out once more. “I’m also peculiar because I’m a true flattie in reality and also here in this Second Lyfe of yours. Unlike, say, your Tin S. Man, your Spongebub or, um, well Furry Karl, although he doesn’t have fur in the real world.” Rhoda thought of a better example. “And like, say, Lisa Simpson.”

Baker thought back to how many other “12 Oz Mouse” characters had appeared in Collagesity, and how they compared to Rhoda’s appearance in same. There’s Old Kent, obviously, although he’s more actual shark-like here. Then Carrcassonee herself claims to be Fitz Mouse, the star of the show. And she says that her Spider is another incarnation of Fitz’s sidekick Skillet, although Spider is a chihuahua and Skillet is a squirrel. He thought. Baker then just posed the question to Rhoda.

“You remember Fitz Mouse, Skillet, and others at the, er, Cardboard City?” Baker took another sip of lager.

“Bennington, yeah,” replied Rhoda, who had begun moving away from Baker and Old Mabel but then returned.

“Well, if you’ll excuse me,” Old Mabel said. “I’ve got to run over to the Bodega market across the way and get some bread before I return home.” In truth, she was getting a little frustrated by Baker’s lack of focus tonight. She had important things to mull over about Dutch before starting to dream tonight, which was inevitable. Could she truly pass through the eastern gates of her home later tonight in dreams and find out what Dutch had been calling a “secret society”?

“Alright Old Mabel,” responded Baker. I’ll walk you home afterwards.” He again noticed the headphones around her neck. “How’s the Beetles listening going?”

Old Mabel was glad to have the attention shift back to her. “Fine, fine. I’m up to ‘Walls and Bridges’ now in my circumnavigation of John Lennon’s solo material. “Then it’ll be back to ‘Plastic Ono Band’ for another pass. Per your recommendation I skipped over the Ono tainted ‘Some Time in New York,’ despite the flattie recently appearing in the Blue Feather having that t-shirt.”

“The New York City t-shirt, yeah,” clarifies Baker. He was there when the Mykall Skall flattie appeared basically out of nowhere, matching the manifestation of Lennon and the rest of the Beetles walking Abbey Road on the wall into the Table Room. “Lennon knows about us.”

“I *know*,” states Old Mabel, getting excited about that idea again.

Rhoda had moved away now. Talk about Bennington and his fellow citizens could wait for another night. Plus: how to even explain it all? “Anything else for you bud?” he asked the back of Curled Paper’s Heineken loving nephew Raymond while passing by. No answer. “Guess not.” Rhoda continued gliding toward the far corner of the bar to start locking up for the night.

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Stuck

As Dutch advised, she was beyond the gate now, but caught in some kind of solid growth of pink flowers.

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On the far edge of the flowers from the gate was lodged the marble head of Dutch’s human form: Detective/Chef Keat Owens, who everyone thought was burned to death in Collagesity North by grey alien Jerome T. Newton over a week back.

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Turns out the marble hands left behind were only a prop. And now Old Mabel, in a dream state, has uncovered the accompanying stone head. But she can progress no further tonight, although she caught a glimpse of this green table just beyond the entrapping flowers.

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Dream

“Oh dear. Still there,” says Old Mabel, walking around her Minoan home this morning. That could only mean one thing.

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She continues to circumnavigate the grounds…

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Front gate.

… then spies this new spectacle just past the lighthouse. A big colorful, half hidden eye…

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… whose pupil flickered back and forth at a rapid pace. It sat just above and beyond a side gate of the property leading to Collagesity North. The formerly closed portal was now open.

A huge blue whale flew over her head as she was pondering whether to pass through the gate, briefly blocking out the sun.

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The eye both beckoned and warned. What would she choose?

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—–

Old Mabel woke up. She had nodded off while listening to Beetles music again and working on another page of her journal (concerning Lucky). Across from her stood a brown being whose head almost touched the ceiling.

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Old Mabel removed her headphones, which were blaring out Lennon’s “No. Nine Dream” off his “Walls and Bridges” solo project from the mid-70s. “Dutch, I presume,” she said, feigning calm amidst the surprise appearance.

“Who else?” he said in a deep voice appropriate for his size and raising all four hands simultaneously.

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No. Nine

Old Mabel takes a break from listening to Beetles music to write in her journal.

