Afterfoot 01

bb:

We’re here this morning with Billy J. Thornberry, star of the Bigfoot toy happening. Billy, glad you could join us here on the Baker Bloch Blog.

Billy:

Thank you as well for having me. But, please, call me Wild. All my friends do.

bb:

Thanks, um, *Wild*. So tell me how you got roles in several toy happenings so far. I know there’s the one over in Sharieland where you made your first appearance. And then there’s the kind of unfinished one involving Whitehead Crossing. That’s a Gene Fade production, isn’t it?

Wild:

It was such a brief role I can’t remember who directed it. Wasn’t that Albino Turtle [filming that day]?

bb:

Well, I’ll just have to check. So let’s go back to Sharieland…

Wild:

Well, you know I’m a clone of course, in that I am an actor playing [cloned] roles. Many of my wild, wild friends, hehe, worried that I was actually killed by Hater the Cow during the production. But of course that was a stunt double… er, stunt dummy I should say there.

bb:

I think people were shocked that the cow picked you and you alone for the crushing. None of the other toy avatars in the happening seemed to even be touched or affected at all. Yet you were in pieces (!).

Wild:

My wife was too when she saw the film, briefly forgetting that I was sitting there by her side and holding her hand through it all. “Oh, there you are,” she said after the shock and looking around her again. We both had a good laugh out of that one.

bb:

Toys are easily copied, so the replica seemed very close to the original.

Wild:

Indeed. And toy avatars are sometimes easily fooled because our brians develop in different ways.

bb:

Brians?

Wild:

Yes. (pause) Oh, I meant brains, haha. See??

—–

[5 minute pause to adjust Wild’s brains]

—–

bb:

So we’re back after a seating adjustment, we’ll say.

Wild:

Say we. Umlaut swastika German memory boat wampum negative carrcass.

—–

[10 minute break to reboot Wild’s brains back to default settings]

—–

bb:

Okay, let’s give it another try. Brian, I mean, Wild… ready?

Wild:

Ready, yep. So my wife also played Nina Sauk in the new happening, which I’m very proud of and what I consider my finest role.

bb:

Where you played Taum Sauk of course. The accompanying action-adventure movie should be out by December, correct?

Wild:

Maybe. Hopefully. But I feel that is the role I was born to play. Taum Sauk, the iron smelting genius who founded Bigfoot and what was originally called Irons.

bb:

But we have [the name] Middle Game in the middle, between Irons and the finalized Bigfoot, after the influential survey of the swamp where it was found to be exactly 100 feet long. A big number of feet. Big feet Swamp.

Wild:

Other toy avatars moved in after Mina and I settled into our rustic cabin, later replaced by a nice brick house, the first in the village. But it turns out [the producer] decided to change all their names to Johnson. So we have Howard Johnson, Samuel Johnson, Andrew Johnson, and Lyndon Johnson, both Elder and Younger. Andrew and Lyndon were secret twins, and that will come out more in the movie.

bb:

Can’t wait. What else can you tell us about the early days of Bigfoot? Was Taum Sauk there even before the planting of the trees?

Wild:

No, of course not. That was the days of God and dinosaurs alone, who original made the roads; planted the plants. We came after all that was done. There were no humans before us.

bb:

Dinosaurs were in the Bigfoot toy happening. I suppose that’s a direct connection to its past, then.

Wild:

Sure. And they all lived off blue mushrooms and blue stuff in general. The Society of the Blue Ring. Those were the dinosaurs.

bb:

Secret dinosaur society?

Wild:

Surely.

[to be continued]