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Dear Journal,

Yesterday we learned that the masked Librarian who has been sitting at The Table for one month is actually supposedly deceased detective/chef Keat Owens, who is actually and *really* a giant 4 handed fireproof creature (besalisk) named Dutch. Dutch also knows Unch, but we don’t understand the exact relationship yet. Wheeler is musician David Bowie is grey alien Jerome T. Newton.

I continue to have cursed dreams. A huge lusty red robot named Steve looming over the Collagesity public library and wishing to chat about robolution and ballerinas. Caucasian Tommy Brade and Even Whiter Walt at a bar talking sports and drugs on Meeting Flat, where I first saw Unch. So many more — the oval portal, yes. I think it is controlled now by plant people mentioned in Journal 2, which may be the same as the forest trees, or perhaps a particular species, maybe the eucalyptus, or maybe just the *big* eucalyptus. Or maybe just the big eucalyptus at 125/125.

My feelings for Baker Bloch continue in a different direction. He stayed with me until sunset day before yesterday, when I had a little, I mean, a tiny too much to drink. He did not hold me. 😦 I haven’t heard from Jiff or his girlfriend Brenda in over a week. Carrcassonnee — yes, I’ve dreamed about her as well. She wishes to communicate, obviously. She has wise words to say about Unch.

The Great Wall is an asp.

That is all for now. Goodbye and goodnight.

(I forgot to mention Lucky. Another night.)

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Bee(r) Talk

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“Big game’s coming up Sunday. Who’re you rooting for?”

“I can hear the sound of bees in my hand.”

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Information

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“Turns out Unch and The Librarian might be one and the same. Keat Owens The Librarian is, underneath it all, what’s called a giant besalisk, a 4 handed version. It’s the involved salamander lineage that doesn’t allow him to be burned, thus the perfect nemesis for firestarter Jerome T. Newton, who we also know now is another version of Wheeler. The ash grey marble hands were a prop.”

“This just gets stranger and stranger,” returns Old Mabel. “The Woods are too peculiar. They could easily drive one mad with their continual twisty-turny ways.”

“Yes,” states Baker, also noticing that Old Mabel didn’t mention anything about moving *away* from said woods. She was engaged for certain.

“I want to know everything about The Diagonal,” she then said.

—–

“Here, let me just clear off some of these beer cans. And: voila.”

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“How long did you say you’ve had this?” asked Baker Bloch.

“It came with the place,” clarified Furry Karl the bartender. “Let’s see, that would be 2005. Old Kringles.” He chuckled, thinking of the good demon he bought the bar from while it was still over in Rubi. “Quite the character. Wore a cow bell around his neck at all times.”

“This must be from the original village. But I thought it was destroyed.”

“Nope,” states Karl plainly. “There it is. You can see it with your dead peepers right in front of you.”

“Could be a copy, a duplicate,” speculated Baker.

“Well, could a copy do *this*?” Karl touches the object and produces a shower of shamrocks.

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“Maybe,” says Baker.

“No, this is the sign. *The* sign. The one turned over and thrown aside during the ’68 robolution. A turning point in our history and time.”

“You said robolution there, Furry Karl. Did you mean revolution?”

“It was what it was.”

—–

Old Mabel dug deeper into the mystery of the belalisk at the town library. Journal 2 contained some information, but she was determined to find more. A particular pattern in another part of the book also caught her attention this night of playing “stay awake as long as possible to avoid dreaming”. The book just fell open at the page while she was trying to push it away from her to lay her head on the table. A yawn quickly turned into a gasp. “The portal in my dreams?”

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But it was too late. Already sound asleep, the monsters arrived quickly.

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Fell a Victim

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“But I don’t understand,” says Keat Owens The Librarian. “David Bowie seems like a good and decent guy. You are just *evil*.”

“David Bowie played with demons and you are what you eat,” explained Wheeler. “If you are a lemon and consume sugar cubes you turn into lemonade. It was inevitable. This is one path split in two. Just like you.”

“Curious. Do you have a copy of “Valis” in your library here? Or in the other library?”

“Why are you asking *me*?…”

“… Librarian,” they both said together. They even shared a smile for split second.

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New Leaves

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“It’s time to take off your mask, Librarian,” speaks a freshly arrived Wheeler. “I have learned information concerning you from an old witch named Mid Hazel over at New Island.”

“Alright,” he relented. “I know Mid Hazel and her ways. But when I reveal who I am you must change as well. We must do it in concert. Ready?…”

“Don’t play that one two three game with me,” demands Wheeler. “Just remove the mask.”

He did.

And she did.

“As people like us say,” the transmogrified Wheeler pronounces, “we meet again.”

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